At Seddon Station

by Sheila Horgan

  Anna slowly shook her head. “You just never know what people are thinking, do you?”

  Evelyn’s head was starting to droop. “Just let me get her cleaned up. I’ll be right back.” Suzi gently carried her daughter upstairs.

  The subject changed, but Cara worried that she’d said too much.

  Nothing to be done about it now. She’d call Morgan in the morning and let her know the cat was completely out of the bag. A phrase her mom used, and she and Teagan had teased her about.

  The evening was lovely, and Cara appreciated it, but she couldn’t let go of the fact her mother should have been a part of it.

  Evelyn was in her cute little pink pajamas, all clean and reenergized. Some nights, her bath completely knocked her out, and some nights, it was like giving the child an espresso.

  A.J. took Evelyn on a tour around the backyard to see the new flowers in bloom. Again. Evelyn never got tired of the tour, and neither did A.J. The girls watched.

  Anna was the first to comment. Quietly. “He needs to be a daddy.”

  “I think they’re trying. The doctor cleared them to try again before the wedding. Cara told Suzi they weren’t really trying, that they just weren’t avoiding.” Carolyn smiled.

  “So many decisions for youngsters today. In my day, you just had your babies,” Adeline whispered.

  “Unless you couldn’t.” Anna took a deep breath.

  “But it sounds like you have a closer relationship with Morgan than most women and their adult children. I’d gladly provide you with my older two, Anna.”

  “Isn’t that something? I never would have guessed in a million years. I’ve made my plans. Long-term care and all of it. Had to set aside a pretty penny. I would never take advantage of Morgan and Liam like that, they have their own lives to live, but just thinking they thought about it makes my heart sing.”

  Carolyn shook her head. “If there’s only one thing I’ve learned from Belinda and her situation, I will never be a burden on my family. Ever.”

  Cara was standing behind her. “No, you never will be. But that doesn’t mean you can’t come live with us.” She put the dessert dishes on the table, bent in two and gave Carolyn a hug and kissed her cheek. “We never considered it our burden if you wanted to live with us. We consider it a favor or a gift, and A.J., the kids, and I would be on the receiving end.”

  Cara headed back toward the kitchen without further comment.

  Adeline was smiling. “I do love that girl. Something about her is special.”

  Anna agreed. “The whole family’s that way. We need more of them.”

  “I can tell you that a few of the people in my group, office staff and such, have been overheard making light of Cara. They think it’s all an act, and one of these days her true colors will shine. They think her approach to life is laughable.”

  “And what do you think?”

  “I think Cara and her clan are much happier than the majority of us, so whatever the case, I would never want them to change. Often, things people do not understand, they do not believe. A testament to lack of understanding, not to lack of existence.”

  Carolyn nodded. “I think they’re a group of young people with their roots running so deep in their family they have the freedom to be who and what they are and know they will be accepted and loved. Look at Sinead. Her Howard is all tattooed and bearded, and although the O’Flynns come across as very conservative in their old-fashioned beliefs, they welcomed him with open arms. Simply because he’s the boy their sister chose. It’s been that way with my A.J. and Suzi, as well. It would have been so easy for the O’Flynns to blame my Suze for all of Barry’s sins, but they not only refused to do so, they wouldn’t allow her to blame herself. Even that very first night in the hospital, when Mrs. O’Flynn didn’t know what the outcome would be, she sat in the waiting room with my Suze and told her she loved her and that Cara considered her a sister. She assured her she would always be treated with dignity and respect by the family. Suzi has struggled mightily with the guilt of knowing what her poor decisions brought to Cara’s door. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if the O’Flynns were not there to lift her up?”

  The girls heard Cara and Suzi coming from one direction, and A.J. and Evelyn coming from the other.

  Carolyn allowed herself to be overheard by the kids. “I consider Suzi and A.J. to be blessed to be a part of Cara’s family.”

  Cara smiled. “It goes both ways, you know. I feel pretty blessed to be a part of the Cooper clan.”

  When Carolyn got home, there was a note on her door.

  Carolyn,

  Please come see me.

  Belinda

  It had been such a long day, and it was getting late. Carolyn tried to think of an excuse to ignore the note. She didn’t want to deal with her neighbor’s problems tonight. Not tonight. She knew it was selfish, but it had been such a glorious day. First, all the pampering at the spa, and then a delightful evening with the kids. Adeline’s driver had ferried them around all day, so the girls didn’t feel the least bit guilty about stopping at their favorite little boutique bar after leaving the kids.

  The bar focused on grown people—as Anna liked to say—with very high-quality musicians playing everything from swing music to ballads. You could have a good drink, hear each other during a conversation, and dance if you so desired.

  Carolyn took a deep breath. Might as well get it over with. She might actually get to sleep in in the morning.

  She walked over to her neighbors’ and knocked lightly. If Belinda didn’t hear the knock, Carolyn could go to bed guilt-free.

  Belinda opened the door almost immediately. “Oh, hi. Thanks for coming over.”

  “What can I do for you? It’s kind of late.” Carolyn didn’t try for subtlety.

  “I know. I just figured you would want this. I was down in the laundry. I love that this place has a laundry room with the really big washers and dryers. We have a nice set here in the condo, but the big ones are good for comforters and stuff like that, and I really want to get everything clean before Grandma and Grandpa get back. They’re probably going to be here by the end of the week. Anyway, that’s where I was coming from when I saw her.”

  “Saw who?”

  “Emmy.”

  “You saw Emmy?”

  “Yep. I talked to her.”

  “You didn’t say anything about me, did you?”

  “Of course not. I asked her for her phone number. I told her my Grandma and Grandpa were getting to be more than I can deal with on top of all the cleaning and stuff, and if she can fit us in, just a couple of hours every couple of weeks, it would be a big help.”

  “Did you get her number?”

  “Yeah. And I intend to use it, but I figured something was going on with you and her, and I thought I’d let you know that I talked to her and everything seems fine.”

  “May I have the phone number?”

  “Sure. She said it’s a new one. She had her mom on her plan, and it got all screwed up. She said her mom lost all the phones she gave her. Not sure what’s up with that, but I didn’t ask either. She seemed upset. Anyway, she’s trying to reconnect with all her old clients.”

  Belinda walked away without inviting Carolyn in.

  Carolyn stood outside the door feeling both awkward and a little bit vulnerable. She wondered if she should just enter the condo or stay put. Within moments, Belinda was back with a scrap of paper with Emmy’s phone number scribbled on it. A little scrap of paper that held the key to finding Emmy and Zelma.

  “Thank you, Belinda. This is a great help to me.”

  “Nowhere near the help you and Anna have been to me. I hope it all works out.”

  Carolyn couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned and brought back old memories she’d prefer to keep distant.

  By six, she was out of bed and fixing breakfast. As a schoolteacher, she understood the importance of the first meal of the day and always prepared a handsome feast for her family. It was a
habit she’d never chosen to break.

  She made herself a large crepe and slathered on more butter than was advisable. She put a healthy—or perhaps unhealthy—dose of cinnamon sugar on that. She had a hot cup of tea at the ready with a bowl of fresh fruit to the side.

  Carolyn was well aware fixing such a large breakfast for one person was little more than theater to keep her mind occupied until it was a decent hour so she could respectably make a phone call. She hadn’t yet been able to decide if she would call Anna or Emmy first.

  She knew that Anna was the logical choice. Her friend had always been supportive and a voice of reason.

  But Anna would probably try to talk her out of making a call to arrange to meet with Emmy—and hopefully Zelma—and Carolyn was determined to make the call.

  The little clock she and Coop had purchased on their honeymoon chimed. Carolyn smiled. That clock was such a significant part of their lives. It had to be set by hand every time the power went out. Covered with beautiful glass that would open at the push of a hidden button to allow you to correct the time. You did so with your fingers. Round and round, you maneuvered the minute hand until you had achieved the correct hour. Life had changed so much since those days. Now clocks set themselves, and everything had a much more disposable feel.

  But hadn’t she disposed of her friendship with Zelma the moment it became a burden?

  She took a deep breath and dialed.

  Not thinking to mask her phone number before she dialed. Not thinking about the problem it would create when Emmy saw that the call was hers.

  She’d started the relationship in the position of lesser.

  She hadn’t thought about it.

  “Mrs. Cooper.” It sounded more like a statement than a question. Like Emmy had expected the call. “I’m surprised you called me.” But she didn’t sound the least bit surprised.

  “Emmy, may I call you that?”

  “It’s my name.” Her voice had an edge that put Carolyn on alert.

  “I was hoping we could talk. Maybe get together for a cup of tea.”

  “Why would I want to do that?”

  Suddenly, Carolyn had found herself. She had no intention of playing this—or any other—game.

  “I thought perhaps the notes you’ve left under my door were an indication you’re interested in talking. You reached out to me. I thought you wanted me to respond.”

  “I reached out to you? You thought I would want you to respond?” Her laugh was harsh.

  Maybe Anna had been correct.

  Maybe there were mental health issues Carolyn was unqualified to deal with. There was a chance she’d just opened a can of worms best left alone.

  “If I have overstepped, I’m sorry. I was once very close to your mother and your uncle. I thought—mistakenly—you were reaching out. Please forgive the call.”

  “That’s it? You’re just going to hang up and go on with your life like nothing happened? Sounds like you. When things are the tiniest bit uncomfortable, you walk away. That’s what you did to my uncle. That’s what you did to my mom. Why wouldn’t you do it to me?”

  “Emmy, I’m not sure what it is you want from me.”

  “I don’t want anything from you.”

  “Then why did you leave the notes?”

  “I just wanted you to remember. So that I’m not the only one.”

  Carolyn felt as if she’d managed to put a small crack in Emmy’s armor, but having accomplished her first task, she had no idea how to proceed. Anna had been right. This was a situation far afield of Carolyn’s strengths, and she was already at a loss.

  “Emmy, would you like to meet me somewhere? We could talk about whatever is bothering you.”

  “Whatever is bothering me?” she hissed. “My mom is dead. You killed her. You and my uncle. You want to talk about that? How you killed all that was left of my family? Okay. Let’s talk.”

  Carolyn’s head was spinning. She sat down in the chair nearest her, no longer needing to pace away the anxiety of making the call. Now she needed something to keep her stable.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Now you’re sorry? What good is it now?”

  “Emmy, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t killed anyone. When your uncle died, I hadn’t seen him in years. Decades. I hadn’t seen your mother in as long.”

  “I know.”

  “Then how is it that I was involved in the death of either one?” Carolyn knew she shouldn’t be speaking to this woman. She’d made a grievous error in not listening to the advice of her friends. She’d made the error worse by placing a call to an unknown person that had acted irrationally before Carolyn even knew of her existence. Now, she had agitated the situation and most probably amplified the complexity of the issue and had no tools with which to address her predicament. She couldn’t hang up and pretend it never happened, but she didn’t know how to guide Emmy to a better path.

  “You know what you did. You were at Seddon Station.” The timbre of her voice changed so dramatically it was frightening.

  “Seddon Station? What has this to do with Seddon Station?”

  “Think about it. There were four people at Seddon Station. Four. You’re the only one still alive. You’re the only one that had a good life. You live in a beautiful place. You have elegant friends. You’ve probably never had a hard day in your whole life. What about my mother? She never was right after that meeting you had. She blamed herself. She’s the one that set up the whole thing. When her brother got off that train with his new wife, you were there, and it ruined everything. Everything.”

  Carolyn commanded herself to be calm. “We didn’t know he was bringing her. We didn’t have cell phones back then, Emmy. Things happened back then that would be avoidable today.”

  “Do you know what he did? My uncle? He blamed my mom. He never let her free of it. He tormented her. Every time something went wrong in his life, he blamed it on losing you, and he blamed losing you on my mom. Every time his wife walked out. Every time one of his kids had problems.” Emmy sucked in air. Her voice changed again. “They kept track of you, you know. They knew when you moved into that big house. They knew when you went back to work. They knew when you had good days and bad. Did you know that?”

  “I thought your uncle moved away. I thought that your mother had no interest in me.”

  Emmy exploded in anger. “Don’t you blame this on my mother. It wasn’t her fault. You were too good for her. You let her know that, and it about broke her. It did break her. Did you know when my uncle ended up in that crazy place, my grandparents blamed my mom? My grandfather beat her. He beat her bad. She had nowhere to go, and it just kept getting worse. So she married bastard number one. He beat her worse than Grandpa. That’s how she ended up with bastard number two. He was a drinker and a womanizer, and he humiliated her. Everybody in town knew he was out cattin’ around, and they made my mom’s life miserable. Especially those church ladies with their self-righteous ways.”

  Carolyn spoke quietly. “I had no idea.”

  “Of course you didn’t. When you didn’t get your way, you just up and left my mom behind. Never gave her another thought.”

  “That’s not true, Emmy. I tried to do what little I could.”

  “Well, it was too little, and it was too late.”

  “Emmy, I don’t know what you were told…”

  “Don’t you call my mother a liar. My grandparents did all the time. My mom had proof. She had the scars.”

  “I’m not calling your mother a liar. I would never do that. As you pointed out, I wasn’t there. Emmy, please, can we meet somewhere? Perhaps tomorrow? Maybe together we can get this straightened out.”

  “What’s there to straighten out? They’re all gone. My grandparents passed a long time ago. Grandma suffered. For years. Cancer got her. The doctor said all the stress from the problems you created killed her. All those admissions to different mental facilities for my uncle. Every one of them about killed her. The worr
y. The shame. After she died, my grandpa drank hisself to death. Stayed drunk for almost eight years. He was a mean drunk. They found him in his truck in a ditch. Dead for days. They said he’d got drunk and ran hisself off the road, but I think he died of a broken heart. Everybody was all messed up, and he couldn’t fix any of it.”

  “I’m sorry to hear…”

  “Yeah. I bet you are. Ugliness coming in on your perfect world. Well, ya know what? I’ve never known perfect. Not one lousy day in my whole lousy life. I clean other people’s toilets so I can have one of my own. And I tried. I tried real hard to take care of my mom. But I gotta work, and she’d take off. Always lookin’. For my brother. For my uncle. She just wanted to set things right.”

  Carolyn couldn’t say anything comforting, so she said nothing at all.

  Emmy continued to rant. “I got nothin’ and nobody, and it’s all ’cause you couldn’t do somethin’ as simple as be a friend to my uncle and my mom. What did she ask of you? To talk to somebody. How hard is that? Now you aren’t even talking to me. You know what, lady? I’ll see you in hell.”

  Carolyn braced herself for the slamming of the phone, but there was only silence. Today, you just push a button to disconnect. The silence is so much worse.

  Carolyn sat. Astonished. Confused. Not sure what her next step should be. If she told the girls, they would surely overreact. Emmy might be upset, but she hadn’t overtly threatened her. Not really.

  She didn’t want to get the girl in trouble, and alerting building security would certainly do that.

  She didn’t want to alarm A.J. or Suzi, so she couldn’t turn to them.

  She could wait it out, but then if something were to happen, what could she do to protect herself? Worse still, what if little Evelyn were to be visiting when Emmy decided to exact some twisted revenge?

  She had to deal with it, and she had to get help to do so.

  Anna was probably her best resource.

  Carolyn took the time to have a cup of tea and calm herself. She needed to walk a very thin line. She wanted Anna to understand there was a bit of risk, but not to be so concerned she would call out the troops. If that were to happen, Carolyn would be a prisoner in her own home while they waited for Emmy to do something. Something that could destroy her future. Could destroy them both.