Unforgivable Cin An Opera in Three Acts (Cin Fin-Lathen Mysteries Book 5)

by Alexie Aaron

  “Cin, this is as tough on me as it is on you.”

  “I didn’t want to go to the opera. I did it for you. You left me to play dick with the soprano. I’m sorry your image of me is tainted by my having Kyle die on top of me.” I stopped talking. Dave didn’t respond, but I could hear him breathing. “Harry and I, we’re going to figure this thing out, clear your name, and then, Dave, I never want to see you again.”

  Frequentato

  “I’m having hallucinations,” I told Dr. Andrews. I told her about approaching Dave in the parking lot and about the phone call with Tony. I described, with bitter detail, everything that happened after. Maybe admitting to drinking with the biker gang wasn’t my best move.

  “Tell me about the waking dream when you were in the bathroom.”

  “I thought I had thrown up blood, Kyle’s blood. Harry didn’t find any blood anywhere. I told him I had Kyle’s blood coming out of my mouth.”

  “You bit Kyle, didn’t you?”

  “Yes. I thought that would make him give up. I drew blood. I could taste his blood as he… as he…”

  “Cin.”

  “As he killed me. Why is that so hard to say?”

  “Cin, I can’t tell anyone my dress size. Your confession is a bit harder.” She gave me a cursory examination. “You look good. Your eyes are a bit puffy, but I expect you’ve been crying a lot.”

  “Yes. I need to fix this.”

  “Fix this? You can’t fix this. You have to survive this,” Dr. Andrews stated. “I’ve spent some time with other victims, and the fact that you’re up and investigating is amazing.”

  “I’m not good at sitting still,” I admitted.

  “Have you remembered any more of the attack?” Dr. Andrews asked.

  “No.”

  “Your subconscious is blocking it. Your mind wants to protect you,” she explained.

  “I want to know what I’m blocking,” I said. “I think there’s something that I heard or saw that will help catch Kyle’s killer. Can you hypnotize me?”

  “I can, but I don’t think it’s wise. Give yourself time to heal.”

  “I don’t have time. The wrong man is being fitted up for this. I also want Detective Curtis here when you do it.”

  Dr. Andrews looked at me. She studied my face a moment. “Why Curtis and not Buslowski?”

  “Because Buslowski can’t get the image of me lying there with dead Kyle on top of me out of his mind. It’s not going to help him, hearing me relive it.”

  “You’re still protecting him, even after he let you down?”

  “I’m a handful. Not meant for a mortal man. I’d like to get this behind me. How soon?”

  “Let me talk to Detective Curtis, and I’ll schedule it. Cin, I’m not sure this is good for you.”

  “I’ve got to face it. I relive part of it every night in my dreams. I don’t feel safe in my own home. I’ve got to stand up for myself.”

  Dr. Andrews nodded. “I’ll call you. I want to speak to Harry before you leave.”

  “Harry?”

  “You did give me permission to talk to him.”

  “Yes, I did,” I remembered. I walked into the waiting room and said, “Harry, she wants to talk to you.”

  He got up. He stopped and put his hand on my arm. “Are you alright?”

  “Getting there.”

  “Wait inside here. The neighborhood is too ritzy. I can’t have you walking around exposed to that kind of riffraff.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said, trying not to laugh. I sat down and picked up a magazine and lost myself in the world of architecture.

  ~

  “Bernice called,” Harry said as we were driving. “She wants to know when you’re coming back to the band.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Okay.”

  “I tried to play my alto. All I see is Kyle’s face. I can’t even see the music because I’m crying so hard.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry, Harry. I know you’ve got the worst of it. You get to pick up the pieces.”

  “Cin, you’ve always been there for me. We’re family.”

  “Yes we are. That’s why I want to get through this. I want to get a clean bill of health so I can petition to adopt you.”

  Harry pulled the car over. He hugged me. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, Alex and Noelle think it’s a good idea.”

  “I’m not a minor, Cin.”

  “I think there are ways to get around that. Aside from marrying you, which I won’t, I’m going to make you one of the family.”

  “I am honored and I accept. What would my name be?”

  “Whatever you want it to be, except Lathen. You can be a Fin or O’Rourke or a hyphen of the two names. This way, when either of us is in the hospital or in jail, we can act for each other. I want to be responsible for you. You’ll inherit a third of whatever I don’t spend on shoes.”

  “I love you, Cin,” he said.

  “I love you too, Harry.”

  “What does Buslowski say?”

  “There is no Buslowski, Harry,” I said quietly. “Let’s get home. I have to pee.”

  “Cin, you need to give him a chance.”

  “I thought I had,” I said and turned away and looked out the window.

  Harry got the hint. He turned on the radio and drove home.

  We arrived to find an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Harry pulled the car in the garage. I got out and approached the vehicle. Tony got out.

  “Nice car,” I said.

  “It’s the department’s. I’ve come to collect you.”

  “Am I being arrested?”

  “No. I have to take you in to fill out reports. We discussed this on the phone.”

  “Oh, I forgot. I thought you were part of the hallucination I was having at the time.”

  “Please come, Cin. I don’t want to have to get mean. I can arrest you on suspicion of being an accomplice to the murder of Kyle Martel.”

  I stood there flabbergasted. “He assaulted me, and he killed me.”

  “You’re not dead, Cin. You survived,” Tony said softly.

  “K, let me change out of my shrink clothes and pee.”

  “Dr. Andrews called me. She mentioned the hypnosis, and I think it’s a good idea. Is tomorrow too early?”

  “Talk to Harry, he keeps the appointment book,” I said and ran into the house. I really did have to pee. My standoff with Tony was making my bladder very angry.

  I pulled on a soft sweater and a pair of the new pants I’d bought. They had already gotten a little loose. I looked at my face, and it seemed a little angular. I brushed my teeth because I was stalling. I reached into the medicine cabinet and pocketed my pills, just in case I got tossed in the slammer. I wanted to have enough to get me through the night.

  I walked out to find Harry and Tony in the kitchen. Tony was drinking an iced tea while listening to something Harry was telling him.

  “I’m ready.”

  Tony looked over at me and frowned. I checked my zipper. It was up. “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re not putting on any weight.”

  I thought of something mean to say but held my tongue. The guy was trying to be nice. “I’m having a hard time getting used to only having two thirds of a stomach. I have to take these,” I pulled the pills out of my pocket, “so I don’t get too upset. When I get upset, I barf. So let’s keep it chill on the drive over.”

  Tony looked at the anxiety pills and the pain pills and handed them back to me. He jotted them down in his notebook.

  “I remember that,” I said. “Harry, you remember his little notebook, on the stage? That seems so long ago… I saved your life,” I said smugly.

  “I’m very aware of that, Cin. I’m trying to save yours.”

  I nodded and followed him out to his car. I expected it to be filled with fast food bags, but it was showroom clean. I went to get in the back and he asked, “Where are you going?”


  “Don’t I have to sit in back?”

  “No.”

  “Cool.” I waited until he opened my door, and I slid into the front passenger seat. There were lots of gadgets between him and me. I rolled down the window. “Hey, Harry, I get to sit in the front with all this amazing stuff.”

  Tony rolled the window back up. “Put on your seatbelt, please.”

  I did so and made faces with Harry until we drove off.

  “You two drive me nuts,” Tony admitted.

  “But you love us, don’t you?”

  “Love is not exactly the word.”

  I was surprised we didn’t get on the tollway. I had assumed we would be going to his office. When he pulled into the sheriff’s department lot, I panicked. “What are we doing here?”

  “They’ve given me an office for this investigation.”

  “I don’t want to be here. Dave’s here.” My stomach lurched. “I have to get out now, Tony.”

  He stopped the car, and I got out and vomited in the bushes. He pulled the car over to give me some privacy. He walked around and handed me a bottle of water. I rinsed my mouth out. “Sorry, I can’t help it.”

  “What happened to you and Buslowski? He behaves very similarly to you, but he just turns green.”

  I couldn’t tell him we had been together, so I lied, “Things are not as they once were. I’m too broken, Tony. Don’t press it, please.”

  “Fine. Come on, get back in and let me pull the car closer. There’s a chance no one saw you puke but the inmates.

  I got out and smiled as I heard a few catcalls. I looked up and waved.

  “Ms. Fin-Lathen, stop that,” Tony ordered.

  “Yes, detective,” I said, falling into character.

  We went through security and then took the elevator up, and damn, if we didn’t walk down the hall and right past Buslowski’s office. He was in there. I didn’t make eye contact, but I could feel him in there. Tony stopped a few offices over and unlocked a door. We entered a pristine office.

  “Please have a seat. I’ll be right back.”

  I sat down and played with my phone. I checked my messages. There was one confirming the hypnosis session tomorrow at ten. There was another female’s name on the list of participants. I paged over and found out that she was a stenographer from the court. “I bet this is going to ruin her day,” I said aloud.

  “Sorry, were you talking to me?” Tony asked.

  “No, myself. I was just looking over the list of people at my coming out party.”

  “You’re very brave to do this.”

  “I have to know what happened. I have to clear Dave.”

  “Does he know you’re doing this?”

  “Not from me he doesn’t. The shrink, aka Dr. Andrews, thought I’d like to have him there. Bad enough you have to watch me get mentally peeled, but Dave? Nope, nada, never.”

  Tony studied me a moment. He got up and shut the door. “I know, Cin. Dave told me.”

  “Told you what?”

  “That you two aren’t together anymore.”

  I sighed. “Yes, I think that, under the circumstances, I’m spoiled goods,” I said through my teeth. I bounced my leg to get my emotions in check. “Could we get this over with? I’m not doing so well, and I don’t want to be put away. Unless they have a padded cell in the tower?”

  Tony sat down next to me and took both of my hands in his. “I’m sorry. Today, I’ll just have you look over the statement you gave me in the hospital and see if everything on it, to the best of your knowledge, is correct and complete, and if not, we’ll add it. Tomorrow, we’ll deal with the last assault.”

  “Thank you, Tony, um, detective.”

  “Cin, Tony is fine, but if some big cheese wanders in, you better use…”

  “Dick?”

  Tony laughed. He pulled out a folder and handed me the statement he’d taken from me. There it was, the most horrible night of my life, transcribed into print. I couldn’t help my hands shaking as I read through it and stopped. “It says here that Ryan came back. He didn’t. It was Pello who tried to debase me in the alcove. Ryan never came back to my knowledge. I’m sorry if I said otherwise.”

  “No, that’s my error. Please continue.”

  “The exit doors were chained. You know that heavy metal stuff with a shiny lockset?”

  “How can that be so clear?”

  “I thought it was my salvation, but all it did was force me deeper into the building, farther away from the banquet hall.”

  Tony typed in the changes.

  “They shouldn’t have been locked, emergency doors, should they?” I asked.

  “They were open when Ed and Bill got there,” Tony said offhandedly.

  “I didn’t imagine them, Tony.”

  “I know, Cin. I believe you.”

  I finished the paper. I saw where we stopped. “Do you want me to continue now or wait until tomorrow?”

  “It’s up to you.”

  “The reason I want Dr. Andrews to put me under is, there is something just out of my memory’s grasp. I remember tiny pieces. A strong scent, too many footsteps. What was the gargling sound?”

  “Cin, some men make sounds when they ejaculate. Just because he didn’t enter you… He could have masturbated.”

  “I’m not that experienced, but it’s not exactly what I’ve heard.”

  There was a tap on the door. Tony got up and slid out. I could hear him. I could hear them.

  “You can’t be here,” Tony said. “She’s barely holding it together.”

  “She doesn’t look good.”

  “How should she look, Dave? She’s had her life ripped apart. She was brutalized, choked to death, and the poor thing has to put up with me discussing what men sound like when they cum. It’s no picnic in there for either one of us.”

  I wanted to die. I walked over to the desk and began typing in the missing parts as best as I could remember them. I didn’t want to hear their voices anymore.

  Tony walked back in and stood behind me while I finished.

  “I don’t know where to put in all that being brought back from the dead nonsense, so I put it on a word document.” I got up and sat back down in the other chair.

  I didn’t know the door was cracked. I didn’t know he stood there looking down at me.

  I pulled out my pills and asked for some water. Tony got up and handed me an unopened bottle. I eased out the anxiety dose and debated about the pain pill. “How long do you need me sharp?”

  Tony looked over. “Thirty minutes.”

  “Okay, I’m going to take these, but don’t send me home in a cab. I don’t mind a uniform. The pills make me sleepy, and I make bad judgements when I’m on them.”

  “Does the doctor know?”

  “Dr. Andrews knows. You’ll like her. After the session tomorrow, tell me who she reminds you of.”

  “Sure.”

  I took the pills and drank them down with half the bottle of water. My leg stopped bouncing. “Am I really suspected in luring Kyle to his death?”

  “No.”

  “You said that to get me here. Well played, Moriarty.”

  Tony laughed. He hit print and left the office to retrieve the copies.

  I wouldn’t look out the open door. I sensed him near. It smelled like him, but maybe Tony wore the same cologne. I put my hand on my chest. My heart actually hurt. I had to pull it together for just a few more minutes, and I would be free. Tony bustled in and handed me the papers. He pointed to the new additions, but, me being me, I had to read all of it again. It was fine. “Where do I sign?”

  Tony pointed out where.

  I signed the document. As I set the pen down, blood started dripping on the paper. Tony wasn’t upset, so I knew I was hallucinating again.

  I shut my eyes tight. My hands started shaking. I tried to calm myself by breathing slowly in and out.

  “Cin,” Tony said concerned.

  “Tony,” I whispered hoarsely. “Th
ere was so much blood. Oh God, he’s choking me. I can’t breathe!” My arms flailed before me. I opened my eyes, and Kyle was standing there. “At least we die together,” he said, smiling. I stood up to run away, and I fainted.

  “Hello, beautiful,” Ed said, shining a light in my eyes. “How about you looking at Bill? He’s wearing a new uniform just for you. And now over at Tony. That’s your blood on his shirt. You cracked your head on his desk. Tony said you took one of each of these.”

  “Yes.”

  “They shouldn’t have made you this dizzy,” Ed said, jotting them down in his report.

  “I’m seeing things, Ed,” I said.

  Ed leaned in and said, “Tell me what you’re seeing.”

  “Kyle. He’s standing between Bill and Tony.”

  “He’s here now?”

  “Yes.”

  Ed moved between the two. “Is he still here?”

  “No.”

  “Cin, I think we need to bring you into the hospital for some tests. You’re having hallucinations.”

  “Next stop, the crazy farm,” I said.

  “No. You were hit hard enough by that table to cause you a lot of problems. Hallucinations can be caused by swelling. Maybe the hospital overlooked one area while they were saving another. Kyle is not here, honey. I took his sorry ass to the morgue myself.”

  “I was there,” Bill said.

  Ed put a hand on my shoulder. “He can’t hurt you anymore. I’m going to give you a shot. Eventually, you’re going to sleep. It will be a dreamless sleep, I promise you. I have to get your blood pressure down.”

  “K. Somebody call Harry, please.”

  “I’ll do it,” Tony said.

  “Make sure they let him in,” I said as the power of the drug pulled me into a nice dreamy haze.

  Bill wheeled me out of the office. I saw a blur of uniforms and heard raised voices. Bill, sensing my agitation, leaned over. “Ed’s giving Tony and Dave hell at the moment. Your frequent flyer points are giving you the deluxe ride down the elevator. And here comes Ed. Everything okay, Chief?”

  “Idiots. Cin’s got a tiger of a protector. He wanted to ride along, but Tony has him on a ten-foot leash. How’s she doing?” Ed asked.