Lyfe Changing

by Desirae Williams

  Julio’s place was torpedoed by cops commanding everybody to get down. Without even looking up I knew a SWAT team or somebody must have burst through Julio’s doors. Footsteps ran through the area like a stampeded of bulls. “NYPD don’t anybody move…” I heard the officer say. Julio stepped back and froze. “Shit…” “I want everybody down on the ground now…hands and feet spread…do it.” As everyone laid out on the floor I felt handcuffs being slapped on my wrist as one of the officers pulled me up. I stood face to face with Detective Trent. “Well Derrick what have you got yourself into now huh?” he asked shaking his head. I shrugged. “Just a little house party with some friends.” He smiled at my sharp come back. “Well where you’re going now you will be having a lot of house parties with friends on cell block D…put him in my car.” He commanded the officer. I reluctantly began to make my way outside but not without getting a look back at Destiny. From what I saw the paramedics where helping her up and seeing if she was ok. Has her eyes fell on me, we both wondered at that moment would we ever see each other again.

  I sat in the interrogation room of the NYPD police station feeling somewhat glad. My attempts to save Destiny had come through and I even made it out with my own life. But even with the best intentions at heart I still landed myself back in a place I didn’t want to be…jail. I had no choice but to wait patiently as the oppressor came in bringing me my life sentence but to my surprise I had an unexpected visitor. As Pastor Wallace made his way into the small room I couldn’t hide the look of shock on my face as he appeared. There was a twinge of disappointment as he sat down across from me causing me to hang my head down. “I guess I really messed up this time huh?” I said finally breaking the silence. Pastor Wallace still didn’t say anything just looked at me with that disappointed father look. But for the first time in my life I didn’t feel guilty or wrong for what I did…if anything I was proud. “Listen I know I didn’t go about this the best way…but I regret nothing…I was willing to risk my life for the woman I love…just to see if she could possibly make it out alive…and I do it again…”

  I told him boldly and without regret. Pastor still remained silent. I sighed and shook my head. “I guess I turned out to be a big disappointment after all huh?” Pastor Wallace chuckled. “Derrick…if I really thought that I wouldn’t even be here….” I picked my head up and looked at him not expecting that reply. “I totally commend you for doing what you thought was right…I just wish would have weighed out all your options before you reacted…had you done that maybe we wouldn’t even be here right now.” I shrugged. “I know…I know…but I guess it’s too late for shoulda, woulda, coulda…” Pastor leaned back and smiled. “Is it?”

  I looked at him confused but didn’t have time to reply due to Detective Trent entering the room. “Well Derrick…it didn’t even take you a year to end up back in jail huh?” I sighed not really in the mood to hear his mockery tonight. “I guess not…” Detective Trent eyed me suspiciously as if he was trying to read my mind. “So what happens now Derrick?” “Let me guess the cell block D…” I said matching his sarcasm. He chuckled a bit. “Possibly…but not tonight…” I looked at him in shock. “What? What are you talking about?” He looked to Pastor Wallace to further explain. “Well as the good Lord may have it…their letting you go.” I sat back in my chair not believing what I was hearing. “Really…even with the gun and everything?” “What gun…” Detective Trent said as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. I stared at Pastor Wallace he had a bright smile on his face. “How did you it?” I asked him still in amazement. He took my hands into his. “Let’s just say the Lord works in mysterious ways.

  Destiny

  “It’s alright miss…everything is going to be ok.” The nurse informed as I uneasily lay in my hospital bed. This was the night from hell and I couldn’t believe it had even happened. In the matter of minutes I had been kidnapped, assaulted, and in the middle of a gun fight. But by the grace of God I made it out…we all had made it out. Derrick was permanently ingrained in my mind for the remainder of the night. I constantly thought about how he had come to my rescue and was even willingly to put his own life in jeopardy for mine. I needed him to be here with me more than ever now. But when then cops took him away there was fear in his eyes…that said he may not come back this time.

  I looked to the nurse who was about to make her exit until I stopped her. “May I borrow a phone please?” I asked the nurse. She looked at me sadly before answering. “Miss you really need your rest now…just try to relax.” I shook my head. “No I need to talk to somebody…I need to make sure he is all right.” I slowly sat up. The nurse put a hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down. “Miss please….” She begged. Seeing that I was not going to get my way I figured I would just have to take matters into my own hands, so I attempted to leave my hospital bed. “Miss please…stop…” “Let me go…” I yelled.

  As I lifted my head up and saw Derrick walking toward me all my worries were pushed outside. A weak smile spread across my face as he entered the room. He looked at me and smiled while shaking his head. “It’s alright Nurse Joy…I’ll make sure she gets back to bed.” Nurse Joy sighed and left me in Derrick’s hands. He helped me back in bed and without hesitation embraced me tightly and passionately. I couldn’t help the joyful tears that escaped my eyes. “How did you get here? What happened?” I asked in shock that he was actually here beside me. Derrick put his index finger to my lips to shush me… “Calm down baby.” “I really needed you Derrick…” I softly whispered to him. “Well I’m here now…I’m here now.”

  Derrick continued to hold me in fear that if we let each other go we would never embraces like this again. After a while Derrick laid next to me in my hospital bed and explained how the cops arrested Julio and how Pastor Wallace went to his friends at the police station and ended up saving our lives. I was so glad to hear that, figuring after all this drama Derrick and I could now have a fresh start together…or so I thought. Derrick looked down at my hospital bed and I could tell something was wrong. I lifted his face up to mine. “What’s the problem?” I asked him not understanding his somberness. Derrick weakly smiled at me fighting what he really wanted to say but ultimately came clean. He grabbed my hands and kissed them softly. “Destiny, I love you…I love so much…I have never felt this way about any woman in my life…” Derrick was choking up a bit which was scaring me knowing he was never a man to show emotion. “When I found out that psycho kidnapped you I damn near lost it…I was scared.”

  I chuckled lightly to lift the mood. “You were scared?” Derrick nodded. “Yeah…you must have been petrified huh? I guess that’s just the cons of messing with a deadbeat convict.” “Derrick don’t say that…” I scolded him, hurt that he would degrade himself like that. He looked at me sadly. “It’s true…your life has been nothing but misery since I have been around…and now this?” Derrick stood up and paced the hospital floors disappointed. I watched him clearly upset and not knowing how to comfort him…hell I still needed to be comforted.

  “Derrick you didn’t make that freak kidnap me…” He looked at me in disbelief. “C’mon Destiny…the only reason he took you was because he knew I would come for you…he used you as a pawn to get to me…he almost.” Derrick stopped himself, not wanting to say what Julio almost did to me. I lowered my head not wanting to look at him.

  “Destiny you were right… all this time you were right…I’m no good.” “Derrick I didn’t mean that.”

  I pleaded to him crying not wanting see were this conversation was going. He turned to look to me and shook its head. “Doesn’t matter…I’m never going to be able to give to you what you deserve…I’m never going to be able to do anything for you but keep you out of my life…I gotta let you go.” I buried my face into my hands at the sound of those words which were breaking my heart. Derrick attempted to comfort me but decided against it. Derrick headed for the door but not before taking one last look back. “I love you Destiny…don’t forget t
hat.” I couldn’t help the despair I felt…that the man I wanted so desperately had left me…and I feared it was for good this time.

  22

  Don’t know what you had…

  Destiny

  “Destiny…I’m really sorry that this happened girl…” Cat said patting my shoulder. It had been two weeks since the kidnapping, since the showdown at Julio’s house, and since Derrick told me it was over. The girls had been stuck to my side like glue ever since, getting the low down on the worst experiences of my life. They had said prayers, rented man hating movies, bought comforting ice cream and cookies, and now were trying their attempt at words of wisdom. None of the above had seemed to be working.

  “Yes Destiny…were all glad you’re safe and ok…” Lucy looked at me sorrowfully. I turned my gaze from the window to her. “Am I?” They all sighed and shook their head. Alayah tired of avoiding the obvious decided to get down to the root of my despair. “Destiny honey you have been through a lot right now…mentally, physically, spiritually…I’m sorry but Derrick is the last person you need to be thinking about.” No one cosigned with her but by the looks on their faces I knew that they were in agreement. I chuckled in disbelief and shook my head, saddened that my friends couldn’t understand my pain. “Destiny were not trying to come down on you…we just think you need to refocus a bit.”

  Meg said seeing my discomfort to their disapproval of Derrick. I took a deep breath trying to fight the swelling tears in my eyes. “Focus…How can I focus when the man I love told me it was over?” Cat grabbed my hands into hers trying to get through to my thick skull. “Destiny Derrick loves you…we all know this...when he broke up with you he did it to protect you and damn it I don’t blame him.” I shot her a hurt look and snatched my hands away. “What are you saying?” Cat sighed and looked at me pitifully. “I’m saying that your life has been a circus since Derrick has been around…from church drama to the charity ball drama and now this…I don’t know…maybe he did you both a favor.” “You have to admit things have been crazy lately…” Lucy chimed in. “Yes…” Alayah nodded.

  “…Kid napping crazy.” I shook my head not wanting to believe what I was hearing. I love Derrick, we may have had our ups and downs, but in the end we still came together. I know how I feel and nobody could tell me different. Not wanting to listen to any more of this I took a deep breath and made sure I had their full attention. “Ok listen here…I am fully aware of what I have been through these past year…and I don’t deny that it has been crazy but I know one thing and one thing only…ever since this man has come into my life I have never felt more complete…I see you girls with your husbands and boyfriends and that hit by cupid look on your faces and I think to myself I am never going to feel that way…until now.” The tears were falling now and I didn’t care, I wanted them to hear me and hear me good.

  “When I was kidnapped that was the greatest fear I had ever felt in my life but Derrick came to save me, he was willing to die for me and I can’t, I won’t forget that….I love him…that’s all I know…and that’s all that matters.” The girls were all damn near tears at my admission of love for Derrick knowing that this was the first time I had ever expressed such strong feelings for a man before. After calming breath Alayah spoke up. “Well I guess she told us…” we all couldn’t help roar into full on laughter but I still felt the heartache from missing the man I loved.

  Derrick

  “Amen...Amen…Glory this morning…” Pastor Wallace said as he entered up onto the pulpit. Today was the day that the expansion of the church was to be shown to the whole congregation and a big dinner was going to be held after service. All of the boys from the working crew were there with their parents to show them the payoff of their hard work. I sat beside my grandmother while she wore her Sunday best dress looking lovely in a pink matching church hat as we got ready for the word. As expected Pastor Wallace wore his famous canary yellow suit and a big grin on his medium brown face.

  “What a glorious morning it is saints…praise the Lord…” “Praise the Lord…” the congregation repeated. I sat back taking everything all in, with all the hell that I had been going on this past year, it was finally a relief to experience some peace. “You know saints I found out something this Sunday…The Lord works in mysterious ways…when we least expect it there he is…just when you think it’s over the Lord says no not yet…” The crowds cheered and amend while the Pastor went on. “Saints how long is it going to take…before we realize we can trust God? How long will it take before we realize that all power…. All power …is in his hands.”

  The crowd cheered while Pastor Wallace eyes focused in on me. As the sermon came to a close everyone was preparing to see the reveal of the expansion of the church. That was until I saw Clay grab the mic from the pulpit and spoke to the congregation. “May I have every body’s attention please…?” As the crowd began settle down I looked on in disbelief that Clay was actually going to speak up. He was very dressed up for the occasion in a blue button up shirt and badge dress pants, a total difference from his regular t-shirt and jeans. “I hope everybody enjoyed service today…Pastor Wallace was killing in that suit.” The crowd chuckled and I did too. Clay was so nervous I could tell he was shaking…I felt like I was a nervous parent watching their child perform at a talent show.

  “For all of you guys that don’t know, me and couple of guys in this congregation got ourselves into a lot of trouble…and because of that we were assigned to work at the church for community hours…at first I thought this was going to be a tortuous experience…tiling and roofing with talks of hellfire and damnation.” The crowd laughed again as Clay went on. “But it wasn’t like that…Pastor Wallace reached out to us…he encouraged us more than any teacher or counselor I had ever met…he told us to believe in ourselves…to believe in God…and I will forever be grateful to him for that.” Everyone clapped as this young man poured his heart out to the crowd of on lookers. “The guys and I had bonded in ways you couldn’t even imagine…we formed an unbreakable brotherhood…but we couldn’t have formed that without the man who really brought us together…our big brother…Brother Derrick.”

  My jaw hit the floor as Clay said my name and everyone turned around and looked at me. All the guys from the crew stood up and clapped like they were at a football game. My grandmother patted my shoulder in admiration. I weakly smiled at everyone and just hoped that the embarrassment would fade. “When Derrick came on board on the team I have to admit we all were a little intimidated…I mean dang the dude is big.”

  Everyone giggled, even me as I listened to this young man show is respect for me. “But after a while he became the biggest influence to us all…he was mentor…a friend…our brother…and the mastermind behind all the construction that was going on…anyway all I’m trying to say is that Derrick was a big part of this church expansion…without him none of this would have happen, so if we could just give him another round applause for him that would be great.” As the crowd roared I could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment but unfortunately this public torture didn’t stop there when Pastor Wallace decided to take the mic. “Amen…amen…Brother Derrick I say you get on up here boy and say a little something c’mon.”

  My grandmother was grabbing my arm to pull me up to go up there to speak, but like cement pavement I wouldn’t budge. “No…no…I’m fine…” I said shaking my head. Pastor Wallace continued to press on. “C’mon now boy say a little something to the saints.” The congregations continued to applaud and encourage me to go up to the mic, even the boys were egging me on. Oh God why…I thought shaking my head. I reluctantly got up and made my way to the front, Clay stood by my side patting my back to encourage me.

  “Well good evening everybody…” I said nervously. They all replied, “Good evening…” I took another deep breath before speaking. “Well I’m glad to be here today…things haven’t been too easy for me lately but with the help of Pastor Wallace and these wonderful boys here I feel a sense of hope t
hat life will get better…Now I’m not one for long winded speeches but I want say one thing. I thank God for bringing so many good people into my life…” After everybody cheered and awed they all came up and embraced me as we all got ready to see the rest of the church.

  “Alright everyone…walk this way so we can all see the dining area and building space.” The coordinator said as the congregation eased on back. Out of nowhere my grandmother appeared hugging me and kissing my cheek. “I’m so proud of you baby…” I grabbed her frail body and smiled.

  “Thanks grandma…” She quickly wiped away faint tears. “I’m serious Derrick…you have changed your life so much and I just want you to know I love you very much…” She hugged me again, and then had to sneak away as her fellow church ladies called for her to come over. I heard a familiar laugh coming my way and a huge grin spread across my face. “Well what’s up boss…” little Luther said coming up and patting me on the back. “Nothing much…how you been little man…”

  I said rubbing his freshly cut hair. Little Luther had a glow about him today that was different from normal. “Oh I have been good…I’m living with my grandmother now…she taking good care of me, got me going to school and everything…” “Well that’s good to hear…I’m proud of you…” I nodded. “Thanks man…I just wanted to come up here and say good looking out for me and the guys on this church project and everything…you have been real good to us even when you didn’t have to…” Little Luther said patting my arm. I didn’t understand why these guys were praising me so much…to be honest they changed my life just as much as I changed theirs. “Don’t even worry about it boy…you just keep going to school and making them good grades ok?” Little Luther nodded with his little silly grin and returned to grandmothers side.