Just an Illusion, Side A: Side A

by D. Kelly

  “The door was unlocked, so I slid it open and went in. I was in shock. My hands were shaking and tears were running down my face, but I had to see if everyone was okay. I didn’t think there could have been an intruder or that I could have been in any kind of danger, I just had to find my cousins and my aunt. The phone was on the kitchen counter, so I called 911, told them my uncle had been shot and I was trying to find my family. The operator kept telling me to go outside and wait, but I couldn’t, so I put the phone down and went to find everyone.

  “In the living room, Carl was lying in his own pool of blood. His eyes were wide open, and I knew he was gone. I guess it was then I started screaming, I don’t really remember, but from what they could piece together from the neighbors, that’s what they came up with. I kept going toward the bedrooms, and my aunt was out in the hall in front of Jordan’s room. She was gone, too. I had to jump over her to get inside the bedroom, and that’s where I found Carly in Jordan’s bed, and she was gone, too.”

  Tears are streaming down his cheeks, and I reach out and pull him into my embrace. The way he hugs me back fills me with sadness. It’s as if he’s needed this hug his whole life. After a few minutes, he pulls away, leans back into the couch, and wipes away his tears.

  “By then, I was screaming for Jordan, I heard a tapping noise in the closet, so I opened the door. There was so much blood, but he was still alive, gasping in pain. I remembered when I fell off my bike and cut my arm open and my mom had wrapped a shirt around it to stop the bleeding, so I grabbed something off the closet floor and held it to his head.

  “There was blood on his side, too, but I didn’t have enough hands to hold them both, and his head was the worst. The police were there soon after I found him and since I hadn’t stopped screaming, they found us quickly. By then, my mom had arrived with Noah. She was freaked out because I hadn’t come back, but the police had already roped off the house and wouldn’t let them in. Thank God, because no one should have to see what I saw that day.”

  My heart aches for the innocence they lost that day. For the whole family they lost.

  “So Jordan is okay?”

  “Jordan is a fucked up mess, like me, but he’s alive and functioning. Like me, he doesn’t trust many people and rarely lets anyone in deeper than surface level. His mom had shoved him in the closet and begged him not to come out. She put Carly down on his bed and was trying to get out of the room when she was shot. Uncle Javier shot at Carly a few times from a distance. I guess one of the bullets went through the wall and caught Jordan through his side. It went through his ribs and had partially collapsed a lung, but when he was hit, he fell and hit his head hard on the bottom of his ice skates and that’s why he was bleeding so much from his head.

  “We found out later Javier used a silencer. The assumption is he killed Carl and my aunt saw and rushed to try and save Carly and Jordan. She did save Jordan, and even though he didn’t see what happened, he heard it all. We both have to live with that day forever. Between the two of us, we spent years in therapy learning coping mechanisms and shit.”

  “Did they ever figure out why he did it?”

  Sawyer releases an evil laugh.

  “Yeah, he’d met a woman at work and had fallen in love. She convinced him they’d be better off if his family was out of the picture. It was supposed to be staged as a robbery, but I guess Javier felt guilty and killed himself instead.”

  “God, Sawyer, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s alright. I didn’t tell you so you could pity me. I guess I just wanted you to know my story since you shared yours.”

  “You’re brave. Not many kids could have done what you did. Hell, not many grownups would have walked into that. You’re a hero, Sawyer.”

  This time, his laugh comes from deep within. “Thanks, Princess, I needed that.”

  He’s deflecting, but I let him. Lord knows, I don’t want him wallowing in his thoughts any longer than he has to. It must have been hell to open himself up to me like that.

  “So when is your first book signing?”

  “In the new year, when we get back on the road. The first one will be in New York.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  “Terrified. Once I’m seen at that signing, everyone will know who I am.”

  “You should be proud of who you are. You aren’t your parents. It’s okay for you to live your life outside of their shadow.”

  “I know, but once it happens, there are going to be tons of questions, interview requests, not to mention …”

  “The singing?”

  I nod and pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

  “Is it true? Your voice is even better than your mother’s? Rumor back then was you were about to drop a solo album when your dad died.”

  “Well, you know why they’re rumors. My voice is decent, but the album was his idea. I think it was his way of keeping her close. He wanted me to put out the album and tour with him, but it was never my dream.”

  “Seems to me you’re living your dream now.”

  “I’m trying to.”

  “I’m glad you’re here, Princess.”

  I’ve never seen Sawyer’s eyes sparkle the way they are right now. I think we just officially became friends.

  “Me, too.”

  “God, I’ve missed you!” Belle screams out as she runs across the parking lot and wraps me in a hug.

  “I’ve missed you, too! I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Aww, how sweet. It’s a princess reunion,” Sawyer says as he leans up against the bus.

  “You know you want a piece of this princess action,” Belle retorts.

  “Is that an offer?” Sawyer asks with his classic smirk.

  “Hell no, it isn’t,” Darren and Noah answer in unison.

  “You guys take the fun out of everything. We still on for Sully’s tonight, or are you pussies backing out of that, too?”

  “Have we ever backed out of a night at Sully’s?” Noah asks indignantly.

  “Okay, then.”

  “What’s Sully’s?” Belle asks as Darren pulls her away from me and into his arms.

  “Only the best bar with the best karaoke night on the planet.”

  “This might be a stupid question, but don’t you guys get noticed at a karaoke bar?”

  Noah wraps his arms around my waist and kisses the top of my head. Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but I’ll take the affection.

  “Nope, or at least if they do, they’ve never outed us. We do keep our hats on and sing music totally different than our own, so that might help.” Darren answers the question while Noah distracts me with a trail of kisses along my neck.

  Belle’s phone rings and she doesn’t even say hi when she answers the phone. “Oh shit, sorry! I’ll tell him right now.”

  She hangs up and puts her phone back in her pocket. “Wyatt, you need to go to your bus. I left something there for you from Anna, and Warren said it’s in his way, so you need to go take care of it.”

  Wyatt shakes his head and walks toward his bus muttering something about how Sawyer and Warren deserve to be on the same bus since they’re both so anal.

  “What did you bring him?”

  Belle’s grinning like a fool and watches Wyatt enter his bus before answering my question.

  “Who would be a better question. Anna and I flew in together.”

  “Anna loves Sully’s. This is perfect!” Sawyer is obviously excited his best friend is here. I also realize this makes him odd man out in terms of a date. Hopefully, he won’t feel like a third wheel. I know he’d never say as much, but I’m starting to get a good read on Sawyer, and I think he’s a lot lonelier than he lets on.

  With Belle and Anna here it would have been nice to be in a hotel tonight, but tomorrow morning, the guys have some radio interviews and Warren didn’t want to have to round them up. Especially Sawyer, and since we’re heading out after the sho
w Saturday night, there’s really no point.

  Due to a scheduling conflict with the Utah venues, we have to split our time here. They’re doing one show tomorrow night, and then we’ll be back around before the tour ends next fall.

  “We’re going to go work out. Do you girls want to come, or do you want to go gossip?” Noah asks with a knowing smirk.

  “I can hit the gym on my own time. Come on, Mel, let’s go talk about the good stuff while we can.” Belle pulls my arm, and Noah pulls me back toward him, popping a quick kiss on my lips before releasing me.

  “That was the cutest non-romantic kiss I’ve ever seen,” Belle teases.

  Noah pulls me away from her completely and wraps his arms around me. One hand is lingering on my ass while the other weaves through my hair, pulling me to his lips. My heart races as the smell of his cologne reaches my senses. He always smells so spicy and clean.

  His lips linger on mine briefly, and his tongue parts my lips, meeting mine slowly, passionately, as he pulls me further into his embrace. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my fingers grasp onto his hair, and I fight to keep my feet on the ground instead of around his waist.

  Darren’s snicker finally pulls me back to reality, and we part slowly, reluctantly, and as always, breathlessly. This man could kiss me into my dying breath, and I’d let him. I couldn’t imagine a more wonderful way to go.

  “Romantic enough for you?” Noah teases back at Belle.

  “I’d say. Now I need a cold shower. Holy hotness, you two were on fire!”

  “Anticipation,” Noah whispers into my ear, his hand dropping from my head, caressing my side until landing on my hip.

  “Torture,” I whisper back before adding, “I may need my friend B.O.B after that.”

  “No way. I’ll take care of you tonight when we get back from Sully’s, and I’ll make it worth the wait.”

  “Homerun?” I ask hopefully, but he shakes his head with a slight smile.

  “Soon, I promise.”

  Darren kisses Belle on the other side of the bus, and I look around, noticing Sawyer is nowhere to be found. He must have gone to the other bus to exercise. I hope we didn’t make him uncomfortable. It’s the one thing I really wanted to avoid.

  Belle and I finally get on the bus, and she immediately pulls me down on the couch, crosses her arms, and gives me one of the fiercest looks I’ve ever seen on her.

  “You’re in love with him,” she states matter of factly.

  With a slight shake of my head, I reply, “I’m in like with him.”

  “Amelia Greyson, I’ve only ever seen the gleam in your eyes once before, and that was with Eli. You’re in love with Noah Weston.”

  “I’m not … not yet.”

  “Alright, you keep telling yourself that, but I think we need to talk about the bigger picture here.”

  “What bigger picture?”

  “Sawyer.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s seriously crushing on you, Mel.”

  I practically choke on my laughter, even though deep down inside, I don’t necessarily think she’s wrong.

  “He’s not, he’s just going through some shit right now.”

  “Let me guess, you’ve been his shoulder to cry on?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Mel, I know the look a man gets when he’s infatuated with a woman, and Sawyer Weston is as hot for you as his brother is. You need to be careful.”

  “Belle, I wouldn’t …”

  She holds her hand up to me. “Sweetie, I know you wouldn’t, but I also know what an amazing person you are and how easy it is to fall for you. Trust me, if I were playing for the other team, you’d be my girl already.”

  We’re both laughing, but there’s a lingering hurt deep down inside of me. I don’t want to lead Sawyer on, and I definitely don’t want to hurt him. There’s no way I can deny we have sparks, but if anyone is going to get my heart, it’s going to be Noah.

  “Remember how my parents had that chemistry?”

  She nods. “Their heat could spark a fire in any room when they weren’t fighting.”

  “Yeah, it could,” I reply sadly.

  “You always swore you’d stay away from anything that ever made you feel like that.”

  “And I will. I’m never going to lose myself in something where passion rules my heart and my mind.”

  “Where’s this going, Mel?”

  “When Sawyer kissed me, it confirmed what my parents had could exist in my world.”

  “Is that why you ran from him?”

  I nod and bury my head in my hands.

  “And you don’t feel that for Noah?”

  “It’s not even comparable. Noah lights me on fire from the inside out. He’s adoring, sweet, and one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. I’m falling for him hard, and I’d never do anything to hurt him.”

  “So what’s the problem? I don’t get it.”

  “It’s not a problem per se. It’s just, Sawyer and I are getting closer, we’re becoming friends, and I like it. He’s deep, and there’s so much more to him than people give him credit for. If he has feelings for me, I don’t want to hurt him, and I can’t ever let it get any deeper than the one kiss we shared.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “I won’t.”

  If only I felt the conviction in my words. Sawyer Weston terrifies me; he’s dangerous in the best kind of ways. Right now, the only truth I know is I’m falling hard for Noah, and as tempting as Sawyer can be, he’s not his brother.

  “So how does it feel to be Noah Weston’s official girlfriend?” She easily changes the topic to readjust my comfort zone. God, I love her.

  “So surreal. After Eli, you know I swore off musicians as a viable long-term option, and after my parents … I swore them off for good. But Noah is special, Belle, and as hard as I tried to fight my feelings for him, I’m not sure I want to anymore.”

  “I’m glad. You deserve some happiness in your life, and if it comes to you in the form of Noah Weston, mega hot, super sexy, famous rock star, then so be it.”

  “What about you? Have you pitched your plan to tour with us to Slammed yet?”

  “I did, and they’re all for it. I’m going to run it by Warren this weekend. Darren is completely on board with it. I hope they all go for it because I miss the hell out of you. At least they arranged for us to spend the holidays together.”

  “I know. It was really thoughtful. With your mom out of the country with her new boy toy until the new year, the timing couldn’t have been better.”

  She giggles and shakes her head. “You know I’m all about living each day to its fullest, but I never imagined my mom dating a man my age!”

  “So true, but your mom is gorgeous and she had you so young. She’s not even fifty yet. You’ll be lucky if you don’t end up with a baby brother or sister.”

  Belle shudders at my words, but she knows I’m right. Veronica is beautiful, sexy, and relatively young. At forty-six, it’s not completely impossible for her to have another child.

  “Alright, enough talk about my mom. Let’s figure out what we’re going to wear tonight! Pull up Sully’s online and see if it’s casual.”

  A Rare Night Out

  Belle, Anna, and I all got ready on our bus while the guys got dressed and waited for us on Darren and Wyatt’s bus. Sully’s is casual but we’re still looking good. It’s rare to get a night out, so we’re taking advantage of the opportunity. Belle opted for heels while Anna and I chose high-heeled boots. Where Belle and I stuck with jeans and sweaters, Anna went with a red dress which accentuates every curve on her body. Wyatt’s going to be one happy man tonight.

  Anna texted Wyatt to let him know we’re on our way out to meet them. They rented two Escalades to take us to Sully’s. Mac is driving one, and Ryan—their second in charge of security—is driving the other. It seems whenever they split up, Ryan is always with Noah
and Sawyer, and I wonder if there’s a story there.

  Strong arms wrap around me from behind. Without looking at them, I already know it’s Noah by his scent.

  “You look incredible,” he whispers, lightly nipping on my ear.

  “You haven’t even seen my face. My makeup could be hideous.”

  His chuckle vibrates against my skin. “You couldn’t be hideous if you tried.”

  He twirls me around so I’m facing him and cracks a smile. “See? Absolutely gorgeous.”

  “You don’t look half bad yourself.”

  “So are you ready to experience Sully’s?”

  “Sure. I mean, what could go wrong with tequila, karaoke, musicians, and a public bar?” I only half-tease him.

  “Oh ye of little faith, you’ll see this isn’t the place where people care about who we are. In fact, I’m pretty sure they know but choose to ignore it.”

  “Do you think Rhymin’ Rieanne will be there?” Anna wonders aloud.

  “Isn’t Rhymin’ Rieanne always there?” Sawyer asks rhetorically, and they all start laughing.

  “Who’s Rhymin’ Rieanne?”

  Darren turns to Belle and answers, “She’s this local chick who has been at Sully’s every time we’re there. She turns karaoke night into a freestyle and she …”

  It’s as if he’s at a loss for words, so Sawyer tries to explain, “She’s an eclectic mix of inappropriate and rap versus spoken word.”

  “Nah, it’s definitely more rap,” Noah says, shaking his head. “At least I think that’s what you’d call it. You’ll see, she never ceases to amaze me. Each time, her rhymes are crazier than the last.”

  “Well, let’s go! I want to see for myself, and I need a few shots of tequila if you think you’re getting me on stage,” Belle squeals excitedly.

  “Oh, we’re definitely getting you on stage, and when we come back here, I’ll let you …” Darren pauses and looks directly at Sawyer, “bang my bongo.”

  I’m trying to hold in my laughter, but Noah isn’t doing as good of a job at it. Sawyer throws his arms in the air and shakes his head. “I give up!” he exclaims before hopping into the SUV. Noah and I follow behind him while the others climb into the SUV next to us, still laughing.