[2016] Widowed and Pregnant

by Christian Michael

  The weeks passed and the air turned bitter cold. The Frigid North Dakota winds whipped all around the sod house, which kept its occupants quite warm. Cora was grateful for the lack of snow. This kept Ulrick working outdoors around the farm. The small house just wasn’t big enough for the secrets its owner brought with him.

  Cora found herself unable to resist the petite little Katherine. She reminded Cora of Ida as a toddler. The little girl won her over with her chubby little hugs, sweet face, and halo of blonde hair. There was no doubt about it, the child thrived under Cora’s care.

  Ulrick was a completely different story. After he had told Cora about Sarah and Katherine, he had taken his things and moved into the lean-to. He took his meals in the house with Cora and Katherine, barely acknowledging his new bride.

  He was affectionate towards Katherine. In fact, Cora had never seen a man so taken with his child. Even after a day of hard work, he never failed to sweep his young daughter up in his arms and rock her to sleep by the fire.

  Ulrick always thanked Cora for the meals that she prepared and the other things that she did around the farm. But they were far from the friendship that Cora had hoped to see evolve.

  ********

  After seeing the pained look on Cora’s face when he told her about Sarah and Katherine, it was easier to avoid her altogether than indulge in conversation. There was no need to take their relationship beyond a business level. They were and would always be, married in name only.

  If it weren’t for the fact that he needed a mother for Katherine, he’d have left long ago, headed west to Oregon where a man could just disappear.

  ********

  Every day at ten in the morning when Katherine was down for a nap, Cora would put together a snack and get a jug of fresh water to take out to Ulrick. She liked the break from her work in the house, as short as it was.

  The air was crisp and she wrapped her shawl around her more tightly. Already the cold cut through even her warmest clothes. So far, they’d had no snow, a rare occurrence this far north.

  As she scanned the barnyard, Cora sensed that something wasn’t right. Usually, she could hear Ulrick working with his tools, or talking softly to the animals. Today the only sound that greeted her was the sound of the wind.

  Trying not to panic, Cora set the jug and sandwich down and walked into the barn, as usual the stalls were immaculate, the animals groomed, and everything was in order. Where could he be?

  As Cora stepped out into the barnyard she suddenly recognized a crumpled form just outside the bullpen. The big bull had gored Ulrick in his left leg. From what Cora could tell, he’d crawled out of the bullpen to safety and collapsed.

  Rushing to him, she quickly checked his pulse and breathing, he was still alive. He had lost a lot of blood, though, his lips were blue and his skin had taken on a waxy look. Whether it was from the cold or loss of blood, Cora couldn’t tell. All she knew was that she needed to get the bleeding stopped and get him warmed up.

  Cora took her scarf from around her neck and, using a piece of her petticoat as a bandage, wrapped the scarf tightly around the bloody limb.

  What seemed like hours later, Cora finally drug Ulrick into the sod house. By this time, a very soggy Katerine was wailing at the top of her lungs. Cora changed her diaper and gave her a bottle of warm goat’s milk and sat her back in the crib.

  Turning to handle Ulrick’s wounds. she steeled herself for the worst. There was no choice but to cut the leg of his pants in order to get to the wound. The gash ran deep from the outer thigh to the knee. It seemed that the bull’s horn had completely penetrated the leg, tearing into muscle and sinew.

  Cora’s stomach roiled at the sight before her. She’d helped her mother treat minor cuts and wounds, but the mangled mess before her was too complicated for her to handle alone.

  There was no way to get word to Ma Witmer, over ten miles away. Antler didn’t have a doctor. Whether or not Ulrick lived or died depended on Cora’s care.

  She started out by gently washing the wound as thoroughly as she could. Dirt and debris were embedded inside. Blood mixed with soapy water as Cora did the best she could to clean the wound. Ulrick moaned in pain, came to briefly then passed out again because of the pain.

  After cleaning the wound, Cora steeped some burdock leaves that she had found in a cupboard while she was cleaning. Placing the hot leaves between two pieces of cheesecloth, she bound a poultice to the front and back of the leg.

  As Cora rocked Katherine beside the fire she prayed and begged God to spare the life of the man she had come to care about a great deal.

  ********

  A searing pain tore through Ulrick’s leg. He was vaguely aware of a cool hand on his brow, and a soft voice gently prodding him to drink a bitter tea. He heard Katherine’s cries alternating with baby babbling and laughter. But the dark world where there was no pain pulled him deeper.

  *********

  Cora’s days were marked with farm chores, caring for Katherine, and caring for Ulrick. Ulrick’s wounds began to heal and then, suddenly, his body was on fire with a fever. Cora sat up a long night, bathing him with cool cloths and administering white willow bark and catnip tea for fever and pain. Three times a day, she changed his dressings and applied poultices.

  The fever raged on for three days and nights. Ulrick mumbled incoherently and yelled and thrashed in pain as she tended to his angry, red wound. God, your Word says that by His stripes we are healed. Jesus already paid the price for Ulrick’s healing, I pray that you would touch him now and heal his leg. Katherine already lost her mother, she can’t lose her father.

  The morning of the third day a blizzard hit. Cora had to use the clothesline to find her way from the house to the barn. The icy snow cut her face and sifted through her clothes. Cora fed and watered the animals well and piled their stalls high with fresh sweet hay in case the storm worsened.

  She looped a rope around the Toggenburg’s neck. She couldn’t risk the milk goat going dry, Katherine needed her milk. She’d put the goat in the lean-to off of the kitchen so she could milk her easily.

  Struggling out the door with a goat on a rope, the pail full of feed, and half a bale of hay, Cora finally made it to the lean-to. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she realized that she’d forgotten that Ulrick had been sleeping out there. A pallet of blankets lay neatly folded on the bare earth, and a lantern hung in the corner. His clothing hung on makeshift hooks. A well-worn Bible sat on top of his pile of clothes.

  Cora tied the goat to the door and hastily moved Ulrick’s things into the sod house. It wasn’t right that a man should work as hard as he did and live in squalor. Not that he’d complained.

  While he may not be overly conversational, he was hardworking and cordial. His capacity to love was reflected in his treatment of Katherine. What would it be like to have the love of a man like him?

  ********

  Ulrick awoke to sear pain in his leg. The throbbing was bearable, but he had the sense to know that if he tried to move that he would plummet into the darkness again.

  He remembered going into the bullpen to fix a section of fencing that had been damaged by the massive creature. As he turned to leave the pen, his red bandanna waved from his pocket in the wind.

  That’s all it took for the bull to attack. He remembered the sound of hooves pounding against frozen earth, the feel of hot breath on his skin as the bull gored his leg and lifted him into the air like a rag doll.

  Impaled on the bull’s horn, his only thoughts were of Katherine, and surprisingly Cora. As the bull shook his massive head, he became unlodged from the massive horn and hit the ground, hard.

  Pure adrenaline shot through him as he clawed his way across the frozen ground and out of the bullpen. He could feel his blood cooling on his leg. He couldn’t walk. Yelling for help was futile, his voice was carried away on the howling wind.

  His last thoughts were a prayer for Katherine and Cora. He closed his eyes and prepared to join his Sar
ah as the darkness claimed him.

  He’d been vaguely aware of Cora’s presence the past few days. Cora tending to his wound. Cora feeding him broth and bitter medicinal teas. Her soft voice offering prayers for his healing as she bathed his body with cool cloths. While the intimacy of the act embarrassed him, Cora’s compassion and thoughtfulness were the main things on his mind as she walked into the house.

  Stopping first to check on Katherine, who was sound asleep on the trundle bed, Cora took off her snow driven wraps and stood by the fire. Her fingers and feet burned white hot in the warmth, she was merely chilled, not frostbitten.

  Cora settled into the chair near the fire and massaged her frozen feet. They were white, but not the sickening gray that accompanied frostbite. Pain surged through them as the blood flow returned.

  Cora leaned back in the chair, catching her breath. Battle weary from the storm, she but a kettle of water on to boil and decided to neaten up her hair that had been messed up by the relentless wind.

  As Cora sat by the fire, brushing the knots out of her raven hair, she was unaware that Ulrick had woken up and laid mesmerized by the sight before him mere feet away.

  “Are your feet frostbitten?” Ulrick’s voice was little more than a croak.

  Startled, Cora rushed to his side and quickly felt his forehead, the fever had broken. As his eyes met hers she felt an unfamiliar spark between them.

  Breaking his stare, she bustled off to make him some willow bark tea for the pain. Cora took a deep breath and realized that her cheeks were flushed from the exchange. She didn’t know what all of this was, all she knew was that she had to get a grip on herself. Ulrick wanted a housekeeper and a governess, not a wife.

  ********

  Ulrick slowly recovered as November faded into December. As he gained strength he resumed most of his former chores, lightening Cora’s load significantly. Their days were filled with hard work, and the evenings were filled with Katherine’ s laughter as the little one toddled around the room.

  The colder weather had the trio in close quarters. Ulrick now slept on a pallet by the fire at Cora’s insistence. The two settled into a companionable routine. They spoke of their childhoods, their dreams, and even the deaths of Cora’s parents and Sarah.

  Cora learned Ulrick’s favorite meals and prepared them as often as possible. After Ulrick realized that Cora was deathly afraid of mice, he made it a point to get a sleek farm cat from a neighboring farm.

  In the evenings, Ulrick began to read out loud from the well-worn Bible that Cora had found in the lean-to. The Bible had been a gift from his grandparents on him and Sarah’s wedding day. That was the first entry in the Bible, followed by the births of three angels who had never drawn breath on this earth. Katherine’s birth was joyously recorded, and along with that, Sarah’s death.

  The little family found comfort and strength in its pages. No one knew exactly how or why, but slowly things in the little house were changing.

  *******

  Two weeks before Christmas, Ulrick made the trip into Antler for supplies and to catch up on the latest news. He returned the following day with a homemade cutter full of provisions and a few Christmas treats for Katherine.

  Cora had been piecing a muffler together with yarn that she had brought along with her from Kentucky. She spent every spare second knitting until it was done and it was safely hidden in an old tin in the kitchen.

  Although the house was crowded, Cora insisted that Ulrick harvests a small tree, for Katherine’s sake. The next morning Ulrick lugged a snow laden tree into the sod house. The fragrance of pine mingled with the extra baking that Cora was doing for the upcoming holiday, creating a homey feel.

  As Cora strung popcorn to hang on the tree, she remembered how, in Christmases past, she and Ida had sat and done this very thing. She remembered falling asleep to the sound of her mother’s gentle voice and her father’s hearty laugh.

  How she longed to see them again. Knowing that she never would, on this earth, suddenly became too much to bear and the tears that she’d held in these past few months rolled down her cheeks in salty streams.

  Ulrick came back to the hearth after tucking Katherine into bed for the night. Cora’s sat in her chair, illuminated by the firelight. Although her hands never stopped working, he noticed that she’d been crying.

  All through these past few months, Ulrick had never heard her complain, let alone cry. It undid something to see her so broken. Gone was the tough facade, all that was left was raw, vulnerable, emotion.

  He quickly closed the distance between them and laid a hand on her arm. It was though all of the months of bravado peeled away as she turned to face him. Cora didn’t know how it happened, but she suddenly found herself in his arms, her tears wetting his shirt.

  Ulrick was taken by surprise when Cora nearly collapsed in his arms. He fought to stay rigid and in control of his emotions, but this felt so right. They’d both known unfathomable heartache and now God had brought them together. For those few minutes, Sarah was the farthest thing from his mind.

  ********

  The next morning dawned bright and sunny and bitterly cold. Neither Cora or Ulrick spoke of what had transpired the night before. Cora felt like a fool for throwing herself into the arm of a man who would never love her and Ulrick realized just how long it had been since Sarah had been on his mind.

  There was a tangible electricity in the air, and even though their days played out in the same manner that they always had, there was a change in the way they interacted with each other. Instead of Sarah’s face ever before him, Ulrick found himself thinking about Cora as he went about his work.

  ********

  The sound of sleigh bells rang through the frigid air. Who could be out in this weather?

  There was a knock at the door and Ulrick was greeted by his mother’s round smiling face.

  After warming up by the fire for a few minutes, Ulrick’s mother revealed the reason for her visit. Ulrick’s older brother had taken sick and was unable to do the chores at his mother’s farm. His mother had kept up with the chores as best as she could, but there was a bit of carpentry work to be done on the north barn door.

  It was decided that Lil would stay with Cora at Ulrick’s place and enjoy some time with her wee granddaughter while Ulrick took the sled back to his parent’s farm and did the necessary repairs. Ulrick would leave at first light and hopefully return three days later.

  ********

  Cora had dreaded having another woman encroaching in on her territory but soon found that Lil was too enraptured in Katherine to pay much mind to anything else. In fact, Lil’s tending to Katherine made it easier for Cora to get her chores done. The days passed quickly. Lil was a wonderful storyteller who didn’t hesitates to share tales of Ulrick’s childhood. Cora felt closer to him just listening to her.

  Lil took a deep breath and paused, clearly weighing her words before she said them, “Cora, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I was completely against my son sending away for a mail order bride from the get go, but I have to say that I haven’t seen him this happy or in love since he lost Sarah.”

  Cora couldn’t believe her ears. Surely, his mother knew that this was a marriage in name only, a sham really. Yes, Cora had feelings for Ulrick, but she’d made peace with the fact that they would never be returned.

  “Lil, you do know that our marriage is…. well.... more of a business arrangement than a love match, don’t you?”

  Lil crossed the room and looked her raven-haired daughter in law in the eye. “Cora, I’ve seen my son in love and I say he’s very deeply in love with you.”

  *******

  Two days after Ulrick’s mother left, it was Christmas. A blanket of glittering snow had fallen the night before and enveloped their little world in glittering white. The day seemed magical.

  After the morning chores and a hearty breakfast, Ulrick took down the worn Bible and began to read the Christmas story to his little family. It was as though
she was hearing the words for the first time as Cora listened to the familiar story. God Himself, becoming flesh and coming to earth as a helpless baby, all so He could make a way for the people He loved so dearly to go to Heaven for generations to come.

  Cora’s mind forwarded from the helpless infant in the manger to the Man on the cross. Once again, she was in awe of the love that her Savior had for her.

  Next, they gave sweet Katherine her gifts. Cora had remade her cloak into a small cloak and muffler for Katherine. She had embroidered red cardinals and holly berries all around the edge of the edges of the fabric. The little muffler was also adorned with the same design as the cloak, it was truly beautiful.

  Ulrick had made wooden blocks for her. He had saved bits and pieces of wood throughout the year and sanded them smooth. Katherine squealed with delight as Ulrick showed her how to build towers and houses and knock them down.