by Cheryl Holt
The entire trip from Africa, he’d avoided her. There was no point to fraternizing. He wasn’t interested in a continuing connection, was completely incapable of fidelity, and even if he could set aside his misgivings, he hadn’t the means to support her.
He had to stop pretending and leading her on. She had a strange opinion of him that didn’t match reality, and he liked that she viewed him as being a better man than he actually was.
He’d walked out onto a dangerous ledge with her, having agreed they’d wed the next day, but he would never bother the captain about it. Once they docked, Chase would hand his purse to Ralston so he could buy tickets for the ladies to travel on to Scotland. Then Chase would disappear without a goodbye. And he needed to remain gone until his ridiculous infatuation for Faith had waned.
Still though, he was so dreadfully lonely, and he liked her so much. He shut his eyes and tried to envision the life they might have had. He pictured a cottage in the country, a kitchen full of boisterous children, Faith leaned over and helping them with their school lessons.
Then he tried to insert himself into that picture, but it was impossible. He’d never wanted to be a father, had never wanted to live in the country. His obsession for her had to end! He was who he was: the illegitimate son of a wastrel French count, a libertine, a ne’er-do-well, the consummate scoundrel.
He shouldn’t have come within a hundred yards of a woman as decent and moral as Faithful Newton. It was insane to have trifled with her, but he’d warned her that he was unreliable and untrustworthy. Was it his fault that she refused to believe him?
No, it was not.
To his great astonishment, his door creaked as someone opened it. He couldn’t imagine who it might be but assumed it was Ralston.
He glanced over and was stunned to see Faith standing there. She was wearing a nightgown and robe, items he’d purchased for her in Portugal. Her hair was down and brushed out and she was barefoot. He suspected she was very, very naked beneath those two layers of fabric, and his cock sprang to attention.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” he said.
“I had to talk to you.”
“I can’t predict what will happen if you stay. Nothing good, I can tell you that.”
“I don’t care what happens.”
“You presume that now, but I doubt you still will in the morning.”
“I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t send me away.”
He pondered forever, then sighed. “All right, I won’t.”
He clasped her wrist and pulled her down so she was stretched out on top of him. For an eternity, he kissed her, loving the feel of her breasts and mons, her thighs and calves tangled with his own.
Eventually he slowed and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“If I say everything, you’ll think I’m a ninny.”
“Everything is wrong? That seems a bit melodramatic.”
“I was lying in my cabin listening to everyone breathe—Rowena snores—and I couldn’t bear it. I had to be with you.”
“It’s about time. I’ve been waiting for you ever since we left Africa.”
“You have not.”
“I have, but the only one who’s visited me so far has been Ralston, and he doesn’t provide quite the same excitement as you.”
“I’m delighted to have surprised you.”
“I simply wish you’d done it sooner.”
“I was mad to keep myself away from you. As I was fretting and stewing over my reticence, I tried to figure out why I did.”
“What did you decide?”
“I have no idea. Habit? Morals? What if we hit an iceberg—”
“An iceberg!”
“Yes, or encountered some other catastrophe and the ship sank. What if I never had the chance to know you like this?”
“I would definitely consider it to be a huge loss for you. Every female I’ve ever met has wanted to dally with me.”
She chuckled. “Vain beast.”
“So it’s your lucky night. You have me all to yourself.”
“It’s fine though, isn’t it? We’re marrying in the morning.”
She paused, anxious to be reassured, and cad that he was he said, “If you’re planning to tryst with me, I guess we’ll have to.”
“I can’t see how it’s a sin, can you? We’re just rushing the important part.”
“The vows are probably the most important part, but I suppose you’d view that as quibbling.”
“The vows and the intimacy make it official. We’ll get through the intimacy right now, and we’ll get through the vows when the captain performs the ceremony.”
Chase thought it would be a tad more difficult than that. If they awoke and were in the channel of the Thames, or had already docked, the captain would be too busy to fuss with them.
But he didn’t tell her so. He was terribly conflicted, his body urging him to hurry, but his mind screaming that he shouldn’t. His conscience was whispering that he didn’t have a conscience so he was rationalizing. If he forged ahead, he’d be giving her an experience she’d never have again once she was back at the convent.
Since she would become a nun, her virginity didn’t have to be protected for some nameless, faceless husband in the future. She could bestow the gift on Chase and he would always cherish it. There didn’t have to be any genuine harm. He’d pull out at the end so he wouldn’t leave her with child.
“Are you sure about this?” he inquired.
“Very sure.”
“You’re not afraid we might be caught?”
“It’s the middle of the night. Who would catch us, and so what if they did? I have no parent or brother on this ship. My life is my own.”
“True, and I’m glad you’ve realized it.”
“If we’re discovered, we can simply explain our intention to wed.”
“Yes, that would work.”
It was shocking how much he resembled every libertine who’d ever lived. Scoundrels promised matrimony to get what they sought, but in Chase’s world, they never followed through. He was no exception.
“I’d like to show you something,” he said.
“What is it? Is it the marital act husbands and wives carry out together?”
“Yes.”
“That’s what I want too.”
“You don’t know what you’re really asking.”
She scowled. “Meaning what? Is it horrid? Will I hate it?”
“It will always be spectacularly fun with me, but it can be overwhelming at first.”
“What does it entail? No one’s ever told me.”
“It’s merely physical conduct, but it’s very different from what you imagine.”
“Is it along the same lines of what we’ve attempted previously?”
“Yes, but more involved than that, so let me ask you again. Are you sure? Because there’s no going back. After we’re finished, if you wish we hadn’t proceeded, we can’t fix it.”
“I understand, but how can it matter, Chase? We’ll be married.”
“Just swear to me you won’t regret it later on.”
“Regret it? You’d mad! I could never regret anything I did with you.”
“No regrets,” he said.
“Never, ever,” she agreed.
He gazed at her, frozen on a precipice, riddled with desire, but besieged by doubts.
What could it hurt?
The question echoed in his head. He’d lusted after her for so long and she’d come to him of her own accord, had willingly and eagerly climbed into his bunk. She was practically begging to be ravished.
He shouldn’t. He didn’t want to wed her or be a husband. It wasn’t that he was finicky or choosey. He was simply broke and needed an heiress, and until that grand fiancée crossed his path he would remain a bachelor.
But…he was amazingly smitten and she was begging. And he’d warned her repeatedly.
What was a fellow to do?
He eased her onto her knees, loosene
d the belt on her robe, and yanked it off.
* * * *
Very quickly, Faith was clad only in her nightgown. It was sewn from a very thin, light-weight fabric and her arms were bare, much of her bosom too. She was incredibly excited, and her elevated pulse had brought her nipples to life. They were taut little buds that pushed against the material, the shape of her breasts clearly visible.
He drew her to him, and she thought he’d kiss her. He dipped down and sucked on her nipples instead, and they ached and throbbed.
She shouldn’t have visited him, but she’d been alarmed by Rowena’s comments about his character, how he wouldn’t keep a promise. Finally it had dawned on her that there was a way to guarantee he’d wed her. If they had marital relations, he couldn’t refuse to behave honorably.
She’d been reared in a moral home, had been lectured about purity and chastity. So it was difficult to shuck off all that sermonizing. Yet she’d changed very much since she’d met Chase Hubbard, and she no longer believed that such stunning pleasure was a sin.
Nor could she accept that loving Chase was wrong. Yes, that was what had happened. She was wildly, passionately in love. She was positive he loved her too, and if they were in love nothing was impossible.
He abandoned her bosom to capture her lips in a torrid kiss, and she kissed him back with all the affection a woman could bestow.
She still hovered over him, on her knees, her toes digging into the mattress. Gradually he was raising the hem of her nightgown, tugging it up her thighs. For a moment, she suffered a virginal fright and nearly stopped him, but at the last second she prevented herself.
She was ready to do whatever he wanted to cement their bond in the swiftest way available. She wouldn’t tremble and quake like a scared ninny.
Shortly the garment was up and over her head and she was naked, but there was no reason to be unnerved. The cabin was dark, a hint of moonlight shining in the small porthole so he couldn’t actually see her, which made the encounter seem even more thrilling and illicit.
He drew her down again so her breasts were resting on his chest. He was wearing only his trousers so his own chest was bare too. Her nipples were pressed to his hot skin and the sensation was riveting.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.
“So am I.”
“It was very daring of you.”
“It certainly was.”
“What spurred you to sneak in?”
“I told you. I’ve been a fool to stay away. It was ridiculous.”
“Yes, it was.”
“I was a few feet away, tossing and turning and missing you, and I decided to put myself out of my misery.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“I’ve corrupted you.”
“Yes.”
“Are you sorry?”
“No, why would I be? Besides, after we’re wed, we can do this all the time.”
He chuckled. “I’ve created a monster.”
“Yes, you have.”
“I wonder how I’ll keep up with you.”
“Why wouldn’t you be able to?”
“A man needs to catch his breath once in awhile.”
“Not just yet though.”
“No, not just yet.”
He began kissing her again and his hands were roaming, caressing her everywhere. He was driving her to such heights of ecstasy she couldn’t bear it.
He touched her between her legs, trifling with the sensitive spot he’d previously shown her. She was so on edge that she instantly soared to the heavens. She couldn’t help it. It had been so long since he’d held her, since they’d dallied.
She started to moan very loudly and might have cried out, which would have alerted others on the ship as to the mischief occurring. So he clapped a palm over her mouth to stifle the sound.
She spiraled up, then down, and as the agitation waned he was preening, grinning.
“You are such a gem,” he said.
“Am I?”
“Yes. The first time I laid eyes on you, I noticed all the temper and sass hidden under that black habit of yours. I knew there was a sexual creature buried in there that was begging to burst out.”
“I never had any idea.”
“Many women don’t ever realize it. It takes a man to bring it to the surface.”
“I’m lucky I met you then.”
“Think if you’d spent your whole life in the dark.”
“A truly depressing thought.”
He eased her down and she rested on his chest again, her body depleted, her limbs rubbery, her pulse racing.
Ultimately he said, “Are you still sure?”
“About what? About finishing this?”
“Yes.”
“Why must you keep asking? I’ve never been surer of anything.”
“Well, I’m going to pull you under me and once I have, I won’t be able to stop. If you panic and suddenly wish we wouldn’t proceed, it will be too late.”
“I swear I won’t panic. I’m not a silly girl fresh out of the schoolroom. I can choose what I want, and I want this. I want you.”
In the dim confines, she could hardly see him, but it seemed that he nodded. He slid to the side and rolled her, both of them having to maneuver carefully in the narrow space so she ended up on the bottom and he ended up on the top.
“I can’t believe I’m finally doing this,” he said.
“Doing what?”
“Making love to you. It’s what I’ve craved practically from the moment we met.”
“Not from the first moment,” she reminded him. “When we met, you were gruff, rude, and not interested in me in the slightest.”
“You were interrupting my fun and I hated to let you. But then you became my fun and I haven’t been the same since.”
“Neither have I.”
“Are you aware of what’s about to happen?”
“No. Rowena told me it’s very physical, but that’s about it. She wasn’t exactly clear on the details.”
He snorted with amusement. “Lord, help me. Two nuns, discussing carnal relations. Please don’t ever force me to sit through such a pathetic conversation.”
She pinched his waist and laughed. “I live in a convent. Who would have described the event? Rowena is the only one ever brave enough to talk about it.”
“She was correct that it’s physical.”
“Can you explain it to me?”
“It’s easier if I show you.”
“Whatever you want is fine by me.”
He scoffed. “When I’m such a libertine, you should never give me unbridled permission. You know I’ll take full advantage.”
“You’d better. It’s what I’m counting on.”
He sighed, his soft breath brushing her face. “My dear little, Faith, what am I to do with you?”
“Marry me, you dolt. It will solve all our problems.”
He started kissing her again, and she was immediately swept into the rising passion. There was no opportunity for her to ponder the fact that he hadn’t concurred with her comment that they would wed, that it would solve their problems.
She was overwhelmed by him, each touch electrifying, so she scarcely noticed he was unbuttoning his trousers. He tugged them down to his flanks so his loins were pressed to hers. The position was shocking and tantalizing, her anatomy seeming to weep with joy at having him so intimately situated.
He spread her thighs, his torso dropping between them so they were even more firmly connected. He slid two fingers into her sheath and stroked them in and out, in and out. He’d done it to her before, so it was a manipulation she recognized. Her hips responded, rocking gently against his hand.
Then he removed his fingers and something else was there, something bigger and wider. He wedged in the tip and she finally suffered the surge of alarm he’d warned her about. She didn’t plan to, but she instinctively tensed at the odd invasion.
“Wha
t are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m about to join my body to yours.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“One flesh, Faith, as it says in the Bible.”
“I’ve never understood that passage.”
“You’ll see in a minute.”
“It feels strange.”
“It’s always awkward in the beginning.”
He flexed, inserting the thing a tad deeper.
“What are you shoving into me?” she asked.
“Men and women are built differently in our private parts.”
“Rowena told me about that too. You have a sort of rod there.”
“Yes.”
“It grows hard when you’re aroused.” She scowled. “It’s hard now, so you’re…aroused?”
“Very aroused.”
“And I caused it?”
“Yes, and Faith?”
“What?”
“Please be quiet and let me finish.”
“Oh, yes of course. I’m sorry. What should I do?”
“Wrap your arms around my neck.”
“Like this?”
“Yes, and hold me tight. Try to relax.”
“I’m trying. It’s very peculiar.”
“It will be over shortly.”
They began again and he played with her nipples, driving her up and up the ladder of desire. She could feel her ardor rising, cresting. All the while, he was pushing, pushing, pushing. Suddenly bliss swept over her, and as it did, he gripped her hips and thrust fiercely.
There was a tear, a sting of pain, then…he was fully impaled.
He kept himself very still as she cataloged the sensations careening through her. Joy. Ecstasy. Terror. Fear. Contentment. Her mind was a teeming cauldron of mixed and confused emotion.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“Just a bit more. Don’t let go of me.”
“I won’t ever let go.”
He propelled himself into her, then withdrew, entered then withdrew. It was difficult to move in the cramped space. Her head was bumping into the wall and he was banging his elbow. But he was very determined, very resolute, growing more ferocious by the second.
He gave a desperate shove and moaned low in his throat. He grappled with her, struggling to pull away for some reason, but in the tiny bunk he couldn’t manage it.
