Crush (Elemental Hearts, #3)

by Morgan, Jayelle

  “Are you okay? Do you need help?”

  The boy just stared at him, not responding.

  He inched another step toward him. “My name is Micah. Do you remember me?”

  In the dim light of the cave, Micah squinted to make out the boy’s expression. Would he remember him? He’d thrown one frightened look in Micah’s direction the day he’d been fighting to get to him.

  Micah squatted down even though he was still a few feet from the boy. Who knew what had happened to the young man on the other side of that portal? He didn’t want to contribute more to his trauma by frightening him.

  “I will keep you safe. I can take you home.” After he drained him, of course. If he was lucky, maybe the draining process would take away some memories of whatever he’d been through.

  “Will you come with me?”

  Micah extended his hand further, waiting.

  The boy approached.

  Micah stood slowly, and touched his small shoulder, just filling out with the muscles of adulthood.

  The adolescent turned and looked at him... and Micah snatched his hand back, gritting his teeth until he thought they might break.

  The boy’s eyes were full of static.

  He’d smelled burning plastic not because a Chaolt had brought the boy through the portal, but because the boy was a Chaolt. Something had seemed wrong because he was now a being of Chaos. His form seemed to subtly and continually change. It was the same boy, and yet wasn’t. His soul was gone.

  And now that he was paying attention, Micah couldn’t sense Earth in him anymore, either.

  He would have to kill him.

  Micah pivoted to the cave wall and punched it, chips of bloody rock falling to the ground at his feet.

  The boy was just a shell now, a vessel for chaotic, evil energy. The real boy was as good as dead the moment he’d been taken through the portal.

  It didn’t make it any easier to do his job, to take a Chaolt’s life, this time.

  He’d make it quick, make sure there was no suffering. If the Chaolt could suffer, for they were not even truly alive.

  He turned to the young man, gripping his sword so tight his hand ached.

  “I’m sorry...”

  But he couldn’t do it.

  Pain and regret and failure choked him. Maybe it was his dreams of Tokoni that stayed his hand, or maybe he was just tired of this. Tired of the war, of death, of failing the people he was trying to save. Tired of losing.

  Not good thoughts for a Warrior to have.

  If he killed the young man, Jade might be safe, but the portal was still here. More Chaolt could still come through, but that was true either way. Whether or not he killed him, Jade would still be in danger.

  He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make the move that would end the boy’s life, such as it was. Looking at him, he saw Tokoni, the first person he’d truly failed. And every failure since then, even the ones that hadn’t resulted in death, but could have.

  He had all this strength, all this power, and he still failed repeatedly.

  Not killing the boy might be another failure, but killing him certainly would be. A permanent one.

  Instead, Micah took his arm and pulled him back toward the portal, close enough that the stench of Chaos and the buzz in his brain was overwhelming. Blinding, deafening, painful. Close enough that the gray light from it highlighted the boy’s features. Micah pointed to the portal, his finger almost touching the swirling surface.

  “Go through the portal. Don’t come back.”

  The boy gave no indication he understood. Micah took a deep breath and ignored the urge to push him through.

  He must understand, and so Micah spoke, holding eye contact though the static gave him vertigo.

  “Boy. Go through the portal, and don’t return. If you come back here, I will have to kill you. Do you understand? I will kill you.”

  He would have to, to save someone else.

  Jade.

  The boy finally nodded, and Micah’s knees shook with relief. He took his shoulders and turned him, pointing him toward the portal. “Go.”

  The young man cast a long, hungry look over his shoulder, not at Micah, but out toward the mouth of the cave.

  Was he missing home perhaps, life? Or was it something else?

  The boy turned back toward the portal and stepped through without another backward glance. Swirling black and white swallowed his form instantly.

  Micah sat down hard on the floor of the cave, sword clattering on the ground beside him. He sat his forearms on his knees and then scrubbed a hand down his face.

  He’d have to get Jade off the mountain, quicker now. What if the boy came through again and brought others? Jade was in a great deal more danger because of his decision to let a Chaolt go back.

  He should tell the other Warriors, prepare them. But Levi and Brooke were having a baby, and Ajax had taken on Walker’s leadership duties while also watching his son. And no one had heard from Walker yet, had no idea when he’d return.

  No, he’d have to fix this himself. He’d have to keep Jade safe until she had the gems for her mother, and then get her off the mountain.

  Resolved, Micah stood and walked out of the cave. He holstered his knife between his shoulder blades. This close to the portal, his Earth powers were nulled out. But he had hands and muscles, and he used them to get boulders and rocks to block the entrance to the cave, similar to how he’d blocked the hiking trail. It probably wouldn’t work long, but it would buy them some time.

  He gathered and stacked stone to close off the cave, the human way, with no power to aid him in the work.

  Then his fingers started bleeding. Micah stared at them, the blood welling from deep scrapes caused by the sharp edges of the rocks. His Elemental powers increased his healing speed, but with the portal so close and his other powers nulled out, his healing wasn’t working either.

  His fingers hurt and fatigue was dragging at him. But the only thing he could do about it was finish. So he did, and when it was done, he sat heavily against the wall to catch his breath and rest his stinging hands. And consider what he’d done.

  He likely should have made a different decision, but there was no changing it now. He’d screwed up, letting the boy live and sending him back, but he’d do the same again. However, the longer it took for Jade to finish mining, the more chances the Chaolt would have to get to her. He had to fix this error he’d made from un-Warrior-like sentimentality. When it came to the Chaolt, all he could do was wait for them to make their next move.

  But when it came to Jade... He could help her. If he was careful, he could help her find her gems, so she wasn’t digging anymore empty holes. She would never leave willingly without them, and even if he warned her about the danger, there was no guarantee she’d believe him. Once, he got her off the mountain, away from the portal, he could drain her with no consequences and she could help her mother.

  Micah rubbed his chest, the place that always ached when he thought of Tokoni. He rotated his shoulder to try to relieve the diffuse pain, but it never helped much.

  So instead he thought of Jade. She needed to find her gemstones, and it was taking too long. Sure, he needed to drain her slowly, and extra time would be beneficial for that. But sending the boy back through the portal just shortened that time a great deal, and he couldn’t drain Jade any faster without putting her in danger from mining. It would take too much of her concentration, too much of her strength, away.

  He would help her instead. He’d use his powers to help her find gems to care for her mother more quickly than she could on her own, before the Chaolt became a bigger threat.

  He would have to be careful, however. He couldn’t use a lot of power, or use it in an obvious way. She must remain unaware of what he was.

  Tomorrow, he’d make sure Jade found some gems, bringing him one step closer to getting her off the mountain.

  If the earth could listen, what would you say?

  I would beg it
to be generous to me...

  It was time to let Jade know the Earth was listening.

  CHAPTER NINE

  WHEN JADE REACHED PLAIN dirt in her second hole, she knew the small pocket she’d found was done. She’d only pulled out about a hundred dollars’ worth of crystals. One hundred dollars, for weeks of labor. Her teacher pay was crap, but it was better than this.

  And this was much harder work, dammit. She was tired. But the hardest work was still ahead of her. She’d need to fill in this hole, find a new promising area, dig it out. Sort through the dirt, shovel some more. Scrape and chip and hammer away at more rocks. And she might strike out, anyway. Again.

  She clenched her eyes shut for a minute, but she didn’t have time for self-pity. She squeezed herself backward out of the hole, dragging her tools along with her.

  Out of breath, she stopped at the opening and looked up at the pale blue sky, breathing in the cool, dry air. In and out, in and out. Pacing her breaths to prevent the sob in her throat from making its way out.

  She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t cry. Instead, she would move more boulders, throw more stone, and dig in a new spot. But she wouldn’t cry.

  She put her gloves on and shoveled with a vengeance. The sooner this hole was filled, the sooner she could try again.

  And fail again.

  Jade ignored that pessimistic, defeatist voice in her head and shoveled harder. That voice was a bitch and a liar. It had to be.

  Never had she had this bad of luck mining for this long. She was due a good strike, a nice pocket of gems. Maybe one pocket wouldn’t pay out enough, but if she found another after that, and perhaps even another...

  Jade looked over her claim, shovel idle in her hands. Where the hell would she find another promising site? Much less two, or three?

  She tossed her shovel down and sat back hard on the wall of the pit, her butt sliding a bit on the loose dirt.

  She didn’t hear Micah, but she felt him come close. He appeared at the edge of her vision.

  “Jade?”

  She pushed her fingers through her bangs, over her head, and looked up at him. “Yeah?”

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She stood and started shoveling again, aware that he hadn’t yet walked away.

  After a minute where the only sounds were the scrape of her shovel through the dirt and her breath, Micah said, “I could help you find a new place to dig. A good place.”

  What, with his magical powers again? No thanks. “I’m good. I’ll find one.” Any random spot she picked would have the same chance of holding gems. And she would have to pick a random spot. She’d exhausted all the surface signs she could find.

  “If you followed your instincts—”

  “Just stop.” Jade held up a hand and then started shoveling again. “You know what my instincts are saying right now?” She stabbed the spade in, threw a shovel-full of dirt that was way too heavy into the hole. “They’re saying I’ve failed. They’re saying I’m going to keep failing. They’re saying I’m going to fail my mother and she’s going to die in a shitty nursing home. That I’ll fail her.” The tears she wouldn’t let fall thickened her throat again. “So damn it, no, I will not trust my instincts. I’m going to ignore them and dig another hole, and keep digging them until I prove my ‘instincts’ wrong.”

  Micah knelt down until he was closer to her level, but she didn’t look up from the pile of dirt she was working. “If you don’t have faith in your own instincts, will you trust mine? Let me help?” His voice was soft, beseeching, and it took all the anger out of her.

  “We’ve already done this before, Micah.” Her sigh seemed to come all the way up from her tired feet. He’d tried to lead her to his spot before, promising it was good, with no logic or skill or geologic expertise to back it up. She just couldn’t rely on that, couldn’t trust her mom’s health to feelings.

  And why was ‘Mr. Strong & Silent’ being so pushy all of a sudden?

  He inched closer and held out his hand. “Trust me?”

  It was really that he sounded like he asked her to trust him, not his instincts, that did it. She did trust him, more than anyone in recent years. And she needed a new hole, anyway. At this point, when she was considering throwing darts to pick a spot, whatever Micah had in mind couldn’t be any worse.

  “What the hell,” she muttered, and plopped her hand in his.

  He helped her out of the pit and moved to her side until they both faced the same direction. He didn’t let go of her hand, and her whole arm seemed to thrum from the contact.

  “Ready?”

  “Ready for what, exactly?”

  “We’re going to walk over your claim, and you’re going to use your instincts to find where to dig next. Now, close your eyes.”

  She looked sideways at him with a hard roll of her eyes. “No way.” This was a mistake. Mystical woo wouldn’t help her find gems.

  “Okay,” he grinned, and her heart did a little flip in her chest. “Then look down at the ground. But focus on the inside.” He said the last with his fist pressed against his stomach. “Try to ignore what logic is telling you. Visualize the crystal pocket you want to find.”

  “Here,” he said, moving his hand to her abdomen. Every nerve fired under his touch until her stomach practically vibrated. “Follow the feeling in here.” And then he removed his hand while she tried to catch her breath.

  He was staring at her, so she nodded that she was ready. He turned away, leading her by the hand. Slowly, they walked from her hole to a different area. Then another, pausing for a minute each time.

  “Feel anything?”

  “No.”

  “Visualize.”

  Jade visualized as hard as she could. A pocket underground just filled with perfect crystals. Her Hail Mary pocket. Her Honor-Dad’s-Memory pocket. Her Take-Care-of-Mama pocket. But this was stupid. It was a bunch of hippy-dippy, new-age mystic crap and—

  She jerked, her eyes tearing open. She hadn’t meant to close them, but Micah had safely led her over the ground to a new spot.

  The spot he’d shown her before.

  Her breath came out in short bursts. No matter what she believed, something was undeniably happening to her. The vibration in her abdomen wasn’t something she was doing. It felt the same as when Micah touched her, only he wasn’t touching anything now but her hand. And yet the feeling had intensified, to where she couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t pretend the sensation wasn’t there.

  Wary, she turned to him. “What is that?”

  “That is Earth. The earth you are formed from, the earth that nurtures you. Those are your instincts telling you what the Earth would, if it could speak.” His eyes did that thing again where the brown melted into a molten gold.

  Jade took her hand from Micah’s and swiped the back of it over her sweaty upper lip. The vibration faded a bit when she wasn’t touching him, but a slight tremor remained inside her.

  She looked at the soil beneath her feet as if it might open and swallow her up.

  What the hell had just happened?

  Micah stood in the same place, hands loose at his sides, waiting.

  Brain engaging, she focused on the geologic signs. A line of lighter-colored pegmatite bisected the spot. Her eyes picked out bright specs in the rocks, reflecting sunlight. Could just be sparkly schist, or they might be small crystals. Promising, but it would take a test pit to determine how good the signs actually were.

  Jade put her palm over her stomach. The sensation was still present, but inside. Ever the scientist, she had to test it. With a deep breath, eyes open, she walked away from Micah and the site. The vibration quit. She turned back, and the quiver returned. She checked once more, in a different direction. Same results.

  Micah crossed his arms, his head tilted, watching her as she tried to process.

  There was something about this location, no matter how she wanted to deny it.

  What did she have to lose by digging here, really? She had t
o start a new hole anyway, every other one had been a dead end. And time was shorter than it seemed. Winter was a cold shadow over each day even though it was still summer. It snowed up here about six weeks earlier than it did at lower elevations. This spot was as good, or bad, as any she had to choose from at the moment.

  “I don’t understand it, I don’t believe it.” She threw her hands up, both physically and emotionally. “But... I’ll give it a shot.”

  Micah’s smile was like lava. Slow, hot. Striking. It melted all of her thoughts into a messy jumble.

  He walked toward her and stopped close enough that her breasts would brush his chest if she took a big breath.

  So she inhaled deeply and looked up at him.

  Her insides quivered again, but this time she recognized it as Micah’s effect on her.

  Oh lord, she was already in deep.

  “You’ll be glad you trusted your instincts.”

  If she hit a vein of gemstones, yes. If not, it would just be another time they betrayed her.

  He lifted a hand toward her face, but stopped a few inches away. “May I touch you?”

  He’d held her hand before, but she understood he was asking her for permission to touch her more intimately now.

  She was exhausted from digging her way to dead ends, and despite whatever strange experience she just had, she really didn’t expect that to have anything but another unproductive hole. Her rule about not mixing mining and romance couldn’t be broken if there wasn’t any profitable mining happening... right? And to be honest, she was tired of fighting off something she wanted.

  Oh, how she wanted.

  “Yes,” she whispered, and his hand brushed up the side of her face, into her hair, and then down to cup her neck. The humming started in her body again, but better, hotter. Lower.

  And he didn’t stop there. He brought up his other hand too, and brushed both across her shoulders, down her arms, and back up again, his eyes following his hands. As if he’d been dying to touch, and couldn’t get enough once she’d given him permission.

  Her nipples tightened against her shirt, sheer pleasure from his touch and the intensity of his attention.