by Karen Baker
The evening seemed to be going smoothly. The girls had made Dakota feel like a family member, suggesting that she fit right in, like an old shoe. Should she be offended? No, it was just their way of letting her know she was welcomed, cared for, and accepted. This was a new experience. She didn’t know what family love felt like. If this was family love, then she was comfortable.
It was late, around one a.m., when the girls and their partners left. Beth and Dakota fell into their routine of cleaning up. They were looking for the last remaining wine glass. They both spotted it and reached for it at the same time. Their fingers brushed together. Dakota held Beth’s hand for what seemed like a lifetime. Then Dakota grabbed Beth and pulled her close, dropping the empty wine glass onto the carpet. “We really need to talk,” Dakota said, her voice low and husky. “We need to talk…about the beast…between us.”
“Dakota, there is no beast between us.” Beth tried to pull away but Dakota held her tight.
Dakota brushed Beth’s face gently with her fingertips. “Yes, yes there is. I need to talk to you. I need to tell you.”
With worry in her voice, Beth said, “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Are you sick? Are the voices causing more problems tonight than usual? Dakota, please, talk to me.”
She stared into Beth’s eyes. Finally, “Beth, you’re all I think about. I think…I know…I’m falling in love with you, and I don’t know what to do with all these feelings. I need to know how you feel about me. I can’t be ‘just friends’ with you any more. I…I love you…and I don’t want to hurt you or me, but something is going to have to give with this relationship. Unfortunately, I think that something is going to be me.”
Beth reached up and grasped Dakota’s fingers with her own, brought them to her lips, and gently kissed them. “Oh, God, Dakota. What are we going to do?”
Dakota’s knees buckled. This was not quite the response she was expecting. ‘What were you expecting? A confession of love? From another human being? No one loves you but us. Besides, she’s too good for you! Run while you can.’
“I love you, too.” Beth said softly.
Stunned, Dakota stumbled back from Beth a little, “What…what did you just say?”
“Dakota, I love you,” Beth gasped. “I have since the very first night we met. You literally stole my heart that night. Everything about you, from that moment on, has been about getting to know you better. I thought I was the only one that felt that way. I was afraid that you were going to push me away. These feelings are new to me, that is, feelings for another woman. It’s taken me a while to process them, but I need you,” Beth said, pulling Dakota closer, her palm to Dakota’s heart. “I want you in my life. I’m so very much in love with you, it hurts. So much, that I’m willing to take whatever you offer. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make you feel my love. Please believe me.”
Slowly, Dakota pulled herself back up to Beth, their hands still entwined. “I do believe you, Beth. Oh, how I believe you.”
Beth took a deep breath, steadying herself for what was about to happen. Their lips brushed ever so lightly. “Oh, God, Dakota,” Beth gasped, not believing they were finally kissing. Dakota’s lips met Beth’s once again. Slow, tender, wet, passionate kisses. Tongues slowly finding one another, melding together, as though they had known each other their entire lives. Dakota pushed Beth up against the wall, stretching Beth’s hands above her head. She leaned into Beth and placed smoldering, hot kisses at the nape of her neck.
Beth shuddered, took a deep breath, “Is this really happening?” Dakota was kissing her, this is what she wanted, what she had been waiting for.
“Yes, sweetheart, it’s really happening.”
Dakota’s hand traveled down Beth’s body, and tenderly swept across Beth’s breast. Beth gasped. “Oh, Dakota, touch me like that again, please?”
She placed her hand on Beth’s breast, gently stroking it with care. Dakota sighed, “I knew it was going to be this way with you, love.” Their kisses deepened. “Lead me to your bedroom, Beth.”
Beth never let go of the kiss as they made their way to her bedroom. “Let me love you, Beth. I need to make love to you, right now. Let me touch you the way a woman touches her lover.”
“Oh, God, yes, Dakota. Love me,” Beth commanded.
Dakota eased Beth onto the king size bed. “We’ll go as slow as you want or need, okay?”
Beth just nodded. Dakota slipped her lanky figure between Beth’s legs and pressed down, focusing her attention on the center of Beth’s rising hips. She thrust her body into Beth, and Beth moaned, consumed with passion.
Dakota reached up and slowly started to unbutton Beth’s blouse. Beth gasped. This was Dakota, her best friend, on top of her, about to make love to her. A tear suddenly rolled down her face.
“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”
“No, just the opposite. This is really going to happen,” Beth said, her eyes wide and desirous.
Dakota gazed into her eyes. “Yes, sweetheart, it is. My dreams have been filled with images of you, and my dream is about to come true.”
Gently, Dakota eased Beth’s shirt off and onto the floor. She slid her hand behind Beth, unclasping the lacy bra with practiced ease. As she looked to Beth’s breasts for the first time, she couldn’t help but take one into her mouth almost instantly. “God, you taste divine! I knew you were going to taste marvelous…” Her words trailed off as she continued to caress Beth’s breast. Dakota teased Beth’s nipple with her tongue. Dakota let out a deep sigh, “Oh, Beth…you move me.” She couldn’t say much more. She traced her hand down Beth’s torso. Beth moved trying to catch Dakota’s every touch.
Dakota’s mouth was full of Beth. This realization overtook Beth. “Please,” Beth begged, “Dakota, please touch me. I can’t wait any longer. Please.”
“Let’s get these jeans off then.” Dakota didn’t want to go slow, but she wanted Beth to enjoy her first time. She reached down and slowly unzipped Beth’s jeans, removed them, and tossed them to the side. All that was left now were Beth’s panties, but Dakota wasn’t ready to remove them just yet. “I’m going to stroke you,” Dakota whispered. “Then, I’m going to love you. Can you handle that, Beth?”
“Yes,” was all Beth said.
Dakota tenderly stroked the silk panties, ever so softly touching her. Dakota was driving her crazy, and Beth was loving every second of it. “Hurry, Dakota!”
With one hand, Dakota slowly, almost methodically, lowered Beth’s panties. Dakota couldn’t help but stare down at the womanly mound. “Beth, you’re beautiful!” She just stared at the woman lying in front of her. Finally, Dakota said, “I am going to touch you. Are you ready?”
The only thing Beth could do was nod. She was more than ready.
“Breathe, sweetheart, breathe.” Dakota slid her fingers between Beth’s lips; her thumb circled Beth’s clit and found what she was looking for. Tenderly, she pushed her fingers inside of Beth. She was dripping wet, like Dakota knew she would be.
Beth arched against Dakota’s hand. “Oh my, that’s heavenly,” Beth whispered, her hips grinding into Dakota’s fingers, pushing them deeper and deeper than she ever thought she could take. Dakota stroked her in perfect rhythm with Beth’s rising hips. Higher and higher Beth went, calling out Dakota’s name in extreme delight. “Oh, God, Dakota, faster!” she begged. “Right there…right there, oh, yes, Dakota!” Beth came hard, and with a guttural scream that she had never experienced before with any man. After a few more spasms of her body, Beth said, “Oh my, I never thought it could feel that good.” She realized she had had her first real orgasm. It took the love of a woman, specifically Dakota, to make Beth understand that there was more to making love than just a man’s pleasure. Beth knew that now. Dakota was the only one she wanted to please her that way.
“That’s just the beginning, my dear, sweet woman. There’s plenty more where that came from. Just think about my mouth on you. You. My mouth exploring every inch of you.
Can you imagine it?”
“Yes, and I can’t wait.”
“I want you to experience everything I have to offer. Please? Are you okay? Do you need to stop?”
“I’ll kill you if you stop right now, Dakota. My body is so ready for your touch. But I want to see your body too.”
Dakota kissed Beth’s neck. Shivers went down Beth’s body. She was ready to be made love to by this woman again. “We’ll get to that soon, I promise. But right now…” Kisses replaced words. Dakota’s hands roamed every last inch of Beth’s body. She wanted to memorize every part of Beth. Beth’s body was soft, easy to touch.
Beth spoke quietly, “No one has ever touched me like that, not even Will. By the way, you are the first person to make love to me since before Will died. I’m so very touched by how gentle you are with me.” Tears filled Beth’s eyes.
Dakota looked up and studied her face. “Then I’m glad it was me.” Her mind shifted. She was worried about the scars on her body, and how Beth was going to react to them.
Scars remind us where we have been, and Dakota had lots of them - on her arms, stomach, and legs – almost a third of them self-inflicted. Not many people ever saw them, and that included most of the one-night stands. Dakota mainly wanted to please someone else sexually; she rarely bothered with her own needs. Besides, she was too ashamed of the scars. The scars on Dakota’s arm were very visible, thus the long sleeve shirts she wore most of the time, even during the hottest days of the year.
Dakota stood up and said, “Before I undress, you need to know something. Before I met Janie, I was a cutter; I used to cut myself on purpose. My body is covered in scars not only from cutting, but the day with Shell.”
“Dakota, I won’t shy away. I’ve noticed the scars on your arms and legs before, and they don’t bother me. Yes, the scars will be hard to look at, at first, but you are you, and you are beautiful to me. Please, let me see all of you.” It was more of a request than a question. Beth was as ready as she was going to be. She stood up next to Dakota, “Let me help you undress.”
Beth reached up, carefully tugged Dakota’s shirt from her jeans, and pulled it over her head dropping it to the floor. She placed soft, gentle kisses on Dakota’s shoulder. She reached behind Dakota and undid her bra.
Dakota’s chest and stomach looked like a patchwork quilt that someone had disassembled, then haphazardly threw back together. One scar in particular, ran from the top of Dakota’s left breast to the bottom of her right breast. Its jagged edges reinforced the pain and sacrifice that Dakota had endured, something that Beth hoped she would one day understand. She thought if Dakota could survive the surgeries and torture, then the least she could do was to be loving and understanding. She told herself that scars were just that, scars, and she loved Dakota, scars and all, Beth reached out to touch her.
Beth’s touch was gentle, shy at first; she fondled Dakota’s hardening nipples. “Oh, Dakota, you’re beautiful. I never imagined a woman’s body could be so beautiful. May I kiss them?”
“Please do.”
Beth took a breast in her mouth and slowly twirled her tongue around the rock hard nipple, just like Dakota had done to her. “Oh, so good,” that’s all Beth could say. Her hand played and toyed with Dakota’s other breast. Dakota’s moan made Beth stop and look up. “Am I hurting you?”
“God, no. It’s delicious. Don’t stop.” Dakota couldn’t believe Beth was actually kissing and fondling her.
Beth pulled back and gazed at Dakota’s chest and stomach. “Did you do all this?”
“No, almost two-thirds came from the day with Shell. The rest are self-inflected.” She let Beth investigate for herself, she didn’t want to hide anything. Gentle fingers traced a few of the scars.
“Do they hurt any more?” Beth was curious.
“Sometimes. Just be gentle with me.”
“Always.” Beth’s hands journeyed down Dakota’s body to her jeans. “Can I undo your jeans?” she asked nervously.
“There is no need to ask, but yes.”
“I promise, I’ll be gentle.” Her hands grasped Dakota’s zipper. Slowly, meticulously, the zipper went down. Beth crouched down to her knees, lowering her lover’s jeans as she went. The scars on her legs were now visible. Beth reached up and touched them. She didn’t shy away, like most women did, when Dakota got enough nerve to undress in front of them. Beth was strong, yet so very tender with her. Beth reached for Dakota’s panties. She took her time lowering them, inch by inch. Beth took in every sight, soaking up every part, every scar that Dakota had. She kissed each one with the most tenderness Dakota had ever experienced. Her hand came up to touch Dakota’s mound. “Oh my, I never thought.”
“Never thought what?”
“I never thought you would be this beautiful, or this soft. That this would turn me on. And believe me, I’m turned on. Your beauty stops me in my tracks.”
Dakota lay down on the bed, pulling Beth on top of her. “Please, I need you inside of me.”
Tentatively, Beth questioned, “Really, are you sure?”
Dakota couldn’t wait. She took Beth’s hand and placed it on top of her throbbing clit. “More than sure.”
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“I won’t break, please, just like I made love to you. I need you to make love to me.”
Little by little, Beth moved her hand and fingers around Dakota’s sex. Taking it all in, she was in no hurry, but Dakota was.
“Please, Beth, go inside.” Dakota couldn’t take any more.
Beth pushed her fingers into Dakota’s wet center, Dakota’s hips rose to meet her. Beth moved in and out of Dakota. Slowly at first, then faster, matching Dakota’s movements. Dakota stopped breathing. “Breathe, sweetheart, breathe,” Beth urged.
The higher Dakota went, the deeper Beth went. Dakota arched her back, took a deep breath, and curled her fingers around the bed sheets. She screamed out in climax, “Oh, Beth, yes!”
Her body shook, as she came ferociously and fast. It felt wonderful to be loved by Beth. She couldn’t actually believe that Beth was inside of her right now.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Beth questioned Dakota.
“I’m great, better than great, and no, you didn’t hurt me. How could something so wonderful hurt?” Dakota took Beth in her arms and hugged her. “Thank you for loving me. It’s been a long time since I let someone touch me like that.”
“Then I am honored to be the one you let in.” Beth wondered about the scars, but would ask more questions later. Right now was not the time. Gently she pulled her fingers out of Dakota, sending aftershocks of delight through her. “Dakota, I know this seems fast, but I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while. Move in with me. You spend most of your time over here anyway. I know I don’t want to be without you in my life every day. Please say yes?”
Dakota kissed the top of Beth’s head. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The woman of her dreams was asking her to move in with her. Dakota pulled Beth as close to her as possible. “Yes. I can’t imagine my life without you in it either. Have you ever heard the joke about what a lesbian brings on a second date?”
“No, tell me.”
“A U-Haul.” They both chuckled. “We’re not even waiting for the second date.”
Beth looked up at Dakota. They held the look for minutes, and smiled. Both women wanted nothing more than to take in this moment. Beth reached up to Dakota’s mouth with her lips. Their lips brushed gently at first, then more hurriedly, greedily, taking each other like they now belonged to one another.
Dakota broke away and rolled over on top of her. “Beth, I want to taste you, I need to taste you.”
“Yes,” Beth shuddered breathlessly, “anything you want.”
Dakota buried kisses in Beth’s neck. Her hands traced Beth’s body down to her hips. Slowly, she made her way down her lover’s body, placing kisses everywhere.
“You’re driving me crazy, woman!” Beth gasped.
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“That’s what I mean to do.” She slid between Beth’s legs, never missing a kiss. Dakota kissed her inner thighs.
This brought groans from Beth. “Oh, God, Dakota, what are you doing to me?”
“I’m loving you.” Dakota’s tongue found Beth’s throbbing clit.
“Oh, my!” Beth gasped.
Dakota’s tongue parted Beth’s lips. At first, Dakota stroked Beth gently with her tongue, so softly that Beth was begging for more. Her tongue darted in and out, driving Beth higher, and crazier. Dakota used her thumb to massage Beth’s clit while she continued to lick and suck Beth. “Yes, oh, yes!” That’s all Beth could get out. She thrust her hips into Dakota’s face, trying to get closer. Beth’s back arched. She pulled the sheet from the corner of the bed with one hand, and urged her new lover on with her other hand on Dakota’s shoulder. Dakota continued to lick and suck her like nothing else mattered in the world. And right then, the only thing that mattered was pleasing Beth.
“Ohhhhh, God, yesssss!” Beth screamed as she climaxed. Dakota drank in her juices. Beth’s body responded time and time again, releasing even more orgasms. When she was all shook out, she laid back against the bed. “Oh Dakota, that was incredible! I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
“No one has ever done that to you before? Not even you husband?” Dakota was shocked.
“You are the first. I’m so amazed. I never thought I could feel this way. You make me feel so very loved.”
“I’m glad, because I plan to do that a lot more to you in the very near future,” Dakota murmured, as she kissed her way back up Beth’s body. She kissed Beth gently on the lips giving Beth the first taste of herself. Yes, Beth had made love to a woman for the first time. And tonight, and in the future, she would get plenty more chances.
Beth placed her head on Dakota’s shoulder and snuggled closer. This was exactly where she wanted to be, in the arms of Dakota, her new lover.
Dakota felt deeply satisfied, in more than one way. She was content, happy, and at peace like never before. Even the voices were quiet right now. She held Beth close, stroking her hair. Soon, Dakota noticed Beth’s deep, even breathing. She had fallen asleep. Dakota was soon to follow, despite knowing the nightmares would be right on her heels.
