The Merman Boxset: Gay Merman Romance

by Aratare, X.

  Monsters aren’t real. No matter what Johnson says. But he said that Miskatonic was tracking something, something that was here the day my parents died.

  He cleared his throat and tried to banish all thoughts of the thing.

  “You don’t need to get dressed on my and Corey’s account, Grandma,” he found himself saying. “This is your house and Johnson’s your ah, friend.”

  She cast an eager glance out the window towards the beach. Once she caught sight of Johnson a smile curled her lips and she said, “It’s the first time he’s stayed the night. I didn’t intend for him to, but we drank a whole bottle of wine and I couldn’t have him drive home and … well, you see the result!”

  Then it was my grandfather’s robe he was wearing.

  Though Johnson’s interest in him still gave Gabriel a crawling sensation between his shoulder blades, he couldn’t share that with his grandmother. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—think about the fact that Johnson’s interest was warranted. He was a Mer and he had been compelled to the spot where a monster had waited for him—No! That wasn’t real! It couldn’t have been! Gabriel ran a shaky hand through his hair.

  And what if I’m wrong about Johnson being a bad guy? What if he really wants to help me? What if he’s just really bad at showing it? He saw the sheer joy in his grandmother’s face as she regarded the professor through the window. I’d be destroying my grandmother’s happiness. I can’t say anything until—or unless—I’m sure. Not to her anyways.

  Considering all this, he touched her arm, squeezing it gently as he said, “Again, this is your house and you can have whoever you want spend the night.”

  “Oh, Gabriel, I know, but Johnson’s the first man I’ve felt this way about since your grandfather died and you’ve just come back here and—”

  He interrupted her gently, “No need to explain or worry. It’s totally fine, Grandma.”

  And I sincerely hope I’m wrong about his motives for getting to know you.

  Also, if Johnson wasn’t a bad guy, it would be good for his grandmother to have as much support as she could after Gabriel went into the sea.

  I’m going to have to tell her soon that I’m leaving. How do I explain all this without her thinking I’m crazy?

  Looking into his grandmother’s warm gaze he felt a sense of despair. How would she ever understand him turning into another species and leaving her? Facts. Logic. Irrefutable proof. That’s what he needed to offer her.

  So I need to literally show her. She has to see the physical changes in me with her own eyes. That means getting wet and letting her see my gills.

  He surreptitiously stroked his hands down his sides. Nothing there but soft skin and the ridges of his ribcage. But he knew that the gills were there. He could almost feel them fluttering beneath his palms.

  But I can’t just show her the changes in me and have that be it. She needs to meet Casillus, too.

  The Mer was so clearly other and wonderful that maybe, somehow, she wouldn’t be as devastated that her only living relative was leaving her to go with him.

  At the thought of the Mer, Gabriel realized that he still had their bond shut down. He immediately opened it and got hit by a blast of emotions from Casillus. Concern, worry, anxiety, then overwhelming relief that Gabriel was back. Gabriel actually had to grab the counter to stop himself from rocketing back from the force of Casillus’ emotions.

  “Gabriel?” his grandmother asked, her eyes widening in alarm at his sudden physical reaction.

  Gabriel? Casillus sent at the same time, making it feel like he was hearing his voice in stereo.

  Suddenly Gabriel was seeing through Casillus’ eyes as his connection to the Mer overcame him. The kitchen disappeared and the sea was all around him, or rather, all around Casillus. The Mer was swimming out beyond the drop off, where the bottom sloped from ten feet deep to over fifty. Behind the Mer the sea floor continued to pitch steeply downwards to over a hundred feet deep, and it got even deeper than that farther out.

  Casillus was treading water near the water’s surface. Sunshine, bright and golden, streamed down and lit up everything around the Mer. The water was a brilliant aquamarine blue. There were schools of orange and yellow fish with velvety looking black stripes swimming in huge groups. They flashed from visible to nearly invisible as they darted around the Mer, showing their sides and then their fronts. Deeper in the blue water, down on the sea bottom, there was the prow of a vessel, a ruin of a sailboat encrusted with coral. For one terrible minute Gabriel thought it was his parents’ boat, even though he knew it couldn’t be for many reasons. His vision snapped back to the kitchen. He blinked as everything swam sickeningly for a moment.

  “Gabriel?” his grandmother asked again. She had grabbed his arm, and that had brought him back to himself.

  “I—I’m okay. Just stubbed my toe,” Gabriel lied as he focused on being in his own body and not the Mer’s. It was a struggle to do so while Casillus was mentally holding on to him so tightly.

  His grandmother winced as if she felt his fake pain. “I hate when that happens. Go sit down while I make breakfast.” She cocked her head to the side as a creaking sound came from above. “Oh, Corey’s awake, too! Looks like all my men are up and bound to be hungry.”

  “Corey is like a bloodhound when it comes to your pancakes,” Gabriel said with a shaky smile. He kept seeing blue water behind her head. He blinked furiously and the yellow painted walls of the kitchen returned.

  Gabriel gratefully sat down at the kitchen table and spread his hands out on the surface, palms down. His hands were trembling. He balled them into fists and took a deep breath. Casillus’ emotions and his own were both running through him as fast and furiously as a fire fed by gasoline. He took another deep breath and felt Casillus do the same. They both had to calm down.

  He sent to Casillus, I’m all right.

  Thank the Great Ones! Casillus cried. The Mer thoroughly checked him out over their bond.

  I really am all right. But are you? Gabriel asked even as it felt like the bond was a live electric wire that kept zapping him with every word from Casillus.

  Do not worry about me. There was silence for a moment, and then Casillus said, My emotions have harmed you. The force of them was too great! Casillus immediately tamped down further on the strength of the emotions flowing over their bond, but the Mer’s shredded nerves were as clear as day to him. Forgive me. I was just so very worried, Gabriel!

  Please don’t apologize, Casillus. I can feel that I did more than just worry you. A shudder went through Gabriel. Casillus was swimming in a tight, anxious circle to try to burn off his need to have Gabriel in his arms. Only that physical contact would fully heal the wound that being cut off mentally from Gabriel had caused. I had no idea that shutting down the bond would hurt you like this. I’ll explain everything in a moment. I just need to—

  Talk to Grace. Yes, I know. I am fine now that you are connected to me once more, Casillus completed. But the Mer was obviously not fine, though he was trying to hide that.

  Gabriel recalled his own earlier bizarre behavior, like when he had almost confessed to Johnson that he was a Mer. Clearly, it hadn’t only been him who was adversely affected by the bond being shut down. I’ll be right back. I promise.

  You are not going anywhere, Gabriel. Your mind stays with me so long as we keep the bond open. I do not need to be your sole focus.

  I’ll never close the bond down again. Never. I swear it.

  Taking another deep breath, Gabriel asked his grandmother, “Can I help you at all?”

  He already knew she would refuse the offer, which was good, because with his shaking hands he would likely just get flour all over the place. That wouldn’t be helping her. It would just be making more work.

  She shook her head. “No, Gabriel, you sit right there. I love cooking for the three of you. It makes me feel very homey and happy.”

  “I’m—I’m glad,” Gabriel said.

  “You do look a lot bett
er compared to last night.” She gave him a thorough once over as she measured flour for the pancake batter.

  “I feel better. You don’t have to worry about me.” He drew his hands into his lap. “When Corey and I … when we leave for good … will you be okay?”

  “Leave for good? You make it sound like moving into an apartment for your senior year is leaving for another planet,” she laughed.

  “You have a full life, don’t you? I mean even if I’m not around,” Gabriel said awkwardly.

  She had just finished cracking a few eggs into the bowl when he said that. She turned towards him fully again. She put her hands on her hips and sighed. “Aren’t we a pair?”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “Both worrying about the other,” she said.

  “I just want you to be happy. No matter what,” Gabriel said, picking at the seam of his shorts.

  “No one can be happy ‘no matter what,’ but I do promise to be as happy as I can be,” she said. She poured him a glass of cold milk and set it in front of him. “Now drink that while I cook.” She ran a hand through his hair and kissed his temple. “I love you so much, Gabriel.”

  “I love you, too,” he said. His throat felt tight with emotion. He quickly blinked back the tears that welled up in his eyes.

  She went back to the counter and began whisking the ingredients together for the pancake batter. He was able to turn his attention back to Casillus fully.

  I’m so sorry I closed off our bond, Gabriel said again. Johnson startled me by appearing like that. I—I felt like I was protecting you by doing it.

  I understand, Gabriel, though you do know he does not have the ability to hear us? Casillus pointed out gently, though there was a thread of hurt in it.

  It was so stupid! I knew that in my head, but in my heart I was afraid. I just wanted to keep you safe. It was a foolish thing to do and I should have at least realized how worried you would be when I went silent, Gabriel said. I never thought I would hurt you like I did.

  You were there and then you were … gone. It felt as if one of my limbs had been cut off, Casillus confessed softly.

  Gabriel shut his eyes for a moment in shared pain and apologized again. I felt something like that as well. Words are not enough to express to you how sorry I truly am.

  You did not know. You thought you were protecting me, Casillus said as if he were reassuring them both. I surfaced and saw you speaking to Johnson so I knew you were still there. That was a relief, though I could tell that he was upsetting you—

  So you WERE watching me? Gabriel thought back to his belief that Casillus was looking after him. That he was not alone.

  Of course. Always, the Mer murmured. Gabriel wanted to apologize profusely again, but Casillus asked, What did he say to you, Gabriel? What did he say to upset you so?

  At that moment, the screen door’s spring gave out a loud squeak as Johnson came back inside. His gaze zeroed in on Gabriel, assessing, studying, looking for something. Gabriel found himself sitting up straighter and then quickly looking away from the professor.

  Monsters don’t exist.

  What, Gabriel? Casillus asked.

  Nothing. Just … nothing.

  If you are sure …

  I am. Don’t worry, Casillus. I’m really fine. Gabriel hoped that was true.

  Gabriel had hoped Johnson would stay outside for a while longer. The thought of being in the same room with the former military man while he communicated with Casillus still made him uneasy. He could go elsewhere and speak to the Mer, but if he did, he would lose precious time being with his grandmother. After all, soon he wouldn’t be able to sit at the dining room table with her anymore, or taste her pancakes, or listen to her hum as she cooked. So he continued to sit at the table in his mother’s old spot and watch his grandmother move around the kitchen with practiced ease.

  Gabriel, what did Johnson say to you? Casillus repeated.

  Gabriel refocused himself, studiously ignoring Johnson, and pretended to zone out watching the sunrise through the screen door to the porch. He said he wanted to help me. That he wouldn’t call me crazy no matter what I told him.

  Help you? He cannot help you. Casillus sounded nettled, as if he thought Johnson was horning in on his territory. Gabriel suppressed a smile at the trace of jealousy he also detected in his tone. And would he truly not find you “crazy” if you told him of people that live under the water?

  Gabriel caught Johnson’s gray eyes on him again. No, I don’t think he would. To himself, he added, Because he believes in monsters.

  “That smells delicious, Grace.” Johnson finally turned towards his grandmother and the tension in Gabriel’s shoulders eased.

  She immediately started patting her hair with one hand while still holding a spatula in the other. “I’m just melting the butter for the pancakes, Johnson. I haven’t cooked anything yet, you silly man.”

  He went over to her side and put his hands on her hips. He kissed her cheek. She reached back and linked their fingers together.

  “Butter. Mmmmmm,” Johnson said. His gaze, though, slid back to Gabriel.

  Gabriel quickly looked away from him again, hunching his shoulders. His heart was pounding once more. He found himself saying, Casillus, don’t surface anywhere near the cottage.

  I would ask why, but I already know. I can see it in your mind, but also, I saw it for myself.

  Saw what? Gabriel tensed.

  After you went inside, Johnson was looking at my footprints. The ones that led into the sea.

  Yes. I think he saw you disappear beneath the waves and I think he knows about the Mers, Gabriel confessed. His heart pounded sickeningly again as his gaze flickered to Johnson, but the professor and his grandmother were busy speaking softly to one another. From his grandmother’s pink cheeks and smile, it was likely something romantic. Nothing about him. Nothing about Mers or monsters.

  Because of this archeological site he is investigating?

  The site was an amazing archeological find. It was a previously unknown Native American settlement with structures the likes of which had only been found in Egypt or South America until now. The temple that was at the heart of the settlement referenced a mysterious people from the sea who the Native Americans had exchanged gifts, and perhaps even people, with. An inscription had been found in the temple indicating that this seafaring tribe were more than human, and Gabriel wondered if they were actually Mer like Casillus and himself. When pressed, Johnson hadn’t dismissed the possibility of such creatures existing.

  Casillus continued, Last night, Johnson said he would keep an open mind about the possibility of mermen existing, but it seems unlikely that he would leap to the conclusion that mermen exist simply from seeing me.

  It was Gabriel’s own argument and it was a good one, but Casillus had not experienced Johnson’s intensity as he had told Gabriel that story. He hadn’t heard the absolute certainty in Johnson’s voice as he said that joining Miskatonic had been the best way to protect humanity. He hadn’t heard about the thing that Johnson had tracked from the base to the area where Gabriel’s parents had died. Gabriel hadn’t yet told him about the tentacles.

  You’re right, but I still have this feeling that the site confirmed something he had already guessed, Gabriel said slowly. It was such a strange conversation. He told me this story.

  What story?

  Immediately, Gabriel imagined something miles high with tentacles lumbering onto land, compacting the earth beneath its massive, unnatural bulk, then crushing the station and dragging it into the sea. Would it have released Kane before the destruction, or had it killed the young man, too? His imagination didn’t answer that. Slick sweat coated his upper lip. He didn’t know if that was what had happened to the station, yet he didn’t share any of these thoughts with Casillus. He was afraid that Casillus would know what the thing was, would confirm that it was real.

  Instead Gabriel asked, Have you ever heard the phrase “music of the deep?”
r />   Where did you hear that? Casillus asked sharply. Gabriel felt the Mer’s body go still before he started treading water furiously to keep from sinking.

  In Johnson’s story, this young man started hearing something over covert listening devices in the ocean. He went crazy, I guess, from hearing these sounds. He called it music of the deep. Soon after, the station where he was assigned was destroyed. Utterly destroyed in a manner that Johnson and the US military couldn’t explain. Gabriel paused. I thought maybe this music of the deep was you … us … the Mers.

  No, the music of the deep is not from the Mers, Casillus answered. Gabriel could almost feel the weight of all that Casillus was not saying.

  Does the music have something to do WITH the Mers, though? Gabriel pressed. He did not want to believe that the Mers had anything to do with sending a young man mad and destroying a military base, but he had to know the truth of it.

  No, not exactly, Casillus answered. Gabriel heard the loud swish of his feet in the water as he moved anxiously. He did not like this topic.

  So the music is a real thing? And if the young man, his name was Kane by the way, if he heard this music was he part Mer? Gabriel pressed.

  He must have been if he heard it. No human could hear the music and not die immediately. Yet another of our children lost. Casillus sounded so forlorn.

  Johnson thinks he didn’t die.

  Even if he did not, he is still lost to us ... and everyone, Casillus answered, and his voice was bleak. We did not find him in time.

  In time?

  Gabriel, there are things—so many things—that I have not had a chance to tell you about the Mers yet, Casillus said. But I promise I will. You are very special.

  I thought every Mer was special? Gabriel joked uneasily. Being a “normal” Mer was special enough for him. He was unnerved that a young man who had gone insane and this music of the deep could have any connection to him.