The Boy I Love
Page 17
‘Are you OK, Peggy? Can I get you anything before I go?’
There was the sound of shuffling and someone moving around and then Percy’s voice rang out loud and clear.
‘She has gone home already, my dear. Thank you for your concern. Let us just hope the great oak door opens tomorrow night, shall we? Good night.’
Sally called back a good night as she climbed the stairs to her room. Well, what was that all about? No doubt young Sarah doing some more work on her part . . . Just then, Jeremy came out of the boys’ dressing room and interrupted her musings.
‘Hi. Are you ready to go?’ he asked.
‘Just getting my bag and stuff,’ she replied.
As they went downstairs Sally tried to listen for any sounds from Percy’s room. Jeremy looked at her as if she had gone mad as she tiptoed past the door.
‘What the . . . ?’ he started to ask, but she put her finger to her lips and mouthed, ‘Tell you later.’
Outside, Sally took Jeremy’s arm and started to explain all about the incident with Sarah and the dresses and her new role. Jeremy, however, was only half-listening as he tried to work out exactly what he was going to tell his friend tonight. He had spent the whole day trying to get Eddie out of his mind. All through his preparations for the evening performance, all he could concentrate on was Eddie’s kiss. His mouth. There had been a moment onstage tonight when he had dried, forgotten his lines. It is every actor’s worst nightmare. One minute everything is going swimmingly then suddenly there is a pause. Jeremy had a vision of Eddie’s smile in front of his eyes, he was leaning in to touch his face and all around was silence, deafening silence. Silence! Christ, who was supposed to be talking? The face in front of Jeremy was Percy’s, panic in his eyes, begging Jeremy to come up with his next line. The moment seemed to last for hours though it was only a few seconds, but Jeremy wanted to die. Never had this happened before. He was mortified. He apologized to Percy when they came off stage but the older man just laughed it off.
‘Don’t worry, mate, happens to the best of us. Doesn’t half give you a kick in the bollocks though, eh?’
‘Jeremy?’ Sally’s voice was concerned. ‘You keep going off into another place, and I have no idea what you are thinking. Are you worried about work, because if you are, don’t be. You are a marvellous actor and I am sure they are going to give you Laertes in Hamlet. It will be so exciting and—’
‘Sally, please.’ Jeremy literally stopped Sally there and then in the street and took both her hands in his as he faced her.
‘Please stop. I have to talk to you. I am going mad. Sally, I have fallen in love!’
Chapter 26
When the two friends got back to Sally’s flat, she put the fire on, opened a bottle of wine and made poached eggs on hot buttered toast, while Jeremy poured his heart out. Once they were settled in front of the fire Sally offered her opinion.
‘Why is it so terrible that you have fallen in love? You should be over the moon,’ she managed to say through a mouthful of toast.
‘I know, I know,’ groaned Jeremy, ‘but it is not part of my plan. I do not want to get involved with anything other than my work. You know we have talked about this so often, Sally. I feel it is important that I focus completely on my job. We have got Hamlet coming up, and that will be tough for all of us.’
‘But dearest, life can never really be ordered and controlled like you are suggesting, and in fact, having someone in your life can add to your understanding of yourself and others, and help you with your performances.’ She watched her friend fiddle unenthusiastically with his food. ‘Don’t you want that?’ she couldn’t resist asking.
Jeremy smiled. ‘Not really hungry – here you are, I know you are dying to have it.’ He passed her his plate. ‘The other thing we haven’t mentioned is the whole issue of being gay. I don’t understand how this has happened to me, when I have never fancied a man before. Why now, suddenly?’
Sally thought about this as she ate the last piece of toast. ‘But have you ever really fancied a girl? Anyone?’ she asked.
Jeremy finished off the wine in his glass and poured another. After a couple of sips he answered Sally with a sigh. ‘No.’
Sally suddenly had a vision of Mack for some bizarre reason. She had fancied him when they had met again when she was home in Cheltenham. He had never got in touch afterwards, and yet Sally had felt there was a real connection between them. But then like Jeremy she was not really interested in anything at the moment except acting. So whose fault was it that Mack had not been given sufficient reason to call?
‘It is so hard to deal with these intense emotions, isn’t it?’ she said softly. ‘But I really believe you must go with your heart. Eddie obviously feels the same about you. But what will his parents say? Surely they will not understand their son and heir being gay? Oh Jeremy, I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Go gently and don’t rush things – and be careful.’
Jeremy leaned over and gave Sally a big hug. He felt so safe with her. He loved the fact they could talk about anything and share intimate secrets about themselves. Would he have that with Eddie? Just the thought of him made Jeremy’s stomach do a somersault. It was no good, he knew, trying to discuss anything rationally; he had to pursue this thing to whatever conclusion occurred. He was completely smitten.
He left Sally with a promise to go slowly and embrace his newfound love with caution. However, as he walked home in the cold November night, he was already planning how he could meet up with Eddie as soon as possible.
After Jeremy had left, Sally cleared up and started to take her make-up off when the door opened and her sister bounced into the flat, followed by Simon carrying a bag of beers.
‘Hi, Sally, didn’t expect you to be up. Still, just as well you are, as we would probably have woken you up anyway. Sit down, Simon, and give me the beers, and I will stick them in the fridge. Would you like some scrambled eggs on toast?’ Dora suggested as she made her way to the kitchen. But before Simon could answer, Sally piped up, ‘Actually I just used up all the eggs. Jeremy came back for a drink and we had poached eggs. Sorry.’
Dora made a face. ‘Oh pooh. Well, that is a bummer. Have we got any bread left? We can have toast and Marmite or something then.’
Simon flicked open the top of a can and joined in the discussion. ‘Don’t worry about me, darling. Beer is fine. Come on, don’t fret. Come and sit with me.’
Sally could guess where this was leading and she followed Dora into the kitchen as her sister went to put the beers in the fridge.
‘What are you doing?’ she whispered. ‘You are surely not considering letting Simon stay the night by any chance?’
Dora turned and studied her. ‘What is this all about – the older sister taking care of her younger sibling’s moral welfare? I don’t know if he is going to stay the night yet. It depends. But if he does, that is really my business, don’t you think? Come on, Sally, I am old enough to decide these things for myself.’
Sally snorted. ‘You are eighteen, for God’s sake! I was still a virgin then.’
‘Well, I’m not,’ replied Dora, relishing the dropping of this bombshell.
Sally was absolutely dumbfounded, but one look at her sister’s smug expression made her determined not to reveal the extent of the horror she felt.
‘Oh I see. Well then, I guess you know what you are doing. How many men have there been in your short life?’ she asked with no attempt to hide the sarcasm.
Uncomfortable now with where this conversation might go, Dora did not answer immediately. While she was deciding how to deal with this rather tricky subject, luck intervened, and Simon appeared in the kitchen doorway.
‘Come on, girls, give it a break, I am trying to chill out here. Are we going to have a cosy threesome?’ he sniggered.
‘Oh grow up, Simon,’ snapped Sally. ‘I will leave you both to it. Good night.’
She marched off to her bedroom and slammed the door, then regretted the gesture.
They probably thought she was jealous. Simon was always trying it on with her, and now he was hanging around her sister. How pathetic was that? And what the hell was Dora up to? Had she really lost her virginity already? Sally was outraged and yet she realized that it truly was none of her business, was it? She thought about their parents and wondered if they knew about Dora. Thinking about them made Sally feel so homesick and alone. Talking to Jeremy earlier had caused her to start thinking about her own life and what she really wanted from it. Now she began to feel there was a chasm between her and Dora. Their lives were no longer under the auspices of their parents. The family had changed and she had to change also – but how? She suddenly felt very tired and resolved to have a long talk to Dora about everything and get things straight between them. Life was difficult enough without arguments with her sister.
As she hit the pillow, Sally heard music coming from the other room and Dora’s throaty laughter. Oh God, how was she going to face them both in the morning if Simon stayed? Sally accepted that she was being ridiculous and getting herself in a tizzy for no good reason – except there was a reason: Dora’s welfare. Just because she had had a few drinks, did her sister really have to stoop so low as to sleep with a slob like Simon? The answer was probably yes. If that was the case, then the less she knew about it the better. She would get up early, and if Simon was here she would make herself scarce and get out quick.
Sally managed to smile to herself as she felt sleep starting to take her away from all this pettiness. Come on, girl, you have dealt with worse than this in your life, she told herself. Get a grip . . . but her body was gone, drifting into blissful unconsciousness. She would save the gripping for another day.
Chapter 27
A Man for All Seasons ended this coming Saturday, which would mean a busy night for everyone getting the old set out, and the new one in. However, it was a little easier this weekend as they had three weeks’ rehearsal for Hamlet. The actors were given a special dispensation to have the night off, and Sunday and Monday morning too. Several of the cast had decided to go home to family and loved ones.
Jeremy immediately rang Eddie and told him the good news.
‘Fabulous.’ Eddie was pleased. ‘I have such a plan for the weekend you will not believe your eyes. How about I come over Saturday morning and pick you up? Presumably you will finish even earlier because you are not in Lysistrata, are you?’
Jeremy had not even thought of that! ‘Yes, you’re right – I will check today just to make sure. I can’t wait. Talk to you later.’
‘Oh yes, my lovely man, this is the beginning of a beautiful thing. Bye!’
The phone went dead in his hand but Jeremy held on a little longer, trying to feel Eddie through the handpiece. ‘Silly me,’ he whispered. He then set off to find Heather, and as usual found the poor woman struggling with piles of props in her room.
‘Oh, Jeremy – perfect timing. Can you help me get these boxes off my desk, and find a space in a corner somewhere? It’s murder in here on Get-out Weekends. Would you like a coffee? The kettle has boiled – it’s over there by the sink, and there is fresh milk in the fridge.’
Jeremy agreed to all demands and five minutes later the pair of them were sipping coffee on a relatively empty props table.
‘So how is the world treating you, my dear?’ asked Heather, who liked to keep tabs on everybody if she could. ‘I notice you have not been in the pub much lately. Are the lads giving you a hard time still?’
‘No, thank God, they have learned to leave me alone, especially as I am the official cleaner of the boys’ dressing room in return. So we are all happy. No, it’s just because I wasn’t in this week’s production, and you didn’t overload me with prop-finding or other such chores that I have been getting out and about a bit. There is some lovely countryside outside Crewe.’
Jeremy took a swig of coffee before asking his question. Crossing his fingers under the table for luck he went on, ‘Heather, I don’t want to appear cheeky but as I am not in the last performances on Saturday, and if I make sure I have done all my duties, is there a possibility I could leave lunchtime on Saturday?’
‘Cor, you are pushing your luck, mate,’ chuckled Heather. ‘However, in my great wisdom I see no reason why not. But how will you make it worth my while?’
Jeremy stood up and went and rinsed his mug in the sink, creating a moment of drama with the silence. He then turned slowly and announced, ‘You have a choice of chocolates, ciggies or wine. Name your price, Heather Rollings.’
‘Chocolates, please – and make it a nice big box,’ she added.
‘Naturally, my dear, that is a deal.’ Jeremy blew her a kiss and practically skipped out of her office. He then went to the Green Room to call Eddie back, hoping there was no one around while he did so. With luck, the others were all still in bed. He was in luck; the room was empty, though it smelled of last night’s stale ready meals, and Pot Noodles. But for once Jeremy didn’t notice: he was a man on a mission. He dialled the number and waited nervously, picturing an enormous entrance hall and the butler, as described by Eddie, gliding serenely across the marble floor to answer the telephone.
‘Crewe Hall, who is calling, please?’ The tone was perfect.
‘Oh, good morning, it is Jeremy Sinclair here. I am one of the actors at Crewe Theatre this season. I was hoping to talk to Eddie if that is possible?’
‘I am afraid he is out with His Lordship, sir. They have a shooting party this morning followed by lunch. Can I take a message?’
‘Yes, thank you. That would be great. If you could just tell Eddie I have arranged a tour of the theatre for him on Saturday, if that is convenient, and could he ring me as soon as possible and confirm.’
‘Of course I will do so, and thank you for your call, Mr Sinclair.’
The phone went down. Well, I have done all I can, thought Jeremy. It is now in the hands of the gods. Two more days to wait – and oh, the anticipation! He made his way back upstairs to the dressing room thinking to have a clear-up but also to look at Hamlet and start to accustom himself to the script. To his joy and delight he had been summoned to Giles Longfellow’s inner sanctum a few days ago and Giles had offered him the role of Laertes. Jeremy was over the moon and said so.
‘Thank you so much, sir. I am very excited about the production and will not let you down.’
Giles looked at Jeremy from across his huge mahogany desk, which was his pride and joy, and steepled his fingers under his chin. This was his favourite pose, denoting thoughtfulness and good nature, the all-giving master.
‘I hope not, Mr Sinclair. I hope not.’ He bestowed a smile upon his minion, and then turned to the papers on his desk. Jeremy had been dismissed.
He went back to the dressing room and did his usual clean around and collected dirty mugs. Bloody boys! He got his script and a couple of bits and pieces he would need at the weekend, then took the mugs up to the Green Room, where he tried to call Sally at her flat. There was no answer but as Jeremy came back down, they met mid-stair.
‘Hi, darling, what are you up to this morning?’ he greeted Sally. ‘I just tried to ring you to take you for an early lunch or brunch, what do you say?’
‘Actually, that would just hit the spot, Jeremy. Thank you. Can you wait while I dump this laundry back for Janie for ironing? Dora was supposed to do it last night but she had a visitor.’ Sally sounded fed up and weary.
‘Ooh, tell all,’ said Jeremy eagerly.
‘Wait till we are sitting down,’ said Sally and went on up to the wardrobe department with her bundle while Jeremy carried on down to the stage door to wait for her. Gladys was ensconced in her corner with her knitting as usual.
‘Morning, young sir. How are you doing, my son? You’ve had a bit of time off this last couple of weeks. That must have been nice for you.’
‘Yes, it was lovely, Gladys, and I will be off early Saturday too. I am waiting for Sally to take her to lunch as the poor girl will be working non-stop.’
‘Ready when you are. Hi, Gladys, we are going into town: do you want anything brought back?’ asked Sally.
‘Nah, you are all right. Enjoy your lunch. See you later.’
The pair set off down the hill to the town square.
‘Where shall we go?’ asked Sally.
‘I know,’ said Jeremy, looking very pleased with himself. ‘They have opened a lovely little café just off the square. It does amazing all-day breakfasts. Follow me.’
Once they had got sat down and Sally had ordered a ‘full English’, and Jeremy scrambled egg and smoked salmon – a real luxury – the pair attacked a pile of toast washed down with huge mugs of tea. Jeremy let Sally settle down before he asked, ‘So what’s the trouble?’
‘Why do you think there is trouble?’ replied Sally still munching her hot buttered toast.
‘Well, you look tired and stressed, which is understandable with these schedules, but getting to act in between is usually the sweetener – and you don’t seem very sweet, my love,’ noted Jeremy, sitting back as his food arrived.
There were a few moments’ silence while the plates were put on the table, and Sally took advantage of the time to try and get her thoughts in order.
‘When Dora came to stay with me it was partly for support, but also a way for her to discover new things she might like to do in the future if she abandons this idea of Business Studies. She was always very keen on design and fashion, and very good at drawing and art. It was her idea to try and get a job in the wardrobe department, which she did. But now she has decided she wants to be an actress.’ Sally took a big mouthful of bacon and sausage.