The Rawhide Man

by Diana Palmer

  She looked up at him through her lashes and her heart ran wild. “Did she?”

  He sat beside her, touching her hand, feeling the rings that were back in place. His hand moved to the warm swell of her stomach and lingered there, pressing tenderly. “Are you going to give me a baby, honey?” he asked, looking into her eyes with a warm, questioning glance.

  It was the wording as much as the deep velvet of his voice that made her flush with warmth. She hesitated a second, searching his hard face. Her fingers touched his tentatively. “Yes, I am,” she said after a minute.

  He studied her body in the shapeless gown, learning the new contours of her waistline and stomach, and he smiled gently. But when he looked up, the smile faded. “Couldn’t you tell me?”

  Her fingers lifted and brushed softly across the dark skin and hair on the back of that long-fingered hand. Amazingly, it trembled. “I was afraid,” she said softly.

  “Of me?” he asked, anguished.

  “No!” She looked up, feeling his fingers lock into hers and draw them onto his broad, powerful thigh. “Of making you feel more tied than you already were. I…I thought you wanted Crystal, Jude.”

  “And I thought you didn’t want me,” he said quietly. “You even told me you didn’t.”

  “Because I wasn’t sure of you,” she replied. Her eyes fell to their locked hands. “I never have been. You’re so self-sufficient, so controlled. I never know what you’re thinking or feeling.”

  “That makes two of us.” His fingers contracted. “I put the rings back on, did you notice?”

  “Yes. Thank you. I didn’t mean half of what I said. My emotions seem to have gone haywire lately.”

  His hand freed hers and moved, lightly, reverently, over the soft swell of her stomach. “Does he move yet?” he whispered.

  She smiled shyly. “It’s too soon. You really don’t mind?”

  He smiled back. “No. I told you at the very beginning that I’d like to have a baby with you, didn’t I?”

  “You made some pretty horrible remarks about that,” she reminded him.

  “Self-defense, Bess,” he said quietly. “I told you once that you made me lose control. I’d put a wall between myself and the world, and here you came, knocking out bricks. I didn’t understand that at the time, and I liked it even less. So I fought back, with the only weapons I had.”

  “And now?”

  “Now, I’m sorry I didn’t start off better with you,” he said. “I kept Crystal here thinking that her Frenchman might miss her and come looking. And,” he admitted, “that she might make you a little jealous. If I’d realized how tragic the consequences could have been, I’d have sent her packing the first day. If you’d been badly hurt or lost the baby, I couldn’t have lived with it.”

  “You didn’t know I was going to start screaming over an innocent kiss,” she said ruefully.

  “It was that, for what it’s worth. She was so excited about being reunited with her man that she had to share it. I’m sorry that I let her, now.” He searched her face. “And she was kissing me, not the reverse. I…don’t want other women, Bess. Only you.”

  Her face glowed at his remark, blossomed. His eyes made slow, sensuous love to hers in the silence that followed, and the lean hand across her stomach began to move in whisper soft patterns. His head bent toward her; his eyes glittered with possession. The silence magnified the sound of her unsteady breathing. The moment blazed with promise. His hand started to slide up toward one swollen breast, and her body lifted ardently to meet its ascent while her lips opened to welcome his. His breath caught as his mouth halted, poised just above hers.

  At that moment, Dr. Barnes walked in, all smiles, and flopped into a chair to discuss the baby. Ignoring the flustered embarrassment of the parents-to-be, he gave them the name of a good obstetrician, congratulated Jude and gave Bess some high-powered prenatal vitamins to take.

  “Eat properly from now on,” Dr. Barnes added. “You’re much too thin.”

  “She’ll eat if I have to force-feed her,” Jude said arrogantly.

  She glared at him, and Dr. Barnes laughed. “Good man,” the doctor observed. “You get in touch with this obstetrician, young lady, and make an appointment. Prenatal care is important. If you’re interested in natural childbirth, by the way, the hospital has classes. Your obstetrician can tell you more about that.”

  “I’d like that,” Bess said.

  “So would I,” Jude murmured surprisingly, glancing at her. “We’ll take them together.”

  She had to hide her eyes to keep him from seeing the shock of pleasure the words had given her. After the doctor left, the rest of the morning passed in a wild haze, and before she knew it Jude had checked her out and she was home again.

  From the minute she walked in the door of Big Mesquite, and Katy hugged and hugged her, she felt different. And things were different. Jude strutted around like a proud father, watching her hawklike as if he was constantly searching for something in her expression. And as if his close scrutiny weren’t surprise enough, when the women got ready for church the following Sunday, they found Jude in a gray suit waiting for them downstairs.

  “You’re going to church with us?” Bess asked, astonished.

  He glared at her. “Is there anything wrong with a man taking his family to church?”

  “No, of course not,” she stammered.

  “Then shut up and let’s go, before you make us late,” he said, herding the three of them out the door.

  Katy giggled, but she didn’t let her father hear her, and Aggie just shook her head with wonder.

  The Methodist minister at the church where they attended services looked as if he might faint when he saw Jude sitting in one of the front pews with his family. But he recovered quickly and grinned from ear to ear.

  Bess, sitting beside her handsome husband, felt on top of the world. It was a mark of how far they’d come, for Jude to willingly walk into a house of worship. The cold, hard man she’d married so many long months ago wouldn’t have been caught dead in one.

  He struggled through the songs as if he hadn’t sung in a long time, but he had a rich baritone and Bess thought he sounded wonderful. She smiled up at him mischievously. He turned his head, catching it, and grinned back. It was a small invitation, but more than enough for Bess, who was starving for something even closer than the friendly relationship they had shared since her return from the hospital.

  That night, Bess tucked Katy into bed and didn’t linger as she usually did. Pleading a headache, she excused herself, thinking she hadn’t really lied to Katy. Jude did tend to be one, on occasion.

  She heard water running as she entered the sanctuary of his bedroom, and had to force her nervous legs to carry her inside it. She locked the door behind her.

  Jude’s bedroom had dark Mediterranean furniture, with brown and cream accessories and a huge bed. She flushed as she looked at it, because it loomed large in her plans for the rest of the evening. She tugged the powder-blue satin robe she wore closer around her nudity and walked purposefully into the adjoining brown-and-cream bathroom.

  He was in the shower, with the glass door closed, just rinsing his hair. She sat down on the stool by the door and watched with rising excitement, because the textured glass was almost transparent and she was getting fascinating glimpses of brown skin and thick black hair that arrowed down chest and stomach and thighs.

  Seconds later, the water stopped running and he slid open the door. And froze.

  She smiled at him, forcing herself not to back down now. “Hello,” she said softly.

  “Hello,” he mumbled, his hand reaching for a towel.

  “You aren’t embarrassed?” she asked, staring blatantly at him, her eyes brimming over with appreciation for the sheer muscular power of his tall, hard body.

  He considered that for a minute, and his green eyes glittered as they ran over her. “No, not really,” he said. “Not with you.”

  He was thinking about the sc
ars, she knew, one of the tiny insecurities that underlay all that magnificent pride and arrogance. She got up gracefully from the stool and moved to stand in front of him. Her hand took the towel from his.

  “Jude…” Her nerve was beginning to fail.

  He drew her hands to his body and draped the towel over them. “You’ve come this far,” he whispered. “Don’t get cold feet now.”

  Her lips parted on a shaky rush of breath as she studied his hard, dark face. “I want to make love to you tonight,” she whispered. “You said once that when I was ready, I should come and get you.”

  A corner of his mouth curved, although his chest was rising and falling in shudders. “Is this a seduction?”

  “Well, sort of,” she admitted, peeking up at him. “You’ll have to guide me. I don’t really make a habit of this, like some people I could name.”

  “You’re wasting time,” he murmured, glancing down. “And we’re running out of it.”

  Her eyes followed his and jerked back up again.

  He laughed softly at her flush. “This was your idea. Take off that robe.”

  “But I haven’t dried you off yet,” she whispered.

  “I’ve always had this wild fantasy of being toweled dry by a nude pregnant woman,” he murmured drily. “Take it off. If I’m not embarrassed, with my flaws, why in hell should you be?”

  She reached up and pressed her fingers to his lips. “You aren’t flawed,” she said quietly. “I love all of you, every inch, and those scars are marks of courage.” She dropped her eyes to his mouth and managed to smile. “When I know you better, I’ll kiss every one of them.”

  He laughed delightedly. “When you know me better?”

  “Well, we’ve only slept together twice,” she reminded him. “We’re practically strangers.”

  “We’ll get acquainted a lot quicker if you’ll take off that damned robe.”

  She sighed. “You’ll never get dried off if I do.”

  “Think so?”

  Her hands went to the belt and she untied the robe, watching his face, and let it fall. His breath caught and his eyes went dark. His chest began to heave.

  Her hands slid from his waist up to his head and, trembling, they began to make a small effort to dry his thick hair. But meanwhile, her body had touched his, and he cried out.

  “Jude!” she whispered, shaken.

  His hands drew her against him. He enfolded her, his arms cradled her, his mouth searched urgently for hers.

  “I need you,” he whispered unsteadily. “I want you, so much!”

  Her lips nibbled at his, teasing, playing, until his hand caught in her long hair and pulled, making her mouth open suddenly as his took it. He rocked her against the hardness of his virile body, and she went weak-kneed with hunger for him.

  “I can’t wait,” he bit off, lifting her. “I’m sorry, honey, I can’t wait another second!”

  “It’s all right,” she whispered back, arching her back as his lips found her breasts and worshipped their curves, slid down to the slight rise of her belly.

  He laid her down on the bed and her arms pulled him over her.

  “The baby,” he whispered protectively, hesitating. “Just don’t be too rough, darling,” she whispered. Her fingers touched his chest, his waistline, his hips. She found his hands and moved them to her own hips. “Hold me like this,” she breathed, “the way you did in the woods that day….”

  “Bess!” he groaned, and found her lips with his. “I love you,” she whispered into his seeking mouth. “I love you.”

  “Do you know what you’re saying?” he whispered back, shifting his body so that they moved quickly into a devastating intimacy.

  “Yes, I know.” She lifted, arched, opening her eyes. “Love me back, just a little, darling,” she whispered. “Just a little, even if this is all…all you can give…Jude!” She gasped, twisting helplessly as his body began the deep, soft motion she remembered, as his tender hands touched her in more intimate ways.

  “It’s going to be love this time,” he said huskily. “On both sides. For both of us, Bess. You’re my life, my heart, my world!”

  Warmth flooded her body like fire as the words penetrated, and she saw the truth of them in the loving eyes that looked down into hers. “Darling…!” she cried out, clinging.

  His hands went under her. “Move with me,” he breathed, bending to her mouth. “Yes, hard, like that…Bess, oh God, Bess, Bess, I love you, I love you…!”

  He whispered the words like a litany, until they became a breathless, hoarse chant, until her own voice caught and echoed them, until her body and her soul fused with his in one, explosive burst of color that shattered before her startled eyes like a kaleidoscope of shimmering rainbows.

  She was hardly aware of time after that. It seemed that they’d only just finished when the symphony of movement and passion began all over again, with tender, soft kisses growing deeper and bodies kindling each other with brushing, teasing contact. He drew her back into his arms, and then every touch seemed to be more intimate, every kiss longer and deeper, every gasp and sob and moan louder than the one before. And this time he taught her things that made him cry out, ways of touching and tasting that gave her power over him, and she gloried in the pleasure she could see him experiencing. Until he reached a point on the edge of his control and, with a harsh groan, moved over her trembling body and, shivering with frank desire, gave her the satisfaction she pleaded for. Finally, from sheer exhaustion, they pulled up the covers and pressed themselves into each other’s arms. And slept until morning.

  He woke, and woke her, and as the sun filtered in through the blinds, they made love to the sound of birds rousing in the trees outside the window. And it was just as sweet as the night before. They were filled with shared love, with the wonder of belonging to each other.

  “And I thought I liked being a bachelor,” he murmured drily, ruffling her hair as she lay damply against his hairy chest in the drowsy aftermath of their loving.

  She kissed his skin softly. “I’m going to make sure you like being married from now on.”

  He caressed her face, turning so that he could see her eyes. “Last night was the first time since Christmas,” he observed quietly, “that you’ve reached out for me. Up until then, I’d done it all. All the chasing. All the taking. I used to hope against hope that one night you’d be starving for me and run the truck through my bedroom door,” he added on a dry laugh.

  “I kind of hoped the same thing,” she confessed. “But I wasn’t sure of you. I knew you didn’t want to get married. I thought if I let you see how much I cared you’d use it against me. And, too, I was furious about Crystal.”

  He kissed her forehead gently. “Bess, I did hate the idea of marriage when you first came here. But after the first few weeks, it got to the point that I couldn’t think of anything but you.” He smiled. “I put up trees I didn’t want, I went to unbelievable lengths to get my hands on a painting you’d said you liked, I let you set limits for Katy and watched you get her interested in dresses and parties—all the things I swore I wouldn’t do. I saw you with her, how you laughed and played. And I wanted to play, too, but it had been too long, and I didn’t know how anymore.”

  She bit gently at his shoulder. “Katy and I can teach you.”

  “I tried so hard to make you care,” he said, and it all showed in his face, all the pain and hunger and frustration that he’d kept her from seeing. “But I couldn’t get near you. And that night when you said you didn’t want me…”

  She touched his mouth. “I wanted you very much, I always have. I wanted you when I was fifteen years old, Jude,” she confessed fervently. “I don’t even know when it became love. But I know one thing. I couldn’t survive away from you.”

  He traced her lips with a long finger. “That goes double for me, Mrs. Langston. I don’t much like sleeping alone, either. Do you suppose you might sleep with me from now on?”

  “We’d like that,” she s
aid.

  “We?” He lifted an eyebrow.

  She snuggled close with a smile. “Your son and I. Katy’s ecstatic, did you notice?”

  “Yes, and I’m glad.” He drew her closer.

  She looked up. “Don’t you think I’m sexy?”

  “God, yes!” he said, laughing. “I’ll still love you when you look like a pumpkin. I just hope my arms are going to be long enough to reach around you.”

  She laughed delightedly. “What stories we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren,” she murmured. “I can just see their faces when I tell them about how you carried me bodily out of Oakgrove and flew me to Texas to get married.”

  “If you do,” he warned, “I’ll tell them how you seduced me on the bridle path.”

  “Blackmailer.”

  He grinned, rubbing his nose against hers. “We’ll keep our secrets, then. Just for the two of us. And when I’m old, I’ll whisper memories into your ear in front of them and watch you blush. And I’ll be young, and so will you, all over again.”

  She brushed her fingers over his stubbled cheek lovingly, searching his eyes. “I’ll love you all my life.”

  He kissed her softly. “I’ll love you all of mine. Every minute.” He sat up, stretching. “How about breakfast? Then we could go into San Antonio and have lunch at that restaurant on the river walk.”

  “Only if you promise not to stand up and start insulting me.”

  “Would I do that to a pregnant lady?” he asked. His eyes wandered slowly over her as he got to his feet and he smiled slowly, seductively. “You’re pretty like that, in bed. I could lose my head over you.”

  She lay back on the pillows with a soft sigh, and moved her legs. “Could you? How exciting. Lie down and let’s discuss it.”

  “You witch,” he murmured.

  She held out her arms. “It’s so lonely here in this enormous bed.”

  “I’ve got phone calls to make….”

  Her back arched softly. “I have this terrible ache, darling….”

  He threw himself down beside her. “To hell with the phone calls. I’ve got an ache of my own.”