Defending Dani

by Kat Mizera

  5

  Sitting up late at night to work on her paper wasn’t Dani’s idea of fun, but this was the only time she had any peace and quiet. It was Friday, so she wasn’t working tomorrow and could stay up as late as she needed to. She’d immersed herself in schoolwork the last few days in order to avoid thinking about whether or not she would go to Colorado Springs in September, but it had backfired. She hadn’t gotten much done on her final paper and she hadn’t made a decision about hockey, either. At this point, she was second-guessing herself, her talent, her decision-making abilities, and almost everything about her life. She loved hockey, and playing on the Olympic team would be her last hurrah in the sport. By the same token, it worried her because not getting a medal would mean ending her career on a sour note.

  She jumped when there was movement behind her and turned to her brother in surprise, frowning. “What are you doing up?” she asked softly.

  Zakk sank into the chair beside her. “You haven’t been sleeping,” he said quietly. “Tiff said you’ve been quiet, keeping to yourself, and I’ve been too busy with the playoffs to really pay attention, but that ends now. Talk to me, Dani.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” She was purposely being obtuse but she still didn’t have any answers for what she knew what he wanted to talk about.

  “You know damn well what I want to talk about.”

  She clenched her teeth before blurting out, “Tell me what to do, Zakk.”

  He seemed momentarily confused. “I can’t make your decision, kiddo. I don’t know what you want.”

  “That’s the problem. I don’t know what I want either.”

  “Then name one thing you definitely do not want.”

  She met his gaze. “To end my hockey career as a loser.”

  “Like not medaling at the Olympics?”

  “Exactly.”

  “There are no guarantees in sports. You know that.”

  “I can guarantee I end my career as a college champion if I stop now.”

  “If that was enough for you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” He folded his arms across his chest. “What is it that’s got you so confused about this?”

  Dani sighed, impatiently tapping her finger on her laptop. “There’s no future for me in hockey. At least, not as a player, and I don’t know how much more I can sacrifice, how much more debt I can run up, how much more I can borrow from Mom and Dad, how much more you can give me… It’ll be almost six months of living in Colorado, running up more debt, living on the bare minimum. Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I’m tired of not being able to buy a new pair of jeans, not having money for a few drinks with friends, saying no to movies and concerts and everything fun. I’ve been a struggling college student for five years and I’m over it, Zakk.”

  “But I’ve offered…” His voice trailed off as she fixed him with a glare.

  “Don’t you see how demeaning that is for me? My rich, successful older brother paying for my pathetic little hockey dream?”

  “Jesus, Dani, that’s not how I feel,” he protested.

  “But it’s my reality. I’m not angry with you—this is how it goes for women in hockey—but I can’t let you keep taking care of me. It’s time for me to grow up and take care of myself.”

  “If that’s what you really want,” he said softly, “I understand and I’ll do whatever you ask of me. Just think about this: only a handful of people ever get the chance to represent their country in the Olympics. It’s special. It’s a dream I’ll never fulfill because I’m not willing to sacrifice my professional career for a gold medal. So you’d be doing it for both of us. Kind of the way I hope I represent you every time I get out on the ice.”

  She flushed, a wave of emotion barreling through her. “Zakk…”

  “Let me do this for you,” he said quietly. “I’m your big brother and I love you. I can afford it. I want to do it. I don’t care about the money if it makes you happy. It would make me happy to see you play at that level, but it only works if you let me help. If you’re going to do it, I want you to be comfortable. I want you to eat, sleep, and breathe hockey because all your bills are paid, and you can escape once in a while to go shopping or out to dinner or whatever girls like to do when they have free time… One last time, Dani. You and me, doing it together.”

  Tears spilled over and she swiped at them angrily. “Dammit, Zakk.”

  “Aw, don’t cry.” He hugged her tightly and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “Okay,” she whispered. “One last time. You and me bringing home a medal for the U.S.”

  “Gold,” he whispered back.

  She sniffed. “Nothing like putting on the pressure.”

  * * *

  Playing hockey the next morning, Dani felt lighter than she had in a long time. Between the talk with Zakk and finally making headway on her paper, she felt calmer about her decision. Though a tiny part of her still struggled with accepting more money from Zakk, it would be churlish to deny herself this opportunity out of misplaced pride. Zakk had the money and gave it freely, so why not do something she’d never forget? Win or lose, it would be the experience of a lifetime, and now that she’d allowed herself to go forward, she was excited about it. Even if their team didn’t win, her brother wouldn’t let her make a fool of herself, and they’d been working to prepare her for months.

  “Tessa needed the car and dropped me off, so would you mind giving me a ride home?” Sergei’s deep but well-modulated voice snapped Dani back to the present.

  She nodded. “Oh, sure. You ready?”

  They packed their things into her SUV and she turned it towards home.

  “You look good,” he said quietly. “You’re going to kick ass and take names come September.”

  She glanced over at him in surprise. “Thanks. It’s pretty scary, but I’m getting excited.”

  “You’ll move to Colorado Springs in September?”

  “Yes. There’s centralized living and practice starting in early September and going all the way until we leave for the Olympics. It’s pretty intense.”

  “Sounds like an amazing opportunity.”

  “I guess so.”

  “You don’t sound convinced,” he said in surprise.

  “It’s complicated,” she murmured.

  “I can’t think of any reason I’d turn down the opportunity to play in the Olympics, other than an injury or family emergency.”

  “You can afford it.” She shrugged. “It’s totally different for me.”

  “Zakk’s helping you, isn’t he?”

  She was glad she’d had to stop at a red light so she could turn and glare at him. “Is that how you do the things you want to do? By asking your brother to pay for them?”

  Sergei opened his mouth but nothing came out and he narrowed his eyes slightly. “I’ve obviously put my foot in my mouth again, but I’m not sure what I said.”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m a little defensive about it because what if Zakk couldn’t afford it? How would I do it then?”

  “How do other athletes do it?” he countered.

  “I don’t know,” she grumbled, “but I’m tired of being in debt. Tired of my brother paying for things for me. He bought me this SUV, he paid for me to stay in North Dakota to work on my master’s… Now he’s paying for this. I hate it. I’ll probably never be able to repay him.”

  “Why would you repay him? You’re family.”

  She snorted. “I’m sure you’d be perfectly okay letting Toli pay for everything while you follow a dream.”

  “You’re not sitting on the couch smoking weed all day,” Sergei protested. “You’re doing something exciting, something very few people are skilled enough to do, much less find the time and money. I wouldn’t hesitate for something like this.”

  “Well, I’ve made the decision and I’m doing it. I just feel a little guilty. It feels like I’ve been taking money from my family for too long.”

  “From what I
can tell, your family loves you and wants to do it.”

  She was quiet for a bit before opting to change the subject. “So, what do you think of Anchorage?”

  He didn’t say anything at first. “It’s okay.”

  “The city, the team, or everything?”

  “Everything,” he chuckled. “The team seems to be going through some growing pains. They haven’t found their footing as a new team the way the Sidewinders have.”

  “That’s to be expected. The Sidewinders have been a bit of an anomaly.”

  “For sure.”

  “What about everything else? The weather? Location? Nightlife?”

  “It’s beautiful, but I have no idea about nightlife. I pretty much played hockey and worked out. Period. I’m in an apartment with a month-to-month lease, with most of my personal belongings in storage. I haven’t got a clue where Niko will go to preschool, where we’re going to live, if I’m going to buy or rent or even where to start looking… I guess there’s a part of me that can’t believe I got traded to Alaska.”

  He let out a short laugh that made Dani snicker.

  “It does sound a little surreal.”

  “It’s a rough organization,” he said hesitantly. “I don’t want to bad-mouth the team that’s paying me the kind of money I’m making, but if you were my sister, I wouldn’t want you there on your own.”

  “I can take care of myself.” She smiled. “Trust me.”

  “I’m sure you can. It’s just… Well, you’re not my sister.”

  She snorted. “No, and I already have an overprotective big brother, so I don’t need another one.”

  “I’m sure you don’t.”

  6

  The next two weeks were busy. The Sidewinders had lost in the second round of the playoffs so Toli and their half-brother, Vlad, were both around. Spending time with his brothers and their wives and children was nice, but Sergei was starting to feel the itch to find his own space. He’d been in limbo since leaving Boston in late February and now that it was June he needed to start organizing his life. It would be hockey season again before he knew it and his first priority had to be a home and a schedule for Niko. He needed to find an agency that would give him options for a nanny because he had no doubt it would be difficult to find a good one. He’d been lucky in Boston since he and Tatiana had already employed a part-time nanny who’d been willing to go full-time. She couldn’t leave Boston, though, so he would be starting over.

  He wanted to stay with Toli, Tessa, and the kids, but it would only postpone the inevitable. Much as it pained him, he needed to head home in a few days. Anchorage might not be where he wanted to be, but it was where he had to be, and he’d make it work one way or another.

  His phone rang, startling him out of his dark thoughts, and he was surprised to see Aaron Ferrar’s name on the caller ID. Aaron was the starting goalie in Anchorage and they hadn’t really had a chance to get to know each other because Aaron had been out with a broken hand since Sergei had been traded there.

  “Hey, Aaron.” He wasn’t even sure how Aaron had gotten his number, though he assumed it was on the player information lists they all got.

  “Hey, Sergei. How’s it goin’?”

  “Pretty good. I’ve been in Vegas with my brother and family, soaking up the sunshine before I head back up north.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I was calling about.” Aaron paused. “I don’t know if you heard, but I’m in the middle of a divorce and trying to unload my house. Jake said you might be interested. It’s not too big, but not small, and doesn’t need any work. I’m not interested in making much profit; I just want out so I can give her half the money and move on.”

  “Oh, uh…” Sergei hadn’t been prepared for something like this.

  “No pressure, man. I thought I’d text you some pictures and stuff. It’s four bedrooms, three baths, with a basement I converted into a workout room and a hot tub in the screened-in porch.”

  He gave a few more details and when he told Sergei the price, Sergei was surprised again; he’d done some research and prices were a lot higher for the kind of space Aaron was talking about. “That’s all you want for it?”

  Aaron chuckled. “Like I said—the less I sell it for, the less she gets, and that’s all I care about.”

  “Doesn’t she have a say in the selling price and such?”

  Aaron took a breath. “She’s in prison awaiting trial and needs every penny she can get her hands on for legal fees.”

  “Oh.” Sergei was taken aback, but it occurred to him the details didn’t matter. If the house was relatively clean and passed inspection, what did he care what it looked like? He needed a place fast and this was a steal, even without looking at it.

  “If you’re not interested, it’s no problem. I just—”

  “No, I’m interested.” Sergei gave Toli a nod as he came into the room. “I’d just like to see some pictures, set up some kind of inspection.”

  “I can email you all the pictures I took and specs of the house. If you’re interested, you can hire someone to handle the details. I really don’t care as long as I can pay off the mortgage and walk away with what I put down on it. We’ve had it a little over two years.”

  “Send me the stuff and let’s talk again later,” Sergei said.

  After exchanging email addresses, they hung up and Sergei poured himself another cup of coffee as he filled Toli in on the conversation.

  “You’re just going to buy it sight unseen?” Toli asked.

  Sergei shrugged. “I’m going to see pictures and I’ll hire an inspector to head over there, but yeah, why not? Niko and I need a place right away and the price is definitely right.”

  “I guess as long as you have it inspected…”

  “I have to go, Toli.” Sergei gave his older brother a smile. “I love being here but I need to get Niko settled. I have to find a nanny, a preschool or a daycare… I have a lot to do. I sold almost all our furniture when I left Boston, so I don’t even own a bed anymore. I kept Niko’s stuff, and all our personal stuff, but I didn’t move furniture all the way to Alaska. It was just too overwhelming.”

  “I know, but I have an idea that might help not just you, but someone else we know as well.”

  “Oh?” Sergei looked up.

  “Why don’t you hire Dani to be Niko’s nanny for the rest of the summer, until she leaves for Colorado?”

  Sergei’s gut reaction was to say yes, but his brain kicked in a second later, making him shake his head. “Even if this was a good idea—and I don’t think it is—what’s in it for her?”

  “Change of scenery and she adores Niko. Why not let her take care of him while you get settled? She can probably help you set up a new house, she’d be tough on potential nannies since she’s attached to Niko, and, frankly, I think it would be good for both of you.”

  Sergei scowled. “Bro, if you’re trying to play matchmaker—”

  “What’s wrong with her?” Toli demanded. “Smart, beautiful, a nice girl—”

  “That’s the problem,” Sergei muttered. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend, and if she’s a nice girl, she’s looking for more than an occasional roll in the sack. Not to mention, she’s practically still a kid.”

  “She’s graduated from college.” Toli shook his head. “Don’t make excuses.”

  “She’s not my type.”

  Toli laughed. “Why? Because she’s tall, blond and probably smarter than you?”

  Sergei scowled; Toli had just described Tatiana as well as Dani.

  “Fine, maybe she’s not potential wife material, but she’s perfect nanny and friend material. She’ll help you, you’ll help her financially, and it’ll be good for both of you to step out of your comfort zones. Zakk says she doesn’t do much other than hockey.”

  Sergei tried to think of a protest but nothing reasonable came to mind. She was smart, capable, and in a perfect position to help him. She also knew Niko and the boy adored her, which was a plus. And damn i
f he didn’t want to be alone up there. If he didn’t have Niko, it would’ve been different. Sex and female companionship had never been a problem for him and there were plenty of guys on the team who went out drinking regularly. Though he tended to avoid that during hockey season, he allowed himself to let loose now and again. Having Niko meant one-night stands had to be minimal and drinking with the guys nonexistent. Which left him with nothing to do and no one to do it with. Not in Anchorage, anyway.

  “I can see the wheels turning a hundred miles per hour.” Toli chuckled. “What’s the hesitation?”

  “The truth?” Sergei eyed him.

  “Of course.”

  “She’s beautiful, young, and single. How would that look to people?”

  “You going to harm her in some way?”

  Sergei made a face. “Of course not.”

  “Then who cares? Zakk would take your word for it, and I know you better than that, so who else matters?”

  “Her reputation matters. If she’s going to be working for an NHL team in the future, living with me without being in a relationship might look bad if word got out.”

  “You’re both adults and she’s a strong, professional woman who’s perfectly capable of defending herself against any of that. Besides, if she’s really not your type, since you’ll have live-in help with Niko, you’re most likely going to be hittin’ the puck bunnies hard and that’ll stop any rumors about the two of you.”

  “Already did that in Boston. I’m over it.”

  “Really?” Toli’s eyebrows lifted, his eyes glinting mischievously. “Then you’re ready to find a nice woman to spend time with?”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “You’re already over one-night stands… What else is there? If you say abstaining, I’m going to punch you in the dick.”