Just What the Doctor Ordered

by Leigh Greenwood

  He’d find a place in the suburbs where Rebecca and Ben could have a big yard. They couldn’t be expected to give up kick ball. Besides, there had to be room for brothers and sisters. Matt had never wanted children before, but now he wanted them with Liz.

  It hit him like a thunderclap. He hadn’t used any protection last night! He’d been so caught up in his own problems, he hadn’t even thought about it.

  He sat up in bed and banged his head with his open palm. He was a doctor. If he couldn’t remember, how could he expect anyone else to? Judas! Liz must be thinking he was the prize chump. Let his hormones get a little wrought up, and he wasn’t any different from any other man hungry for a woman.

  He had to talk to her.

  He looked at the clock—11:18 a.m. Hell, he was hours late! He leaped out of bed but came to a halt before he opened the door. He was naked. His clothes were on the floor. He quickly put them on and eased the door open. He didn’t hear any sounds. Liz must have gone to work as usual. He grabbed up the rest of his clothes and dashed upstairs.

  He’d showered and shaved when he came down twenty minutes later. He found Liz’s note in the middle of the kitchen table.

  You were so tired I decided to let you sleep. I’ll ask Salome to reschedule your morning appointments. If you’re not there by noon, I’ll come wake you up. We have to talk.

  Liz

  They certainly did. He had a lot he wanted to tell her.

  “You sure you don’t want to come?” Aunt Marian asked. “You’ve always enjoyed the skits the drama camp puts on.”

  “Matt and I have some things to talk over. It’ll be easier if we don’t have the kids interrupting us every five minutes.”

  “Well, if you finish up early, come on down. I understand the last skit will make you laugh till your sides hurt.”

  “I’ll try, but don’t wait for us. And don’t put up with any nonsense from Ben or Rebecca.”

  “They’re wonderfully behaved. Considering how so many children behave, I’m proud to claim them.”

  Liz watched her children dance around their great-uncle as they waited for her aunt to catch up with them. It seemed incredible that everybody else was involved in such humdrum activities when she was about to face the dissolution of a dream. She wanted to shout at everybody, to tell them they couldn’t carry on as usual when her world was falling apart.

  But she couldn’t share this with anyone. It was her own private tragedy, and it would have to stay that way.

  Dinner had been the most difficult meal of her life. She’d been able to avoid Matt during the day. But she’d not only had to spend thirty consecutive minutes in the same room with him, she’d also spent half of it sitting directly across the table from him. For the children’s benefit, she’d had to act like nothing had changed.

  But everything had changed.

  She had made love to Matt. It didn’t matter why it happened or who had been most responsible. She had said she loved him and yielded up herself. Such an action implied different things to different people, but Liz had no doubt what it meant for her. Love, marriage, family, fidelity. It meant freely offering to each other what could never be demanded or taken, only given.

  That meant not trapping a man because you were going to have his baby.

  Liz doubted she was pregnant—she couldn’t possibly know for several weeks—but she did know neither one of them had stopped to think of protection or of the consequences of not using it. Under no circumstances did she want to bring an unwanted baby into the world. There were many reasons why she and Matt couldn’t go on as before. That was one of the most crucial.

  She took a deep breath and walked into the house.

  He smiled at her when she reentered the kitchen, and her resolve nearly disappeared. How could any woman in her right mind push such a man away? He was sweet, kind, handsome. He had a brilliant future. He loved her and her children. What more could she want?

  She sighed inwardly. It was no longer a question of wants. It was a question of need—what she must have to survive, to bring her children up the way she wanted. She’d entered one marriage without knowing that. She’d tried to preserve it by compromising her principles. She wouldn’t do that again.

  He opened his mouth to speak. “Let me go first,” she said. It was almost a plea. “If I don’t, I’ll forget everything I want to say.”

  “It sounds ominous.” His expression gave the lie to his attempt to sound lighthearted.

  “About last night—”

  “Look, I didn’t mean to take advantage of you. I—”

  “I’m not blaming you. I knew what was going on. If I have to be honest—and I suppose this is the best time to be honest—I wanted it as much as you.”

  His expression softened. Whether from guilt or relief, she didn’t try to discover. It would make no difference either way.

  “But that has no bearing on the situation.”

  “Of course it does.”

  “Look, Matt, we don’t want the same things out of this. I can’t indulge in an affair. Setting aside what it would do to me and my children if this ever got out, it’s not something I want or would ever do. I want marriage, a family, a husband who loves me and will come home every night, who’ll have time for me and the children.”

  “I do love you.”

  “Are you ready for all the rest?”

  “I’d rather take all this one step at a time. I haven’t even gotten used to being in love yet.”

  “I don’t see how that’s possible. We skipped way ahead last night.”

  “I know. I—”

  “It’s possible I’m pregnant.”

  She could tell he’d already thought of the possibility. He didn’t look shocked or stunned. He didn’t start blaming her, but all the animation drained out of him. He seemed to turn slowly to stone.

  “I’m sure I’m not, but it’s possible. We weren’t careful.”

  “That’s my fault. A doctor should never do anything so stupid.”

  “Could you stop thinking like a doctor and for once think like a man?”

  “I did last night.”

  “Good. You know how. Now do it again.”

  He looked at her with an intensity and longing that was tangible. “If I did, I’d get out of this chair, kiss you until you were breathless, then make love to you again and again.”

  Liz instinctively backed up behind a chair. “Maybe being a doctor is safer.”

  She looked at him more closely. He seemed to be having as much difficulty staying away from her as she was having keeping her distance from him. His hands gripped the table. His knuckles were white. His whole body seemed rigid to the point of pain.

  “We can’t go on like this,” Liz said.

  “Go on like what?”

  “You living here, letting my children treat you like part of the family, encouraging me to feel the same way.”

  “Why not?”

  “We started out disliking each other, but in two months we’ve made so much progress in the other direction we slept with each other.”

  “Don’t make it sound cheap. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, far more than I thought I could love any man. Why else do you think I abandoned everything I believe and made love with you?”

  “Because you knew I needed you last night more than I’ve ever needed anybody in my life.”

  “But you’ll need me again, and I’ll make love to you again. I’ll do it myself—you won’t have to talk me into it—but I can’t live with that. It has nothing to do with living in Iron Springs. I couldn’t do it if I were back in New York.”

  “I know.”

  “Then you’ll understand when I ask you to move.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  He didn’t understand. His expression told her that immediately.

  “No, I don’t. Besides, there’s no place for me to go.”

  “I talked to Josie Woodhouse. She has plenty of room in that huge house. She said you cou
ld stay with her.”

  “What the hell did you do that for!”

  His anger surprised her. He never got angry. He always kept everything inside.

  “You can’t stay here.”

  “You could at least have talked to me first.”

  “What difference would it make?”

  “It could make a lot, you stubborn, hardheaded woman. I love you, Liz Rawlins. I’ve never loved anybody in my whole life. I don’t intend to let you slip away like that.”

  “I’m not a commodity to be captured and held until you decide to let me go. I’m a woman with feelings.”

  “That’s what we’ve been talking about—feelings, yours and mine. You were the one who said we had to be honest. You can’t start by denying what we feel for each other.”

  “I’m not denying it. I’m afraid of it.”

  “Hell, that’s what I’m supposed to say. When did you start?”

  “When I couldn’t wait to get you into my bed. When I never stopped to think I could get pregnant. When I realized I wanted to have your baby more than anything in the world.”

  The last sentence came out as a strangled whisper, but it affected Matt more visibly than anything she’d said.

  “Now do you understand?”

  He shook his head.

  “I’d do anything you want because I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Soon I would begin to compromise. Then I’d lie to myself. It would happen by slow degrees so I wouldn’t notice it. But it would happen, and it would destroy everything we feel for each other.”

  “You have the advantage over me. You’ve been in love before. I never have, and I’m not willing to give up so easily.”

  “Matt, we can’t agree on anything.”

  “We’ve never talked about it seriously, not from the standpoint of being in love, what we’re willing to do for each other.”

  “I did, and it didn’t work.”

  “You haven’t done it with me.”

  “How will it be different with you?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to find out.”

  “Well, you can think about it from Josie’s guest bedroom.”

  “Can’t we wait?”

  “No. It won’t be long before last night happens again.”

  “I promise to keep my distance.”

  “Don’t you understand? I want to make love to you. I want your baby. But I don’t want to use it to trap you into marriage.”

  Matt’s expression told her that was an aspect of the problem he hadn’t considered.

  “Don’t you see it wouldn’t work?”

  “No, I don’t I admit I don’t have any answers. With all my planning, I never thought of this happening, but I’m not willing to give up. I love you. I love Ben and Rebecca. I don’t know where it will lead me, but I intend to find out. No matter what, I don’t mean to let you go. Some way, we’re going to work it out.”

  It would be so easy to give in, to believe him, to have faith it would work out Liz could almost feel herself tipping over the edge, feel her tongue forming words of capitulation. At the last minute, she drew back. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t chance failure again. She didn’t think she’d survive it this time. She wasn’t sure her children would, either.

  “You’ll be here until next summer. We’ll have plenty of time to think about it.”

  “You don’t sound very hopeful.” He sounded angry.

  “Matt, your ambition has always been to work in a famous city hospital. I’m not leaving Iron Springs ever again. I don’t see that leaves us anything to talk about.”

  “You’re giving up too soon.”

  “I’ve already tried to think of a way out. There isn’t one.”

  Matt rose and walked around the table. “When did you fall in love with me?” he asked. He was standing within reach. His anger had disappeared. His gaze bore into her. She looked away.

  “I don’t know.”

  He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. “Are you sure?”

  “I wasn’t expecting it. I thought you were a coldhearted opportunist who looked at medicine as a way to gain the riches and fame you craved. Then I found you had memorized all those charts.”

  “Any reputable doctor would do that.”

  “Then there was Ben and Rebecca. You were so different with them. It was like there were two of you. But liking the one, I started to understand the other one.” She grinned. “Somewhere along the way, I guess I caught a glimpse of your beefcake backside or your long legs and fell in love.”

  “Don’t joke with me.”

  “There’s no reason a woman can’t be attracted to a man’s body.”

  “I fell in love with your long, slim legs, but they’re not the reason I don’t mean to let go of you. I’ll move to Josie’s house, but we’re going to talk. And keep on talking. We’re going to date like any normal couple. We’re going to figure out how we can spend the rest of our lives together. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know you’re not convinced, but you always said I was smart. Well if these brains are good for anything, they ought to be capable of finding a way to preserve my own happiness. I will. I promise.”

  He kissed her then, and her resolve nearly disappeared once again.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Liz said. “I’ll always be here, but I’ll never change my mind.”

  “Never say never. I did, and look what it almost cost me.”

  She didn’t want to say never, but it didn’t do any good to ignore reality. Still, she couldn’t give up hope. Matt had changed a lot already. No telling what might happen tomorrow.

  “Okay, Beefcake, give me the real scoop before I start spreading malicious rumors all over town.”

  Salome had greeted him at the door wearing the most bilious shade of vaguely purple lipstick he’d ever seen. She followed him to the coffee machine.

  “Where do you get that lipstick?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

  “Do you like it?” she asked, preening.

  “It’s the most horrible color you’ve ever worn. The manufacturer ought to be arrested for making it.”

  “It is ugly, isn’t it?”

  “It’s hideous. Why do you wear it?”

  “So you’ll notice me. Now stop stalling, and tell me why you moved. Nobody’s talking about anything else.”

  In one brief moment of suspended intelligence, Matt had hoped the people of Iron Springs might not demand to know every detail of his move from Liz’s house. He realized now how foolish he’d been.

  “If I tell you the truth, will you promise not to embellish it before you repeat it?”

  “Cross my heart.” She crossed a chest encased in a uniform that seemed to have shrunk another size during the past week. “Now spill it.”

  “Wait a minute. I want Sadie here, too. I want a witness.”

  “Sadie!” The name was a screech that scraped its way up and down Matt’s spine. “Get your tail in here on the double. Beefcake is about to spill his guts.”

  “Nothing quite so dramatic,” Matt said.

  “Considering this is the dullest summer on record, it’s going to be a real headliner.”

  Matt groaned. Maybe he could talk Solomon Trinket into putting the moves on one of those sex-starved artists up at the hotel.

  “Okay,” Sadie said, coming up with coffee cup in hand. “What’s the scandal?”

  “No scandal,” Matt said. “And I’m only going to tell you if you promise not to put Liz through the third degree when she gets here.”

  “I wondered why you were here early,” Salome said.

  “To spike your guns,” Matt said. But then he had to smile. He knew Salome wouldn’t say anything to hurt either one of them. “I moved out because I’ve decided I want to court Liz. We decided it wouldn’t look very good if I were living in her house at the same time.”

  “Is that all?” Salome said, disgust written large
on her face. “Hell, everybody in town knows you two are sweet on each other. Why do you think she broke up with Ethan?”

  Matt couldn’t decide whether he felt like cussing or laughing. He should have known everybody would know what was going on between him and Liz. They knew everything else.

  “You got me all excited, and that’s all there is?” Sadie complained.

  “Sorry, but that’s it,” he said.

  “Damn, this is real disappointing,” Salome said. “I expected something that would at least last through the week. This won’t even make it to lunch.”

  “You shouldn’t be so nosy,” Matt said. “Then you wouldn’t be disappointed.”

  “That’s the price you pay for living in Iron Springs,” Liz said, entering through the back. They all turned. “Have they put you through the inquisition?”

  “I told them we’d decided to date and thought it would be better if we weren’t living in the same house.”

  “Which is no news at all,” Salome said. “I’ve got some calls to make.” Salome followed Sadie down the hall.

  “I told them I moved because we wanted to start dating,” Matt said.

  “I heard.”

  “How about Wednesday night?”

  “What about it?”

  “Can we go to dinner?”

  “I have to take care of the kids. I—”

  “I’ve already spoken to your cousin. She has agreed to keep them for the evening.”

  “Matt, you can’t—”

  “Yes, I can.” Matt pulled her into his office and closed the door. “I knew if I left it to you, you’d use those children as an excuse.” He tried to take her in his arms, to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

  “I can’t take advantage of my cousin.”

  “You aren’t. They’re going out to dinner. I’m paying.”

  “You’re paying for eight people to eat out!”

  “Can you come up with a better plan?”

  “Yes. We can all stay home.”

  “It won’t work. If we don’t go out, everybody will know we lied and they’ll start pestering us for the real reason I moved out.”