Just an Illusion, Side A: Side A

by D. Kelly

  My stomach lurches as if I’m on the world’s tallest roller coaster. This is far beyond the scope of my comfort zone. “Noah … I’m not, that’s not—”

  He places his finger against my lips to silence me. My terrified eyes meet his twinkling ones. He can’t be talking about marriage.

  “Mel, I’m not crazy, I just know what I want in life. A family is at the top of that list. So far, I don’t see anything that would indicate we won’t be together in a year, or even two. I’m not asking you to marry me yet because I’m not crazy.”

  An uncomfortable laugh bubbles out of my mouth.

  “But I’m also not crazy enough to be with you for an extended amount of time only to let you go. So one day, in the future, I’m going to drop to one knee and ask you to be my wife, and I’m telling you that now so you have time to prepare for it.”

  “Noah …”

  “I know you’re scared to let people love you, Mel. But I already do, and it’s too late to stop it. Unless you want to break my heart, that is.”

  The vulnerability in his gaze cuts deep into my heart.

  “I’d never intentionally break your heart, Noah, but please understand I’m a long way away from marriage. I’m not actually sure I even believe in it.”

  His mouth covers mine in the sweetest of kisses, one so tender and filled with love I don’t know where he ends and I begin. As he breaks away, he drops his forehead against mine. “Then I’ll believe in it enough for both of us. We’re not your parents, Amelia. Our love will be whatever we want it to be.”

  I bite my bottom lip and nod, fearful of saying anything that may hurt him.

  “Besides, Mel, just food for thought … I’m not sure being married was your parents’ issue. Sounds to me like whether they had that paper between them or not, their love was intense.”

  “Maybe …”

  “Let me ask you this … Do you think the paper makes the marriage or it’s the people and what they put into it?”

  “The people, Noah, of course.”

  “So why are you afraid?” he asks softly.

  “Why does it make a difference to you?” I counter.

  “I don’t know. I just know I love the idea of sharing everything I am with the woman I love, including my last name.”

  This man and his honesty … it’s annoying and amazing. “I’m afraid of losing myself in someone else.”

  He tips my chin up with his thumb and kisses the tip of my nose. “I’ll never let that happen. I promise you, Amelia, I’ll never let you lose your identity.”

  “Someday, I may hold you to that, Weston,” I reply with a resigned sigh.

  “I’ll be looking forward to it. Until then, can you do me a favor?”

  With a raised brow, I ask, “What kind of favor?”

  “Since you’re bringing Evan and Ethan to the meet and greet tonight, will you please fangirl all over me? It’s kind of a huge fantasy of mine, and since you haven’t been to one before, it would make my night.”

  “Seriously?”

  He nods shyly as I pretend to think about it.

  “Can I touch you?”

  “You better.”

  “Can I kiss you?”

  He groans. “Fuck yeah …”

  “Can I run my fingers through your hair, pull you close enough to feel your cock against me, and softly cry out your name?”

  He pulls me close, his hardness already evident. “What do you think?”

  “I think if I do all that, we will be officially outed to the world.”

  He shrugs. “Belle will be there, so she can have the Slammed exclusive on our official coming out.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, you’re going to be late for your sound check if you don’t hurry up.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. Warren will get all the passes to you and the swag bags. I wrote down Evan and Ethan’s seat assignments on the pad of paper by the desk already. Anything else before I leave?”

  “One more thing …”

  He smiles and places his hands on my hips. “Name it.”

  “What would I be wearing in your fangirl fantasy?”

  “You don’t happen to have a sexy school teacher outfit with dark glasses and a ruler anywhere, do you?” he asks with a faraway look in his eyes.

  With a laugh, I shake my head. “I’m afraid I don’t have that on me, but I can make a mental note for the future.”

  He groans with the thought. “Wear anything you want as long as it comes with those sexy knee-high boots you’ve got.”

  “Done.”

  Noah releases me and smiles wide as he leaves the room. I lie down on the bed and let our conversation soak in. I can’t believe he brought up marriage, and what’s worse, I can’t believe I’m not as freaked out about the idea as I was a half an hour ago.

  A Night To Remember

  Belle knocks at my door as I’m zipping up my boots. “Come in.”

  “Damn! You bringing sexy back or what?”

  “You look pretty freaking hot yourself, mama.”

  A small smile spreads across her lips as she drops her hands to her belly. “Thanks. I figured it’s probably good to make him want to get in my pants before I tell him.”

  I can’t believe my best friend is going to have a baby. “Belle, no matter what Darren says, I’ve got you. We can do this if he’s not in. Not that I think he won’t be, but don’t give up if he’s not.”

  She nods her understanding and squeezes my hand. “Thanks.”

  “In other news … You get a Slammed exclusive announcing Noah’s and my relationship tonight. He wants a fangirl fantasy fulfilled at the meet and greet, so …”

  “You sexy bitch! I’m all over it. And for the record, I’m incredibly proud of you for letting him in and trying to have an adult relationship. I know it’s not easy for you, but no one deserves it more.”

  “I’m trying,” I tell her with one final look in the mirror. I’m nervous as fuck to put our relationship on blast tonight, but I want to do this for him. Belle spritzes herself with perfume as I grab the passes and gifts Warren dropped off a little while ago.

  “Here,” I say, passing her the all-access pass he left for her. We slip them over our heads and walk out of the room. I’m surprised to find Ryan waiting at the door.

  “Ryan? Why are you here?”

  “Mr. Weston’s orders, Mel. I’m your shadow for the evening.”

  “Did something else happen with Sara?”

  “Who’s Sara?” Belle asks, obviously irritated she’s missing out on something.

  “No, and hopefully it won’t. This is just a precaution.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Ryan.”

  “Who is Sara?” Belle repeats as we make our way to the venue.

  “Noah’s ex. She was in our room yesterday when we got back from the casino. I guess she’s a bit crazy.” I try and shrug it off, but Belle isn’t having it.

  “Jesus, Mel. Ryan, is she in danger?” she asks, pivoting around with her hands on her hips.

  “Not as far as we can tell. Like I said, this is just precautionary.”

  “So Noah has a psycho ex and you pick now to come out to the world about your relationship? Do you think that’s smart?” A worried glimmer simmers in Belle’s eyes.

  “It’s fine, Belle. Noah believes if we don’t come out first, she’s going to try and do something to cause a scandal surrounding our relationship. It’s better this way.”

  “If you say so.” She remains quiet as we enter the venue. Ryan leads us to Noah’s seats, where Evan and a man—whom I presume is Ethan—are talking.

  “Hey, Evan!”

  “Mel! This is my boyfriend Ethan. Ethan, this is Mel, Noah’s girlfriend.” Ethan is adorably cute—brown hair, brown eyes, baseball player build—and he’s holding onto Evan’s hand tightly.

  “Nice to meet you, Ethan. This is my best friend Belle.”

  Ethan
shakes my hand and then reaches for Belle’s, as does Evan. “So I have some gifts for you both,” I say as I hand them their swag bags. They have incredible restraint; neither of them even glances into their bags, even though it’s probably killing them not to.

  “Thanks, Mel. Please tell Noah thank you,” Evan says as I turn to walk away. I’m totally messing with him, though; the best is yet to come.

  “Hm … Evan, wouldn’t you like to thank him yourself?”

  “Well, of course” he answers with a smile, and I hold up their meet and greet passes. Ethan pulls Evan in for a quick kiss. “I fucking love you,” he says when he pulls away and excitedly puts his badge around his neck. Their interaction makes me smile, and I can’t wait to see their expression when they find out they’re even getting a few minutes of alone time with the band.

  “Follow me, gentlemen,” I tell them and follow behind Ryan to the meet and greet area. I’m a bit anxious and do my best to keep Belle behind us so Darren doesn’t see her right away. Not only am I nervous to come out to the world about our relationship, I’m also worried for Belle and peanut and their future. I can only hope Darren is the man I think he is and I’ll have a niece or nephew in about seven months.

  Ryan opens the door to the meet and greet room and moves to the side, allowing us to enter single-file. Evan and Ethan go first, and Noah is quick to stand and greet them. I reach behind me to grab Belle’s hand and walk her over to Darren, who has his back to the door. Sawyer, Anna, Wyatt, and Warren are all smirking.

  “What the hell are you guys all smirking at?” he asks in an irritated tone. When he turns around and sees Belle in front of him, the excitement on his face is unmistakable.

  “Best surprise ever! Whose idea was this?” he exclaims as he picks Belle up and swings her around.

  “It was my idea, you goof.” she says as he slides her provocatively down his body. Darren leans down and kisses her while the rest of us turn our attention to Noah and the guys, letting them have their moment.

  While everyone gets acquainted, I take the opportunity to snap some photos. This is the first time I’ve gone into one of these rooms on the tour. Usually, I take photos of the lines leading into the room, but I haven’t wanted to be a part of the experience. Especially as Noah and I have grown closer. I strive not to be a jealous person but sometimes, even I have my days.

  I’m able to get photos of Evan and Ethan and promise to email them after Evan puts his contact information into my phone. Sam steps in a few minutes before the meet and greet opens to everyone else, and after a quick hug, he and Warren step off to the side to observe.

  The setup in here is a little different than I thought it would be. There are four tables spaced about three feet apart. Each guy is sitting behind a table, and each table has a cup of Sharpies. Each table also has its very own security guard. The fans are allowed in sixteen at a time, they do a rotation of four at each table, and between each group, the guys pause long enough for a group photo. It might take a bit longer, but it avoids crowding and gives them a little bit more one-on-one attention. About halfway through the meet and greet, I make my way over to Belle and Anna.

  “So how am I supposed to do this?” I ask them, and Belle laughs at me.

  “Just do what I do all the time. Get in at the end of the line, in your case, Noah’s line, and stake your claim,” Anna answers simply.

  “I’m not making a claim,” I tell her, and Belle smirks.

  “You keep on telling yourself that,” Belle says, and I pause. Am I making a claim? It wasn’t necessarily my intention; I really just wanted to make Noah happy.

  “Don’t second-guess yourself, Mel. Who cares if you’re making a claim? He’s your man and he loves you. And from what Belle says, he asked you to do this, he wants you to claim him. That’s so fucking sexy. Don’t you dare back down.”

  “Alright, here goes nothing.” I pass my camera to Belle and get in line behind three extremely excited women. The one at the front of the line pulls her shirt down in Noah’s face. He mouths “I’m sorry” to me and signs quickly. All I can do is roll my eyes because this is what comes with this job.

  “Oh my God!” the next girl squeals at the top of her lungs. I’m surprised she didn’t shatter the glass wall behind us with that shrill tone. “Noah fucking Weston, you are my favorite!” She’s so excited, she’s practically running in place.

  “Well, thank you,” he answers with a slight blush. My, my, Noah gets embarrassed even after all this time. He reaches down and signs everything she has with her: a shirt, a CD, a homemade scrapbook, and what looks like … a hand towel? He raises a brow to her when she hands him the towel, and she giggles. “You sweated all over that towel about two years ago and then threw it in the crowd after you wiped your face on it. I was lucky enough to be the one who caught it.”

  Oh my God.

  It’s taking everything inside of me not to bust out laughing, and when she moves on to the next table, I don’t miss Noah’s sleight of hand with the bottle of sanitizer that quickly disappears under the table. Can’t say I blame him. Who knows what she’s done with that towel since then?

  Finally, the last girl is up before me. She’s so shy she can barely speak. But Noah coaxes her gently and she finally talks to him. When she walks away, Noah leans back in his seat and looks up at me.

  “And what can I do for you, pretty lady?” he asks with a flirtatious smile. I bend down in front of him just enough so my cleavage pops to the top of my sweater, and his eyes follow down to the girls, just like I knew they would.

  “Well, Mr. Weston, I was hoping you could give me my first genuine fangirl experience. But since I’m a virgin to it all, I’m not sure where to start.”

  His eyes meet mine and shine mischievously. “Is that so?”

  “Mmhm, it is.” I step around to the side of his table and half sit on the edge, bringing my booted foot up to his thigh. Noah wraps his hand around the back of my leg and stands up, pulling me from the table with him. His hand drops to my ass while his other hand wraps around my waist and pulls me close.

  “I’m a fucking lucky SOB to be the one to pop your fangirl cherry, Mel,” he whispers in my ear.

  The next thing I know, his hands are weaving through my hair and his mouth is pressed against mine. I open to him and kiss him back as if we’re the only two people in the room. But when I begin to hear angry growls coming from the crowd, I know our time is about up.

  “Hey!” the girl with the shrill voice screams out. “That wasn’t an option! I want to do that, too!”

  With her words, I begin to laugh in Noah’s mouth, and he pulls back laughing, too. His forehead is against mine; our hearts sound like drums they’re beating so loud. “You are the best girlfriend ever. Keep those boots on. I want them wrapped around my neck tonight.”

  “Anything you want … boyfriend.” I walk back toward Belle and Anna, who are both looking at me in awe.

  “See you later … girlfriend,” Noah calls back, loud enough for the whole room to hear. As soon as I sit down, Belle passes me her phone, which I gratefully accept so I can have something to look at aside from all of Noah’s fans giving me the glare of death.

  Slammers!

  It’s your girl Belle here, and do I have news! You know how they say a picture speaks a thousand words? Well, this one is worth a million … at least. You’re seeing and hearing it here first, and it’s officially official. Noah Weston is off the market. His new girlfriend is none other than Amelia Greyson, bestselling author of The O Factor and also my best friend in the entire world. This relationship has been brewing for months, and the lovebirds finally decided now was the time to let the world in on their happiness.

  The men of BAD are growing up and moving on. Let’s wish Noah and Mel all our best on their journey into romantic coupledom.

  Don’t forget, live today like there’s no tomorrow!

  Xs and Os,

  Belle

 
The photo Belle took of Noah and me is breathtaking. She captured the moment his lips hit mine. “I want a copy of this picture,” I tell her softly, and she nods, rubbing her hand against my back.

  “Are you nervous?” she asks sweetly.

  “Terrified.” Who I am is bound to come out anytime now.

  “Don’t be,” Anna says firmly. “Noah deserves to be happy and so do you. This is his life, not theirs.”

  I let Anna’s words resonate for a few moments. “You’re right. We do deserve it.”

  We watch on in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I know what’s keeping me and Belle occupied, but when I turn to Anna to see why she’s unusually silent, it’s evident. She’s sitting quietly, blowing kisses to Wyatt, without a care in the world. And Wyatt, true to his nature, is catching them from across the room in between fans.

  Belle deserves that, and so do I. Every time I look up at Noah, he’s got a dazzling smile on his face. I’m pretty sure he’s thrilled with our announcement. I forward him the photo Belle took, and when his phone buzzes, he actually checks it right then. I didn’t think he would do that, but it makes me feel special that he does. Even more so, his reply is instant.

  Noah: Best picture I’ve ever seen.

  Mel: It’s already gone viral.

  Noah: Well, that doesn’t surprise me. You’re gorgeous.

  He winks at me and pockets his phone, turning his attention back to his fans. Once the meet and greet is over, the guys go straight into one final sound check before the venue begins allowing the regular ticketholders inside. When they’re finished, the three of us give our men kisses for luck and begin to head out to our seats.

  “Uh, Mel,” Belle says, pausing as she’s scrolling through her messages.

  “Yeah?”

  “You might want to read this. I’m sorry, babe.” Her arm wraps around my waist as she passes me her phone. It’s the comments on the Slammed blog; one comment in particular is pulled up.

  Amelia Greyson, my ass. That’s Amelia Triton – guess her bitch ass decided to come out of hiding where she’s been ever since she broke my brother’s heart. What happened, Mel? Did you run through your inheritance already? If Noah Weston is a smart man, he’ll stay far away from her once he sees this comment. – CeCe Watts