Wreck Me (Nova #4)

by Jessica Sorensen

  “You just seem… happy,” Nova remarks as I type my mother a text.

  Me: Report him to the police for God’s sake. I told you this last time. It’s important that u do.

  “Is there something wrong with that?” I ask as I put my phone away. I make a mental note to call my dad tomorrow morning when he’s off work to have a chat with him about reporting Dylan, since my mother’s instability is starting to become more evident.

  “No, it’s good.” She slides the handle of her purse over her shoulder. “Actually, it’s really good.” The smallest amount of emotion creeps into her voice, and I swear, if I look close enough, that guilt she carries inside her over me has slightly diminished.

  “Yeah, I think so, too,” I agree, oddly relieved that maybe, just maybe, she might not be feeling so guilty anymore.

  While we share a moment of understanding, I remember how much I thought I loved her once, to the point that it felt like my entire world would be destroyed if I couldn’t have her. Now, I don’t have her and it feels… well, right.

  Nova clears her throat. “But anyway,” she says. “Are you ready to get this show on the road?”

  “Yeah, just as long as you’re okay with driving me. It’s been a long day for you.”

  She’s giving me a ride to work, then she has to go to work herself, so I feel kind of bad.

  Nova beams as she gathers her keys from the table. “Oh, Tristan, don’t be ridiculous. I’m ecstatic to be driving you to your first job for the third day in a row,” she says. “And you look good, by the way.”

  I have one of my nicest T-shirts on along with a pair of jeans, and I smell like cologne instead of cigarette smoke. It’s probably the best I’ve looked in a long time because it’s the first time in forever I’ve cared about my appearance.

  “Thanks, but it’s not my first job.” I collect my wallet from the top of the television then follow her out the door and into the humid air. “I’ve worked before… Well, I guess this is my first legal job, though.”

  Nova throws a glance over her shoulder at me as she steps outside, her blue eyes sparkling in the dwindling pinkish sunlight. “And you should be very proud that you have a real job now.”

  I close the door and lock it behind me. “I am, I guess.”

  “No guessing.” She sternly points a finger at me. “You are proud.”

  “Okay, I am proud.” I tuck my wallet into my back pocket as we start toward the cherry red Chevy Nova in the middle of the gravel parking lot. “Although, I have to give Avery almost all the credit. She got me the job by vouching for me.”

  “She’s so nice, although she does seem really stressed out sometimes.” She stops just short of her car and turns to me with her brows dipped. “Do you ever wonder why she needed the home?”

  “Yeah, all the time.” I pause. “Why? Do you know something about it?”

  She hurriedly shakes her head. “I’d really like to spend some time with her though, and find out, if nothing else, for you.”

  “Why would it be for me?”

  “Because you have feelings for her. I can tell.”

  “That’s absurd. We’re just friends, and I’m kind of okay with that. Happy even. Things feel… good.”

  “And I’m glad they feel good, but I don’t believe for one second you two are just friends, no matter how many times you both say it.” She walks backwards, facing me as we continue toward her car. “And even if you are just friends, you kind of remind me of the way Quinton and I were just friends right after he got out of rehab. We’d always just talked—we had the best conversations ever—but the entire time, I kept thinking about how much I wanted more. Eventually, it just happened.”

  Just the thought of that occurring between Avery and me causes untamed desire to pulsate through my body. My heart crashes against my chest like I just did a line of meth.

  I want Avery. I’ve known that since the day I first met her. But…

  “It’s not going to happen. We have a rule so that it won’t.”

  Nova lets what I said sink in and then she erupts in laughter. “Okay, well, that pact is going to be broken eventually. I can tell you that right now. You, my friend, are a rule breaker. And I’m guessing by the way Avery looks at you sometimes, she’s going to be a rule breaker, too.”

  “Nova, she doesn’t want the rule broken. She’s been through stuff… things that…” I shouldn’t be talking about this with her, because I’m not sure if Avery would want me to. “But anyway, yeah, we’re just friends and that’s all she wants from me.”

  “Fine. You’re just friends,” she agrees, more to appease me than anything. “It’s amazing how much you two have to say that.”

  Giving up, I sigh and start for the car again. “Come on, or I’m going to be late.”

  I make it about two steps before I hear my name being called out. My body goes as stiff as a board as I turn to find the neighbor jogging toward me. I have no idea how he figured out my name other than I must have told him when I was drunk. I don’t like that he knows it.

  “So, do you have the money?” He’s out of breath by the time he reaches me, hunched over, gasping for air as he clutches his knees for support.

  I tell myself to remain calm, even though my instincts beg me to tell this guy to go fuck himself. “I’ll have the hundred by Tuesday.” I refuse to look at Nova, because I don’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes. “I’m getting paid then.”

  He straightens up, his face pallid, his pitted cheeks red. “I told you it was five hundred.”

  My fingers curl inward as I stab my nails into my flesh, fighting to keep my temper under control, something I’ve rarely done in the past, never thinking ahead. Now I am. I’m thinking about work, about seeing Avery at the bar, about spending time with her on Sunday, getting to see the ocean for the first time.

  “And I told you there wasn’t five hundred in that bag,” I say as coolly as I can. “And you’re delusional if you think I’m going to give you extra because you owe this Skullman dude or whatever.”

  “You’re walking a dangerous line,” he warns, shooting a harsh glance from Nova to me. Then his bloodshot eyes darken and he inches toward me, lowering his voice. “You better watch it or stuff might happen.”

  An invisible rubber band snaps inside me and all my restraint flies right out the window. I slam my hands against his chest and shove him back. “You better watch it, or I swear to God—”

  “You swear to God what?!” he shouts as he recovers his footing and barrels back at me. I move toward him, too, knowing firsthand that his druggie body is no match for me when I’m sober. When he realizes he’s not scaring me, he shifts his direction and backs away toward the motel. “You have no fucking idea who you’re messing with. And when you do find out, that pretty little face of yours is going to be fucked up.” He spins unsteadily on his heels then makes a crooked path back to his room.

  “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath as I turn to Nova.

  Her eyes are so massive that they magnify all her fear and distress. “What was that about?”

  “Nothing.” I signal for her to follow me as I stride toward the car, more irritated with myself than anything. I’ve been doing well and shouldn’t be dealing with this crap anymore, but it’s like trouble follows me. Always has.

  God, what would Avery think of me? I really need to start making better choices. The thought strikes me out of nowhere, and I’m not quite sure what to do with it or where the hell it came from.

  “Tristan, don’t shut down on me,” Nova demands, her sandals scuffing against the gravel as she jogs to catch up with me. “You can’t shut down.”

  “I’m not shutting down.” I skid to a stop when I reach the car. What the hell do I tell her? Lie or admit the truth? The truth will reveal my cracks, and Nova will open them up even further because that’s what she does.

  Lie?

  Truth?

  Old Tristan?

  This weird, new sober one?
<
br />   Honestly, I kind of like the new one, which is really fucking hard to admit. After years of self-loathing, holding on to everything bad I’ve done, suddenly I don’t want to feel the pain of my past anymore.

  I open the passenger door. “Get in and I’ll tell you what happened.”

  I wait until we’re driving down the highway toward The Vibe before I spill the truth to her. By the time I’m finished, I feel a bit better about the situation. Not great, because I still have to deal with our neighbor, but okay.

  “Do you even know who this Skullman is?” Nova asks after I’ve finished explaining. We’re nearing the edge of town, the trees on the sides of the road shifting into sidewalks and small stores.

  “I don’t even know the neighbor’s name for God’s sake. He just showed up out of nowhere, demanding his drugs.” My head flops back against the seat, and I close my eyes. “I never should have dumped that bag down the toilet.”

  She’s quiet for a minute, and when she speaks again, her voice is gentle yet firm. “Yes, you should have.”

  I open my eyes and look at her. “Okay, I don’t mean for this to sound rude, but are you crazy?”

  Her knuckles whiten as she grips the steering wheel and gives me a sidelong glance. “No. I just know that, the longer you kept that bag, the more likely it would have ended up in your bloodstream than in the sewer system where it belonged.”

  “I messed up.” It’s all I can think to say. “Just like I always do.”

  “Everyone messes up, Tristan. It’s how we deal with the mess ups that define us.” Her attention returns to the road as she makes a turn down a side street. “You chose to dump the drugs because you knew it was the best thing for you to do.”

  “And because of Avery,” I add without any forethought.

  “Yes, with Avery’s little push, you did make that choice, and I love her for it. But, in the end, it was your choice, Tristan. You made it. All by yourself.”

  “Yeah, but now I’m supposed to, what? Just overpay the dumbass neighbor for drugs I didn’t even do because he threatened me? Because I don’t want to.”

  “Then don’t.” She downshifts as she slows down to pull into the packed parking lot of The Vibe. Almost all of the spaces are filled, and there are vehicles even lined up against the curb.

  “Jesus, there’s a ton of people here tonight,” Nova mutters as she cranes the steering wheel, maneuvering the car into a compact space near the back door employees enter the bar through.

  After she shifts into park, she revolves in her seat to face me. “Here’s what we’re going to do. When you get home, we’ll all pile in what money we can afford. Then Quinton and you will go over there, give the guy his hundred dollars, and tell him that’s all he’s getting.”

  “I don’t want you or Quinton involved in this.” I unclick my seatbelt and let it unwind. “This is my problem.”

  “You’re our friend, so it’s our problem.” When I open my mouth to argue with her, she cuts me off. “Tristan, whether you’ll admit it or not, you helped out Quinton and me in the past, so now we’re going to help you.”

  I roll my eyes. “More like the other way around.” I reach for the door handle to get out, but her fingers enclose around my elbow before I can get anywhere.

  “That day on the roof with Quinton, when you forgave him and thanked him for saving your life… You helped save him, Tristan. And you never blamed him for what happened to your sister, and he needed that.”

  “Yeah, well…” Yeah, well, what, Tristan? What is your arguing point on this one?

  “Good, then we have an agreement.” As her fingers leave my arm, she sits back in her seat.

  “I’m going to pay you guys back every penny.” I flip the handle and push the door open. “I promise, Nova. I don’t want to be that guy with you two—the one who gets into debt over drugs.”

  She smiles tolerantly, and I know it’s going to be a pain in the ass paying her back, but I will do it because I need to do it, need to be better than the old me.

  “I’ll pick you up at one.”

  “Thanks, Nova.” I climb out and step into the busy sounds of the people and bustle. Avery was right when she said Friday nights were intense—there are so many people waiting to get in, the line winds around the building. “And I mean that. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiles as I close the door then she backs away.

  I make my way down the alleyway toward the back door, smoking my last cigarette for the next couple of hours. Once I’m inside, I clock in then stop by the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face, trying to shake off what happened; not just with the neighbor, but with Nova. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want them getting involved in my problems, but a part of me is grateful I’m not alone in this, like I have been for years.

  It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. This isn’t like the last time you got yourself into a mess.

  I exit the bathroom and start down the hallway, stopping just short of the bar. If I thought the noise outside was intense outside, it’s nothing compared to the inside. Music is booming through the stereo system and people are packed from wall to wall. The only gap of space is behind the bar where Avery and Charissa are working like crazy to fill drink orders.

  Like magnets, my eyes lock on Avery. She’s wearing a tight, white tank top and cut off denim shorts. Purple strands of her hair frame her face while the rest is pulled up into a loose knot on the back of her head. I can see the tip of the tree tattoo peeking out from her shirt. Every time she bends over to grab a beer from the cooler, her shorts ride up and her ass cheeks peek out of the bottom, giving me a good glimpse of that flower tattoo on the back of her thigh. It’s a nice ass. A really, really nice ass. Perfect enough to give me an instant hard on. God, the things I could do to that ass.

  I probably stand there a little too long, admiring the view, before I push my way through the crowd and toward the front door. I end up taking an unnecessary route behind the bar, so I can stop by and say hi to Avery.

  As I move up behind her, I find myself oddly nervous as the desire I felt earlier pours through me like a lethal dose of heroin.

  While I’m checking her out, resisting the urge to grab Avery’s ass and kiss her neck, Charissa glances over her shoulder at me. She gives me a quick wink and a discreet glance in Avery’s direction, as if giving me her approval. For what exactly, I’m not sure, but I have a couple of ideas. Why I react on these ideas, I have no clue. Maybe it’s because I’m horny as hell and haven’t had any in months. Or perhaps it’s that I’m attracted to Avery more than I have been to anyone else. Or maybe it’s just the simple fact that I want to touch her, get close to her, breathe her in, just have her anyway she’ll let me.

  Dipping my mouth close to Avery’s ear, my fingers graze the sliver of skin between her shirt and shorts. “Hey,” I whisper.

  “Holy fucking shit!” She jumps, dropping the bottle opener and spinning around. Her eyes are wide, her lips parted, and she’s breathing wildly. “Jesus,” she breathes, pressing her hand to her ravenous chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “Sorry,” I apologize, but then I bust up laughing.

  She narrows her eyes at me. “You think it’s funny?”

  “Yeah. You would, too, if you saw the look on your face.” My laughter silences as I realize how close we are. Our chests are pressed together and our hips could easily grind against each other’s like they did in the alleyway. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to say hi.”

  “Hi,” she says then shoos me away. “Now go away. You’re throwing me off my game.”

  I don’t budge. “What game?”

  “The ‘I Am a Sex Goddess’ game.” She puts her hand on my arm and gives me a gentle shove. “The one where I get a lot of tips.”

  That’s when I realize just how low cut her shirt is, way more revealing than what she wears to the jobsite and weekdays when she’s at the bar.


  My gaze travels to the cleavage peeking out. “I’m sure you’ll get a lot of those.” I scratch at my neck as I steal another glance.

  “Did you seriously just check out my chest?” She pushes me again, her cheeks flushed. “What the hell, Tristan? That is so breaking the rules.” She doesn’t seem very upset. In fact, I think she might be flattered.

  I grin shamelessly. “Hey, you didn’t make a no checking you out rule.”

  She opens her mouth to object then seals her lips shut. “You’re right. I didn’t.”

  My mouth curls to a smug smirk as I recall the sight of her flushed cheeks. “And I think you might secretly kind of like that I was checking you out, which is why you’re blushing.”