Jaden Baker

by Courtney Kirchoff

  “Oh thank God!” she said, crying. “Oh my God,” she sobbed. She pulled Jaden into a tight hug and rest her head on the top of his. “Oh God,” she kept saying, shaking as she cried.

  Jaden didn’t pull away until he saw Derek coming. He pushed against Jenny, but she wouldn’t let him go.

  “Are you okay, Sport?” Derek asked him.

  “Lemme go,” he said, pushing harder. Jenny relented but kept him in a one armed embrace. He stared uncertainly at Derek.

  “It’s dangerous out here at night,” Derek said.

  “Honey, his hands are bleeding,” Jenny said, taking them into her own.

  “He ran out in front of the car,” the cop said, sauntering forward.

  “My God, Jaden,” Jenny shrieked, and hugged him again.

  “Ryan told us what Finn said.” Derek eyed him, he didn’t look angry. “That kid’s a prick. I probably would’ve hit him too, if I was you. It wasn’t okay, but I get it.”

  Jenny led Jaden into the car, and he found he was too tired to resist. She sat in the back seat with him, holding him to her, running her hand through his hair. Derek made phone calls to his friends, announcing they’d found him. Jaden stared blankly ahead, his head sore, his hands stinging.

  When they reached the house, Jenny took him into the bathroom and cleaned his hands. He sat on the bathroom counter and watched her work. She kept sniffling and wiping her tears. Derek leaned against the doorway.

  “How’s your head?” he asked.

  Jaden shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

  “You’re quite the runner. Where were you going?”

  He didn’t answer because there wasn’t one.

  Jenny wrapped gauze around his hands then took him to his bedroom. He followed her numbly. Derek took the rear. Jaden sat on the edge of his bed and stared. The Kauffmans held each other and studied him.

  “Can we get you anything?” Jenny asked.

  Jaden shook his head.

  “Are you sure, honey?”

  He sighed.

  “Okay. We’ll leave you alone,” she said. They started to leave.

  “Are you going to send me back?” Jaden asked, his voice cracking.

  They returned, kneeled, and looked up at him.

  “Oh honey, of course not,” Jenny said. “We would never send you back. We want you here. We want you to stay.”

  “What if you change your mind?” he asked.

  “We won’t change our mind,” Derek said firmly. “That Finn is a jerk. You’re not going anywhere, kiddo, that’s a promise.”

  Jaden nodded, but wasn’t sure he believed them. He’d tried strangling someone. Finn deserved it, but still... Yet the expressions on their faces were genuine. There was no way to explain how he knew: tonight he was safe. What tomorrow would bring, he didn’t know. For now, Jenny and Derek told the truth. He was allowed the night.

  “Okay.” He crawled in bed and lay down, clutching Bear to his chest.

  Derek and Jenny looked at each other, then she said: “Do you want me to stay with you?”

  “What?” Jaden asked.

  “You want me to stay with you tonight, so you’re not alone?” She sat next to him and rubbed his shoulder.

  He turned on his side and stared at her. “Okay,” he said.

  She crawled in and put her arms around him, holding him close. He rest his head on her shoulder and shut his eyes, feeling warm. He fell asleep.

  three

  Jaden kicked off the covers when he woke, feeling sickly warm. California sunlight was oppressive, surging rather than streaming through the window. The light scorched his eyelids and put his sweat glands into overdrive. He pushed himself up in bed and reached for the shutter louvers, but like the door yesterday, they closed without his touch.

  He checked the room, searching for spying eyes. He thought he was alone until the toilet flushed. When he heard Jenny turn the faucet for the sink, Jaden jumped out of bed and rubbed his head.

  He had to stop doing that. Whatever it was would get him in trouble. Thankfully she hadn’t be in the room when it had happened. Granted a reprieve.

  Jenny came from the bathroom, yawning.

  “You’re up,” she said, going to him and brushing his hair off his forehead. “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yes,” he said, which was perfectly true. He’d had a dreamless sleep and was feeling great this morning, except for his sore head and leg, stinging hands, and strange dilemma of spontaneous moving objects.

  “Oh good,” she said. “I’m going to go change and make breakfast. French toast again?”

  Jaden nodded and she left, leaving him alone, giving him time to think.

  Last night had been good news bad news. On the one hand, he’d proven to the Kauffmans he could interact with other people his age, and wasn’t so damaged he’d need intensive therapy sessions for the rest of his life. He got along great with Ryan.

  On the other hand, he’d been violent, something he hadn’t done before. Finn deserved exactly what he got, but now the Kauffmans knew he was a) sensitive about his mommy issues, and b) a little unstable, as he nearly strangled someone.

  He pulled off his shirt and blue jeans from yesterday and decided to take a shower. Telepathy would be a nice skill to have, so he could read the Kauffmans’ minds. They said they wanted to keep him, but trying to kill someone was probably on the con side of the pro and con list when it came to taking in an older child. A squishy baby they’d raised themselves might not have tried to kill Finn.

  Derek had said that he understood, that Finn was a prick and a jerk. Did his violent display show his human side? Maybe it was a good thing he’d reacted as he did. Maybe it proved he was a normal human being.

  He’d been trying so hard to play the role he thought Derek and Jenny wanted, he’d forgotten to try and make himself comfortable. Since arriving, all he’d done was put on a show, worried that if he slipped up or did something not in line with their image of who he should be, they would send him back.

  Jaden washed and rinsed, then turned off the water. He decided it was not time to panic. He would play it cool, try to relax, not bring up what happened last night and pretend it didn’t happen. He would look ahead, not behind.

  The mirror was foggy, so he wiped it with his hand and stared at his reflection. They knew what they were getting, didn’t they? They knew he would be a challenge, not as easy as a fresh human. He combed his wet hair then dried himself, tossed the wet towel in the bin, and dressed in his new clothes.

  Derek and Jenny had gone to a lot of trouble, he thought as he stared around his room. His room. They had gotten him his own bed, bought him new clothes, asked him what he wanted for breakfast and had tried to get him to make friends. To fit in.

  And how had he repaid them? He ran at the first sign of trouble, after he’d done something bad, assuming Derek or Jenny would hurt him, when they had given no sign of that kind of behavior before.

  They assumed the best of you, and you assumed the worst of them.

  Jaden felt guilty. He had looked for their past sins, thinking they were hiding something, that one day or night they’d harm him. Yet they had shown nothing but trust and affection.

  A clinking sound came from downstairs. Jenny was beating eggs for French toast.

  Because she likes you.

  Priorities had to be set. Looking at it scientifically, the more worried and panicked he was, the worse the issue became. Reason dictated that if he was able to feel comfortable, genuinely comfortable rather than faking it, the nameless issue would hide itself once again, laying dormant until it was required (if ever).

  When Jaden entered the kitchen, Derek and Jenny were talking happily about some episode on television they’d seen. Derek greeted him with a hearty good morning, and Jaden gave one back. Because he liked them, too.

  “Can I help you?” he asked Jenny.

  “Sure. You can set the table. Thanks, Jaden,” she replied, opening the drawer containing cutlery and plac
e mats.

  They sat at the small dining room table, and the Kauffmans each reached out one hand for Jaden to hold when they said grace. Jaden took their hands and bowed his head but kept his eyes open and watched them recite a prayer.

  “Amen,” he said with them, then he dug in to his French toast. Maybe the reason he thought the Kauffmans were corny or cliché was because that’s what people did. Maybe it was average, normal, for people to eat breakfast around a table after saying grace. Maybe it was ordinary to read the news or books in the morning. They were neither paranoid, frightful, or rude. Their attitudes matched the order of the neighborhood in which they lived.

  “We were thinking,” Jenny said over a mouthful of toast, “we could go to the bookstore today and get some new books for you. We know you like to read, but we’re not sure what.”

  Jaden took a huge bite of toast and nodded. “That sounds great,” he said. He put another piece of toast on his plate and reached for the syrup.

  It slid a few inches into his open hand.

  Jaden looked around. Derek frowned at him thoughtfully, then shook his head and continued with his toast and e-reader.

  He poured the syrup then set it down, holding his breath as he pushed it away from him.

  “Juice?” Jenny asked, holding up a pitcher of orange juice.

  Jaden nodded.

  I’m going to pick up my glass with my hands, he thought. Then I’m going to put it down. With my hands.

  And so he did. She poured juice, he picked up the glass, drank some, and set the glass on the table. Nothing remarkable happened. He sighed.

  “What are you reading?” he asked Derek.

  “Just the news.”

  “Oh,” Jaden said.

  Now I’m going to have another piece of toast. I’m going to pick up the fork in my hand, stab a piece, put it on my plate.

  He did so.

  Then I’m going to pick up the syrup, pour it, and set the syrup bottle onto the table. Derek will assume he imagined it and will think nothing about what he saw before.

  “Are you okay?” Jenny asked as he poured the syrup.

  “Yes,” he said, and replaced the syrup onto the table. He paused, grabbed his fork and continued with his breakfast.

  “You look like you’re trying really hard,” Derek said, smirking. “It’s just breakfast.”

  He dripped syrup down onto his pants. He dropped his fork and went to grab a napkin, when the whole napkin tray slid across the table to him.

  Trying to act casual, as if this happened every day in dining rooms across America, Jaden picked out a napkin and dabbed at his jeans. His face was hot, and without looking up, he was sure Derek and Jenny stared, mouths gaping.

  A thousand curse words, all in different combinations, strung themselves together in his head, vying to escape through his tightly sealed lips. Whatever it was was getting stronger, happening more frequently and out of his control. Actually it only happened when he wasn’t thinking about not doing it.

  Jaden picked up his fork, though no longer hungry, and continued to eat, chewing the toast mechanically and doing his best to be easy-going. He tried thinking of something he could talk about in the news, but didn’t know what.

  In his peripheral vision, Jaden saw Jenny and Derek staring widely at each other, their eyes flicking back and forth to Jaden, to each other, and back again. Derek had his fork midway to his mouth and Jenny clenched her glass of juice so hard her fingers were white.

  The phone rang. Saved by the bell. Literally.

  Jaden looked up because the Kauffmans jumped in their seats, Jenny sloshing juice on the table, Derek almost stabbing himself with his fork. The three of them stared at each other as the phone rang a second time, no one daring to speak first.

  “I’ll get it,” Jenny said. Jaden watched her answer the phone and listened to the conversation.

  “Hello? Oh hi, Ed.”

  Oh great, Finn’s daddy.

  “Yes we’re here.” She looked over at Jaden, who did his best to act casual. Her eyes darted between Derek and Jaden, and they were still wide. “Um, sure. Yeah, that would be fine. No, no, we’re just finishing up breakfast.” Pause. “I think that’s a great idea. We’ll see you soon. Okay, bye now.”

  “What did he want?” Jaden asked before she hung up the phone, keeping the subject away from what they were all thinking about.

  “Finn wants to come over and apologize,” Jenny said, as she sat at the table.

  Jaden doubted that. Finn’s parents were probably forcing him to apologize, especially after Jaden booked it last night. They’d probably rounded on him after Ryan relayed how the whole thing went down, and Finn was revealed to be the instigator.

  “Good,” Derek said with feeling. “He started the whole thing. Little jerk.”

  “Yes, but Jaden shouldn’t have hit him either, honey,” she said to her husband, putting emphasis on the pet name. “It’s not a good idea to resort to violence.”

  “I agree, dear, but it’s what I would’ve done.”

  Jenny glared at her husband. “We’re not going to teach him that it’s okay to hit someone, even if they do behave like an animal. Right?”

  Derek glanced at Jaden then back to his wife. “Of course not.”

  “In fact, I think it would be a good idea if Jaden also apologizes. Don’t you agree, my love?” she asked him.

  Jaden bit his lip to keep from smiling.

  “Yes, of course I do, my princess. Whatever you think is best.”

  “I’m so glad we agree,” she said sweetly. She pushed away from the table. “Now, I’m going to get ready for our morning outing and put on my face. Will you two please clear the table when you finish?”

  “Gladly,” said Derek.

  Jenny nodded to him then left for her bedroom. As soon as she was out of ear shot, Derek turned to Jaden and whispered: “Remind me to teach you how to box, so next time you can knock out your opponent and won’t need to choke him.”

  When the door bell rang, Jenny and, grudgingly, Derek escorted Jaden to the door. Before opening it, Jenny bent over and licked her fingers then wiped at a spot on Jaden’s face. He squirmed and rubbed his own cheek.

  “Well you had some crumbies there,” she said.

  “It’s an apology, he’s not going for a scholarship,” Derek said.

  She ignored him. “Do you know what you’re going to say?” she asked Jaden.

  That the next time he talks about my mother I’m going to rip his tongue out, throw it on the frying pan, marinate it with soy sauce, and make him eat it?

  “Yes,” he said.

  Jenny opened the door.

  There stood Ed with Finn. Ed smiled at Jaden, but Jaden did not smile back. Ed patted his son’s shoulders. “Okay, Finn, don’t you have something you’d like to say?”

  Finn stared at a spot on his shoes. “I’m sorry about what I said last night. It was insensitive and inappropriate, and mean-spirited. I will not do it again. Please forgive me.”

  And if you do say that, or anything close to it again, I will shove something up your—

  Jenny nudged him and Jaden cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I tried to kill you,” he muttered, crossing his arms.

  He and Finn glared at each other.

  “Okay, now shake hands,” Jenny said.

  Jaden kept his hands crossed and Finn did not move.

  Ed picked up his son’s right arm and Finn finished the motion, putting his hand out. Jaden did the same and grabbed his hand, shook it once, then dropped it and crossed his arms again.

  The parents regarded each other.

  “Okay!” Derek said. “Thanks for coming over.”

  The three of them backed out of the doorway and Derek shut the door, turning to his wife. “Better dearest?”

  “Yes. Don’t you feel better Jaden?”

  “Oh yes, so much better,” he said with the biggest fake smile he could muster. He blinked at her and she grinned, ruffling his hair affectionatel
y.

  “All right smarty pants, go get in the car.”

  The journey to the bookstore was spent discussing what everyone liked to read, and then Jenny and Derek reminisced about the books they read and enjoyed when they were Jaden’s age. He didn’t have the heart to tell them he preferred different sorts of books. Instead he went along, eager to keep the conversation on something other than him.

  But Jaden had a feeling that as soon as both Derek and Jenny had gone upstairs to their bedroom to prepare for the outing, they talked about what had happened at the breakfast table. He imagined Jenny flailing her arms and Derek’s eyes popping so wide they might roll out of his head, bouncing on the floor. Their conversation about books was a distraction, and Jaden tried thinking of a planned response when the inevitable questions would come.

  He expected the Kauffmans to be big bookstore patrons, but they parked in front of a building that reminded him of a vet’s office, perhaps because it was across the street from a pet store. Jaden hopped out of the car and waited for a silver suburban to pass before running through the lot. Jenny and Derek came into the store after, holding hands.

  Jaden picked up a basket and headed to the young adult section, picking up a few books, reading the backs, and putting them in his basket. The Kauffmans joined him but gave him plenty of space, and examined their own favorites.

  A tall and burly man was talking on a cell phone around the corner. Jaden knew this wasn’t a library, but he thought the same rules should apply. He glanced at the man and the man glanced back, nodding and waving a little as he did so, then moved away, speaking softer into his phone.

  Jenny rifled through Jaden’s selection, nodding her approval, then added a few of her own to his stash. “You know, us getting you books is not rewarding you for what you did last night,” she said. By the way she said it, Jaden knew it had concerned her all morning. “With Derek going back to work next week and me needing to work myself, you’ll have a lot of free time on your hands. That’s why the books. We’ll get you a library card for our county on the way home as well.”