Depth of Lies

by E. C. Diskin

  He didn’t answer.

  “You’re the one who’s not giving our new life a chance.”

  Mack took a breath. He was always the one to take a breath—never raising his voice at her, always the rational, calm one. “I think we should hang up before we say anything else.”

  “Fine,” Kat said.

  “Fine.”

  The line went dead. Kat stared at the phone.

  CHAPTER 28

  April 14

  KAT TOOK THE TRAIN INTO the city on Friday morning for her final meeting. She lingered in the conference room, gathering notes and files. Mack was right. Her own life was a mess. It was time to focus on that for a change. She waved at Martin on her way out. “We can do whatever remains via e-mail, okay?”

  “No problem,” he said. “Have a safe flight.”

  On the train heading west to Maple Park, her head against the window, she breathed deeply. It was that anxiety again. But it wasn’t about Shea’s death this time. It was about her own life. She was feeling rootless once more. Just like after college. Everything was different, and it was hard to know where she fit. Was that house she and Mack bought a mistake? Was the neighborhood? Was the job? All she knew was that despite everything else, she missed her husband. He was her best friend. The fighting was about loneliness. He was alone—so was she.

  She reviewed her e-mail and found the latest from Martin, with a subject line: Voucher Information Request.

  Oh, right, she thought, clicking open the message.

  The Shea Walker voucher for Chicago hotel was used on March 25. Room 44a, King Deluxe, Riverview. Reservation No. 46586, in the name of Ryan Walker.

  Oh, good, Kat thought. At least Shea and Ryan had enjoyed a romantic night together in the city, and in a top-floor suite, no less. Ryan could cherish that memory. And, she realized, if they’d used the voucher, things had been good between them. Despite whatever had happened in the past. Tori was crazy to point the spotlight at Ryan. He loved Shea, Kat was sure of it. Twenty years of living next door to their marriage had to mean something.

  Kat got off the train in Maple Park and walked the three blocks to a pub in the center of town for a late lunch with Tori and Lina. She and Tori would drop by Evelyn’s later, but no matter what they learned, it was nearing the time to say good-bye again. Tori kept the conversation light, entertaining them with more of her daughters’ escapades. Tori’s youngest, Betsy, seemed to be the wildest of the bunch. Her license had recently been suspended, and now Tori was back to chauffeuring the seventeen-year-old, who hated every minute of it. And tomorrow she was sitting for the SATs for the second and final time. Tori said with Herman still gone, she was warden for the weekend.

  “My only goal,” she said, “is to keep that girl home tonight, be sure she gets some sleep, and get her to the test center on time in the morning.”

  It was these kinds of conversations Kat had missed. Nothing of consequence, just sharing the mundane, the highs and lows, with friends. “I’m really going to miss you two,” she said after the meal. “I still can’t believe Shea’s death was the reason I came back, but I guess . . .” She stopped herself, tears welling, feeling silly.

  “What?”

  “I don’t think I realized how much I missed you all until I got here. It’s nice to have some girlfriends again. I don’t think I’ve shared a meal or a cup of coffee or a glass of wine with another woman in like three months.”

  “You and Mack must be getting a little sick of each other, then, huh?” Lina asked.

  Kat took a sip of tea before responding. “Mack and I . . . it’s been a tough move. We both miss our friends. I mean, before this week . . .” She wasn’t sure how to explain. “We’re just struggling. Instead of turning to each other . . .”

  Tori and Lina both reached out to Kat’s hands, laying their own hands on top, like a sports team. “Hey, you don’t have to live here to feel connected to your friends,” Tori said. “We might not be able to get coffee or share some wine, but just reach out. Don’t go radio silent again, okay?”

  “Okay,” Kat said, wiping her eyes. “I have a hard time letting people know when things aren’t good.”

  “Why?” Lina asked.

  “I hate for people to worry about me, or feel sorry for me. Or talk about me.”

  “I know something about that,” Lina said.

  “So,” Tori answered, “in the name of privacy or pride, you like the world to think your life is perfect?”

  “In a nutshell,” Kat agreed, smiling.

  “But if any of us were to talk about you or worry about you, or feel sorry for you, it would only be because we love you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Good,” Tori said, with a tap on her arm. “Now run off to the restroom, so Lina and I can talk about what a mess you are.” Tori to the rescue again: laughter through tears.

  “You and Mack will be all right,” Lina said. “Every marriage has highs and lows. And what do they say? The most stressful things on a marriage are finances, kids, and moving.”

  “They’re right,” Kat smirked.

  “Absolutely,” Tori said. “And Mack loves you.”

  Kat knew that. The fighting was rooted in feeling adrift. Neither of them wanted it. She needed to be his anchor. She needed him to be hers.

  “You two are gonna be fine,” Lina said.

  “I hope so. But I need to go home.”

  The waiter brought the bill, and Tori threw down her card before Kat or Lina had the chance. “My treat, ladies.” They both tried to stop her, but she put up her hand. “Zip it.”

  “Well, thanks, that’s nice,” Kat said. Lina agreed.

  “Now, I hate to end this,” Lina said, “but I’ve got to get home soon. My daughter said she’d call me at three for a catch-up. I don’t want to miss it.”

  While the women waited for the server to process Tori’s card, Kat turned the discussion to Lina’s health. Lina said she’d been feeling better than ever, so perhaps the treatments were working. The women toasted to gathering again in another year, perhaps another lake house getaway, to celebrate Lina’s complete recovery.

  “Oh jeez,” Tori interrupted, her focus now behind Kat, looking toward the bar.

  “What?” both women said, following her gaze.

  “Charlie,” Tori said. “How will I ever look at that guy the same?”

  He was sitting at the bar, watching a game on the big TV in the corner. “Well, no one says you have to,” Lina pointed out. “He left Dee. She’s our friend. Nothing wrong with taking sides.”

  The server brought Tori’s receipt, and they left. Ryan was on the sidewalk, reaching for the door to the restaurant as they stepped outside.

  “Oh, hi, Ryan,” Kat said.

  “Hey, Ryan,” both Tori and Lina added, everyone taking turns to offer quick hugs.

  “What are you up to?” Kat asked.

  “Just gonna get a bite at the bar,” Ryan said.

  “You running out of home-cooked meals?” Tori asked.

  “Hardly. Just needed a break from all the pasta. I’m craving a Reuben.”

  “Well, just a heads-up,” Kat said. “Charlie’s sitting in there at the bar.”

  “Oh,” Ryan said, his tone suddenly somber. “Thanks, Kat. Perhaps this isn’t the best idea. Maybe I’ll get some sushi. Well, good to see you, ladies. And Kit Kat, will I see you again, or are you leaving today?”

  “Soon, I’m afraid.” She opened her arms, and he embraced her tightly.

  “Thanks again for coming back for the memorial. We’ve missed you and Mack.”

  “Us, too. You take care, Ryan, and let’s keep in touch,” Kat said.

  “Deal.”

  Tori and Kat dropped Lina at home and drove toward the center of town.

  “This is it,” Tori said, pulling up in front of Evelyn’s building. “I’ve never been inside. Shea was thrilled to have sold one of those units.”

  They opened the oversize quartersawn oak entry door,
finding a mosaic tile floor inside the vestibule, where all the old-style brass mail slots were housed. Tori scanned the names along the tops of the boxes and found Evelyn’s name and her unit: P. The inner door was locked, and Tori pushed the intercom beside the letter P. A moment later someone replied, “Hello?” It was a man’s voice.

  “Hello?” Tori said. “We’re looking for Evelyn Preston. Do we have the right place?”

  “Sure,” the man’s voice said. “Come on up.” The door buzzed, and Kat pulled it open before they could say more.

  “Is she seeing someone?” Kat wondered aloud.

  “No idea,” Tori said. “Shea said she dates a lot. This could be interesting. Maybe she’s got some boy toy stashed away in here.”

  Kat laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “Maybe,” Tori smirked.

  The inside foyer housed a few antiques and a large area rug over the old oak floors. The elevator bank was along the left side. When the doors to one of the elevators opened, the women were faced with an iron gate.

  “Wow, this really is old. I’d hate to get stuck in here.”

  “Don’t even joke,” Tori replied as they stepped in to the small box, standing shoulder to shoulder.

  “So it looks like P is for penthouse,” Kat said. Every floor but one was numbered.

  “Swanky,” Tori said.

  The elevator stopped, and Tori pulled the gate open. They stood in a large entry hall, facing the single apartment door.

  Kat raised her hand to knock on the door, but it opened just before her hand touched the wood. A shirtless man, hair wet, a towel around his neck, stood there, barefoot, with sweatpants hanging loosely from his hips, his bare chest and flawless torso so surprising it was difficult not to stare.

  “Hello,” Tori said, attempting nonchalance. “We’re so sorry to catch you at a bad time. We’re friends of Evelyn’s. Is she home?”

  “I’m afraid not,” the man said.

  “And who are you?” Kat asked, compensating for the nosy inquiry with a smile.

  “Oh, forgive me, ladies,” the man said as he stretched out his hand. “I’m Evelyn’s baby brother, Frederick Preston.”

  “Oh, hello,” Kat said, shaking his hand. “I didn’t realize she had a brother. I’m Katherine Burrows, Kat to my friends, and this is Victoria Youngren.”

  “Tori,” she corrected. “Nice to meet you,” she said, extending her hand.

  “Hello there, Tori.” He took Tori’s outstretched hand and pulled it in for a kiss like Rhett Butler. It was laughable, really, and both women giggled. He was far too good-looking for them to be anything but flattered, and perhaps he was trying to be funny. Besides, it was difficult to focus while he stood there in his half-naked glory, an incredibly fit specimen for a guy who looked just a few years younger than themselves.

  “Anyway,” Tori said, “do you know when Evelyn will be back?”

  “She’s in Denver, setting up some computer network. I think she said she’d be back late tonight.”

  “Oh shoot. We assumed she’d be back by now. How long are you in town?” Kat asked.

  “Actually, I’m heading out in another hour,” he said. “Though, now that I’ve met you two, I’m sorry to leave. Evelyn’s made some beautiful friends in this town.”

  Both women giggled, but Tori was bold. “Boy, you certainly are the flirt, aren’t you?”

  “Just honest. I met her friend Shea as well. Was she a friend of yours?”

  “She was.”

  “Then I’m so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy.”

  “When did you meet her?” Kat asked.

  “She came here, just before she died. I got to say hello before she and Ev left town. Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you both. I’ll tell Ev you stopped by.”

  A thin, black cat suddenly appeared between Frederick’s legs, purring as she brushed against him. He bent over to pick her up. “This one is always trying to escape,” he said with a smile. “Say hello to the beautiful women,” he said to the cat.

  Tori reached to stroke her fur and said hello.

  “Hi, kitty,” Kat said. “Can’t touch you, though—terribly allergic. Well, nice to meet you, Frederick.”

  After he shut the door, Kat and Tori stared at each other silently as they waited for the elevator. Once they were inside, Tori said, “Oh my. Me likey!”

  But Kat had been breathlessly waiting to talk for an entirely different reason. “Didn’t you hear that? Shea was with Evelyn just before she died. They left town together? Now I have to talk to her.”

  “Don’t you need to leave?”

  “I do. But maybe I can fly out late tonight after I see her. I need to check flights. Will you drop me at Lina’s?”

  CHAPTER 29

  April 1

  8:00 a.m.

  SHEA ROSE EARLY, SHOWERED, AND was preparing omelets and bacon when Ryan came down to the kitchen.

  “Wow, what’s this?” Ryan asked.

  “Payback,” Shea said. “Coffee’s made.”

  “Great.” He headed to the cabinet for a mug.

  “You made such a nice dinner yesterday. Sorry I ran out on you.”

  Ryan stepped over to the stove with his coffee and kissed her neck. “Nothing turns me on more than the smell of bacon.”

  “I know.” She laughed. “Maybe I should look for some bacon perfume. Hey,” she said, handing him a plate, “I completely forgot about Susie’s play this weekend.”

  “What are you talking about?” He sat at the table to eat.

  Shea turned back to the stove to prepare her eggs. “Susie’s in a play. I told you about this.”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “Seriously?” she replied sarcastically. Of course, she hadn’t told him, since there was no play, but for twenty years, they’d chided each other about forgetting plans the other had shared. And Ryan enjoyed children’s theater about as much as dental visits. “I promised my sister I’d come see her. Can you do without me for the weekend? I missed her last one.”

  Ryan took a few bites before replying. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “Thanks,” she said, joining him at the table. “That’s sweet, but I’d rather you stay home. I’m stressed that we’re not going to be ready for the open house next week. There’s still so much to do. Can you finish the basement this weekend without me?”

  “Yes, boss.”

  Shea cleaned up the breakfast dishes and descended the stairs to the basement. Ryan was standing in the middle of twenty years of boxes, toys, a crate of Legos, two shoe boxes of Barbies, two garbage bags filled with costumes, games, ski gear, furniture they didn’t use upstairs but she’d never wanted to give away, and computer equipment that was either broken or outdated. She climbed over the piles and gave him a hug and a kiss. “I’m off,” she said.

  “Maybe I should go to the play and you could do this,” he joked.

  “Yeah, right.” She smirked, looking around. The tension had finally dissolved. They were a team again, handling life together. “What should we do with all this stuff?” she asked. “Should we keep the furniture? What if the kids want the toys for their own kids?”

  Ryan chuckled. “No way. They’re several years from any of that. Let them start fresh. I’m thinking this will be several trips to Goodwill.”

  There were so many toys and games. Years of their lives were bound by these walls, this town, all these things. It was hard to believe they were really going to say good-bye to all of it. She sat on the arm of the sofa, picked up one of Leigh’s wigs from her dress-up phase, and put it on her head. “Can I keep some of these at least?”

  Ryan looked over at the neon-green curls and laughed. “Hot. Okay, just the wigs.”

  Shea pulled it off, stood, and fixed her hair. “Costumes, too. I mean, some of those are adult size! You never know.”

  “Fine,” he said with a grin.

  “I love you, Ryan Walker.”

  “And I love you, Shea Walker. Call me
later, okay?” he asked, heading toward the furnace room.

  “Will do. I’ll call you before I go to bed tonight.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Shea headed out, energized and relieved to have a friend for the trip. She’d considered asking Lina, but it seemed a lot to ask. She’d looked so thin at chemo a couple of weeks ago. She didn’t need this kind of stress. Tori’s weekends still involved high school sports, and she and Herman had a standing date night the first Saturday of every month. They never skipped it. Perhaps she and Ryan should try that.

  Dee had never responded to Shea’s text on Wednesday. Maybe only time and distance would repair that friendship. Or maybe she was just busy with her own life. She was ashamed to have so quickly assumed Dee would have betrayed her after all these years. When she’d returned home from Michigan in February and briefly panicked that Ryan had been with another woman, she’d almost expected to find Dee hiding in her closet. It was ridiculous and embarrassing now to admit that, even to herself. She’d let her imagination get away from her, suddenly looking back at every conversation between them, every offhand remark, distorting each exchange inside a new lens, simply because of that dinner party, because Dee was always up for anything, because Dee’s husband was Charlie, the creep, and because Dee had often said that Ryan was one of the good ones.

  Shea pulled up to Evelyn’s building, jumped out, and rang the bell inside the door. “I’m here!” she hollered after Evelyn answered the buzzer. It had seemed like a long shot when she called Evelyn at ten thirty last night, asking if she was free for the weekend, saying only that she needed a wingman for a quick trip to Ohio. But Evelyn’s response was immediate—she was happy to join her for an adventure. Shea was thrilled. She probably should have thought of Evelyn first. She certainly had the most freedom, without kids or a husband to contend with.

  “I’ll be right down,” Evelyn replied.

  “Can I come up?” Shea asked. Evelyn buzzed her in. In Shea’s quest to get on the road quickly, she’d failed to hit the restroom. It would be a long drive.

  A man answered the door and introduced himself as Evelyn’s brother, Frederick, Red to his friends. “Really?” Shea asked, like he was pulling her leg. His hair was dark brown. Red smiled, exposing some great dimples. “I couldn’t say Fred as a little kid. I said ‘Red.’ It stuck.”