Endless Time

by Frances Burke

  Both men rose.

  ‘I do apologize for disturbing you, Lord Antony, but I believe that it lies within my power to do you and your lady a service. Will you spare me a few moments of your time to discuss the matter?’

  He bowed and said coolly, ‘I am obliged to you for the offer, but I believe we shall do better to keep my wife’s difficulties within the confines of the family. She cannot entertain callers while she is suffering from … delusions and memory loss.’ It cost him some effort to maintain a pleasant demeanor, and Amanda acknowledged this with a nod.

  ‘You are in a rage because you have suffered a shock, and because your pride is injured. I comprehend perfectly. But can you not ask yourself whether the sacrifice of a modicum of privacy is not worth your wife’s recovery? If she is mewed within these walls she will decline. She needs to have her mind and memory stimulated by confrontation with people and places and events that were once familiar to her.’ She smiled, dimpling her plump cheeks and turning up the corners of her wide brown eyes. She looked very persuasive.

  Charles ushered her to a chair and stood looking admiringly at her.

  His employer flushed to his hairline. ‘ Madam, I must assume that you have my wife’s interests at heart – ’

  She interrupted without apology. ‘I do, sir. I have conceived a very great liking for Lady Caroline, and I believe, as I said, that it lies within my power to help her.’

  ‘In what way, Miss Crayle?’ Charles put in, swiftly.

  ‘I have concocted a plan. ‘Tis a simple measure, really. With his lordship’s permission I should take his wife under my care, socially, and instruct her in the many things she has forgotten. I can impart information on members of the ton, the ways of society, how to go in public. Driving with her about the town I shall recall to her mind the homes of friends, the situation of such commonly known buildings as churches, libraries, theatres. We shall visit jewelers and modistes.’ Again she smiled. ‘A woman is far more likely to recall the establishments where she ordered her gowns and other articles of adornment. In short, sir, I shall undertake to restore the lady to the full enjoyment of her senses, including the memory she presently lacks.’

  Antony stood with folded arms, thinking. His frowning stare had no effect on Amanda. She sat placidly awaiting his response.

  He noted her self-possession, and the effect it, and she, had upon his secretary. Then, unwillingly, he examined Miss Crayle’s accusation. Was pride at the root of his desire to keep Caroline immured within the house? The good name of his family meant much to him, yet common humanity demanded that in this case he should risk that name. At all events, Caro had already smirched it with her misbehavior. His mouth tightened. It was hard to deal with whispers and innuendos, although God knew he had proof enough. Admittedly, she had recently changed her attitude. Yet, might not her cool wariness be more a result of her failure of memory? He should not add isolation to her sufferings.

  Another, even less savory reason for his reluctance occurred to him. Was he, in effect, punishing Caro by keeping her restricted? He found the idea too distasteful to contemplate. He was not a vengeful man. However, there was no avoiding his dilemma. Caro undoubtedly needed help, as the assured Miss Crayle had pointed out.

  He said, ‘Your suggestion is well founded; but my cousin, Miss Sybilla Frensham, is equally well-positioned to assist. She could go about with my wife and tutor her, as you propose to do.’

  Amanda remained unruffled. ‘I suggest that you try if she will. Let her give thought to the amount of time she would need to spend with Lady Caroline, day after day. She would be forced to forgo many of her own pursuits. Also, if I may speak candidly without offence, Lady Oriel Frensham is in the habit of accompanying her daughter into society, and she is known to be quite out of sympathy with Lady Caroline. Such forced proximity with the lady would not be wise.’

  Admitting the truth of this statement, he said more mildly, ‘My aunt is possessed of a difficult temperament, and I grant you she has an unfortunate way of expressing her opinions.’

  ‘Unbridled, is the word I should choose,’ muttered Charles in the background.

  Antony let that slip by. ‘Miss Crayle, I could not permit you to make such a sacrifice for strangers. You have your own activities to pursue.’

  ‘I do you no favors, Lord Antony. To be seen in your wife’s company can only add to my own consequence. I should also be grateful for the greater freedom of movement accorded me. My mother’s health is such that it precludes her going about as my own companion.’ The dimples appeared along with a mischievous look. ‘I have another, even less noble reason. It may have come to your notice that my disposition is of a somewhat managing nature. I like to teach. The guidance and instruction of an intelligent pupil will please me, while I enjoy the companionship of her intellect.’

  Caro – a woman of intellect? Antony bit his lip. However, the lady had a forthright manner that demanded an equally forthright response; and there seemed no good reason for him to deny his wife this chance for rehabilitation.

  ‘It shall be as you wish, Miss Crayle. You have my gratitude, along with any reasonable call upon my purse. Caroline is expensive and I would not have you out of pocket on my behalf.’

  She nodded matter-of-factly and gathered together her belongings, which included reticule, muff, handkerchief and the shawl dripping fringes at least a foot long which threatened to become entangled about her, like cord around a parcel.

  Charles rushed to assist her to her feet and untie the fringe. She waited with composure while he performed this service. Both men then accompanied her to the entrance hall where Bates waited with her cloak.

  Antony extended his hand. ‘My wife is fortunate in your friendship, and I count myself honored by your acquaintance. You will not hesitate to advise me if you are in need of assistance?’

  ‘You are very good. I shall not hesitate. Now, I propose to call again tomorrow to see how Lady Caroline does, although I do not think she should stir over the threshold in such inclement weather. She is still weak.’

  Placing her cloak about her shoulders, Charles insisted upon escorting her to the carriage. He re-entered the house wet and shivering, but with a beatific expression that amused Antony considerably.

  ‘A charming lady, Charles. Do you not agree?’

  ‘Delightful.’ Without apology, Charles drifted off to his office beyond the library.

  Clearly a stricken man, thought Antony, smiling, and gave orders for his carriage to be brought around.

  Bates stood ready with his hat and the caped greatcoat that would be needed on such a night. ‘Will her ladyship be dining, Sir Antony?’

  ‘No. Have a tray taken to her room when she rings.’ Aware that he sounded curt, he could not bring himself to dissemble. Whatever the reason, Caro’s actions were unforgivable. He could not bear to contemplate what fresh chagrin she might bring upon their marriage with her loss of memory and her known penchant for mischief-making. Amanda Crayle little knew what she had taken on. Yet he must give Caro every opportunity to recover her mind. He must protect her because she was his wife. He must play the role that he had cast for himself, and play it well, whatever the cost.

  *

  As it turned out, Dr. Horbury had been mistaken. Karen’s cough turned to an inflammation of the lungs, and soon she was too sick to care where she was.

  Life was blanked out for a time. Later, when she learned she’d been out of action for over a month, her feelings threatened to overcome her. If time here marched in tune with future time, then her court hearing had come and gone without her. Christmas 1810 had passed while she lay in a feverish stupor. Had Christmas at home done the same? After all her struggle to get Humphrey back before a judge, had she missed her opportunity?

  Numb with misery, she huddled into her pillows and cried for her child. Her arms ached to hold the little warm body. Her mind echoed like a hollow cavern with the knowledge that she might have lost Adele forever.

  Slow
ly recovering from her grief, she lay and fretted, filling in time devising ever wilder plans which, she knew, had no real hope of success. Humphrey’s downfall was first of all contingent upon her return to her own time; and she could see no hope of that at present. Tied to her bed with weakness, she couldn’t even make helpful contacts. And if she could, where was she to start?

  Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a vague idea that someone had offered to help, but she couldn’t think who it might be. After a determined struggle with the elusive memory she decided it was one of the many fantasies that had plagued her during her illness. She’d have to get on her feet as soon as possible and go searching for help, herself. There was no one else she could rely upon in this foreign world.

  By the day she was pronounced convalescent she’d grown heartily tired of the over-trimmed bedroom, and even more tired of feeling like a helpless baby. Evidently visitors were discouraged, as she’d seen only the woman brought in as a nurse, Lucy the maid, and Antony, who had come each evening to enquire meticulously after her well-being, leaving after a few minutes’ stilted conversation.

  Several notes of condolence over her illness had been handed in to Bates and brought by Lucy, among them some so impassioned and specific she felt embarrassed for Lady Caroline. She tore these up in disgust, reflecting that she had quite a reputation to live down.

  Sybilla came, but infrequently. Karen was puzzled by her manner, and eventually taxed her about it.

  ‘Why are you stepping around me as if I’m a live bomb? Is there something I should know, Sybilla?’

  ‘No indeed. You are fanciful, my dear.’ Her smile was somehow not as reassuring as it should have been. She fidgeted.

  ‘I know I’ve been pretty ill. Did I do or say something to upset you? You know I didn’t mean to.’

  ‘You have done nothing to incur censure, I assure you.’

  Karen picked up on that immediately. ‘But I’ve done something, haven’t I? You may as well tell me now. I have to know, sooner or later.’

  ‘I… Oh, Caro, why did you do it? Why did you not confide your distress to someone? I should be glad to do anything within my power to help you, you must know that.’ She twisted her fingers together in her lap, echoing the distress in her voice. Her beautiful face, schooled to its Madonna-like calm, showed only a ripple of the disturbance beneath.

  ‘For God’s sake! What did I do?’ Karen pushed weakly at the bedding, trying to sit up, and inwardly cursed. ‘I hate this room. Whose rotten taste is responsible for it, I’d like to know?’

  ‘Don’t, Caro!’

  ‘Don’t what?’ She glared at the other girl, then realization hit her. ‘Oh, oh. I’m supposed to have furnished in this… this second-rate bordello style, is that it? All right. Just put it down to my memory loss. But what else have I done recently to make you wary of me?’

  When Sybilla simply shook her head, she snapped, ‘Look, I’ll find out if I have to question every person in this house. You’d better tell me.’

  ‘You do not recall the events of that night after you… after you ran away into the streets?

  Karen frowned. ‘I recall dining and going up to bed early, that’s all.’

  ‘You were found drugged and near naked in your bed, with the window wide and water everywhere. Had Charles Hastings not happened to return late and his eye been attracted by your curtains flying in the wind, you would have frozen to death.’

  The silence grew. Karen felt the blood drain from her head. She lay back, fighting desperately against encroaching weakness. What had happened to the old Karen Courtney, strong enough to survive ten years as a state ward, tough enough to stand up to Humphrey’s intimidating techniques?

  Finally she said, ‘I see. And everyone thinks I meant to kill myself.’ Her scornful tone hid the fear that squeezed her heart painfully. Another near fatal incident. Another attempt to be rid of her… or her alter ego, Caroline.

  Sybilla’s face lit. Why did Karen have the feeling that she was not showing an honest response?

  ‘You are saying that you did not mean it so? Oh, Caro, if I could only believe… But there have been so many accidents lately, and your manner so strange. What were we to conclude?’

  ‘Most likely what you do think, that I’m mad and should be put away for my own safety.’

  ‘Never say such a thing! But it would be idle to deny that the thought has occurred to some.’

  ‘Who? Lady Oriel, I’ve no doubt. Perhaps your father and your brother, too?’

  Sybilla hung her head in answer. Antony’s name hovered in the air, unmentioned by either. Moreover, Sybilla herself had failed to declare her belief in her cousin’s sanity.

  Karen’s sudden surge of anger evaporated, leaving her empty. She closed her eyes and wished Sybilla would go away. Eventually she did, leaving ‘dear Caro’ to her unpalatable thoughts, not the least of which was that, as her supposed ally Sybilla didn’t really fill the bill. She could never understand Karen’s feelings; there was no common ground. Bonds of friendship were forged through trust and empathy, and how could the other woman begin to show either, when she was clearly baffled by every word Karen spoke?

  Karen had never felt so totally alone. Her solitary life back home in the twenty-first century had been her own choice. Her failed marriage had given her Adele to love and, even while keeping private her innermost core, she’d moved amongst her own kind, people who thought in the way she thought, who had the same social and cultural backdrop to their lives. Here the background was confusion and the unexpected was the norm. No wonder she felt disoriented.

  Then, at her lowest point, Amanda appeared, holding out a lifeline to her new friend. She settled at the bedside and took Karen’s thin hands in her own, infusing her with her own warmth and vitality.

  ‘I am here to help you, my dear. I am aware of the bewilderment you suffer and I shall disabuse your mind of its foremost burden by informing you that you did not make an attempt to take your life. You have been very ill, and very likely in moments of weakness you have doubted yourself. Never do so. I stand your friend, and you may call upon me at any time in any manner you choose.

  Karen squeezed the hands holding her own, and couldn’t prevent a tear from running down her cheek. ‘Thank you. I could do with a friend.’

  Releasing her hold, Amanda sat back, arranging the ubiquitous shawl which had slipped from her shoulders. ‘Let me tell you of the agreement I have come to with your husband.’ She proceeded to review her original scheme for the regaining of her friend’s memory, giving every reassurance that she would not have to face anyone until she was well-schooled.

  Karen approved. Here was her chance to get out and search for information on… what? On time travel? It was enough to bring on an attack of defeatism, she thought. Who would even admit to an interest in such a thing?

  Amanda’s soft, insistent voice drew her back from her thoughts. ‘There are two other matters we should discuss, the first, and most urgent, being the danger which surrounds you in this house.’

  Karen’s eyes flew to her face. ‘So you suspected, too. Have you any idea who my enemy is, Amanda?’

  ‘I cannot imagine, for I do not know any member of the household well enough to guess at his or her motive for trying to destroy you.’

  ‘What about Antony, my husband?’ She drew a deep breath. ‘He hates me… Caroline, that is. I can see it in his eyes, even when he is saying polite things to me.’

  ‘I do not know. It is possible,’ said Amanda, gently. ‘There is a great amount of hostility under this roof. I have felt it. Some, at least, is directed at you, and you must take every care that the ill-wisher is given no further opportunity to harm you. When you are well again, you should go out into society as much as possible. Do not stay here alone in the house, if it may be avoided. Lock your door at night, and your window. Look carefully before putting foot on the stair. Above all, do not take food or drink that is not shared with others. You must surely have been drugg
ed that night.’

  Karen remembered her suspicion that ‘Caro’ had been dead before falling downstairs. Then she thought of the luncheon tray she’d just sent back to the kitchen, empty.

  ‘I’m getting up today, Amanda. I’m no longer an invalid. Oh, for a good course of antibiotics! I’d have been on my feet weeks ago.’

  ‘No doubt you are speaking of some remedy from your own time. This brings me to the second matter for thought. Do you recall my saying to you that I believed your very unusual story?’

  Karen shot upright. ‘So, it was you! You said you could help me. How could I have forgotten? You are the one person in this place to treat me as a normal human being, Amanda. Why do you believe me?’

  ‘’Tis not easily explained. You must know that I come of a family long gifted with the ability to foresee future events. Some of us may sense certain things about a person merely by handling an item of jewelry that is worn frequently. My father could heal sick animals with the touch of his hand. As a child I was taught to use my abilities in the service of others, although we tried not to speak of these matters outside our immediate circle, for fear of ridicule. It would have distressed dear Mama, who is not psychically aware, and could not understand our “peculiarities”’.

  Karen was interested, but unimpressed. ‘So, you are intuitive, clairvoyant and practice psychometry. Naturally these attributes would give you an interest in esoteric matters, and therefore you’d be more likely to at least examine my story with an open mind, but – ’

  ‘You lack patience, Caro. Allow me to continue. Because of my father, I have had the advantage of certain teachings. I will not go into them. Sufficient to say they have a bearing on my belief in the reincarnation of the soul some time after it has left the body. It is a very old belief and crosses centuries and cultures.’

  ‘I’ve heard of it. It’s quite a hot… I mean, many people in my time take great interest in the theory. In fact, a good proportion of the world’s population believe it implicitly, although I’m not one of them.’