To the Doctor: A Daughter

by Marion Lennox

  And her beam had him fascinated. She sort of lit up from within.

  But there were important issues to concentrate on here. Like winning Scrabble. A man had his pride after all. ‘And it’s exactly because it’s a hundred-and-four-point word that I won’t allow it.’

  ‘No?’

  ‘No!’

  Gemma let herself look woebegone-cocker-spaniel style. ‘Not even because you feel sorry for me?’

  ‘Don’t you do the sympathy thing on me. Nothing gets in the way of me and winning a game of Scrabble.’

  ‘Not even brute force?’ Laughing, she raised a cushion-and Nate cowered in mock fear.

  But then the phone rang. Damn. For some reason it really irritated him, and it wasn’t just that he was still in the lead. Reluctantly he rose to answer it while Gemma calmly put down her letters. Flowery… She grinned and added a hundred and four points to her score, which meant she was winning by a mile, but she was listening to what Nate was saying all the while.

  And his voice was suddenly serious. ‘Right, bring her straight in.’

  ‘Trouble?’ she asked as he replaced the receiver. From where she sat he looked big and competent and…nice, she thought. Though it wasn’t nice in the sense that Fiona would have thought nice. Fiona would have only seen his body, which was certainly nice enough. Or maybe that was an understatement. But the rest of him-the Nate inside-was pretty darned nice, too.

  ‘I need to go.’

  Why did her heart lurch a little? It had been a long time since she’d felt like this, she thought. Warm, contented and full of delicious laughter. He warmed her from the toes up and she hated the thought that her time with him was over. For now.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘An asthmatic. Milly Jefferson. She’s five years old and tight as hell. We play a balancing act keeping her at home.’

  ‘Let me help.’

  ‘You don’t need to.’

  ‘I want to.’ She smiled at him with that smile he was only just getting to know. And like. ‘I’m on call tonight and we agreed I’d take over medically while you looked after your baby.’

  ‘But my baby’s asleep.’ There. He’d said it. My baby. Just like that.

  ‘Then let’s go and play doctors,’ she said serenely. She pulled herself to her feet and stood waiting. ‘Together.’

  They did more than play doctors. Their medicine was needed in earnest.

  As Nate had said, Milly was as tight as hell. Her parents rushed her into Casualty, their faces desperate with fear.

  For good reason. She’d gone past the point where bronchodilators were effective. She’d gone past the point where salbutamol administration was even possible. She lay limp and unresponsive in her father’s arms and Gemma took one look and thought, We’ve lost her.

  But Nate was taking her from her parents, laying her on the examination couch and putting the oxygen mask on her face almost in one fluid movement.

  Maybe it was too late for the oxygen mask. His fingers were on her pulse. The little girl’s chest was still-the fight for breath seemed over.

  ‘I need to intubate…’

  Gemma was before him. The nurse on duty hadn’t arrived yet-she must have been caught up elsewhere in the hospital-but Gemma had been in the emergency department before when she’d brought Cady in. She knew what was required and where to find it. By the time Nate had checked the child’s airway the crash cart was by his side and an intubation tube was being placed in his hand.

  There was no time for muscle relaxants-and no need. The child was past the point of fighting.

  Nate lifted the tube. Then, on the point of intubation, he paused and motioned to Gemma. ‘You.’

  She got it in one. She was the anaesthetist. Intubating a child was tricky. Nate might well be able to do this-in fact, he had probably done it many times over his years as a country doctor-but if there was a skilled anaesthetist on hand then why not use her?

  So he backed off and prepared an adrenalin injection while Gemma swiftly, expertly slid the tube down the child’s throat.

  Milly didn’t even gag. That was how far she’d gone.

  Her mother held her face in her hands, sobbing blindly. She was buckling at the knees and her husband moved to support her.

  But the adrenalin injection slid home and the child’s chest heaved in one last convulsive attempt to get air.

  Gemma had the bag in place, breathing for her. And the child suddenly found the strength to fight for herself.

  Wonderful. The tube was in place. The bag could work, the oxygen could flow and the child could breathe.

  She was still that awful colour, though.

  ‘I need muscle relaxant,’ Gemma ordered, switching back into doctor mode as if she’d never paused. ‘And a sedative. As soon as she recovers she’ll fight the tube.’

  She looked at Nate. Silently he placed what she needed in her hands and watched as she located a vein in the little girl’s hand.

  Intravenous drips in children were notoriously difficult but Gemma didn’t hesitate. She inserted the drip with no more difficulty than Nate would have experienced had it had been an adult.

  ‘Great.’

  And with the drip set up and the child’s breathing being supported, they had time to take stock. And breathe themselves.

  ‘She’ll make it,’ Nate said, and his voice was a trace unsteady. He’d been as scared as she was, Gemma thought, watching him, and then she thought, He cares about his patients. He’s not just a womaniser. He’s a really fine country practitioner.

  And he’d just proved that he wasn’t a walking ego either. He’d handed over the intubation to her because he believed her skills were greater than his. It had been a huge vote of confidence in a doctor he didn’t know.

  ‘I knew you’d be good,’ he said in an undertone, and Gemma felt the colour rise in her face. Compliments like that didn’t come her way every day of the week-compliments from the heart.

  ‘Intubation and drips are what I do.’

  ‘You’re great.’

  ‘Yeah? As an anaesthetist maybe, but as a country doctor? You say that after I fail to diagnose a case of chicken-pox. This is the first time you’ve seen me work and it’s just lucky it was something I’m skilled at.’

  ‘Lucky for Milly…’

  ‘Mmm.’

  They stood looking down at the little girl. She was still battling to breathe and she’d need to stay intubated until they were sure her condition was stabilised. Even then there’d be many more of these episodes in her life, Gemma knew-and then she let herself think about Cady. At least diabetes wasn’t life-threatening. At least she knew where she was with Cady.

  ‘He’ll be fine, too,’ Nate said softly, and Gemma raised her head in startled enquiry. What was it with this man? She hated that he could read her mind.

  She was a private person. She’d learned the hard way to keep herself to herself and this man’s ability to get past the surface had her thoroughly unnerved.

  Work. Think about work. Hadn’t that always been the best defence? ‘We’d best take her though to Children’s Ward. Or do you want to keep her in Intensive Care?’

  ‘I have Tom Saunders in Intensive Care with angina so I think we’ll take her through to kids’ ward. I’ll ring for an additional night nurse so we can do one on one while the tube’s in.’ He looked down at the little girl on the bed and frowned, and his frown wasn’t just as a result of complications of the night. He was looking into the future of a child whose condition was increasingly life-threatening. ‘This is the fourth acute episode this year. And if we hadn’t been close…’

  ‘But you were.’

  ‘I could have been out.’

  ‘And I would have coped.’

  He looked at her and he seemed dazed. Like he couldn’t quite believe she was real. ‘I guess you would have. There are three doctors in this place now. Not two. It’s going to take some getting used to.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘If yo
u stay on…we could do enough surgery to keep you in training, but would you miss doing anaesthetics full time?’

  She thought about it.

  ‘Not while there’s drama like tonight.’ The sedative was starting to take effect now and the child’s breathing was becoming relaxed, deeper and more even. She thought, We’ve just saved her life. It was a good feeling. A great feeling!

  As long as they could keep her alive.

  ‘What sort of long-term therapies are you trying?’ she asked, and Nate shook his head.

  ‘She’s on steroids and bronchodilators as a matter of course. I daren’t increase the dosage.’

  It was a hard call, Gemma knew. Long-term steroid use had its problems, a major one at this age being that it tended to stunt growth. Milly’s parents weren’t exactly huge. She’d need every inch of growth she could get.

  So move sideways.

  ‘Can Milly swim?’

  That caught their attention and suddenly Gemma had them all staring at her. Milly’s parents seemed like farmers. They were still dressed for the nightly milking, in stained jeans and work shirts. Their faces were haggard with shock and they held onto each other like they were drowning.

  ‘I… Swim?’ Her father was a gruff voiced man in his forties. ‘No. Why should she swim? She’s only five.’

  ‘It’d be the best thing for her.’ She smiled at all of them, Nate included, trying to lessen the tension. ‘Exercise builds lung capacity-and swimming’s the best form of exercise asthmatics can do.’

  ‘But…she’s only five years old.’

  ‘I can teach her.’

  ‘You…’ Nate sounded stunned.

  ‘You have an indoor swimming pool,’ she said serenely. ‘I checked it out this morning when I was exploring and it’s wonderful. And I thought what a waste-a swimming pool that’s hardly used.’

  ‘I use it.’

  ‘And I imagine Graham does, too. Which means it gets-what? An hour’s use a day?’

  ‘Sometimes less,’ he conceded, and she grinned.

  ‘Well… That means we have twenty-three hours of available pool time, and me a trained swimming teacher and lifeguard.’ She twinkled up at him. ‘Teaching swimming was the way I paid my way through university.’

  ‘I see.’ But he didn’t.

  ‘If I’m here for two weeks I could get Milly started. If we give her a few days to get over the worst of this episode I could give her a week’s intensive lessons. I bet I could get her swimming before I leave.’ If she left. She was starting to think… Maybe. Maybe this could work.

  ‘You’d really do that?’

  ‘I would.’ Gemma’s eyes met Nate’s, direct and slightly challenging. ‘The community here is providing the hospital that takes care of Cady and I intend to put as much into the community as I take out.’

  ‘You’ll teach our Milly to swim?’ Milly’s mother was breathless, clearly finding it hard to take herself away from the drama of the last few minutes and project herself into an unknown future. But she must. A future was what she desperately needed to believe in.

  ‘If it’s OK with Dr Ethan.’

  ‘It’s more than OK,’ Nate declared. ‘It’s fantastic.’

  ‘Then we have a plan.’ Gemma smiled happily at Milly’s parents and then she looked back at Nate. ‘I’ll take Milly through to kids’ ward and stay with her until I’m sure she’s stable. You ring for the extra nurse and then go back through to the house.’

  ‘But-’

  ‘Your daughter’s home alone.’

  Home alone. His daughter. Right. He’d forgotten.

  From where they stood they’d hear her yell if she woke, he thought, but Gemma was right. His responsibility was to his daughter.

  And Gemma’s was to Milly.

  The thought was so novel he was having trouble taking it in. But Gemma was calmly watching, waiting for him to go-so she could take over his responsibilities.

  ‘I’ll go, then.’

  ‘You do that, Dr Ethan,’ Gemma said calmly. ‘I’ll contact you if you’re needed.’

  It seemed that he’d been dismissed.

  CHAPTER SIX

  IT WAS two hours before Gemma felt confident enough of Milly to leave. Then Cady woke and she had to explain why there was a little girl in the next bed. There were introductions all round-Milly was so sedated that she wasn’t aware of what was happening, but her parents were there and they’d lost enough of their terror to find some interest in another child.

  Cady was bright-eyed and fascinated. He seemed to be improving by the minute and it took Gemma a while to get him back to sleep. Finally she was able to leave, with Milly’s parents and the charge nurse maintaining watch.

  She was so looking forward to bed, but as she walked through the connecting door into the darkened house beyond, she glanced into the sitting room. And there was Nate sitting in front of their Scrabble fire.

  She hesitated. They’d had fun, she thought, and the lingering traces of their evening together still made her smile. So she stopped. There was one part of her that was screaming, Go right to bed. Do not pause. But the biggest part of her wanted to share the moment. Make him look at her rather than at the dying embers of the fire.

  ‘Still pondering the rights and wrongs of “flowery”?’

  He looked up and he smiled and she thought, Yep, I know why I stopped. For that smile, well, any girl would pause.

  ‘I know the wrongs of “flowery”,’ he told her darkly, and she chuckled.

  ‘You’re a sore loser.’

  ‘Right.’ He pushed himself to his feet and tilted the Scrabble board so that the letters landed in a scrambled heap. ‘OK. I concede that I’ve lost. Rematch tomorrow. Meanwhile how goes it?’

  ‘She’s good. As good as she can be for the attack she’s had. She’ll make it.’

  ‘This time.’

  ‘I’ll teach her to swim. Starting as soon as she’s over this scare. It’s amazing how much difference it can make.’

  It’s amazing how much difference it can make. Nate thought that through. He knew what was making the difference. One slip of a girl. More and more the thought of her staying on seemed a really exciting prospect.

  Medically exciting, he told himself. Hell, with her skills and expertise the possibilities were endless. She had to stay for more than two weeks. He had to persuade her.

  But meanwhile she was watching him from the doorway, her head tilted slightly to one side in a look he was starting to know. And he knew suddenly that he wanted to detain her. Stretch out this moment-somehow. ‘Can I make us some tea?’

  ‘Nope. I need my bed.’

  Nate was aware of a stab of disappointment. ‘You don’t want a rematch right now?’

  ‘At one in the morning? No, thank you very much.’

  But it wasn’t just the time she was worried about, he thought. Her eyes were wary. She was holding herself apart.

  ‘Hey, there’s no need to look like that. I’m not going to jump you.’

  ‘I never thought you would.’

  But something was definitely bothering her. ‘You know, I didn’t jump your sister.’

  Gemma sighed. ‘I didn’t think that either. I’m sure Fiona made the running. But…’

  ‘But?’

  ‘You did take her to bed. As I’m sure you’ve been taking Donna to bed-and I’m sure you’ve taken other women.’

  He frowned. ‘You think I should be saving myself?’

  ‘No.’ Her voice became suddenly clipped and hard. ‘Of course I don’t. I’m just saying that for you loving’s easy.’

  ‘And it’s not for you?’

  ‘No, Dr Ethan, it’s not.’ There was no mistaking her anger now and he felt a mounting anger in return. Who was she to judge him? What did she know of his love life?

  And what did he know of hers? ‘So Cady’s all the family you ever intend to have?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘What’s that got to do with me? Why does it make you
angry?’

  She stared at him and her eyes were suddenly baffled. What did it have to do with him? Nothing, she thought. Nothing at all. And why had she lashed out at him? And why was she even talking about where she wanted to go in life?

  It was all too much. She was too tired to think this through. ‘I’m going to bed.’

  ‘Don’t let me stop you.’

  ‘Fine.’ She glared but her glare didn’t quite work.

  ‘Gemma…’ She’d walked part way into the room but was backing out now and she looked… For heaven’s sake, she looked as if she was afraid of him. ‘Don’t…’

  ‘Don’t what?’

  ‘Don’t act as if I’m an ogre.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘So if I walk towards you, you won’t back away.’

  ‘Of course not.’ But as he stepped toward her it took a huge effort to keep her feet still. Her brain was screaming ‘Run’.

  Her brain was stupid. Nate was no threat. Of course he was no threat.

  He was close now-too close for comfort. So close that her heart was hammering in her chest like she’d just run a three-minute mile. Which was really, really stupid.

  ‘Gemma…’

  ‘What?’ Why did she sound breathless?

  ‘I told you. You don’t have to be afraid of me.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  Nate lifted his hand and traced the fine line from the corner of her eye down to the side of her mouth. It was a feather touch. A touch of reassurance. Nothing more.

  So why did it send a tremor right through her?

  ‘Um… I need to go to bed.’

  ‘Of course you do.’ But he made no move to leave, and neither did she. He was right there. His chest was almost touching her breast. Behind them the last of the fire crackled and hissed, and it was crazily, wonderfully intimate. Crazy…

  ‘Please…’

  She wasn’t sure what she was asking for. She was no longer sure she even knew what she was doing. All she knew was that he was right there by her, that he was big and warm and…and Nate.