Defending Dani

by Kat Mizera

  “Yes.” She nodded emphatically.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said against her mouth, his lips grazing hers softly. “Do you want me to wait so you can get used to how it feels?”

  She nodded, biting her lip against the obvious discomfort.

  He lay perfectly still, giving her time to breathe through the pain. He was fighting a thousand emotions, including an almost debilitating need to move, as he tried to remember what to do to make a woman’s first time more bearable. She was tighter than he remembered anyone ever being, and he took a long, steadying breath so he wouldn’t hurt her. She felt so damn good his cock was pulsing with the need for release, but he would wait until she was ready. Her eyes had closed, long pale lashes fluttering on her cheeks. He bent and kissed them, one chaste peck at a time, waiting for her to give him the signal she was ready.

  “Honey, talk to me. What do you want to do?” He waited until her eyes opened.

  “I want you to…make love to me. Like we agreed.” Her voice cracked a little but her gaze never wavered.

  “It’s going to be uncomfortable.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m so fucking hard for you, sweetheart. But I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” He shifted a tad, sliding out a tiny bit. She winced, but her eyes remained locked with his.

  “I’m okay. Really.”

  He moved a little more, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When she lifted her hips slightly, he carefully pulled back, watching her face. He slid back in, as gently as he could, and this time it was her lips seeking his. Their tongues tangled, and as the kisses got hotter and more sensual, he felt her getting aroused again, moisture gathering around his already straining cock.

  “Better?” he asked against her mouth, moving experimentally.

  “Yes.” She was trembling now, but there was an excitement in her eyes that nearly sent him over the edge.

  “Easy.” He started a slow rhythm, closing his eyes against the warm wetness enveloping him. He pulled out and carefully plunged deep again. She moved with him, a whimper escaping her.

  “Ohhh.” Her voice held wonder and an unmistakable curiosity.

  “Yeah?” He licked her lips before gripping her firm, round ass and pulling her tighter against him; she already wanted more and he prayed he would last long enough to give it to her.

  * * *

  Each stroke of his cock inside her left Dani fighting the unfamiliar sensations of a faint burning coupled with a distinct need for something more. She didn’t know how to tell him but the ache was almost more than she could bear.

  “Sergei, I need—”

  “I know.” He kissed her before sliding his finger between them and seeking out the throbbing little pearl she wanted him to touch. He stroked it erect as she arched up against him. “Like that?” he whispered, moving with purpose now that she was pulsing with desire.

  “Yes.” She clutched at him, fingers digging into his shoulders as the ache between her legs turned to liquid fire. Her aroused state coupled with his expert fingers left her oblivious to the soreness, chasing another orgasm like the one he’d given her earlier.

  With her hips meeting his, Sergei couldn’t hold back anymore. Though he kept his thrusts gentle, he was moving with ease now, sliding in and out to the sound of whimpered cries that had to be a combination of pain and pleasure. He kept his finger on her clit, rubbing it in perfect rhythm with the movement of his cock, and there was no better feeling than that of her tightening around him.

  “Sergei!” Her voice shuddered with frustration. “I don’t know what to do. It hurts but it feels good—I’m so confused!”

  “I know, baby, I’m sorry—next time will be better.”

  He kept his strokes smooth and easy, until Dani couldn’t tell what hurt and what felt good. She was impossibly aroused, but the pleasure was tempered with a throbbing soreness that wouldn’t relent. Her body moved of its own volition, bringing her right to the edge of ecstasy. Sergei picked up speed, his mouth fastened to hers, his body in complete control as she moved beneath him. He plunged into her one last time, the vibrations making them cry out together. His sheer bulk kept her pinned to the bed as the waves of their mutual orgasms drove them to the brink, barely able to breathe as they clutched each other.

  * * *

  Unable to move, with Sergei resting on her heavily, his lips still pressed to her neck, Dani wasn’t sure what to do.

  “You okay?” he whispered at last, his heartbeat getting back to normal.

  “I’m wonderful,” she whispered back. “Thank you for making my first time amazing.”

  “I wish you would have told me,” he said softly, his fingers curled in her hair. “I would have made sure you were ready… I feel bad I was so rough in the beginning.”

  “It was going to hurt no matter what. And the end made up for it.”

  “Yeah?” He nuzzled her shoulder, his eyes finding hers in the darkness.

  “Next time will be better, right?”

  “You’re probably going to be sore for a few days, so don’t go rushing into anything.” He cleared his throat slightly.

  She gazed at him, a slight frown creasing her brows as she watched his face. “Sergei, you don’t have to be uncomfortable. I don’t expect anything because we did this. I was ready to lose my virginity and I wanted it to be you.”

  He sighed and rubbed a hand down her arm, obviously struggling to articulate what he wanted to say. “I don’t want to hurt you, honey.” He stroked her cheek. “What you gave me tonight was a beautiful gift but—”

  “I’ll be moving to Colorado Springs soon, far away from you and our life this summer. Once I leave, you’ll never have to see me again.”

  He scowled. “That’s not what I said—I wouldn’t have slept with you at all if I never wanted to see you again. I just need you to understand that I can only give you sex and friendship—that’s why I wouldn’t have wanted to be your first. It usually evokes a lot of feelings I’m simply not capable of returning anymore.”

  “I’m not looking for anything.” She spoke the words though her entire being screamed something else.

  Neither of them seemed to know what else to say, so she was quiet when he rolled onto his back and pulled her onto his chest.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked finally. “Are you sore?”

  “A little,” she admitted.

  “Want to go sit in the tub with me? There’s a lot of blood.”

  “Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’ll throw everything in the washer.” He pulled her to her feet, hauling her against him as he paused to capture her mouth again. This wouldn’t end well, no matter how many times she told herself it didn’t mean anything, but she was powerless to move away.

  As he ran the bath and she did her best to clean up, the intimacy was tangible. Damn, she was going to fall hard. Everything about losing her virginity had been perfect. Despite the pain and discomfort, being that close to Sergei was unlike anything else she’d ever experienced. He was equal parts sexy and tender, as concerned about her pleasure as her safety, and it made her yearn for more.

  “Promise you’re okay?” he asked softly, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes.

  “Promise.” She gave him a sweet smile and stepped into the tub behind him.

  * * *

  Dani woke up first. It was early, and Sergei was snoring softly beside her. She took a moment to look at him, take in his gorgeous face, the beautiful torso that was bare for her enjoyment, even the long fingers that had brought her so much pleasure. God, she was an idiot of a girl, letting a man who didn’t return her feelings take her virginity. Now she was feeling weepy and sad, instead of reveling in the memories of last night.

  With a mental sigh of disgust, she slid out of bed as quietly as possible and hurried down the hall to her own room. She pulled on running shorts, a sports bra and a tank top before using the restroom and brushing her teeth
. After pulling her hair into a ponytail, she grabbed a pair of socks out of the drawer and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. She’d have a protein shake and then go for a run. She was sore and out of sorts, but that wouldn’t keep her from getting in a few miles.

  Memories of last night rushed back and forth across her mind like a DVD alternating between fast forward and rewind. She let out a huff, trying to clear her head. Breathing in deeply, she spread her arms, rested her hands on the edge of the counter and let her head fall forward. She desperately needed to let go of some of these overwhelming emotions or she would never be able to face him.

  Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and Sergei’s breath was warm against her ear as he whispered, “You’re so not okay.”

  “I am.” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep unexpected tears from falling.

  “You’re crying,” he said, gently turning her to face him. “Aw, baby, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not… You didn’t… I’m…” She burst into tears, burying her face in his shoulder, mortified to break down like this.

  “I hurt you, didn’t I?” he moaned, stroking her hair with one hand as the other circled her waist and kept her close to him.

  “No.” She tried to shake her head but was nestled too firmly against him. “It’s just… I never… And I thought… But it wasn’t…”

  “It wasn’t very good, I know.” He pressed light kisses to her temple. “But if you want to try again, it’ll be better. I promise.”

  She sniffled for a few minutes and finally broke free, reaching for a napkin to blow her nose.

  “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “All normal, hon. Losing your virginity is supposed to be a little emotional, a life-changing event you’ll never forget, full of romance and intimacy and love…and I didn’t give you any of that. I’m sure you have regrets and I wish—”

  “No, stop.” She put a finger on his lips. “That’s not what this is about.”

  “No?” He arched a brow, watching her intently. “Then what is it?”

  “It was…” She took a deep breath. She refused to lie, to make a mockery out of her first time. No matter what happened, she wanted to look back on this without regrets. “Wonderful. Everything about yesterday was wonderful. I felt beautiful—sexy even—and the way you got all jealous at the party made me excited, happy, like I finally found the right guy, the one who gets me, appreciates me in all the ways I need.” She took a shaky breath. “But this morning I realized it was all that stuff you talked about… The life-changing event, the romance, all of it. Except it’s not. You don’t love me. You’re not interested in romancing me or even dating me and I’m frustrated because I want more of all of it. The excitement, the sex…you. I want more of you, Sergei.”

  His mouth crashed onto hers with passion she hadn’t been expecting, but she opened to him greedily, anxious to take anything he was willing to give. Despite his rough movements, his kisses were tender, far gentler than she’d been expecting, and the sigh of pleasure that escaped her was almost inadvertent.

  He pulled away abruptly, his blue eyes dark with passion and a need that mirrored her own.

  “I want more of you, too,” he said softly. “But you need to know, if we’re going to keep sleeping together, you’re mine. I’m very much an alpha male and I won’t share while we’re together. I don’t do love, but I do possessive and faithful—as long as we’re doing this, you’re not to be with anyone else.”

  She glanced at him in confusion, a crease forming between her eyebrows. “But if we’re not in a relationship—”

  “We are,” he grunted. “It’s a sexual relationship, but as long as it lasts, you’re mine. No one touches you but me.”

  “You won’t make a commitment to me but I have to be faithful to you?” She folded her arms and took a step back. “Like hell!”

  16

  Sergei hadn’t battled feelings like this since college and didn’t know what to do about any of it, so he went with what worked. He pushed her against the wall, his lips finding hers again. Her mouth was lush and soft, so fucking sexy his dick was hard as stone. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and wrapped it around his hand as he kissed her, his mouth grinding against hers, lips and tongue punishing in their attack. To his surprise and delight, she didn’t hesitate to respond. Her mouth opened and her tongue met his fervently, one hand grabbing his left butt cheek and squeezing hard. He growled, a low rumble in his chest that let her know he liked it before pulling away.

  “Mine,” he grunted. “You gave me your cherry and I’ll be damned if I let another man have what’s only been touched by me before I’m ready to give it up. It’s not forever, but it’s definitely for now, and it’s exclusive—for both of us.”

  “But you said you don’t do relationships.”

  “I said I didn’t want to get married again. Not the same thing.”

  “O-okay.” Her eyes were wide and confused but the way she looked at him told him she wanted him. Now. Again. Even as uncomfortable as it had been for her. Damn if that didn’t make him even harder.

  “God, you’re fucking amazing,” he murmured, holding her close. “I’m going to show you a whole new world, baby. I’m hard and edgy in bed and going to spend the rest of the summer making you want things you never knew existed.”

  Her eyes were sparkling with excitement. “I like the sound of that,” she admitted, her breath a little raspy.

  He chuckled. “Hearing you say shit like that is hot as hell, but not yet, not today. You’re definitely sore and I want you to enjoy it next time. Okay?”

  She licked her lips and nodded. “Yes.”

  “I don’t think you have any idea what’s to come in the bedroom.”

  She nodded. “I haven’t done a lot of stuff, but I’ve read a lot and I want to experience it all. Everything.”

  “Yeah?” His eyes glittered as he wondered how far she would let him go. “You going to let me put my cock here?” He pressed his forefinger between her cheeks, right through the thin fabric of her shorts, and felt her jump.

  “I, um, I guess,” she whispered.

  He smiled, impressed with her openness. “When the time is right, you’ll really like it.”

  “Okay.” She swallowed hard but met his gaze without wavering.

  “Come on, let’s have breakfast and when Niko wakes up we can go to the gym together. You can’t want to get away from me already.” He tried to be playful, keeping his gaze warm so she wouldn’t see the lust burning up inside of him.

  “No.” She rested against him, her head falling on his shoulder.

  He wrapped his arms around her, content to have her close. Last night had thrown him for a loop. In retrospect, all the signs had been there, but she’d masked them with her sweet demeanor and fierce independence. She’d been so open about her insecurities it hadn’t occurred to him she was that innocent. Inexperienced yes, but not a virgin. He wasn’t angry about it—she’d wanted him and told him so. She hadn’t tried to back out or even asked him to stop when he was hurting her, so she’d been ready and willing to make love with him. He just didn’t understand why she’d wanted a man who didn’t have romantic feelings for her to be her first.

  He gently pushed her away, reaching down to take her chin in his fingers. “Will you tell me the truth about something?” he asked softly.

  “About what?” There she went blinking those green eyes at him.

  “Why me? Why would you want a broken shell of a man so much older than you to be your first?”

  “Because no one else ever appreciated me or made me feel sexy or made me want it so bad. That first day, when you yelled at me about Niko calling me Mama D, there was something so raw and masculine about you, I knew instantly you were the one.”

  “You knew you wanted me to be your first while I was being an asshole?” He quirked a smile at her.

  “Okay, I knew ins
tantly I wanted something because you made my heart beat faster, but by the time we got here to Alaska, I was already fantasizing about being with you.”

  “Shit, baby.” He slid his hands around her waist, a little disconcerted she’d felt about him exactly what he’d felt about her. Right from the beginning, no less. Now what was he going to do?

  “Look, it’s all good,” she said, turning to the counter and starting to make coffee. “There’s no reason we can’t enjoy the summer and each other while taking care of Niko and getting ready for hockey season. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  “At the very least.” He kissed the back of her neck.

  “We can have fun while I’m here and shake hands before I go, right?” She turned to look at him, whatever she was thinking masked behind inscrutable green eyes.

  “Is that what you want?”

  “It’s what we both want, right? Let’s not overthink it, okay? I appreciate your sensitivity about it being my first time, but I’m okay. I got a little overwhelmed this morning because I’ve never had a morning after before. Now that I know we’re okay, I won’t break down like that again.”

  Her eyes were practically pleading with him to agree, so he did, nodding easily and following her lead in starting to get breakfast ready. It didn’t sit well with him, though, and he wasn’t sure why. She was going out of her way to convince both of them that the loss of her virginity hadn’t changed anything, but he knew better. Those tears this morning hadn’t been because of mere discomfort; she’d been emotional, experiencing intense feelings that were new to her but for whatever reason didn’t want him to know it. Whether she was protecting him or herself, he couldn’t be sure, but later, when he had her in his bed again, he’d find out.

  * * *

  That afternoon they gave in to Niko’s repeated pleas and took him ice skating. Dani had taken him a couple of times in Las Vegas, along with Tiff’s twins and Toli’s stepdaughter, and Niko had been a natural. She’d tried to play it down since Sergei seemed to feel so guilty about not teaching him to skate, but it was obvious the moment they set him on the ice at the local rink. Sergei had a wool cap over his head and kept his head down to stay under the radar, but Niko took off like a bat out of hell.