At Seddon Station

by Sheila Horgan

  Her grades were good, really good. She allowed herself a moment of pride, and a brilliant smile reached first her lips, then her eyes. For the first time, in a really long time, she radiated pure joy.

  It was at that moment Cooper saw her. He was dazzled. Completely taken aback. She was stunning. He had to introduce himself before she got away.

  The introduction turned into a long conversation over a cup of coffee. He allowed as how the whole world knew him as Cooper. His last name. One she should get accustomed to. His smile made her heart leap.

  The coffee turned into a first date.

  Then it was weekly movies.

  Then it was more often still, and before she had her teaching certificate, Carolyn had a diamond on her finger and a man that would do anything for her.

  She loved him.

  Not the same love she had had for Emerson, but didn’t they always say a first love was a special love? Emerson was taken. She had to move on.

  Their wedding was in the springtime. It was a lovely ceremony. Her mother had seen to all the arrangements. Carolyn had hardly had a say in most of them, but if she were honest with herself, she was just as happy to have it that way. They had a nice service in the church and then a reception immediately following in the basement downstairs.

  Her dress was beautiful. A Skinner satin gown that had been tailored to fit her perfectly. There were appliques and three kinds of lace, and the sleeves came to a point on the top of her hand, with a little thread ring that wrapped around her finger and kept them in place perfectly. There must have been three dozen satin-covered buttons down the back, and it took her mother most of ten minutes to get them all done up. She wore white satin-covered shoes with a sixpence taped in the bottom for luck. Carried her mother’s hankie and wore her grandmother’s pearls and had a whole glass of champagne at the reception.

  She had a beautiful suit to wear when they left. They’d stayed in town at a hotel their first night as a married couple and then boarded a bus first thing in the morning and went to the beach for a full week of honeymoon.

  They had a good life.

  A very good life.

  Their first apartment was little more than a studio, but they loved every square inch and had breakfast at a little table in the alcove every morning. While sharing their plans for the day, they would each have a fried egg and two pieces of bacon and toast. Every morning. Until the grease of the bacon and egg was more than Carolyn’s stomach could deal with, and for the next three months, it was warm milk and dry toast.

  The thought of having a baby thrilled them and scared them to death.

  By the time baby number two came along, they had saved enough for a little house on the edge of town. Carolyn was working only part-time, and Cooper had never been happier.

  The baby wasn’t feeling at all well, and the doctor said some fresh air was in order, so each day Carolyn walked her children to the park to get some sun and fresh air. She loved the peaceful setting. Watched the birds by the pond, and every now and again, she would hear the rustle of something wild in the nature area.

  She was busy trying to figure out just what was thrashing through the bushes when she heard his voice. She’d know it anywhere. All the rest of her days. “Carolyn?”

  “Emerson! What are you doing here?”

  “I had to see you.”

  “See me? For what?”

  The baby started to stir. Carolyn took just a moment to wrap her neatly in a receiving blanket and bring her up onto her shoulder.

  “I’ve missed you.”

  Carolyn couldn’t begin to process what had just been said to her. She was a married woman. Two young children, for goodness’ sake. Emerson had made his choice, and his choice was another woman. She wasn’t sure what he intended, but was very sure his intentions were not appropriate.

  If she could just convince herself they were unwelcome, that would be the end of it.

  “I’m not at all sure my husband would appreciate your comment, Emerson. Why are you here? What do you want from me?”

  “Nothing, really. I just wanted to make sure you’re happy. That your life is what we talked about, even if it isn’t with me.”

  “Well, no, of course it isn’t what we talked about. I was going to be a military wife. Travel the world. See every sight. That all changed at the railway station. I’ve moved beyond those childish dreams, Emerson.”

  Just feeling his name on her tongue was disturbing, but she wasn’t at all sure it was negative.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you, Carolyn. It was never my intent.”

  “These things happen.” She could think of nothing else to say that didn’t contain venom or longing. “Things always work out as they should. How’s your wife?” She couldn’t keep the resentment out of her tone, and it cut him deeply.

  “I can say nothing bad about her. She’s a dutiful woman. Ours is not a marriage that brings either of us contentment.”

  It was unkind, but his torment actually made her feel a bit better. She couldn’t help but add to it. “Cooper and I are quite content. We are building a lovely life for ourselves. We have the children. We are blessed with a nice home. He’s a good father and supports us well.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Carolyn. I’m glad you’re happy.”

  He put his hat back on his head and walked away without turning back for a last glance at her. She had hoped he would. Turn and look at her. She had her face arranged perfectly. One baby on her shoulder. Another playing at her feet. She was the epitome of a happy woman.

  Carolyn gathered her children, brought them home, and put them down for a nap. She tended the flowers in the front yard. Newly planted, they required her attention. She started dinner. Unsettled, she wandered from room to room. While she loved the summertime and the freedom of no work outside the home, it often left her with too much time to think.

  Emerson said he was glad she was happy.

  Was she?

  When was the last time she had been truly happy?

  When Coop got home, he arrived in style. He bounded through the front door, told her she looked beautiful, and presented her with a bouquet of flowers. “Call your mother. Ask if she can stay with the children. We’re going out.”

  “But I already have dinner prepared.”

  “Your mother and father can eat it. We’re hitting the town. I just got a promotion. A good one. Honey, we’re on our way.”

  The next several months were a whirlwind of dinners with associates and grading papers. The baby had weak lungs, and throughout the winter, they were always trying one thing or another, but by the end of spring, she seemed healthy and was a chubby little thing with rosy cheeks, and all was right with the world.

  Coop bought Albert a tricycle, and they made their way around the block each evening. The whole family. Coop riding herd on Albert, and Carolyn pushing Ellen in the stroller. They were the ideal little family as they walked around the block, working off their dinner and getting some fresh air.

  Carolyn could hardly think of a thing she could want for.

  Hardly.

  That next January there was an illness moving from one family to the next. Carolyn’s mother thought it would be the death of them all. Several people from the church had ended up in the hospital, and half the town was shuttered in their homes, either keeping to themselves in fear of catching something or in fear of giving it to others.

  Cooper, always the healthiest of their brood, was worried for his father. He’d come down with “it” and was weak as a kitten.

  Carolyn was run ragged. With the children, helping with Coop’s parents as well as her own, and trying to keep up with the house and school, it was becoming more than she could bear.

  Coop came home to a dinner of pancakes. His usual smile in place, he pulled Carolyn into his arms. “Why are you doing all of this? We can afford for you to stay home as you should. How about you tell them down at the school that you’re to become a right and proper housewife.”

&nbs
p; “Really? Can we afford it?”

  “You know we can.”

  “Well, maybe, just until next year, or until the children are well involved in school themselves.” He’d caught her in a weak moment. She was so tired. She had so many responsibilities. A break from teaching would do her good.

  With that hopeful thought, Carolyn quit her job and became all but isolated from everyone in town. She knew most everyone with children, but didn’t socialize much. She had her husband and her children and went about being the best housewife she could be.

  The house was always spotless. The children always well turned out. The garden was the talk of the neighborhood, and she even had time to cook a meal for her in-laws once a week. They hadn’t bounced back after being ill, or so they said. She thought it more a test of her loyalty to the family, but didn’t mind. They were always gracious to her, if not loving or kind, and that was enough.

  Coop kept moving up the ladder at work. He wanted to sell their little house and buy something much more grand, but Carolyn loved her home, every inch of it, and tried to talk him out of it.

  In the end, Coop had pulled rank, and they’d ended up in a beautiful ranch home out by the lake.

  The house was stunning, she had to admit it. With a step-down living room and a small room to the back that Coop used as an office most evenings, it had everything a woman could want for her family. They were content.

  Carolyn planted another garden. She tended it herself, but a boy from down the street cut their lawn. Coop didn’t like the neighbors thinking he had his wife doing menial labor. He insisted to Carolyn she had enough to do watching the children and caring for him. When Ellen entered second grade and Carolyn broached the subject of returning to work, Coop had actually laughed out loud. “There’s no need.”

  “I thought it might be fun. The house is so organized it practically runs itself. The children are well in hand. I have hours a day I have nothing at all to do. I thought perhaps just half the day. I could teach a kindergarten class. I would go to school with Ellen and Albert and be home with them as well. There would really be no papers to grade or preparation. No one would be inconvenienced in the least.”

  “Hun, there’s no need. With this new position, I think I might be asked to travel. You can’t possibly believe you can manage all this without me here and working as well.”

  Carolyn didn’t mention that Coop did nothing around the house. With the exception of checking the car—infrequently—there was not a single thing that required his attention. She would hardly notice his being on the road. He left for work early, often came in late.

  They had a good marriage. He was an excellent provider. She had everything a woman could possibly want. She got a generous allowance every week to buy groceries, and Coop made sure by the end of each month there was enough left for her to buy whatever it was she wanted. She had beautiful clothing and got her hair professionally done more regularly than was truly necessary. Her children were happy and healthy. Her husband adored her. She had the perfect life.

  Coop was out of town. Had been for more than two weeks. Life was rolling along, completely uneventful, as usual, when her mother called.

  “Do you remember that young man? Emerson?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “I’ve gotten a call from one of the ladies at the church. His wife was in to deliver their latest child last night. Things did not go well. She lost a lot of blood. Now there are further complications. It isn’t looking at all good for her. The church is looking for volunteers. To help with their other children. To provide food. That sort of thing. I told Bernadette that you were much too busy. Just how would it look if you were seen with that man, with your husband always out of town? It would be all the talk, as if there isn’t enough chatter already.”

  “Don’t be silly, Mother. Emerson and I have moved on with our lives. I’m a happily married woman.”

  “Word has it that he is not a happily married man. Your husband is never at home. You only have two children, when obviously you could well afford as many as you were able. It would be unseemly.”

  “I had no idea there was such talk, Mother. Coop and I would love to have more children. It just hasn’t happened for us.”

  “Perhaps if he were to be home more often.”

  “Mother, that is none of your concern. Thank you for the information. Should you hear of anything I can do to be of help, please let me know.”

  Carolyn hung up gently. The older her mother got, the more unpleasant she seemed to become. Carolyn was finding it more and more difficult to hold her tongue.

  Emerson’s wife. In the hospital.

  When Carolyn found herself smiling, she was horrified.

  FOUR

  CAROLYN FOUND HERSELF lying in bed in Adeline’s condo and wasn’t really sure if she had been sleeping or remembering.

  Everything came back to her as if it had been moments, not decades, since it happened. Emerson still, after all these years, had such a strong pull on her. Maybe it was a mistake to go to the cemetery.

  Coop had long since made his peace with all of it, and he was gone now, but she felt as if she had betrayed him all over again.

  She couldn’t get back to sleep and decided to sneak out into the kitchen and make herself a little something. Maybe a little busy work would take her mind off the past. Perhaps she should make something sweet for the girls when they got up in a few hours.

  As she turned the corner, her slipper on her right foot got tangled up in her robe, and she went down. Hard.

  Anna came running.

  Adeline not far behind her.

  “Carolyn? Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine. I just tripped on this stupid robe. I keep telling myself I’m going to hem it, and I never do.”

  As Carolyn started to move, she gasped.

  “Wait a moment. Take your time. Make sure you are well.” Adeline’s concern made Carolyn’s heart beat a little faster.

  “No, really, if you’ll just give me a hand.”

  Anna reached for her friend, but as they started to assist her, Carolyn turned a scary shade of pale. “I might not be as fine as I thought.”

  “What hurts?” Anna was already in first-aid mode.

  “It’s kind of hard to tell. My hip, maybe? My back? It all just seems to be screaming at me.”

  “I’m going to get assistance.”

  “Please, Adeline, I think I’ll be alright. Maybe just an ice pack and a dunce cap. Really, I did this to myself.”

  “Don’t be silly. We’ll just go in and have you checked out. We’ll be back in time for breakfast. I really don’t think you should try to stand on your own. Will you just stay there until assistance is available?”

  “I don’t really think I have a choice.” Carolyn took a deep breath. She was obviously in a great deal of pain. A shine developed on her forehead and top lip. There was no color in her cheeks at all.

  Perhaps she was getting shocky. There was nothing Anna could do, afraid to move Carolyn at all. If things progressed any further, Anna might be forced to make a decision, but for the moment, she sat on the floor, physically supporting her friend and praying that someone that had the appropriate medical knowledge arrived before Carolyn got worse.

  Adeline called for paramedics and quickly got dressed.

  Then it was Anna’s turn to throw on some clothes while Adeline supported Carolyn. The whole process took only a few minutes, but Carolyn’s color was becoming increasingly concerning, and the girls were anxious.

  They made sure they had Carolyn’s purse, and a change of clothes, as Carolyn insisted it would be a quick trip to the clinic, and she would check out just fine.

  Anna and Adeline exchanged a look, but dutifully gathered everything Carolyn requested.

  Adeline rode in the ambulance with Carolyn. Anna was right behind them in Adeline’s car. By the time Anna had parked outside the emergency room and had all but run into the facility, they had Carolyn in an exam roo
m. Anna took up a station right outside the door to the exam rooms and waited for word. She assumed it would be hours. She was wrong.

  Adeline walked out the door and straight to Anna. “The doctor has seen Carolyn, and they’ll be running some tests. Right now they’re changing her into a hospital gown. I said I would come get you.”

  “Oh, Adeline, I’m sure they only allow one person in at a time.”

  “Yes, that is their policy, but I’ve made a call, and their procedures have been, shall we say, amended. Carolyn will be brought to a private area, and she will be attended to properly.”

  “It’s an emergency room. They take the most critical person first. I don’t really think we have control over that.”

  “Yes, but I took the liberty of impressing on the head of the hospital how Carolyn is in pain and a woman of some maturity. If in fact she requires surgery, that would make her critical enough.”

  “Surgery?”

  “I am not a doctor, obviously, but from everything being said, I believe she broke a hip. If it is the case, they may well have to replace it.”

  “Are we that far down the road, yet?” Anna’s concern was all over her face.

  “No, but arrangements are being made for the best to be available should it become necessary.”

  “Well, good, but I wouldn’t want to be sitting out here when everyone else gets thrown to the back of the line.”

  “That is not what will happen. I assure you.”

  “Okay. When can I see her?”

  “I would think they have her changed by now. Follow me.”

  Adeline walked in as if she owned the place.

  For just a fraction of a second, Anna allowed herself to wonder if maybe she did.

  Adeline led the way to a quiet cubby near the back of the busy emergency room. There was a handsome young doctor already seeing Carolyn. “Mrs. Cooper, we’re going to give you something for the pain right away. Do you have any allergies?”

  “No, none.”

  “Once the medication has taken effect, and you’re a bit more comfortable, we’re going to ascertain just what’s going on here.”