Don't Tell A Soul

by Tiffany L. Warren

  “Pam, I have never felt like this before. I think I might be falling in love!”

  I squeal with delight. Even though Troy and I are going through the roughest patch ever, I have to celebrate my friend. She’s never been romanced properly, and Kingston is just the one to do it, with his fine self.

  “So any more details about the date?” I ask. “Did he kiss you?”

  Yvonne shakes her head. “Not then. But he did tell me he was up all night because he couldn’t stop thinking about me!”

  I fan myself and smile. “Wow. You put something on him, Yvonne. That man is sprung.”

  “At the hospital he kissed me, and it was incredible.” Yvonne’s eyes glaze over a bit. “Oh, I sound ridiculous, like a teenager or something.”

  “It’s all right, girl! You’re still a woman, and he’s a man’s man, honey. You better go ’head and get yours.”

  Yvonne looks alarmed. “Get my what?”

  “Girl! It’s just an expression.” I burst out laughing.

  “Oh, I thought you were talking about . . . you know!”

  I shake my head and keep laughing. “Yvonne, I would never tell you to fornicate. Never, ever.”

  “Oh, ’cause I thought you were reading my mind or something. I’ve been having these dreams. I need to take myself down to the altar and let someone cast these lust demons out of me.”

  “You are not lusting! It’s called being a human, Yvonne. You were married for twenty years, so it’s not like you’re a virgin. Women have needs, just like men.”

  “I guess, but I don’t know that Luke was much of a lover. I hear other married women rant and rave about their men, and I have never had anything to sing about.”

  I am so glad that Taylor is not here for this conversation. Especially since she had lots to sing about when it came to Luke. I guess cheating men go above and beyond with their mistresses and leave their wives wanting more. Ooh, why did I have to think about cheaters? My entire mood shifts, and I feel the darkness come over my face.

  “Oh, Pam, I’m sorry. Have you talked to Troy?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t have anything to say to him, you know? Like, if it was just the cheating, then maybe I could get past it, but he won’t cut ties with the girl. Like she’s the only way that he has to come up in the music industry.”

  Taylor finally walks into the restaurant, and she’s got an angry look on her face. She sees us before we even get a chance to wave and storms over to our table. She plops down and slams her purse on the table.

  “Would y’all be mad if I had a glass of wine? I need to calm my nerves,” Taylor says after blowing kisses at me and Yvonne.

  “I’m not sitting here with you while you get intoxicated,” Yvonne says. “It’s bad enough I spent the night with my boyfriend in Put-in-Bay.”

  Taylor laughs out loud. “Your boyfriend? So you claiming Kingston now? It’s about time.”

  “She’s in love,” I say.

  “What? Go ’head, Yvonne! Do I hear wedding bells?”

  Yvonne’s eyes widen. “No! I don’t think so! Not yet. But Kingston is really getting to me, girl.”

  “Well, why you come in here looking all sour?” I ask Taylor. “Why do you need alcohol?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Oh, that fool Luke. He wants Joshua to be in his wedding, and he showed up over at our house with a little white tuxedo. I asked him, what part of my son ain’t coming to that wedding do you not understand?”

  “He invited me to the wedding, thinking that you might let Joshua come if I did,” Yvonne says. “I impolitely declined his invite.”

  “Impolitely!” I burst into laughter. It takes a lot to get Yvonne to be impolite. If she’s nothing else, she’s polite.

  “Okay, I don’t blame you,” Taylor says. “Why does he think you want to see him marry somebody new? Luke doesn’t have good sense, for real!”

  “I think something happened to him while he was locked up,” Yvonne says. “Like, beyond him finding Jesus again. I don’t know. When he lost his eye, some of his sense fell out with it.”

  My phone buzzes with a text message. I usually don’t even check my phone at the table, because I think that is one of the rudest things ever, but I left the kids at home alone, and I need to make sure that they’re okay.

  It’s a text from Logan. I hope you’re smiling today, Pam.

  I’m smiling right now, I text back.

  My phone buzzes again, and Taylor snatches it away from me. “Hey!” I say.

  “Who in the world is texting you?” Taylor asks. “You sitting up here grinning and blushing like you got a new man or something.”

  “Give me my phone!” I lunge forward and try to grab it back.

  Taylor swings it out of my reach. “I’m sure it’s breathtaking. What in the world? Who are these texts from?”

  I pause and grin at Logan’s response. I’m sure it’s breathtaking. I may be enjoying this a little bit too much, but oh well. My husband’s current artist is his ex-mistress. Flirting with Logan doesn’t even come close to making us even.

  “They’re from a friend.”

  “A friend?” Yvonne asks. “A male friend?”

  “Mmm-hmm. The friend you were smelling like the other day,” Taylor says. “You are straight up tripping, Pam.”

  I scrunch my nose and lips into a frown. “Okay, first of all, his name is Logan, and he’s Troy’s producer friend. He’s just trying to make me feel better.”

  “No good can come from this,” Yvonne says. “Pam, you know better.”

  “What? How is it that y’all take up for Troy and he’s out sticking his you-know-what who knows where! Telling me we’re gonna get past this. Well, what if I don’t want to get past it! Why do I always have to do the forgiving?”

  “Just because he’s out tricking it doesn’t mean you have to do the same. You do remember that little thing we call salvation, right?” Taylor asks.

  Oh, no, she didn’t! No, she didn’t! I’ve never done anything out of pocket in my life! I’ve always been faithful to Troy, even when I wasn’t sure if he was being faithful to me. I didn’t steal anyone’s husband!

  “I didn’t forget that I’m saved. But don’t we all sin and come short of the glory of God?”

  Yvonne looks like she wants to slap me. “I know you didn’t just try to use the Bible to justify your flirting. The devil is a lie.”

  “All right, my bad, my bad! I’m just having fun. Logan is a friend trying to make me feel better. There is absolutely nothing going on, so y’all can cancel the prayer vigil.”

  Taylor lifts an eyebrow. “What does he look like?”

  “Who? Oh, Logan?”

  She nods. “Yes. Your friend.”

  “He’s about six-three. He’s dark, dark like motherland dark, but not ashy, just buffed like a piece of onyx. And he’s got this voice that will make you shiver, and the most penetrating gaze.” I fan myself again. “He’s gonna, um, make someone a great husband one day.”

  “Someone? Sounds like you want it to be you,” Yvonne says.

  “He’s fine, okay. I admit it. He’s ridiculously fine, but I’m not attracted to him.” I run a finger through my hair and twirl a strand at the end.

  “You lying,” Taylor says. “Be careful, girl.”

  “This is not good,” Yvonne says. “He sounds dangerous.”

  “He’s not. He’s being a good friend. And if he flirts a little, it’s harmless. He actually asked me to hook him up with someone.”

  “Oh, really?” Taylor says. “What about my girl Shaquan? She’s looking for a good brotha, and he sounds right up her alley.”

  “Um, no. Shaquan is way too ghetto for him,” I say.

  “Too ghetto? Wow. Well, what about our newly saved member, Ms. Eva? She’s sweet,” Taylor replies.

  I roll my eyes. “No. He’s way too sophisticated for her.”

  Taylor looks at Yvonne. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  Yvonne nods. “Yes.
Pam needs to repent.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Are you even thinking about letting your husband come back home?” Taylor asks. “He wants to come back. He keeps calling Spence, because you won’t answer his calls. You’re too busy chatting it up with your new man.”

  “When he called Spence, did he mention cutting Aria loose? And where in the world is the waitress? I’m thirsty and hungry.”

  “You’re definitely thirsty,” Taylor says. “You need to leave this man alone before you get into a situation you ain’t ready for.”

  “I know it’s rare for this to happen, but I agree with Taylor,” Yvonne says.

  I frown at both of them. “I’m gonna need both of you to stop judging me. Taylor, you’ve got your fairy-tale prince, and, Yvonne, you’re on your way to a happily ever after. And all I have is a broke negro who likes to cheat on me. Don’t judge me!”

  Finally, the waitress walks up. “Ladies, can I get your drink orders?”

  “I will have a glass of Moscato,” I say.

  Yvonne frowns. “You’re drinking now, too?”

  “I said, ‘Don’t judge me,’ Yvonne. Make sure you fill that glass all the way up.”

  The waitress nods as Yvonne scowls at me. I shrug and roll my eyes.

  “Well, if she’s drinking, then I’m drinking,” Taylor says.

  “No, you’re not!” Yvonne says. “Clearly, Pam needs an intervention.”

  I stick my tongue out at Yvonne while Taylor orders a Coke.

  “Okay, ladies, I’ll get those drinks right out for you.”

  Taylor says, “You know that I’m not judging you, Pam. I just want you to be careful. If this guy is as hot as you say, then you don’t want to give the devil room. If you get with him, Troy will never forgive you.”

  “Right. It’s a double standard with men,” Yvonne says. “Men want us to forgive them, but they are very unforgiving when the tables are turned.”

  “You both are jumping to conclusions. I haven’t done anything wrong, so I don’t have anything to repent about or ask for Troy’s forgiveness for. But I don’t know if I want to work things out with him.”

  “Stop saying that,” Taylor says. “You have children.”

  “So I’m just supposed to forget that he slept with that girl? Would you forgive Spencer if he cheated on you?”

  “W-wait, this is not about me and Spencer.”

  “I stayed with Luke,” Yvonne says.

  “And that was the right thing to do!” I say sarcastically.

  Yvonne nods. “You’re right. Leaving Luke was the right decision. But I only came to that choice after talking to God. I know you haven’t taken this situation to the throne, because you wouldn’t be texting some other man if you had.”

  Talk about making me feel convicted. She’s right, though. I haven’t taken this situation to the altar. I guess I’m mad at Troy and God behind this. Why didn’t God reveal this cheating to me before I wasted so many years? He could’ve saved me the trouble.

  “Take it to the throne, Pam. Before you decide, talk to God about it,” Yvonne says.

  I nod, making a promise to Yvonne. I won’t make a decision about my and Troy’s future without asking God’s help. But Troy better be praying, too. He’s the one who needs to get right.

  “Did you find out who attacked you, Yvonne?” Taylor asks.

  She shakes her head. “No. Eva says she doesn’t know the guys, but she thinks she knows who sent them.”

  “Who does she think sent them?” I ask. “Who’s out to get her?”

  Yvonne takes a deep breath. “What I’m about to tell y’all is the story she told me. I’m going to preface this with that.”

  “You think she’s lying or something?” Taylor asks.

  “Well . . . just listen to the story, and judge for yourself. I don’t exactly know what to think.”

  “This ought to be good,” I say. “Do tell.”

  Yvonne says, “She said that she went to dance at some strip club and that God convicted her before she could go out on the stage. So she didn’t end up dancing that night, and the club owner was mad, because he had advertised that she was going to be there.”

  “Wait, he advertised that she would be there. Is she a video vixen or something?” Taylor asks.

  “Worse, a former porno star,” Yvonne says. “And that’s not something for y’all to share.”

  My jaw drops. “Wow. She used to do adult movies? That’s just wow.”

  “So the club owner advertised that she was gonna be there, and he got angry that she wouldn’t dance. He tried to rape her, and she fought back. Because Eva knocked him out, he got mad and sent his goons to find her.”

  “And you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?” I ask. “So what’s she doing now?”

  “Staying at the women’s shelter over on Seventy-Ninth, because she’s afraid to go back to the apartment at church for now.”

  “Women’s shelter?” I ask. “Nonsense! I’ve got lots of room. She can stay with me.”

  “No. You don’t want that spirit around your children,” Yvonne warns.

  “What spirit?”

  “I think she might be bisexual.”

  Taylor’s eyes get really huge. “Bisexual? She’s bi?”

  “I’m not sure, but she did kiss me, and I’m telling you it was a strange spirit. Hopefully, she got delivered from that when she went down in the water.”

  I shake my head at Yvonne. “First, you judge me for a glass of wine, and now you’re judging this girl for her past.”

  Yvonne says, “She just kissed me a few days ago, Pam. That’s almost the present.”

  “I agree,” Taylor says. “A few days ago is pretty darn current.”

  “Was it before or after she turned her life over to Christ?” I ask.

  “Before. A couple days before,” Yvonne says.

  “Then that’s good enough for me. It’s the past. She can stay at my house.”

  “I’m not judging her,” Yvonne says. “I wouldn’t still be her friend if I was. I just didn’t want you to open Gretchen and Cicely up to anything, you know?”

  “I pray over my children all the time. Can you call her and tell her she can stay with me?”

  Yvonne jots the number on a piece of paper. “You can tell her at the Sister to Sister meeting tonight. It might seem strange if I do it.”

  “Why? Because you could’ve offered her a place to stay yourself?” I ask.

  “No. I just don’t want her to think we’re sitting around talking about her.”

  “We are, though,” Taylor says. “Once she gets to know us, she’ll understand that it’s not gossip, and that we’re just trying to find out folks’ prayer requests.”

  Taylor, Yvonne, and I burst into laughter at Taylor’s joke. Taylor hated the Sister to Sister meetings when she first started. She called them gossiping sessions. And there is definitely gossiping going on.

  The waitress shows up with our drinks and sits the glass of wine in front of me. Yvonne stares with a scowl on her face.

  “Are you really going to drink that before we go to church? The sisters will smell it on your breath.”

  I sigh loudly. “Please take this back and bring me a Coke.”

  Yvonne grins victoriously. “Thank God!”

  Well, since I can’t have any wine for my nerves, I’m gonna get my grub on. Paella and warm, crusty parmesan bread sound right down my alley. And bump a salad. I need extra bread. No man, no alcohol . . . I might as well have my carbs.

  Thank God for carbohydrates.

  CHAPTER 38

  YVONNE

  The Sister to Sister meeting is packed today. I figured it would be. Anytime some drama pops off at the church, everyone shows up. I even warned Eva about it on the way here. Rhoda and Rochelle, who are usually unfashionably late, are front and center, and it looks like they’ve even brought the refreshments.

  Rhoda rushes up to me and Eva as we join the circle o
f chairs. She gives me a tight hug and murmurs something in my ear that sounds like an unknown tongue.

  “Sister Yvonne, God has truly got His hand on you. You have been beaten twice by big burly men and survived to tell us about it.” Rhoda has her “deep” facial expression on. It takes every bit of restraint for me to keep from rolling my eyes.

  “Thank you, Rhoda. I know that I’m a child of God.”

  Then Rhoda looks Eva up and down. “And you! I’m putting you on the prayer list indefinitely. I’m glad you went down in the water, because I’ve heard some shocking reports about you. But it’s covered under the blood, so we’re not gonna talk about it here.”

  Eva looks at me with an alarmed expression on her face, and I shrug. I have no idea where Rhoda may have gotten her information, if she even has the correct story. Sometimes she’s on reconnaissance missions to see what kind of scoop she can collect by acting like she already knows.

  Taylor’s friend Shaquan pushes past Rhoda and hugs Eva. “Congratulations, girl, on getting baptized and all. You inspired me.”

  “Really?” Eva asks. “Did you get baptized, too?”

  Shaquan laughs. “Well, I’ve been baptized a couple times already.”

  “A couple?” Taylor says from her seat in the circle. “Girl, Shaquan done been down in the water at least a dozen times since we’ve been grown.”

  Eva covers her mouth and giggles, and Shaquan gives Taylor the hand. “Listen at that hater here. I get baptized again every time I turn my life back around. It takes some of us longer than others to get all the way right.”

  “Well,” I say, “the Israelites did walk around the wilderness for forty years. Where’s Pam?”

  Taylor lifts an eyebrow at me. “She went to make a phone call.”

  I shake my head, because I gather from Taylor’s expression that Pam’s talking to her new friend. Part of me wants to call Troy and tell him myself that he needs to handle his household, but loyalty to my friend keeps me from doing so.

  Carmisha must’ve come upon some money, because she’s got on a new outfit. It’s a jean jacket and skirt with patches of light blue jean and patches of black. Her hair is slicked down and gelled into a little mound on the top, and then there is an explosion of weave on the top. It looks like a weave waterfall. She’s also got on a full face of makeup and a set of sparkly acrylic nails, each one a different color.