What had changed? What had quieted the desire to go back to her old life? And when did she start thinking of it as her old life, instead of home?
She didn’t want to think about the future. She had five weeks before she had to go back. Besides, she couldn’t do anything until Gertrude sought her out anyway.
Elizabeth rose, dressed and ventured downstairs. She must have only slept a few hours as it appeared many people were just beginning their work.
She popped into the kitchen to get a bannock and the herb tea that had become a replacement for her morning coffee.
Ellen and the other women working in the kitchen had heard the news about the baby and greeted her exuberantly.
“Come, sit down here at the table and I’ll make ye a bowl of the sweet porridge ye like.”
The words ‘nay thank ye’ were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t say them. Ellen wanted to do this for her and Elizabeth wouldn’t deny her that.
So she sat in the kitchen chatting with the women and eating her breakfast. They wanted details of how Jessie’s labor had gone. They were all aware of the trouble she’d had bearing Flora. Elizabeth, the modern doctor who didn’t wish to break confidentiality, found a way to offer vague details without divulging more than she was comfortable with. The women seemed satisfied.
After Elizabeth had finished her breakfast, she said, “I should be going and get out from underfoot.”
“Ah, lass, ye’re always welcome here,” Ellen assured her. “But are ye going to see Jessie this morn?”
“Aye, I intend to go there now.”
“Well then, would ye mind taking her some fresh bread? I expect neither Sorcha nor Mary will have time to bake today.”
“Aye, I’d be happy to.”
Ellen wrapped several loaves in cloth and placed them in a basket. Then she tucked a small covered crock in between the loaves. “Raspberry preserves,” she said by way of explanation. “I know Jessie loves it.”
Elizabeth smiled. “That is so kind of ye. I’m sure it will truly please her.”
Ellen beamed.
Elizabeth delivered the basket, and checked Jessie and the babe over. Knowing that infection—child bed fever—was one of the illnesses that took many a young mother’s life, Elizabeth reemphasized the need for keeping everything as clean as possible. Although they didn’t understand the connection, they were willing to believe Elizabeth.
Satisfied that the new mother and baby were well, Elizabeth bid them farewell and John showed her out of the cottage.
“Elsie, I can’t thank ye enough for all ye’ve done.”
“’Twas my pleasure.”
“I pray the Laird and Lady will be as fortunate.”
Elsie smiled at him. “As do I. Only time will tell, but I’m hopeful.” She looked momentarily towards the keep.
“Are ye heading back to the keep now?”
She knew she should probably go back but she hadn’t been able to sort out her jumbled emotions since remembering the word that morning. The day was fine and bright. A light breeze whispered the promise of spring, enticing her to walk.
“Nay ‘tis a lovely day. I think I’ll go for a walk by the loch.”
He nodded. “Aye, it’s a grand day for a walk.”
She bid him farewell and reaching the edge of the village in just a few minutes, she continued on until she reached the shore of the loch. All was still and very peaceful. That’s exactly what she needed, a bit of peace. So she walked along the shore, towards the forest on the northern edge. Eventually she came to several large boulders. She climbed up to sit on one. Looking out over the loch she tried to quiet her mind and simply absorb the wild beauty surrounding her.
She failed miserably.
She had been troubled from the moment she remembered the word this morning but she couldn’t figure out why. She should be happy knowing Elsie could rearrange their souls again. The events of the last month swirled in her brain as she searched for some logical explanation for her disquiet.
Elizabeth wasn’t sure how long she had been lost in contemplation when she heard the crunch of footsteps on the gravel at the loch’s edge. Somehow, she knew who it was even before she looked up.
“So, ye’ve remembered the word?”
“Aye, Gertrude, I have.”
“Ye don’t seem happy. I expected ye to be champing at the bit, thinking three moves ahead. What’s wrong?”
“I haven’t thought three moves ahead for days. I have no clue what’s happening to me.”
“Do ye not? Truly?”
“Maybe it’s as ye suggested, the powers that be have stepped in to slow me down.”
“Aye, well that’s certainly true. And what happened when ye were forced to live in the moment?”
What had happened? She brought hope to a frightened woman—two frightened women. She made friends—not peers or colleague—friends, for whom she cared deeply. She had learned to ride a horse. She danced—sort of. She experienced life.
Gertrude nodded sagely. “Ah, I see, ye fell in love.”
Elizabeth actually laughed. “Love? Nay Gertrude, I didn’t fall in love. I mean I like Cade. I like him a lot, but I’m not in love.”
“I didn’t say ye fell in love with a man—although he would have turned my head a few years ago. Nay, ye might not have fallen in love with a man, but ye fell in love nevertheless.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Do ye not? Then ye’re ready to tell me the word and switch souls again?”
“Nay. Not yet. I…”
“Why?”
“Because I…I…”
“Ye’re in love—with the people of this clan and the positive effect ye can have on their lives. Ye found the life ye’ve always longed for. What was it David said to ye? He wanted ye to find yer destiny and embrace it.”
“How do ye know that?”
“Really, Elizabeth? Need ye ask?”
She smiled and shook her head.
Gertrude looked at her seriously for a moment. “Have ye found it? Yer destiny? Is it here among these people who you have come to love and who love ye dearly in return?”
Tears filled Elizabeth’s eyes. “I don’t know. How can I stay? What about Elsie? Even if she didn’t want to exchange souls again at some point I’ll be expected to go back to the Macraes and I’ll lose all of this anyway.”
Gertrude laughed. “There ye go—thinking three moves ahead. I’m going to ask ye again and I don’t want ye to consider what ye might believe is expected of ye. I want ye to give me the answer that is written in yer heart. It was yer desire to have an impact. Can ye do that here? Is yer destiny among these people? Caring for them, rejoicing with them, mourning with them, bringing them hope and comfort? Do ye want to stay?”
Leave everything behind and stay? Could she do that? The tears slipped down her cheeks but even as she wiped them away, she knew they were for the people she would leave here if she returned to her own time. “Aye, Gertrude, I want to stay. These are the truly the dark ages, it’s a hard existence. But ye’re right, I’ve fallen in love with an entire community—a way of life. I love my parents, and I know they love me, but it’s different here. Love is present in ways I’ve never experienced it.”
“Elizabeth, when ye’re always moving to the next thing, it’s easy to miss the love around ye. I’m glad ye’ve finally found it.”
“But I can’t just ignore Elsie. I at least made the choice to accept the pocket watch. Elsie had no say in any of this. I can’t decide to stay unilaterally.”
Gertrude smiled. “Funnily enough, Elsie too has fallen in love. I haven’t asked her whether she wishes to stay yet.” Gertrude winked. “But I’m fairly sure she will.”
“And what happens when the time comes for me to go back to Macrae?”
“Ye aren’t the right midwife—or had ye forgotten?”
“But—”
“Have a little faith. If ye’re meant to stay here, here ye’ll stay.”
> “Ye’re certain?”
Gertrude arched a brow at her. “Ye doubt me?”
Elizabeth gave a little laugh. “Nay, I guess not.”
“Then believe that the universe unfolds as it should. If events transpire that take ye back to clan Macrae, ‘twill be what’s intended for ye—and them.”
“But, Gertrude, ye said it yerself, I love this clan. I don’t know if I want to stay if I can’t be here among the MacKenzies.”
Gertrude narrowed her eyes. “Elizabeth, none of us are promised tomorrow. Can you imagine falling as profoundly in love with a man as ye have with the clan?”
Elizabeth’s thoughts immediately went to Cade. She couldn’t stop the slow smile that spread across her face. “Aye Gertrude, I can imagine it.”
“Then, as ye are aware, loved ones are taken from us unexpectedly in every age. Ye’re a doctor, ye know that’s true.”
Elizabeth nodded.
“Loving someone is not a guarantee that ye’ll have them forever. The fact is, there’s never enough time with a loved one. Couples who have been together for decades—fifty, sixty, seventy years or more—will tell ye even that’s not enough time together. Knowing this, now that ye’ve experienced love in so many ways, would ye choose to protect yerself from the pain of loss by not falling in love? Would ye have held yer heart away from Morag or any of the other MacKenzies? If ye could, would ye go back to that moment on the plane and refuse the pocket watch?”
The events and emotions of the last month played in Elizabeth’s mind like montage of movie clips. She shook her head. “Nay, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. Every day has been a gift.”
“And as long as ye wake each morning believing that, they will continue to be, whether ye’re here or elsewhere. So will ye take the gamble? Do ye still want to stay here knowing ye have no assurances about tomorrow or next week, or next year?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath and nodded. “Aye. Whatever time I have here is worth it.”
“Excellent. Tomorrow will come when it comes, bringing what it brings. So for now, live fully in the moment.”
“I will. Or at least I’ll try to.”
“Good. Now, I have to go tell Elsie the good news.”
“Do ye want to know the word? Just in case?”
“Nintendocore?”
“Ye knew? How did ye find out?”
Gertrude chuckled. “How do ye think I found out? I asked the cabbie.”
“Why didn’t ye tell me?”
“Before ye had time to find yer destiny? Nay, Elizabeth. Several weeks ago ye suggested that ye had no choice in any of this, but it should be obvious ye do. Still, things had to happen in their own time. I told ye, when the time was right, ye’d remember the word and ye did. Ye needed to stay long enough to decide here is where ye belong. Once ye did, ye remembered the word so ye could make the choice to stay.”
Elizabeth laughed. “I suppose there’s a logic there.”
“Of course there is. And now that ye’ve made yer decision and embraced yer destiny, I must be going. Come give me a hug.” Gertrude opened her arms.
Elizabeth stepped into her embrace. “Will I see ye again?”
“Who knows what the future holds?” Gertrude laughed merrily.
Chapter 17
Cade had looked for Elsie that afternoon to take her riding. No one seemed to know where she was. She had been up most of the night, delivering John and Jessie’s baby, but he had seen her earlier that morning walking towards the kitchens. Maybe she had gone to the village to check on Jessie and the bairn—the watch would know if she had left the keep. Cade walked to the castle gates.
“Affric, did Elsie pass this way?”
“Aye, several hours ago. I think she was on her way to see Jessie.”
“Several hours ago? And she hasn’t returned?”
“Nay she hasn’t. Does Lady Wynda need her? I can send someone.”
“That isn’t necessary. Lady Wynda is fine. I’ll go find Elsie myself.”
“As ye wish, sir.”
When he reached John and Jessie’s cottage, John was outside, cutting wood.
“Congratulations, John. I understand ye have a braw laddie. Are Jessie and the bairn well?”
John grinned. “Aye, thank ye, Sir Cade. They are both in fine form.”
“That’s good to hear. Is Elsie with them?”
“Nay, she stopped in earlier, but as all’s well she didn’t stay long. Elsie’s mother and my own are helping out.”
“Was she going to Morag’s?”
“Nay, she said she was going for a walk.”
“A walk? Alone?”
“Aye, she intended to walk to the loch.”
Cade scowled.
John looked confused. “Is there something wrong with that, Sir?”
Cade had to remind himself that Elsie was not a noblewoman who needed to be guarded. As a common lass she could walk outside the walls and village if she chose to. Still he didn’t like it. “Nay, John, it’s fine. Congratulations again.”
“Thank ye, Sir.”
Cade returned to the castle stable to saddle a horse. As he did, he allowed himself to become irritated. Riding with her was his favorite part of the day. Ever since he’d started teaching her, he had claimed her nearly every afternoon. Ignoring this, she had simply gone off on her own. A little voice inside said, ye only take her riding when ye’re free to go, not to mention the fact that she didn’t promise to ride with ye today.
He shut that voice up. He’d rather be angry.
He left the keep, heading towards the loch. Seeing her nearly on the other side of it, walking towards him, he rode to meet her.
“What are ye doing out here alone?” He couldn’t keep the annoyance out of his voice.
In her usual irreverent way, she put her hands on her hips and looked up at him. “Enjoying the lovely afternoon, until I encountered an ill-tempered man.”
“I don’t need yer cheek today.” But in fact, he longed for her spirited responses.
She grinned at him. “That’s odd. If I had to guess, I’d say ye were looking for me, so I reckon ye can either keep riding, or put up with it.”
Dear, God, she was not like any other woman he had ever encountered. He leaned forward in his saddle, trying not to show his amusement. “Ye would try the patience of a saint.” She opened her mouth but he put a hand up to stop her. “Before ye vex me more by pointing it out, nay, I’m not a saint.”
She laughed. “I should say not.”
He reached a hand down to her. “Ride with me.”
“I was enjoying my walk.”
“Nevertheless, ye’ll ride.”
“Ye’re bossier than usual today. What’s irritating ye?” Even as she said it, she took his hand and let him pull her up and onto his lap.
“A certain wee midwife who went wandering off instead of showing up for her riding lesson.”
“We had no plans today and I needed some time alone.”
“Why?”
“To sort a few things out.”
“What things?
“It’s none of yer business.”
That was a challenge he could not resist. He stopped the horse, cupped the back of her head in one hand and turned her towards him. “That impudent tongue really is going to get you into trouble.” Then he captured her lips in a demanding kiss. As ever, she didn’t resist, but rather, returned his kiss. When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. “What is it ye do to me lass?”
She laughed. “Ye kiss me and it’s my fault?”
“It must be. I don’t seem to think clearly when ye are within an arm’s length.” Hell, he didn’t seem to think clearly when she was anywhere in sight.
“That doesn’t make it my problem.” She turned to face front, but leaned back, relaxing against his chest.
He put one arm around her waist, pulling her even more snuggly against him. “Ye’re a puzzlement, Elsie.”
She chuckled, but
gave no response.
They rode back to the village in comfortable silence. She was indeed a puzzlement. He had never worked so hard to win a lass’s affection while at the same time feeling so closely connected with her. She had warned him that she would not let it go farther. But he not only felt she belonged with him, it was nearly as if they had already been together for ages.
When they reached the inner bailey, he dismounted, then lifted her down. He stood her on the ground, between himself and the horse.
“I…I really should go see Lady Wynda.”
“Not until ye promise to go riding with me tomorrow.”
“As long as I am not needed elsewhere, I’ll go riding with ye tomorrow.”
“That isn’t exactly the promise I was seeking.”
She grinned. “Well, it’s the only one I’m prepared to give.”
He shook his head but smiled. Nothing with her was ever easy. “Then I suppose I’ll have to take it.”
She tilted her head to one side. “I expect ye’ll have to if ye want to go riding with me at all.”
“Bold lass.” He leaned down and kissed her. Not as passionately as he wished to, because they had an audience, but he kissed her nonetheless. It did thrill him that she always seemed to be knocked as much off-balance by the kisses they shared as he was.
“Good day, Sir Cade.” She hurried into the keep.
Sir Cade. He had begun to hate it when she called him that. He remembered the day he had pushed to know why she kept him at arm’s length. She had said she wished to be respected. He firmly believed he did respect her. But she had also said, “I’ll never be intimate with a man who I must address as ‘sir’.” There was absolutely no getting around the fact that he was a member of the nobility and she was not. He sighed and led his horse into the stable.
~ * ~
As Elizabeth walked into the keep, she realized she hadn’t fully thought out all the implications of staying in the thirteenth century—in Elsie’s body. She no longer had to worry about her choices resulting in long-term consequences for the lass. She was the lass now. The consequences would be hers to manage.
She allowed her thoughts to roam towards the man who sent her senses reeling every time they were together. She had never met a man like Cade, at least she didn’t think she had. Her thoughts flitted briefly to her first boyfriend, the first man she had ever slept with. He had been wonderful. Perhaps if the powers that be had stepped in to slow her down then, things with him might have been different. She had dated a few men since then and even though she enjoyed their company she had never been attracted to any of them as powerfully as she was to Cade. Maybe that’s why all of her relationships had ended in precisely the same way as the one with David had. Her busy work schedule interfered, and eventually the man would bow out. She tried to imagine dating Cade in the twenty-first century. A pleasant heat blossomed within her. She couldn’t imagine cancelling a date with him, even if she had worked twenty-four hours straight.
The Midwife: The Pocket Watch Chronicles Page 15
