She tried to twist her arm out of his grasp. “I said, nay. Ye have no right—”
He stopped and faced her, still holding onto her arm. “Ye really do have trouble remembering yer place. I have every right to ask ye to do something and expect it to be done.”
Incredulous she asked, “Are ye saying I can’t refuse ye? I thought it was a request, not a command.”
“Today they are one in the same. Ye’ve never refused to ride with me. Something is wrong—I’m certain of it—and I mean to find out what it is, but not in the middle of the great hall. Ye’ll ride with me today so we can sort this out privately.”
Elsie had hoped to let whatever this was between them simply cool with distance. The only thing that truly brought them together on a daily basis was these riding lessons. Therefore, putting an end to them would create the separation she needed. Ah well, if she had to face it head on, she would.
She waited quietly while he saddled the horses. Then remained equally silent as they rode through the village. He urged his mount into a canter, something he had only just begun to teach her and at which she’d had very little practice. She could barely keep up and lost any semblance of good form.
When they reached the wooded area, out of sight of the village he reined in and turned to look at her. “Ye ride well enough do ye? I’d say the last few minutes are proof that isn’t true wouldn’t ye?”
She bit her lip to keep from saying something he might consider cheeky. Clearly he wasn’t in a mood to find it charming.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
“I suppose it depends on one’s definition of well enough.” Damn it all, Elizabeth, that qualifies as cheeky.
His eyes narrowed. “Well, my definition includes cantering.”
“A pace, if I recall correctly, at which we never rode on the way here from Castle Macrae. And since yer reason for teaching me to ride was so that I could ride back there, I’m not sure I agree.” For the love of God, shut up, Elizabeth.
“I have had more than enough of yer impertinence. Do not push me farther.”
Yup. Not at all in the mood to find it charming.
He dismounted, lifted her from Edda’s back and secured both horses before turning his attention to her. “Now, explain to me why you didn’t wish to go riding this afternoon. An activity which, until today, ye seemed to like.”
She opened her mouth to answer and he put up a hand. “I’m warning ye, Elsie, think before ye speak, my patience has its limits.”
She took a deep breath. Her patience had its limits too, but she knew better than to point that out. “I think it’s better if we spend less time together.”
“For whom is it better? Because it isn’t better for me.”
“It’s better for me.”
“Why? Has this been a chore for ye? Do ye not enjoy it?”
“Nay. Ye know it isn’t that. I have quite enjoyed learning to ride.”
“Then why is it better for ye if we stop?”
“I’ve told ye before, I don’t wish to be the subject of unkind gossip.”
“Who’s been spreading gossip?”
“No one. Yet.”
“Then it’s not an issue.”
“But people are noticing the amount of time we spend together.”
He shrugged. “I don’t see any problem with that.”
“I suspect it isn’t a problem for ye, but it could easily become one for me.”
“I go riding with ye in the open. It’s all very innocent.”
She arched a brow at him but, considering the mood he was in, chose not to say anything.
He smiled for the first time since leaving the hall. “Fine. I taste yer sweet lips occasionally—far less often than I would wish—but where’s the harm in that?” As if to prove it to her he pulled her into his embrace. With one hand cupping the back of her head, he gave her an all-consuming kiss that came close to making her forget everything and left her breathless when he finally released her.
“Elsie, why are ye so set against this? I desire ye as I have never desired anyone before. And ye cannot deny that ye’re drawn to me too. Yer body responds to mine, instinctively. Yer lips answer my kisses with abandon.”
“Sir Cade, I won’t deny feeling attracted to ye.”
“Then why do ye resist me so?” Some of his earlier irritation was back.
“I’ve told ye that already. There is much more than attraction to consider here.”
“Nay, there isn’t. I adore ye. I like spending time with ye. I even like yer cheeky tongue, most of the time. We are as well suited as any two people ever were.”
Elizabeth sighed heavily, taking a step backwards. That was true. She had never met anyone whose company she enjoyed more and whose kisses so totally befuddled her. She blushed. “I agree. We are particularly well suited to each other—except for one minor detail.”
“I’m Laird MacKenzie’s heir. I’ve told ye before, that doesn’t have to stop us from being together.” His exasperation showed in his voice.
“Aye, ye’re Laird MacKenzie’s son and it does stop us from being together. We can’t be married and I won’t accept less. Ye’re allowed yer minor dalliances. No one will find yer behavior scandalous. Which is unfair on so many levels, I can’t even begin to explain it. But the fact remains, ye’re allowed to give in to yer desires and I’m not.”
Cade frowned. “Ye’re not a minor dalliance. I told ye, I’ve never felt this way before.”
“Be that as it may, even if ye declared that ye loved me it wouldn’t matter. The most I could ever be to ye, is yer mistress. Someday ye’ll marry, I’ll be set aside and my poor heart will be broken.”
“It’s far more likely, ye’ll go home to Macrae in a few months and leave my poor heart devastated. Why not take the pleasure we can from each other, in the time we have?”
Because I don’t intend to leave. Nay, she couldn’t say that. Not yet. She would go with the medieval approach. “Because I have nothing to offer my husband but myself—my innocence. I don’t wish to give that away lightly.”
Cade pulled her into his arms again. “I wouldn’t take it lightly. Elsie, I want ye for my own. Forever.”
“As a mistress. I’m sorry, no matter how I feel about ye, I will not agree to that.”
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “I know, and I shouldn’t even ask it of ye. It’s a common enough thing, but ye deserve better than that. Nevertheless, I want ye in my life.”
“So we’re back where we started. A bird may love a fish, but they don’t belong together any more than we do.” She stepped backwards, out of his embrace, out of his reach.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to accept that.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Ye’re a stubborn man Cade MacKenzie.”
“That can be a very good thing sometimes.” His smile nearly melted her resolve.
“I suppose it can be. And I would love for ye to find a way around this. But until ye do, I have to protect myself. Please say ye understand and let me step away while my heart is still intact. I need some distance from ye.”
He shook his head sadly. “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.”
“And ye won’t order me to go riding with ye?”
He sighed heavily. “Nay.” The pain in his expression mirrored her own, but she knew there was no other way.
Chapter 20
Easter morning dawned blustery and cold. It had been two weeks since Elizabeth had both made the decision to stay and asked Cade to maintain distance from her. During that time she had occasionally awakened in the cold pre-dawn hours and questioned her sanity, or at the very least her wisdom. The sights and smells that accosted her on a daily basis were not for the faint of heart. Still, each time she treated an injury or illness, or when she saw Jessie with her children or Wynda’s happy smile as she waited, flat on her back for time to pass, Elizabeth knew she was impacting lives here. Then too, when people called warm greetings to her or
stopped simply to pass the time of day she had a sense of belonging unlike any she had ever experienced. And just as she had on Ash Wednesday, every time she attended Mass she realized this time and place, the entire community, was having an impact on her as well.
Easter was nothing like Elizabeth expected. In her own time, if she wasn’t working, she went to church and either out to a nice lunch with friends, or on the rare occasion that she was at her parent’s home, dined with the family. She gave into her sweet tooth and indulged in marshmallow chicks and egg shaped chocolates. But other than that, it was nothing terribly exciting.
That was not the case at Carraigile. After the Easter Mass, a feast began that was much more lavish than the one held before Lent started. There were even more minstrels, some of whom had just arrived during Holy Week.
Elizabeth was asked to dance numerous times. She tried to beg off, explaining that she couldn’t dance, but each potential partner promised to teach her. She gave in to the few who were most persistent. Rory Chisholm was a glutton for punishment, pulling her into dance after dance.
Cade respected her request to maintain distance and didn’t ask her to dance as he had at the last feast. She knew that was for the best, but she didn’t like it. And that, if nothing else, reinforced the wisdom of her decision. She cared deeply for him. If she had let things go on as they had been, she might have lost her heart to him forever. Still, she couldn’t help glancing his direction occasionally, and each time she did, she found him watching her.
Elizabeth had to move past this and heed Morag’s advice but a little voice within her whispered that it was too late, she had already irrevocably given Cade her heart. She could not imagine a life with anyone else.
~ * ~
Cade couldn’t remember ever being more miserable. He suffered through the Easter feast as well as he could but he hated that Elsie was right there, in the same room, and he had agreed to stay away from her. From the day he met Elsie, he had made no secret of the fact that he desired her. He loved simply being with her. She was smart and funny. Her boldness amused him as much as her responsiveness to his kisses enflamed him.
And he couldn’t have her.
He watched her stumble through dance after dance with other partners. He wanted her stumbling with him. He wanted to catch her when she tripped over her own feet. He wanted to be the one to see her lopsided smile even as the hot blush rose in her cheeks. And he certainly didn’t want anyone else to kiss her until she forgot her embarrassment as he so desired to.
Even Eric danced with her and to add insult to injury, when another partner claimed her, Eric took the seat beside Cade.
“What ails ye coz?”
“Nothing.”
“Ye haven’t danced a single dance.”
“Nay, I haven’t.”
“I’m surprised ye haven’t had yer toes bruised yet by her charming wee self.”
Cade just glared at him.
Realization dawned on Eric’s face. “Ah, it happened didn’t it? Just as I said it might. Ye lost yer heart to her.”
It galled Cade to admit he was right. “Aye, I did.”
“So why is she dancing with everyone else. She seemed as taken with ye as ye are with her.”
“Because a bird can’t love a fish.”
Eric frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She doesn’t wish to be my mistress.”
“And ye can’t marry her. Ah, I understand, a bird and a fish.”
To his credit, Eric didn’t gloat.
~ * ~
Robin had been earning his keep as a minstrel for over ten years, ever since he was ten and seven. He liked the life of a musician. He liked being responsible to no one but himself. Five years ago he met Paul and they had traveled and performed together since then. Paul met his bonny Jean nearly two years ago. She had been a servant in Laird Fraser’s keep. Paul fell in love with her the moment he’d heard her sing. She had the voice of an angel. He begged her to marry him and sing with them. Minstrel groups usually didn’t have women performers. But this set them apart and made them memorable.
They never had trouble finding employment. Occasionally they were joined for a short time by one musician or another, but inevitably they parted ways. Robin never cared over much. The three of them were fine on their own. That was until a few months ago.
They had been invited to stay at Castle Macrae for the winter. Minstrels could hope for nothing better than to be asked to stay at a noble house during the bitterest months. Just before Christmas, a number of additional minstrels arrived for the celebrations between Christmas and Epiphany. Among them was a young lute player named Geordie.
Robin knew talent when he saw it—Geordie was a gifted musician with an incredibly unusual style. Robin asked the lad to join them and together, Jean, Paul, Geordie and Robin, made music that was uniquely beautiful.
Then tragedy struck. Geordie fell in love with Elsie, a pretty lass from the village. At first Robin feared Geordie wouldn’t want to leave with them in the spring. But then, Elsie disappeared. Laird Macrae said she had passed herself off as a skilled midwife and run away with some MacKenzie warriors. Geordie refused to believe that and feared for her safety. He decided he’d travel to the MacKenzie holding to find the lass. Robin had tried desperately to talk him out of it, even offering to go with him to Carraigile in the spring—perhaps at Easter. But Geordie insisted he could not wait. Unwilling to leave the comfort of a winter home, Robin agreed they’d join Geordie at the MacKenzie’s castle for Easter.
When they arrived at Carraigile yesterday, Robin inquired about Geordie, learning that the young lute player had never arrived.
Now he didn’t know what to think. Elsie was here, and she certainly didn’t seem to be in trouble. On the contrary, she seemed happy. Perhaps it was exactly as Laird Macrae had said, she chose to run away with the MacKenzie warriors. But Robin wasn’t sure what game she played. Elsie had loved to dance. It was what had drawn the lad to her in the first place. And yet, here she stumbled through dance after dance as one partner after another tried to teach her the steps.
Robin intended to find out all he could. God help her, if he learned everything Laird Macrae had said was true and Geordie had gone haring after the thoughtless lass.
Robin had always found serving maids to be the best source of information in any clan and he needed answers. A young woman named Shauna had served them ale during a break. As forward a lass as he had ever met, she wasn’t particularly attractive, but Robin suspected he could get several things that he needed from Shauna that night.
Other minstrels were playing a lively country dance so there was no better time to make a move. “Shauna, ye’ll break my heart if ye don’t give me a dance, pet.”
She grinned, sadly the smile doing nothing to improve her looks. “Aye, I’d love to.”
He danced several dances with her before collapsing onto a bench and pulling her onto his lap. “Ye’re an excellent dancer, pet.”
“I do love to dance.”
“I can tell. Ye’re much better than most of the other MacKenzie lassies. Take that one for example,” he motioned towards Elsie, “she’s dreadful.”
“Aye, she is, but she’s not a MacKenzie.”
“Nay?”
“Nay. She’s a Macrae.”
“Then why’s she here?”
Shauna pouted, in a way that he supposed was meant to be coy, but on her bony countenance became an unattractive scowl. “Ye don’t really want to talk about her do ye?”
“Nay, pet. But what I want to do, we can’t do here. I was just curious. The Macrae holding is quite a distance from here. Did she marry a MacKenzie clansman?”
“Nay. She’s a midwife, apparently a particularly skilled one. Laird MacKenzie sent for her to attend his wife.”
“She’s awfully young to be a midwife isn’t she?” Robin knew that Elsie was not a particularly skilled midwife. She had only just begun to train under her aunt. It seemed Lair
d Macrae had not lied about what Elsie had done.
“Aye, everyone says the same thing, but she seems to know what she’s doing.”
“Well, that’s a good thing. Now, let’s get back to a more interesting subject.”
“Like what?”
“Like what the lovely Shauna might have hidden here.” He slipped his hand under her skirts and slid it up her leg.
She giggled, spreading her legs a little wider. “I’m not hiding anything, but if ye have something to hide, I have a lovely place to put it.”
He gave a low growl. “Ah, lass, that sounds delightful and I might have the perfect thing to hide. Perhaps we can find a quiet nook and see if it fits.”
Shauna led him down stairs to an empty storage room. Once he had availed himself of both hiding places, he found his way back to the fete. Glancing around the hall, he found Elsie, then worked his way through the crowd until he reached her side.
“Elsie, it’s good to see ye looking well. We were worried about ye.”
Chapter 21
Elizabeth froze. The man at her side, one of the minstrels who had played earlier, seemed to know her, but she had never seen him before tonight. He must have known Elsie at Castle Macrae, before Elizabeth’s soul took up residence. Maybe she could bluff. “’Tis good to see ye too. How long has it been since ye were at Castle Macrae?”
“We only left a sennight ago, but Geordie left shortly after ye disappeared.”
“Disappeared? I didn’t disappear. Laird Macrae sent me here.”
“That isn’t the story Laird Macrae tells. He says four braw MacKenzie warriors were passing through the village and ye cajoled them into taking ye with them by saying ye were a midwife.”
Why on earth would Laird Macrae have made that up? It had been his idea. “I don’t understand, why would he lie?”
“He has no reason to lie that I can see, thus I’m not sure he’s the one lying.”
“Ye think I’m lying? Ask the MacKenzies. They arrived at Castle Macrae looking for a highly skilled midwife—my aunt, Dolina. Laird Macrae sent me instead.”
“Ye’re not a skilled midwife.”
The Midwife: The Pocket Watch Chronicles Page 17
