by Cheryl Holt
He collapsed onto her and because he was such a large man, he should have felt heavy, but he didn’t. He felt very, very welcome.
For a long while, they snuggled together, and she seemed to be very sad, which was ridiculous. She wasn’t sad. She was very, very happy. She’d reached out and secured her future. It was the one truly brave, daring act she’d ever accomplished. Why then, was she so distraught?
He turned her onto her side and spooned himself to her, his front pressed to her back all the way down. He stroked a lazy hand up and down her arm.
“Did you survive it?” he asked.
“Yes, but it was very different from how I thought it would be.”
“Told you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t try to describe it. I wouldn’t have believed you.”
“It’s definitely extraordinary.”
“I’m not a…virgin anymore, am I?”
“No, your virginity has been cast to the four winds.”
“Could I be with…child now?”
She whispered a prayer, hoping it was the case. The notion of having his babe inside her was too dear to imagine.
But he quashed her excitement by insisting, “No, you’re not with child.”
“How does it occur?”
“At the end, the man shoots a liquid seed into the woman’s womb. It causes a babe to grow.”
“And you shot this seed into my womb?”
“Yes. I didn’t mean to though. I intended to pull away, but I couldn’t.”
“So…it might have happened.”
There was an incredibly long pause, then he said, “It never happens the first time.”
She offered another prayer, yearning to be unique, to have it transpire immediately. She smiled, delighted with herself and what she’d wrought. If she was increasing, he would be even more fully bound to her.
She’d escaped from her prior life, had forged a new one with Chase. A husband! Perhaps a son or daughter! She’d never expected to have either so it was an exhilarating prospect.
Behind her, Chase yawned.
“Are you tired?” she asked.
“You wore me out. How about you? Are you exhausted?”
“Yes, I’ve just realized I’m very tired too.”
He yawned again, his body relaxing.
“What do we do now?” She wished they could lie there for all eternity.
“Now…we nap for a bit, and when we awaken we do it again.” He rose up and kissed her cheek. “Unless you’re too sore?”
“I’m not too sore.”
He plopped down and drifted off. She nestled with him, and though she was weary she couldn’t rest. She was too overwhelmed.
She had no idea how he could simply doze off. She was eager to talk and talk, to review every single detail, but he was a very typical male so most likely he’d hate to chat about it.
She stayed until the light outside began to change. Dawn was about to break, and while they were betrothed and she wasn’t ashamed of their behavior, she didn’t want others to know what they’d perpetrated until she could announce that a wedding was imminent.
She slipped off the mattress and stood gazing down at him. She couldn’t really see him, but she stared anyway.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Then she spun and, on shaky legs, tiptoed out. She returned to her lonely bunk in her own cabin. Rowena was still snoring, the girls slumbering soundly. Not a person stirred to inquire as to where she’d been.
And for the moment that was fine.
* * * *
Rowena crept off her bunk and tiptoed out of her cabin. Everyone was asleep, especially Faith who was the only one who counted. Rowena would hate to be caught, and while—at this late date—it didn’t matter, she’d rather not quarrel.
She knew Faith’s opinion about the convent, that Rowena should stay in it, and Rowena wasn’t about to explain that she had no intention of doing that.
Ralston slept in a hammock next to the galley, and they’d discovered a small closet behind it. It was simple to sneak off with him and secrete themselves away as they furtively had for much of the voyage.
The cook had likely noticed her clandestine visits though and a few of the sailors probably suspected. But she’d never see any of them again so she didn’t care what they thought about her conduct.
As she arrived at Ralston’s side, he was already watching for her. He rolled to the floor, and they clasped hands and hurried to their hiding place.
They began as they always did, with an ardent round of kissing and caressing. Each stealthy meeting was more passionate than the last. How would they ever wait until they were wed? He was adamant about the delay, and they argued over it incessantly.
“Why were you awake?” she asked as their lips finally parted.
“The crew is up and rushing about.”
There were always sailors on duty, but during the night, the ship was mostly quiet.
“Are we approaching the coast?” she inquired.
“We must be. The captain told me yesterday that we were very close.”
“So…we’re almost home.”
“Well, I am anyway. You still have some distance to go.”
“Tell me our plans. I don’t want to forget anything.”
“You’ll journey on to Scotland with Faith and the girls.”
“I wish you could travel with us.”
“I can’t afford it, and I wouldn’t pester Chase for the fare. I’m not certain he could afford it either, and I won’t make him feel guilty that he can’t pay my way.”
“I suppose we’ll be safe enough. It’s just that I’ve gotten used to having you around to protect me.”
“This is boring, stable England, Rowena, not the wilds of Africa. You’ll be fine.”
“Yes, I’m sure I will be.”
“You’ll be in Scotland before you know it.”
“You’ll send for me.”
“Yes, and let’s review. When will that occur?”
“As soon as you’re able.”
“You will never, ever become a nun—even if they tie you down and force the vows out of you.”
She chuckled. “That will never happen.”
“It might be difficult for me to find a new position.”
“I understand.”
“You will not grow impatient.”
“Oh, I absolutely won’t.”
They both chuckled. Rowena had no patience whatsoever.
“If worse comes to worst,” he said, “I’ll bring you to my mother’s house.”
“Please don’t let that be our ending.”
“She’s a very nice woman.”
“I have no doubt she is, but please don’t let that be our ending.”
“How badly do you want to be my bride?”
“Very badly, but not badly enough to live with your mother.”
“You have to accept that we might wind up with her for a spell.”
“All right,” she grumbled.
She couldn’t imagine a more horrid scenario. What bride would blithely agree to reside with her mother-in-law? His mother was likely very kind, but Rowena wasn’t taking any chances.
If his mother decided he shouldn’t wed Rowena, she’d be an impossible obstacle to Rowena’s happiness. If she sniped and complained, Rowena wasn’t the sort of daughter who could be silent.
Her greatest fear was that—once he was with his family again—they would dissuade him from the marriage. They would convince him it had been a fleeting amour, pursued during an adventurous episode and not to be relied on as genuine. After all, she was a stranger, and they knew nothing about her.
Or, more terrifying still, they might have already found a girl for him while he was away, a pretty, shy girl from the neighborhood. They’d persuade him to settle for their choice instead of his own. What would she do then?
“Has Mr. Hubbard talked to you about Faith?” she asked.
“You constantly raise the
issue, Rowena, and my answer is the same. He’s never uttered a word about her—except that he thinks she’s bossy and overbearing.”
“Since the trip is almost over, I thought he might have unburdened himself.”
“He wouldn’t. He’s not the type to chirp like a magpie.”
“I was positive romance had blossomed between them. Remember that evening I told you about when they’d been swimming on the beach?”
“I can’t quite credit it. If Chase was dallying with her, you shouldn’t expect it meant very much to him. He’ll lift any skirt he sees.”
“Yes, but they looked so…smitten.”
“Chase too?”
“Yes. I figured they were in love.”
He laughed. “Chase Hubbard, in love? Now you’re spewing nonsense. He’s a confirmed bachelor, Rowena. You shouldn’t hope for a miracle.”
“I like Faith so much, and she’s always been my friend. If I leave the convent, and she doesn’t, it will seem as if I abandoned her.”
“She could visit us.”
“It’s not that easy to be granted a sabbatical. And what about the girls? If I manage to escape, Faith will feel duty-bound to stay and care for them.”
“Yes, but aren’t they going to live with an uncle?”
“They have two, and they’re in India. We’ll write to them from Scotland, but it might be years before they respond.”
Ralston liked the girls as much as she did, but he said, “Don’t you dare remain there because of them. When I send for you, you have to come.”
“I will.” She pondered for a moment, then asked, “What if I brought them with me? I could probably get permission. We could keep them until we hear from their relatives.”
“It will depend on what situation I find for us. If we’re renting a squalid room in a boarding house, we wouldn’t have the space, and I don’t know how I’d feed or educate them.”
“But we can discuss it?”
“Of course.”
Suddenly there were tromping feet overhead on the deck. Whistles were blowing, doors slamming, people shouting. She peeked out, but no one rushed by.
“What on earth is happening?” Ralston mused.
“Let’s go topside,” she said. “I want to see what’s occurring.”
She sneaked out, went to the hatch and scrambled up the ladder, Ralston hot on her heels. Dawn had broken, the sky light enough for her to observe that they weren’t out on the ocean, but moving up the Thames.
She hurried to the rail with him. For once, he audaciously slipped an arm around her waist, and she took it as a sign of how overwhelmed they were. They stood together watching the bow cut into the water.
She was swamped by genuine regret, hating for the journey to be over. She’d toured the world and suffered catastrophe and fallen in love. Now…it was all done. Their plans would come to fruition—or they wouldn’t. If he didn’t follow through as he’d vowed he would, she truly believed she’d die from unhappiness.
“Good old England,” he said.
“Are you glad to be home?”
“I have mixed feelings. It’s wonderful to return to the familiar, but dash it, I had a grand experience.”
“I was thinking the same.”
“I’ll never forget a minute of it.”
“Neither will I.”
“If I hadn’t gone to Egypt, I’d never have fought pirates or rode horses on the beach or…swum without clothes!”
“You rascal, you.”
He sighed. “I’d never have met Chase.”
“I’d never have met you.”
She burst into tears, which left him aghast. “What’s this? You can’t be sad. We’re at the beginning of everything. We’re just starting out. There’s no better place to be.”
“Promise you’ll send for me.”
“I promise.”
“And that you won’t take too long.”
“I’ll arrange my affairs as quickly as I’m able.”
“And…and…you won’t become smitten by some other girl while we’re separated?”
“Is that what’s worrying you?”
“I’m so afraid.”
“My dearest, Rowena”—he patted her hand and squeezed her fingers—“I could never pick another over you.”
“Swear you mean it.”
“I swear.” Always the gallant, he drew a kerchief from his pocket. “Dry your eyes and celebrate. We made it safe and sound.”
“Safe and sound,” she repeated.
“I’m ready for the next part of our adventure to commence. How about you?”
“I can’t wait.”
Boldly she snuggled herself to his chest, and they tarried, the mighty river pulling them home once and for all.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Faith jerked awake and held herself very still. Something was very strange and she tried to figure out what it was. There was no porthole in her cabin so it was difficult to surmise if it was day or night, but obviously she’d overslept.
Rowena and the girls were up and gone, and Faith hadn’t heard a peep out of them, which was odd. They were a noisy bunch.
She rolled onto her back and stretched her legs, her body protesting its altered condition, reminding her of how she’d bound herself to Chase. She couldn’t quite believe she wasn’t returning to the convent.
When she recollected how fervidly she’d quarreled with her father about joining the Sisters of Mercy, it was hilarious to realize she didn’t really wish to be there. She was curious over how he’d take the news. No doubt he’d vehemently chastise her for the money and years wasted.
Gradually she recognized what was different—besides herself, that is. The ship had stopped. At sea, constant motion was the norm, but they were no longer gliding in the waves. She was certain of it.
Were they in London? If so, she’d slumbered through the whole event!
She leapt up, washed and dressed, then hastened up to the deck. After so many weeks on the ocean, the hectic sight that greeted her was disconcerting. They’d arrived. There were ships lined to the horizon. Down on the wharf, it was wall to wall people, horses, carriages, vendors, crates, and luggage being loaded and unloaded.
On her own vessel, sailors were rushing about, orders being shouted, cargo being moved. She walked to the rail and discovered Rowena and the girls down on the dock with Mr. Robertson. She scanned the crowd, searching for Chase, but couldn’t locate him anywhere.
Mary saw her first, then Rowena who called, “We didn’t think you’d ever get up.”
“I guess I was exhausted,” she replied.
“Come down, come down!”
The rest of the group urged her to descend too, so she did. At the bottom of the gangplank, the girls converged, Mary and Martha chattering away, Millie tugging on her skirt, smiling but still not talking.
Faith tried to listen to all of them at once, but it was impossible. She gazed across their heads to Rowena and asked, “How long have you been down here?”
“A few hours,” Rowena answered.
“Hours! What time is it?”
“Past noon, I suppose.”
“Noon! I apologize.”
“What for?”
“For being such a slugabed.”
“You hardly need to apologize for that,” Mr. Robertson said. “We’ve been twiddling our thumbs with nothing to do. If you’d been with us, you’d have been twiddling your thumbs too.”
“Where is Mr. Hubbard?” she inquired, struggling to appear casual.
“He went to secure lodgings for you for tonight and to purchase your coach fares for tomorrow.”
She was taken aback. Surely he didn’t mean Chase was purchasing fares for her. Mr. Robertson had to mean for everyone else. Yet even as she considered the prospect, she worried about the girls. It didn’t seem right to abandon them in London, to send Rowena on with them while Faith remained in the city with Chase.
The three girls were more Faith’s burden than Rowena’s.
Faith had been in charge of them during their failed journey. Could she simply announce that the journey was over and she was leaving them? She didn’t think so.
She wondered if she shouldn’t travel to Scotland with them, situate them at the convent, then return to England. How she wished Chase hadn’t flitted off! She had so many questions for him, and she wanted to be with him too.
The world was moving too fast. The noise and commotion made her dizzy, had her anxious and jumpy.
“Is he buying tickets for all of us?” she asked.
Her query had to sound peculiar because Mr. Robertson responded, “Well, for all of you ladies. He and I aren’t going.”
“Oh, of course not.” She frowned and steadied her breathing. “Are we continuing on to Scotland immediately?”
“In the morning most likely.”
“I see…” she murmured.
Rowena piped in with, “London is so expensive, Faith. We can’t expect Mr. Hubbard to dole out the last of his funds on meals and hotels for us. He’s already been incredibly generous.”
“Yes, he has.”
Mr. Robertson ruffled Millie’s hair and said, “The way these monsters eat, we’d beggar him in a day!”
This elicited cries of protest from the girls. They were merry, laughing, agog at the clamor and crowds. Mr. Robertson and Rowena were merry too. Only Faith was distraught.
Where was Chase? How could he hop out of bed and proceed with his errands as if naught had happened between them? How was she to view such blatant disregard?
The next two hours were a whirl of activity. Chase never arrived, but he sent a carriage and porter to help with their luggage. They went on board to pack their small pile of belongings, then they were transported to a coaching inn a short distance from the docks. It wasn’t fancy, but clean and functional.
They were fed, then shown up to a room where all five of them would stay together. But Faith was hardly in a position to complain. They were completely at Chase’s mercy and living on his charity. It was fortunate he had any money to assist them, and she was trying to be grateful, trying to be glad, but she couldn’t manage it.
As the afternoon dragged on, as evening approached, she began to suspect she’d never see Chase again. With each passing minute, her despair increased until she was scant more than a lump in the corner.
