Fascination

by Anne Hampson

  She showered and slid between the cool white sheets, only to lie awake for several hours before falling into a short and fitful sleep. So she was not at her brightest when she went into the nursery to get the children ready for school the next morning. However, she did manage to hide her tiredness so that neither the children nor Carlos noticed anything unusual.

  At the breakfast table they chatted as was customary, but Carlos seemed in no mood either to listen or to participate, and Hydee breathed a sigh of relief when eventually she was able to say, ‘Come along, you two, it’s time you were moving.’

  ‘I wish it was a holiday,’ sighed Ramos. ‘How long is it to Christmas?’

  ‘About seven weeks,’ replied Hydee.

  ‘That’s a long time.’

  ‘You’ll be wearing bigger shoes by then,’ laughed his sister, with a saucy glance in her father’s direction, ‘so you’ll get more in the one you leave on the mantelpiece!’

  ‘Shoe . . . ?’ Hydee looked from one to the other, a bewildered expression on her face.

  ‘In Portugal we put a shoe on the mantelpiece at Christmas and we have our presents put in it.’

  ‘Some of our presents,’ submitted Luisa. ‘Only the little ones; the big ones are put in a bag and set on the hearth, aren’t they, Papa?’

  ‘Yes, that’s right.’ He was looking at his wife as he spoke. ‘It’s our custom to put our shoes out on Christmas Eve before we go to bed.’

  ‘That sounds an unusual and charming idea.’

  ‘It’s unusual to you, Hydee, but not to us; it’s what we’ve always been used to.’

  Later, Hydee went out for her driving lesson, and on her return she saw Arminda’s beautiful sleek limousine standing on the forecourt of the Palacio, and something froze within her. How dare the woman come here!

  Fury born of jealousy led Hydee to the salon, where she suspected Arminda would be. But as she reached the half-open door, she heard her name mentioned and stopped abruptly. It was Arminda’s mother, Dona Lucia, who was speaking, in English, much to Hydee’s surprise.

  ‘Arminda’s heartbroken, Carlos—but you don’t need me to tell you that. What is to come of this business? Why did you go to London, to be with her all that time, if you had no intention of doing something about this impetuous marriage of yours?’

  ‘You know why I was with her in London.’ Carlos paused, but the woman did not speak, and after a moment Carlos added, ‘Arminda wouldn’t have made a good and affectionate mother for my children. You must realise, Dona Lucia, that whatever my feelings are for Arminda, I must put my children’s happiness first.’

  ‘You say this about my daughter, implying that she’s hard and wouldn’t take to another woman’s children, but you have no proof, Carlos! You merely make an assumption. Well, I haven’t come here to spend time in that sort of argument or complaint; I have come to see what you intend to do about putting your mistake right. You’ll not deny you love Arminda, I hope?’

  An agonising pain struck at the nerves in Hydee’s head as she began to walk away, slowly, because her legs seemed to be leaden weights beneath her.

  ‘I can’t deny it, can I? But I had to make the sacrifice in order to ensure my children’s happiness, which, Dona Lucia, will always come before mine. . . .’

  Going to the telephone, Hydee rang Gasper. ‘I want to come out with you,’ she said dully. ‘Please come and fetch me.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’ began Gasper, but Hydee interrupted him.

  ‘Please come and fetch me,’ she begged. ‘I must get away.’

  ‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘In about half an hour.’

  ‘I’ll meet you along the road, by the ruins of the old monastery.’

  ‘I’ll be there,’ he promised, and the next moment there was silence on the line.

  Hydee wrote a note for Carlos, which she gave to Caterina. The girl was in Hydee’s room, returning some newly laundered dresses and blouses to her wardrobe, and Hydee sat down and penned the short note saying she was going out with Gasper and would not be in for lunch. Caterina looked at the name on the sealed envelope and then at her sadeyed mistress.

  ‘I will give it to him, Dona Hydee,’ she said gently. ‘You are going out?’

  ‘That’s right, Caterina. And as Dom Carlos is presently engaged, I can’t disturb him, so that’s the reason I am giving you the note.’ Aware of the girl’s intent gaze, Hydee turned away, going over to the wardrobe to pick out one of the pretty cotton dresses which Caterina had just hung there. Caterina was puzzled, mainly by the fact that Hydee had not given the note to Bento, who was the more obvious person to deliver it to his master. Caterina probably knew of Bento’s attitude towards his new mistress; he was civil, and that was about all. He often spoke in Portuguese and had to be corrected by Carlos, as he had once been corrected by Gasper. Hydee thought he would have used his own language all the time had he dared.

  ‘Will you be out when the children come from school?’ inquired Caterina respectfully. ‘If so, I will be sure to be here, even though today is one of my half-days off.’

  A thoughtful pause followed as Hydee tried to think how long she wished to be away. ‘I don’t want to upset any plans you’ve made, Caterina,’ she began.

  ‘You won’t be,’ the girl was swift to assure her. ‘You see, my Luiz is not off until tomorrow, so I’ll be on my own anyway.’

  ‘Luiz is off tomorrow, and you today? That’s not very convenient for you, Caterina. Why didn’t you ask me to change your free time to coincide with that of your fiancé?’

  ‘I would never have asked so much,’ returned Caterina, faintly horrified at the very idea.

  Hydee smiled and said, ‘I wouldn’t have considered it presumptuous, Caterina, not at all. In the future you must have your free time when Luiz has his. Let me know about the changes just so I won’t expect you to come at my call.’ Hydee’s voice was low and gracious, her smile friendly and sincere.

  ‘That is most kind and considerate of you, senhora. Both Luiz and I will be happier to have our free time together.’

  Hydee looked at the letter she had placed on the dressing table. ‘Give it to my husband after his visitor has left,’ she said.

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Caterina turned away as she spoke, and there was a strange huskiness in her voice as she added, ‘Do you want me to take the children when they come from school, senhora?’

  ‘I might be back, but if I’m not, then, yes, look to their tea, please, Caterina. And you’ll have your half-day tomorrow instead of today.’

  When the girl had left the room, Hydee changed quickly, brushed her hair and hurried from the Palacio via a stairway leading to a side door, then walked briskly along the drive to reach the main road just as Gasper was drawing his car onto the grass verge. She got in after a swift greeting and he drove off to find a place where he could turn the car around.

  ‘What’s happened?’ he inquired when they were on their way to his home. ‘I take it Carlos is back?’

  ‘Yes; he returned yesterday afternoon.’

  ‘And Isobella spilled the beans after all?’ Hydee heard him grit his teeth and was quick to tell him that as yet Isobella had not contacted her brother.

  ‘I don’t think she will tell him about us,’ she added. ‘You frightened her with your threat of retaliation.’ Hydee leant back against the soft leather upholstery and tried to relax.

  ‘She knew I meant it. Eunice wasn’t the only one who had things to hide—not that she managed to hide her indiscretions, but up till now Isobella has, probably because they’re not so numerous. Isobella has one lover, whereas Eunice . . .’ Gasper drew to the side of the narrow road as two cars, bumper to bumper, wanted to pass him. ‘What’s wrong, then, if it isn’t Isobella?’

  ‘Arminda’s mother’s there; she called while I was having my driving lesson. I . . . I heard a little of the conversation,’ she went on, flushing slightly at the admission. ‘It’s true that Carlos was with Arminda in London, and it’s als
o true that he’s in love with her.’ Hydee heard the angry indrawn breath taken by her companion and went on to relate all she had heard. ‘So you can imagine that I wanted to get away for a while in order to think things out,’ she added finally.

  ‘And you wanted comfort and a sympathetic ear,’ he observed.

  ‘That’s right. You promised to be my friend.’

  ‘I shall remain your friend as long as you need me,’ he said.

  ‘You’re very kind, Gasper.’

  ‘Kind?’ He slowed down to look at her profile, and she could not help but notice the tensed and grim set of his mouth and jaw, the nerve which throbbed in his cheek, it’s not kindness, Hydee,’ he said gently, ‘it’s love.’

  Chapter Twelve

  It was after five o’clock in the afternoon when Gasper drove up to the Palacio and dropped Hydee at the front door. ‘You’re sure you don’t want me to come in with you?’ he asked. ‘I will, you know. Carlos doesn’t frighten me.’

  Hydee shook her head, smiling faintly at him. ‘No, Gasper, I shall be all right. Carlos had better not say anything to me, because I’m not in the mood to be browbeaten.’ It had been a strange few hours she had spent with Gasper; her first reaction after he had shocked her with the simple but dramatic declaration that he was in love with her, had been to ask him to turn around and take her back to the Palacio. But she had hesitated because she was so desperately unhappy that she had no wish to go home just yet. And, as if divining her thoughts, Gasper quickly assured her that she had nothing to worry about; he would not molest her or worry her in any way at all. He knew he had no chance, for not only was she married, but she was in love with her husband.

  ‘I had to tell you,’ he said as they sat on the shady plant-filled terrace eating a lunch of stuffed squid and green salad, ‘because I believe perfect honesty is imperative in our relationship, Hydee. We have a lot in common, not the least of which is our intense and very excusable dislike for my family, which is also your husband’s family. They will never accept you, and as for me, well, I am the cross they have to bear, the black sheep. Don’t ever think I shall forget my place, Hydee. I consider it enough to be your gallant, your champion and protector in situations which could be ordeals for you, were you totally alone. You are not alone and never will be while I’m around.’ He had looked straight at her with unquestionable sincerity. ‘I want you to trust me, Hydee. Will you promise to do that always?’

  She nodded, too full of emotion at first to articulate words, but eventually she heard herself say, ‘Yes, Gasper, I promise.’

  ‘And if ever you should want me, as you wanted me today, don’t hesitate to let me know.’

  ‘I won’t.’ Again she had been emotionally affected to the point where speech was difficult. She had a true and trustworthy friend in Gasper, flirt and philanderer though he was with other women, and she meant to hold on to that friendship no matter what objections Carlos might make, or what criticism she might encounter from the rest of his family.

  She went slowly up the wide steps to the front door. It was locked, and as she had not brought her key with her, she had to use the ornate silver-gilt knocker. Bento came, his mouth a straight unsmiling line in his round masklike countenance, his critical eyes covertly examing her face.

  ‘Dom Carlos told me to say that he wishes to see you as soon as you come in, senhora,’ he said in an expressionless tone of voice. ‘He is in his study now.’

  ‘Thank you.’ She walked stiffly past him with head held high. Outwardly she was calm enough, but, as always when she was in any way disturbed, her stomach muscles were tying themselves into hard little knots.

  She tapped softly, heard a curt ‘Come in’ and entered, closing the door quietly behind her. Their eyes met across the room, Carlos’s glacier cold with anger, hers defiant but unnaturally bright for all that. He was standing with his back to the window, a towering, formidable figure, dark of countenance and arrogant of bearing. In the end it was Hydee who broke the silence.

  ‘You want to see me, Carlos? Bento gave me the message.’

  ‘The note you left . . .’ He thumbed towards the desk on which it lay, one edge fluttering, caught in the breeze from an overhead fan. ‘What exactly does it mean?’

  Hydee swallowed convulsively but her voice was steady and clear as she replied, a question in her gaze, ‘I should have thought it was plain enough, Carlos. Is something puzzling you?’

  His dark eyes glittered dangerously. She had seen him angry before, but never in such a temper as this; there was no doubt about his being furious now.

  ‘I advise you not to adopt that attitude with me,’ he said. ‘I demand to know why you went off for the day with Gasper.’

  ‘Demand?’ she repeated, playing for time and wondering why she had not rehearsed what she would say in answer to the questions he must inevitably ask. ‘I don’t care for that word, Carlos.’

  ‘Stop procrastinating,’ he thundered, taking a step towards her. ‘What was your reason for going out with Gasper—and staying out all day? Answer me at once!’

  The colour was slowly receding from her face because, despite what she had said to Gasper, she was afraid of her husband, and as fear always bred anger with Hydee, she shot out an answer which she immediately felt she might come to regret. ‘I went out with him because I overheard part of a conversation between you and Dona Lucia! I already knew you’d been with Arminda in London, and then this came on top! What did you expect me to do—stay here and fawn on you or something? I went where I was wanted—wanted, do you hear!’

  ‘I should imagine the entire household can hear,’ he answered, but he, too, was pale now—no, it was a ghastly grey that discoloured the gleaming tan of his face, and his eyes seemed almost stricken, deepening in their sockets.

  But it did not take long for his innate self-command to come to the fore, and when next he spoke, it was in a smooth urbane voice that effectively covered his previous discomposure. ‘So you overheard my conversation with Dona Lucia? Am I to take it that you deliberately listened at the door?’ Contempt was in his voice, but Hydee was shrewd enough to know that he was still a good deal put out by her revelation.

  ‘It was partly an accident, partly deliberate. You must remember that I already knew Arminda was with you in London. When I saw her car, I wanted to walk in on the two of you. . . .’ Hydee’s voice was defiant, challenging, her big eyes bright with anger and unshed tears. ‘I heard my name mentioned and naturally wanted to know what that woman was saying about me!’

  For a moment he remained silent, and then, on an indrawn breath that was something between a sigh and an expression of anger, he said, ‘It’s a pity we weren’t speaking in Portuguese.’

  ‘A great pity! However, you weren’t, and so I heard you admit to being in love with Arminda.’

  He seemed to flinch, but when he spoke it was to ask, ‘Who told you I was with Arminda in London?’

  ‘I’m not willing to say.’

  ‘It must have been Gasper; there isn’t much that goes on in our family that escapes his notice.’

  ‘It wasn’t Gasper—at least, he only verified what I’d already been told.’

  ‘Then someone else knew?’ He was plainly disturbed, and Hydee, in her present state of anger and with the desire to hit back, flashed at him with contempt, ‘I expect a great many people knew. A man in your position can’t carry on an affair without it giving rise to scandal.’ Carlos said nothing, but into the greyness of his face there crept a hint of crimson, evidence that he’d received a blow where it could hurt him most. He was a nobleman, highly respected, almost revered by his estate workers, and the thought of his name being bandied about must be an intolerable sting to his pride.

  ‘Who was it who told you about my being with Arminda in London?’ he asked again.

  Hydee paused, fully aware that if she said it was his sister then he would tackle her at once. Isobella’s response would be to reveal what she had seen between Hydee and Gasper, fo
r in her fury she would probably forget all about Gasper’s threatened reprisal.

  After a prolonged moment of indecision Hydee felt she had little to lose. It was time Carlos knew exactly what kind of mischief-maker Isobella was. ‘Your sister told me,’ she informed him tautly. ‘She called specifically to let me know that Arminda was in London.’

  Carlos stared, and it seemed an eternity before he spoke, isobella did a thing like that?’

  ‘I’ve already told you she doesn’t like me, and you know why she doesn’t. It was her wish that you would marry her friend Arminda, whom you love—and I can’t see why you didn’t marry her, because you could have engaged a nanny for the children—’

  ‘You already know that a nanny wasn’t the answer. My children needed something more; they needed a mother—’

  ‘And so you chose me!’ she cut in wrathfully. ‘You used me for your own unscrupulous ends! But if you’d no intention of giving Arminda up, why did you make love to me?’ Her eyes blazed; she waited for a reply, and when none came, she repeated her question. ‘You can’t answer,’ she added at once, her mouth curling with contempt, ‘because you don’t want to admit it was merely for convenience!’ As her eyes covered the length of his body in a roving glance of contempt, she saw his mouth compress, his hands clench at his sides. He was in a white-hot fury, but nothing could deter her now. ‘You’re the most despicable man I’ve ever known! To have a mistress—Oh, yes, that is in fact a delicate name for her, so you needn’t look at me like that! To have a mistress and yet make love to me was the act of a man totally without scruples, because you weren’t even being faithful to the woman you loved! You took me out of selfishness, for convenience—because Arminda wasn’t at hand. That was the reason, wasn’t it?’

  He met her gaze, black fury in his eyes. Hydee’s heart was already beating overtime, but now every nerve in her body rioted, for it almost seemed that he would do her physical injury. The very air was filled with the ghastly fury of them both, the deep silence broken only by the heavy ticking of the clock on the wall. Carlos’s lips moved convulsively; a nerve pulsated violently in his throat. Hydee had the impression that although gripped in the throes of an anger of violent proportions, he was fighting desperately to control the words that hovered on his lips. But as Hydee’s eyes again swept him with utter contempt in their depths, Carlos seemed to lose control and the words he uttered were the cruellest Hydee would ever hear in the whole of her life.