07 It Had to Be You

by Jill Shalvis

  “Nothing to tell.” She shrugged and began to search for the fertilizer. “My mother isn’t exactly maternal.”

  “And your dad?”

  “Not into kids. I landed here like Amy. Eighteen and pretty much on my own.”

  “Richard took you under his wing.” He scratched his jaw as he studied her. “But you said he wasn’t exactly the warm, loving, parental type, either.”

  “He cared enough.”

  “Then your ex came along, right? Just another in a string of people who were around but not really around. Not attached to you.”

  She set her teeth. “I’m not a pity case.”

  “I didn’t think you were. Tell me more about Matt.”

  Her frown deepened. “I was young and stupid. Nineteen,” she admitted when he just looked at her, his eyes warm and patient. “I kept forgiving him, thinking he could change.”

  “Forgiving him for what?”

  “You name it.” She turned to the door.

  With surprisingly gentle hands, he turned her back. Then stroked a strand of hair off her face, running his finger down her jaw. “Other women?”

  “Well, I did say we were young and stupid.”

  “Sounds like he was the only stupid one.”

  “Funny, coming from a man who’s never had a serious relationship in the two years I’ve known him.”

  “And have you?”

  She closed her mouth.

  “See, you say you follow your heart, Callie, but it seems to me like you’ve burned it out.” He smiled. “I have a suggestion.”

  “I’m afraid to hear it.”

  “A good, long, hot spring fling. No strings.”

  “Gee, wherever would I find a man up for that job?”

  He grinned at her wry tone as he lifted a hand. “I readily volunteer.”

  “How noble of you.” Despite everything, she was more tempted than he could ever imagine. Desperately needing a distraction, she continued to search the shed and finally found the two bags of fertilizer. She tossed him the first, then bent for the second when she heard his low grunt of pain. She whipped around.

  Eyes closed, face tight, he dropped the bag and leaned back against the wall, holding his shoulder.

  “Oh my God, Jake, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think—”

  “Not your fault.” This came out through his clenched teeth. Sweat had broken out on his brow as he sank to the ground. “I shouldn’t have reached out to catch it.”

  She went to her knees beside him. “Let me—”

  “No. I’m fine.” He shifted away. “Just give me a sec.”

  The man had probably never shied away from a woman’s touch in his life, but that was when the touching was on his own terms. Clearly he was humiliated at not being able to even catch something, and she felt like slime for putting him through it. “I’m so sorry—”

  “Car,” he said tightly.

  “What?”

  “Car just drove up.”

  She heard it now, coming up the driveway. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and rose to her feet. “It must be Michael. He was going to come out for a ride. Wait here a sec, and I’ll be right back—”

  Jake grabbed her wrist. “He wants you.”

  “Jake.”

  “Just remember one thing if you’re going off with him.”

  “I’m not going—”

  “One thing.”

  She sighed. “What?”

  “This.” Tugging her back down, he cupped her face and kissed her, hard and wet and deep, making her moan low in her throat.

  “Your shoulder,” she gasped.

  “Fuck my shoulder.” And he slid his tongue to hers in a motion that melted her bones. Sliding her arms around his neck, she held on for dear life because when he kissed her like this, like she was better than sliced bread, she couldn’t remember why it was a bad idea to fall for him.

  He raised his head a fraction, looking at her with heavy-lidded eyes before coming at her again, with a roughness that shouldn’t have excited her but did, beyond belief. There in the damp, small shed, she clung to him, tangling her tongue with his, pressing as close as she could get. She’d have climbed up his body if she could.

  “More,” he muttered, and changed the angle of his kiss, settling his mouth firmly over hers again, gripping her head as if he thought she might pull away. Not a chance. In fact, she struggled to get even closer, so that they fell, her spine pressing into the ground, Jake towering over her. His hands slid beneath her shirt, covering her breasts while his erection pressed hard at the juncture of her legs, his hips moving in a slow, tight, rocking motion that threatened to drive her right off the edge. She wanted to make the leap, nearly did—

  But suddenly, he ripped his mouth free. Sliding his hands out of her shirt, he sat back on his heels. With a murmur of protest, she tried to draw him back but he shook his head, his breath coming out in pants. “Someone’s here.”

  From outside came a honk, and she realized she’d forgotten Michael. “Oh my God.”

  He helped her up, her eyes dark and hot. “Can he do that to you?” he murmured, the pad of his thumb brushing over the pulse racing at the base of her throat. “Can he?”

  “N-no.”

  “Good.” Eyes lit with a fierce desire that made her weak, he kissed her one last time, his hand skimming down her throat, over her pumping heart, his fingers rasping over a hardened nipple. “Remember that.”

  She doubted she could forget.

  Together they stepped back out into the bright sunshine, and looked at the red convertible Mustang. A gorgeous blond woman leapt out of it. Callie’s first thought was that one of the cheerleaders was arriving late, but then the woman saw Jake and bounced up and down, waving wildly. “Jake! Jake, I can’t believe it, I found you!”

  Shocked, though not sure why, Callie looked at Jake. “That’s not Michael.”

  He sighed. “No.”

  “Jake! Over here, over here!”

  “She appears to know you well,” Callie said dryly, while her heart took a dive. Her mouth was still wet from his, for God’s sake, and she swiped the back of her hand over it.

  “Yeah.” He turned to her. “Callie—”

  “Your blonde finally arrived.” Good timing, too, she told herself. Because she hadn’t fallen for him, at least not yet.

  13

  A piece of Jake’s world had found him. A hot little piece he’d been with twice named Cici. He hadn’t intended to ever see her again, but she was hugging up to him as he showed her around the ranch at her insistence. She wore a denim miniskirt and vest, complete with calf-high boots, matching hat, and glitter on her lips. Her idea of roughing it in the country, no doubt.

  “Oh, Jake.” She threw her arms around him, making him see stars when she jarred his shoulder. “I’ve been haunting the fire station since you vanished.” They passed the pig pen, and several piglets raced to the gate hopefully. Cici scooted close to Jake, an alarmed expression on her face. “Oh, ugh. Anyway, finally one of the guys told me I’d find you on your own dude ranch, with the word Blue in the name, somewhere in Arizona.” She laughed, and for the third time in as many minutes, set her head down on his bad shoulder. “You weren’t hard to find after that.”

  Grimacing, he pulled free, even as he had to admire her tenacity at finding him. “Watch the shoulder, okay?”

  “Oops, sorry. So…” She waggled her eyebrows at him. “How’s the rest of you doing?”

  Only a month and a half ago he’d have acted on that unmistakable invitation in her gaze. But seeing her out here on the ranch, so far out of her element and away from his, was far more disturbing than arousing.

  They passed the hen coop. Cici squealed when she nearly stepped on a questionable looking lump of something that was definitely not dirt. The hens squawked and ran off.

  Finally they came to the big house. Callie stood on the porch, shading her eyes from the sun as she watched them head toward her.

  “Not exactly
friendly, is she?” Cici whispered.

  She had been, Jake thought, only a few moments ago. “She’s busy.”

  Cici looked around her at the open, rugged country, at the rocky, dry mountains and the ranch around them. “What is it you people do out here all day long?”

  How many times had he wondered the same thing? A hundred. A thousand. But now he knew differently, knew exactly the work it took to keep this place going. “The guests go on horseback expeditions, or hike. There are some historical monuments to visit, and—”

  “Wow. You sound like a real cowboy.” They came closer to Callie now, and Cici smiled up at her. “I’d love to go to my room and freshen up.”

  Callie’s return smile could only be called such because she bared her teeth. “As Jake might have mentioned, we’re fully booked.”

  “But it looks so empty around here.”

  “Everyone’s gone right now, but the rooms are theirs for several more days.”

  Cici turned to Jake. “My flight out of Tucson isn’t until tomorrow night. If I turn around now, I’ll have to drive through the desert in the dark by myself.”

  Jake grimaced, then appealed to Callie. “Isn’t there—” She crossed her arms, and he broke off. “No,” he guessed.

  “I’d think you’d at least try,” sniffed an insulted Cici. “For your boss’s girlfriend.”

  Oh boy.

  Callie’s gaze positively froze over now. “If, as the boss”—she said this in a carefully neutral tone that made Jake wince—“Jake wants to share his room with you, that’s none of my concern.”

  And with that, she turned on her heel and headed back up the steps to the front door.

  “I don’t mind sharing,” Cici said.

  The front door closed with a finality that made him wince. He managed a weak smile. “Great.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Amy heading toward the barn, and an idea occurred to him. “Just a sec—” He ran toward Blue Flame’s youngest and most enigmatic employee.

  Amy watched him as he came to a stop in front of her. “Tucker gave me stuff to do in here,” she said, gesturing to the barn. “So I’m not breaking any rules—”

  “Can I borrow your cabin tonight?”

  “Huh?”

  “I had a friend come into town unexpectedly and I was wondering if she could stay in your cabin tonight.”

  Amy’s gaze cut across the yard to where Cici stood, trying to examine the bottom of her high-heeled boots without falling over. “Is that her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you going to fire me if I say no?”

  “What? Of course not.”

  “Then no.”

  Dejected, he went back to Cici.

  “Why don’t you show me your cabin?” she asked, her eyes dark and sultry as she rubbed up against him.

  Of all the nights for Tucker to be gone. He considered breaking into Stone’s or Eddie’s cabin, but in the end he opened his, managing to dodge Cici’s advances only because the dinner bell rang.

  Amy served the two of them in the dining room, a simple dinner of chicken and rice. It might as well have been dirt and rocks for all Jake could eat. Afterward, he excused himself and searched for Callie. He found her in the weight room, attacking a punching bag as if her life depended on it. She wore a sports bra and spandex shorts snug to her body. Her skin glowed, and he had the insane urge to lick her. “You missed dinner.”

  “And you have glitter on the corner of your mouth,” she said, before resuming her massacre of the punching bag.

  “I didn’t kiss her, damn it.” But he swiped at his mouth and looked at his hand. Indeed, he had glitter all over him.

  “Go away, Jake.”

  “Yeah.” But only because he didn’t want this conversation—and there would be a conversation about it—to be interrupted by Cici, which would only make it worse. With a sigh he went back into the dining room.

  “I’m ready for bed,” Cici said.

  “Dessert first.” He had no idea if there even was dessert, but Amy served ice cream, and because she did, letting him delay another thirty minutes, he forgave her for not taking Cici off his hands.

  “Now?” Cici asked when she’d finished.

  “Coffee,” he said desperately.

  “No coffee.” She stood, dragged him up. Smiled.

  Unable to delay any longer, he took her back to the cabin, and they stared together at the bed and the futon. “You can have that one—”

  “I thought we’d share.” She slipped her arms around him, finally careful of his right shoulder. She snuggled up, nibbled on his ear, and he actually closed his eyes, remembering the last time she’d done that, and how well it had turned out for him.

  But this time, nothing happened, not even a spark.

  “Jake?”

  He’d been so desperate and hungry for something from his world, and now look at him. He wished his world had stayed away. “Let’s go to sleep, Cici.”

  She grinned at him, but it slowly faded at the look in his eyes. “You mean…?”

  “Sleep.” He plopped down on Tucker’s bed, leaving Cici his own. Closing his eyes, he sighed. He’d either entirely lost his mind, giving up a night with this woman…

  Or he’d fallen for another. He didn’t like either prospect.

  The cheerleaders returned, happily declaring it’d been the best trip ever.

  Callie was glad for it, even if she had to listen to stories from the boys about their escapades. Cici left, and Callie was glad for that, too. She hadn’t been happy with the odd feeling that surged through her every time she’d looked at the woman, or late last night, when out the window of her cabin she’d seen the lights go off in Jake’s.

  She had a terrible feeling it was jealousy, and that was what bothered her the most. Since when did she want a man who drove her crazy at every turn? A man who wasn’t planning on sticking around?

  Just looking at him kick-started her heart, damn it. She’d spent too much of her life waiting for someone to love her. That wasn’t self-pity talking, but fact. But the hell with that, she didn’t need anyone but herself.

  Only by diving into work and keeping everyone swamped with it as well did she manage to avoid talking directly to Jake for a few days. If she wasn’t mistaken, he’d been just as eager to avoid her.

  That was both a relief, and hard on the ego, but she decided to stick with relief.

  On the morning of the cheerleaders’ last full day, Michael showed up with donuts, and found her alone in her office. “Sugar fix?”

  “Please.”

  He waited until she’d taken the box and was perusing her choice. “We’ve been friends for a long time,” he said.

  Smiling, she picked an old-fashioned glazed. She took her first bite and hugged him. “So long I can’t remember what it was like before you.”

  His eyes were solemn when he pulled back. “I hope you mean that.”

  “Of course I do. You going riding?”

  “In a minute. Callie, I can tell you what I think, even if it might hurt you, right?”

  Her smile slowly faded. “Absolutely. Unless you’re going to repeat yourself and tell me I’m putting too much of myself into this place.”

  “Well…”

  Her donut stuck in her throat and she set the rest down. “I don’t think I want to hear this.”

  “When Richard was alive, this place didn’t consume you. You were happy to just work here. You took more time for yourself. For me.”

  “Oh, Michael.” She brushed off her fingers and put her hand on his.

  “I miss you, Callie.”

  He’d been her first real friend, the first person to know her, to care about her. He’d been there for her through her marriage to Matt Lowell, and through its demise. He’d been there through Richard’s death. She figured he’d always be there. “Everything is the same as it’s always been.”

  “Everything, yes. But not you. You’re putting it all into the Blue Flame, your heart and soul,
everything. You’ve got nothing left over for anything else. Or anyone.”

  “It’s my home.”

  “It’s your job. You aren’t your job, Callie.”

  “It’s more than a job for me.”

  “Because you feel you have nothing else.” He cupped her face. “But that’s not true, you have plenty. All you have to do is look around and see it. See me.”

  “Michael…” She didn’t know how to do this. She didn’t want to hurt him. She loved him. “I can love the Blue Flame and give it my all, and still have the life I want. I’m living it.”

  “Yes, but at what cost?”

  “At no cost.” She put her hands on his wrists, trying to compel him to understand. “I thought you knew how much the Blue Flame means to me.”

  “I do know, but it is costing you. It’s costing you happiness.” He lifted his hands from hers, and shaking his head, backed away. “It’s costing you me.”

  “No, it’s not.” When he just looked at her, eyes so solemn, she let out a disparaging sound, her throat burning as she lifted a finger. “Don’t you make me choose.”

  “You’ve already chosen.”

  “Michael—”

  He came back toward her, and once again put his hands on her arms, pulling her back into him. She expected a hug, so she was shocked when he kissed her, his lips warm and firm on hers.

  With everything she had, she tried to feel something, anything. She would have welcomed it for a man who would never hurt her, but it didn’t happen, and he pulled back.

  She stared up at him, seeing everything he felt for her, the magnitude of it all over his face, and her eyes filled.

  He closed his. “You felt nothing. Not even a tingle.”

  Her heart cracked. “Not nothing,” she whispered, “But…not what you felt.” And no tingle. “God, Michael. I—”

  “Don’t be sorry for what you don’t have to give me.” He looked at her for a long moment, his gaze running over her face, and then he walked out.

  Callie couldn’t get Michael’s expression out of her mind. She stressed and worried over it for a good long time, until something happened late that afternoon to distract her. She was in the kitchen going over a shopping list for Amy to take into town. They had a big group barbeque planned for the cheerleaders, and needed some supplies.