toad witch 04 - aunt tilly were canning demons

by Christiana Miller

  “Dummy, you opened the portal at your girlfriend’s house, but you didn’t close it, you just hosed it down. It’s like asking a burglar to leave, and then walking away and not locking the door. It doesn’t matter how many other neighborhood doors you open, he’s in your house. He won’t move on until he’s ready.” Gus said. “Or until someone like me comes in and actually closes your portal for you. You’re welcome.”

  “Too bad the demon got trapped on the wrong side,” I said. I turned to Silvio. “How did you even get in here? I know Mama Lua didn’t give you a key.”

  “She keeps a spare key for the cottage under the Yemaya statue on the back altar. I made a copy of it when I first started working here. Just in case. Sometimes I dabble in a little B&E, but she didn’t have anything worth stealing. She had another one for the store under the Alegba rock, but every time I tried to get near it, things would fall on me. I finally had to give it up when I got a concussion from one of the statues. Child Alegba is vicious. Don’t mess with him. He can kill you.”

  No wonder Mama Lua fired this guy. But the spare key situation was good to know. “That blood mix you’ve been painting Mama Lua’s wall with?” I asked. “Do you have it with you now?”

  Silvio nodded, looking miserable. “I just wanted to get Empusa out of our yard, and make her come here. Then I thought the priest could help me get rid of it. I mean, that’s what Catholic priests do, right? Exorcisms? But I guess not all of them.”

  “So you decided to use him as a tool to try and shut down the store?” Gus asked.

  “Why not? I mean, every weapon in my arsenal, right? I couldn’t tell him that I did it. And he was so easy to convince that Mama Lua was evil and this place had to be shut down.”

  “That doesn’t please me. I happen to like the store,” Vin said. “Do you know what happens to food, when it doesn’t please me?”

  Silvio looked like he was going to hyperventilate. Inside me, I could feel the baby move around, searching. Outside, the streetlights went dark.

  I looked at Vin. “Empusa’s on the move. Bring him,” I said, indicating Silvio.

  Vin slapped another piece of duct tape over Silvio’s mouth, then tossed Silvio over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and followed us out.

  FRANK WAS STILL HUDDLED on the sofa. There was so much tension surrounding him, he was practically crackling with electricity. Vin dropped Silvio down on the concrete in front of Frank.

  I winced. That had to hurt. I looked at Silvio, then at Frank, then at Vin, then back at Frank, who was looking even more terrified. “Frank, this is Silvio. He’s the idiot who intentionally called in the demon, to try and destroy this store. It strikes me that he should be the one who’s on the menu, not you.” I looked over at Pip. “Does Empusa hunt by smell or by sight?”

  Pip frowned. “By smell. Why?”

  I looked over at Gus. He nodded and I knew he was on the same wavelength.

  “Frank, are you wearing underwear?” Gus asked.

  Frank stiffened even more, if that was possible. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I’m wearing underwear.”

  “I thought it was a fair question,” Gus said. “I’m not.”

  “Frank, strip down to your skivvies. You and Silvio are going to swap clothes, so he smells like you. He just became our new bait.” I gave Silvio a cold smile.

  Silvio’s eyes widened and he tried to scream, but the duct tape held fast. Silvio stiffened and started thrashing, trying to get away. Vin pinched the back of his neck, hard, causing Silvio’s body to arch in pain.

  “Consider it justice, maggot. You’re going to reap what you sow.” Vin said.

  “Hey, on the bright side, we may get the demon canned before she eats you,” Gus offered.

  “Or not,” I said. “You may want to start praying.”

  “Okay, I think I’ll turn in. It’s been a long night.” Pip squeaked, distressed. “Hope you have your keys, because I’m going to lock the bedroom door. Tight.”

  I nodded. It was just as well to keep Pip out of the way for what was about to happen.

  Pip pulled me aside. “Please, take this torc off. I don’t want to be here anymore, especially if you all get eaten. I want to go home.”

  I nodded. “You’ve proven yourself a most worthy homunculus, Pip Squeak. I grant you your freedom,” I said, removing the torc.

  His sigh of relief was audible. As he was about to leave, I stopped him. “Why don’t you wait and take Frank to the bedroom with you? He needs a place to hide.”

  “No way!” yelled Pip. “If the demon doesn’t fall for your bait, she’ll be sniffing around for him. I don’t want his scent anywhere near me!” Pip took off, running for the bedroom unit as fast as he could.

  “We can hide Frank in the storeroom,” Gus suggested.

  I nodded. Frank stripped down, while Vin and Morte untied Silvio. Despite Silvio’s attempt to imitate a goldfish jumping out of its tank and flopping around on the floor, Vin and Morte were able to get him into Frank’s clothes, and dump him on the sofa while Gus stashed Frank, dressed in Silvio’s clothes, in the storeroom.

  “OPEN THE PORTAL TO EMPUSA HERE,” I instructed.

  Silvio shook his head.

  Vin stepped up, grabbed the front of Silvio’s shirt, and lifted him off the ground. Vin hissed at Silvio and his fangs shot out. “You’ll do what you’re told, food.”

  Silvio’s eyes widened and he nodded. Vin threw him on the sofa so hard, he bounced off and fell to the ground.

  “And don’t screw it up,” I said. “Because we’ll know.” I showed him the photo of the Empusa sigils on my phone.

  Silvio looked sick, but he nodded again, and started drawing the sigils. When he finished, the streetlights behind the store went out. The baby shifted into high gear inside of me, looking around.

  “She’s on her way,” I said. “It’s time.”

  Gus made sure our circles were intact. We had drawn a large double circle around Silvio and connected it to two, smaller double circles, so they all touched. The circles were bordered with various sigils. One of the smaller circles had a triangle inside it, with the lit, cursed, Empusa candle, the lit blessing candle, and the Anubis canopic jar. The larger circle had Silvio on the sofa, dressed as Frank. And the last circle had Empusa’s portal.

  Once Vin stepped away, Silvio promptly rolled off the sofa, onto the concrete, trying to scoot away.

  “I don’t know how many times he can hit that concrete before he gives himself a concussion, or breaks something,” I said.

  “I don’t know where he thinks he’s going,” said Vin. “He’s not going to be able to out-roll a demon.”

  “If he doesn’t stop, he’ll destroy the circle,” Gus said, bending down and stopping Silvio’s momentum. “Listen, idiot, we need to trap the demon. If you keep moving, you may very well erase any protection we can give you, and she’ll be free to do with you, what she wants. She’s probably going to start by eating you. You need to stop and cooperate with us, if you want to survive. Or we can sell your bones in the store. Your choice.”

  Silvio froze, and Vin picked him up and tossed him back on the sofa. Suddenly, there was a howl outside the back gate. My spine tingled and shot open, every vertebrae waking up. Between the sight from my spine, the sight from my third eye, and my actual sight, I felt like I could see all 360 degrees around me.

  Silvio was rocking and moaning in fear, tears coursing down his cheeks, as we took our places.

  “Ready?” Gus asked. We nodded. Gus took hold of his blackthorn staff, then stepped into the larger circle with Silvio and performed an intricate hand gesture in four directions, while humming the song Mama Lua had keyed the wards to.

  The wards dropped. We were exposed and defenseless.

  The demon leapt over the back gate and ran into the circle, snarling, its eyes glowing red, fixated on Silvio in Frank’s clothing. As she entered the circle with the portal, Gus hollered, “Now!”

  Gus, Vin, M
orte and I moved forward and used lancets to add drops of our blood to the circle and triangle construction. The circles and triangle shimmered and locked in place as the energy went upwards and became palpable. Vin, Morte and I formed a human triangle outside of the construction, using our voices in a wordless chant and swaying our bodies in a repetitive back-and-forth movement, to feed energy into Gus and the barriers.

  Gus raised the wards and Empusa screamed in pain. This time, when she tried to break out of the circle, she had no effect.

  Gus raised his blackthorn staff, directing it at her from the safety of the larger circle. “Empusa, I curse you,” he said, spitting on the ground. “Three times I curse you,” followed by two more spits.

  She screamed again. In the circle next to her, the cursing candle was burning at three times the speed of the blessing candle.

  “Empusa, I bind you. Three times I bind you in the threads of Fate.” He picked up three leather laces that he had soaked in holy water, and threw them at her, one at a time. “Skylla, na figyies appo touto to meros, ke mi na theis palli.”

  I sent up a quick prayer that Gus’s incantations worked better today than they had last time. The laces wrapped around Empusa’s body, burning through fur and flesh, causing her to shriek in agony, as she shrank.

  “Empusa, I banish you. Back through the portal, back into hell. Three times I banish you. Gythoura, piso sto apokato na pas.”

  Gus added a drop of his blood to Empusa’s portal, and slammed open the portal gate with his blackthorn staff. Underneath Empusa, the portal yawned, spinning widdershins, pulling her in. Then, Gus used his blackthorn to hit her hard with a blast of energy, pushing her further towards the portal. She screamed as she got sucked into the vortex.

  Gus slammed his blackthorn on the ground three times, chanting “Kleesehreh” and the portal swirled shut, looking like it was spinning out starlight in ever direction.

  Vin and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Guess we didn’t need you, after all,” Vin said, releasing Silvio from his bonds. Silvio ran, leaping over the smaller gate between the store and the cottage, and disappeared down the street.

  I was still on edge. There hadn’t been any of that relief that normally follows a finished ritual.

  “Have you noticed that we still don’t have any lights on?” Vin asked.

  Suddenly, we heard crashing inside the store. Inside me, the baby turned towards the sound.

  “Oh, shit! That bitch is still here,” I said.

  “How?” Gus asked. “There’s no open portals.”

  And then I remembered. “Silvio and Emily were in the store after the press conference, he disappeared for a bit, and when he popped back up, he looked really happy with himself. He must have created a portal, over by the cauldrons.”

  I grabbed the cursed candle and the blessed candle. Gus grabbed the Anubis canopic jar. And we ran to the store.

  “JUMPING JEHOSAPHAT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” screamed Aunt Tillie.

  Empusa raged in the aisle by the cauldrons, wreaking devastation as she thrashed, breaking everything that was breakable, and screaming whenever she touched iron.

  Gus, Vin, Morty and I formed a circle around her. I felt the baby move, dancing with anticipation, as Empusa turned and focused on me. Her flesh had peeled off in strips where the laces were still attached, and her fur was sooty and smoking. She snarled at me, her razor-sharp teeth showing.

  “Mara, get away from her,” Vin said.

  “I can’t. There’s nowhere I can go. I can’t beat her to the door.”

  Empusa charged. Vin, Morty and Gus ran at her, to try and tackle her, but she was faster. From inside me, I felt the baby reach up, and the next thing I knew, the baby had taken over control of my body.

  “Get back to Hell, you soulless, flesh-eating, pathetic bitch,” my voice said. My arm with the cursed jar candle went up, and flame-side first, I threw it at Empusa.

  It exploded in the demon’s face, shattering, and the demon’s energy dissipated, caught up in all the shards and metal pieces and thread in the cursed candle.

  Gus and Vin skidded to a stop, before they ran into each other, while the baby sent me images of what I needed to do next.

  “Get me the broom!” I yelled. “She’s in the shards. We need to can her.”

  Vin threw me the broom and dust pan. I caught them without thinking and swept up all the pieces of of the cursed candle. The glass, the wax, the thread, the pins, and put all of it into the brass, canopic jar. Brass, from the time of Solomon, had always been used to trap Otherworldly spirits for a reason. It worked.

  Gus closed the portal under the cauldron display table, so nothing else would come through.

  I used the white, blessed candle to form a sigil above the canopic jar to seal her in. “Empusa, you are cursed, bound and banished into this brass vessel, never to return” I said.

  The jar shook as she tried to free herself, but I kept going, repeating my command three times, while I used the wax from the white candle to seal the brass container closed.

  “As I will it, so mote it be,” I said.

  “So mote it be,” Gus, Morty and Vin echoed.

  I felt the dark magick of the night let go and dissipate into nothingness.

  I breathed a sign of relief. It was done. It was finally done.

  There was a knock at the door. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t need to. I knew who it was.

  “Let her in,” I said.

  Gus looked at me oddly, but went and unlocked the door.

  “Mama Lua!” he said.

  “Thank you, child,” she said, hugging him.

  “It’s about time you got back,” Gus said. “Everything okay?”

  “It is now.” Then, she looked at me, and it was as if she knew everything that had gone on. “Thank you. I’ll take it from here.”

  I walked over to her and handed Mama Lua the brass container. “Don’t let her out,” I said.

  “Not in this lifetime,” said Mama Lua. “I knew I could count on you two.”

  Aunt Tillie’s eyes sparked, shooting out flames, and I could tell she was ready to read Mama Lua the riot act. But Mama Lua turned to Aunt Tillie and cut her off at the pass.

  “Greetings, Tillie. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. My apologies for keeping you trapped here. Unfortunately, I had to leave, before I could show the young ones how to negotiate exceptions with my wards, or you would have been free to come and go as you pleased.”

  Aunt Tillie harrumphed, but the flames in her eyes got a little smaller.

  Mama Lua turned to Vin and Morte. “As always, a pleasure. But we need to discuss your young protege. My customers are not his feed lot. Next time he tries, I will show him just how horrible it can be, to be fed on.”

  Morte blushed and looked embarrassed. Vin grinned and took her hand, kissing it. “As always, a pleasure, Mama Lua. Welcome back.”

  She smiled at us. “Now, let’s get that man you have trapped in here, out of my storeroom.”

  “What about Pip Squeak?” I asked, suddenly remembering the little green guy.

  “The homunculus? When I dropped my luggage off at the cottage, I saw him ripping paper off the kitchen wall, muttering something about crazy humans and demons. He sent himself back through the portal.”

  I sighed in relief. I was going to miss the little guy, but at least he made it home safely.

  CHAPTER 15

  Saturday dawned clear and hot and sunny. Typical California weather. We went and settled up our account with Emily, for enough money to get back home, once I was allowed to fly again. The day went quickly and soon, we were heading towards evening.

  “Are you ready?” I asked Aunt Tillie, as I carried her skull out of the store and over to the SUV.

  “It’s finally my turn to have fun and I’m going to take full advantage of it. Let’s go!”

  Aunt Tillie had rhinestone sunglasses and a black sun hat on, with a pink, gauzy scarf wrapped around the
sun hat and then coiled around the base of her skull, where her neck would have been.

  Vin, Morte and Mama Lua had made us a custom platform, fitted to Aunt Tillie’s skull, so she could be strapped in, in the car, and still be high enough to see out. And when she wasn’t using it as a platform, it could be flipped around and transformed into a custom carrying case.

  “Did you know Elvis’s favorite colors were pink and black in the early days? Later it became blue and white. And, personally, I think gold. Did you know he recorded fifteen songs with the word blue in the title?”

  “No, Aunt Tillie, I didn’t,” I said, laughing as I strapped her into the back seat.

  “Come on, chop, chop,” Aunt Tillie said. “Let’s get a move on. We can talk on the way.”

  “Hold your horses, Tillie,” Gus said.

  Gus and Vin were loaded down with camping chairs, a cooler, a small folding table, a backpack with pillows and another backpack with blankets, flashlights and jackets.

  “You have no idea how difficult it’s been for me to be trapped inside this store,” Aunt Tillie said. “Tonight is the entire reason I wanted to join you on this trip. We can’t be late.”

  Gus rolled his eyes. After they transferred the supplies to the trunk, Gus asked Vin. “So, how are you getting there? Riding with us? Turning into a bat and flying?”

  Vin laughed. “I’ll let you know when I master that. I’ll ride. I have my Energica here. It’s my second fastest electric motorcycle.”

  He brought it over and we all looked at his motorcycle. It was impressive, all futuristic angular lines.

  “My fastest one, Lightning, would blow you all out of the water. Top speed is 215. I save that one for racing though.”

  Gus sighed. “You race motorcycles? Can you get any cooler? Seriously, if you decide to bat for my team, look me up. I have a serious man crush on you.”