Confessions of a Carpool Captive

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  “He said what?” Gloria asks. “And you didn’t get that?”

  “Get what?” I ask, toying with my napkin. My knee is bobbing up and down nervously. I need her to confirm it.

  “Liz! The man wants you. He wants to be with you. He wants to date you and probably sex you up all night long!”

  Biting my lip, I laugh. “You think so too?”

  “Oh phew. I’m glad you understood that. I was seriously starting to question your intelligence.”

  I hear a throat clear and I turn to see Mr. Foreman in the doorway. “Liz, could I see you in my office?”

  I nod my head and push up from my seat. Gloria smiles confidently. I wish I knew what this was about. He was pulling people randomly all last week and asking to speak to them. I thought I was off the hook. Maybe I did something and I’m in trouble.

  I amble to his office. “Close the door,” he says, motioning. His glasses are hanging off the tip of his nose. His face is stern.

  “I’m so sorry, Mr. Foreman. I didn’t mean to screw up. It won’t happen again.”

  “Huh?” he questions. “Liz, you didn’t do anything wrong. Please, have a seat.”

  Nodding nervously, I sit in front of him and cross my ankles under my chair.

  “I’m not sure if you heard the news or not. It’s been pretty hush-hush around here, but I’ve been promoted to VP of accounting.”

  “You have?” I smile genuinely. He’s a great guy and I couldn’t be happier for him. “That’s wonderful news. Congratulations, although I’ll be sad to see you go. I guess we won’t be seeing each other anymore.”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve seen a real change in you lately. There’s a spring in your step and your work reflects it. I’m not going to lie to you Liz, up until a few weeks ago, I almost forgot you even worked here. You’ve been a quiet little wallflower. Then all of a sudden I hear you laughing at your desk. You’re smiling while you do your work, and your quality of work has greatly improved. If I had to guess, I’d say you started to change right before the Christmas party.”

  He stands and moves around the front of his desk, sitting on the edge, facing me.

  “My boss was really impressed with your work and with you in general. You have a real flare for reading between the lines and predicting spending trends. And on top of that, it seems you’re highly respected in this office. Several people have told me they feel comfortable around you. I was just speaking to Gloria the other day and she raved about how easy you are to talk to. She said she confided in you and not only did you put her at ease, but you also helped her solve the problem. Do you know what I’m referring to?”

  Anal sex comes to mind and my cheeks flush. I nod.

  “Liz, based on what I’ve seen with both the quality of your work, your enthusiasm, and the commanding presence you have in the office, I’d like to recommend you as my replacement.”

  “What?” I ask, leaning forward. “Did I hear you correctly?” I ask.

  He chuckles. “How would you feel about fifteen grand more per year?”

  I gasp and fly out of my seat.

  He smiles and crosses his arms. “You can expect your workload to increase significantly and you’ll have to take some management training, but I think you’d be an excellent addition to our team. My boss approves wholeheartedly. We just need to know if you’re on board. What do you say?”

  My heart is pounding in my chest. “This is more than I ever dreamed! I’d be honored to try to fill your shoes, Mr. Foreman. That won’t be easy, but I know with your guidance and encouragement, I can do anything. No one loves numbers more than me.”

  He holds out his hand. “Fantastic news! Welcome aboard!”

  I nod excitedly. I need to tell Finn. I can’t wait to tell him what happened. Opening the office door, I realize just how important he’s become in my life.

  “Oh, and Liz…” Mr. Foreman says. “Clear your schedule next weekend. There’s a company management training I’d like to send you to. Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?”

  The elevator is moving at a snail’s pace. I’m texting him and he’s not responding. I’ve never been on his floor, but I just have to see him. Gloria wasn’t at her desk, and if I don’t tell someone soon, I think I’ll burst.

  As soon as I step out onto his floor, I instantly regret it. What am I thinking? Things are really weird between us. I don’t know what to say to him about earlier. What if all he wants is early gas money?

  I spin on my heel and press the down button.

  “Hi, can I help you?” A young female approaches me from behind. She looks like she’s still in high school.

  “No, I was just leaving.”

  “Umm, you just got off the elevator. I saw you.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yes you did.”

  “No, I didn’t… listen,” I sigh. “I was coming up here to talk to a friend and I remembered he’s in a meeting, so I’ll just come back later.”

  I press down again.

  “Who’s your friend?” she asks.

  “Umm... Kel Williams.” Ugh. Why did I use his name?

  “Kelly Williams isn’t on this floor. Nice try.”

  “No, not Kelly Williams. Kel Williams. He’s a he.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Kelly Williams is a guy. He works in receiving. Now who are you really looking for?” she asks, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

  Kelly? Kel is short for Kelly? Oh my God! I just hit the jackpot. I smile to myself as little miss impatient continues to huff and puff her frustration. Oh, the power of truth. Kel just became my bitch.

  “Liz?” a familiar voice breaks me out of my blackmail dreams of grandeur.

  “Hi, Mr. Walsh,” the youngin’ says all dreamily. I roll my eyes. “I was trying to help her. Can I help you? With anything? Anything at all?”

  Finn straightens his tie and switches some files from one hand to the other. “No thank you, Christine. I’ve got her now.”

  She smiles brightly and turns the corner into her cubicle, peeking around the edge to stare. I don’t blame her. He seems to have that effect on everyone he meets.

  “Hey, what brings you up to my neck of the woods?” he asks.

  “I umm… well I wanted to tell you something, but it can wait. It’s not really that important and I shouldn’t have come up here. I’m not sure why I did, but now that I’m here, I think I should go because things are weird and I feel weird and you make me nervous and I shouldn’t be nervous but I am, so... Bye.” I wave and press down again.

  He huffs in amusement. “Ms. Foley, would you please step into my office for a moment?” He motions toward the back of the room.

  “I really need to get back downstairs,” I stammer.

  “It’ll only take a minute.” He strengthens his insistent stance and I can’t refuse, mostly because I have nowhere to run. As we trudge to his office, I glance back longingly as the elevator doors finally open.

  “Please come in.” Damn. He has a nice office.

  I take a step inside. My eyes fixate on the shelves behind his desk. He has a lot of books. He draws the shades on the windows and I turn nervously as he locks his door.

  “Why’d you do that?” I question.

  “Lock the door?” he asks, stepping toward me.

  I nod.

  “I didn’t want to be interrupted. I want to hear what it is you have to say to me.”

  My mouth drops as he takes another step toward me.

  “Did you have something to say to me?” he asks.

  I swallow hard and shake my head. He’s cocky and powerful right now. It’s a heady combination.

  “Have I told you lately just how beautiful you are?”

  I shake my head nervously.

  “I should tell you more often. I think I need to tell you how I feel all the time, don’t you agree?” he asks as he closes the gap between us.

  “Finn, I—”

  “I’m glad you’re here.
I didn’t get a chance to answer your question this morning.”

  Why is he so confident? Why does he walk and talk sex? Why didn’t I notice it before? Why does he make my knees weak? Did I ask him a question? Why can’t I think around him?

  He takes a final step toward me and I take a step back into his desk. There’s nowhere else to go but here.

  “You asked me what I wanted from you.”

  I nod my head as his suit jacket brushes up against my blouse. He takes my chin in his fingers. God, his eyes are blue. He’s an endless sky that I could get lost in.

  “What I want, Liz, is to convince you with my words and my lips to be with me. Let me in. Let me be what you need.”

  “You’d have to use your lips to use words. That’s redundant,” I manage to stammer.

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. They’re dark and full of heat. “I wasn’t planning on using them to speak.”

  I stare up into his eyes. He’s returning the intensity I feel. Could he want me as much as I want him? Something comes over me and I pull him into a kiss.

  He moans lightly and places his hand on the back of my neck, holding me in place on his mouth. My body weakens as his tongue slides against mine. I lean back and onto his desk, sliding on top of it. He lays me down and presses himself into me. I lift my leg and my skirt jacks up to my waist. His hand slides from my calf to my upper thigh as he kisses me. I want him.

  I grab his tie in my hands and pull him farther into me. I hear papers crunching beneath us, but it doesn’t stop us or slow us down.

  “Touch me,” I whisper.

  “Oh fuck yes,” he mumbles as his hand slides up my skirt to cup my ass.

  There’s a knock on the door. “Mr. Walsh? Your one o’clock is waiting in the conference room.”

  I gasp.

  His hand is on my ass and his lips are still pressed to mine. “I’ll be right there.”

  I push on his chest, causing him to rise and release me.

  “Holy shit! What was I thinking?” I mumble, shoving past him and straightening my skirt.

  He turns around and pulls me to him. “You were thinking what I was thinking for once.”

  “Finn, I—”

  He kisses me again and as much as I want to pull away, I can’t do it.

  “I’m glad you came to see me,” he whispers.

  “Me too, but we can’t—”

  “Yes we can,” he interrupts. “Don’t push me away. I’m crazy about you.”

  “You are?” I can’t help but smile.

  He shakes his head. “For someone who’s fantastic at reading numbers, you sure can’t read men, can you?”

  “No. I suck at men,” I respond.

  “Come to dinner with me tonight?” he asks. “Let me date you.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of friends, Finn. I don’t want to ruin this between us. As hot as you are, I’m just not sure it’s a good idea.”

  “You think I’m hot?” he asks with a smirk.

  “Oh brother.”

  “What makes you think dating me will ruin what we have? Maybe it will make us even better.”

  I shrug as I wipe a lipstick smear from his face.

  “Is that why you came here? To tell me you just want to be my friend?” he asks, tucking in his shirt.

  I stare at his torso a little too long. I lift my eyes and he’s grinning from ear to ear. “You don’t need to answer that.”

  “I came up here because I was excited. My boss offered me a promotion.”

  “What? That’s fantastic! Now you definitely need to let me take you to dinner.”

  “Don’t you have an appointment?”

  “Yes, I guess I do. I forgot all about it the moment I saw you. But so you know, I’m not letting this go.”

  He walks me to the elevator and doubts and fears flood my brain. I thought this was what I wanted, but do I? What if I mess this up and lose him as a friend? I mess everything up. I always choose the wrong guys. There must be something wrong with him. Or maybe there’s something wrong with me. Why can’t I let him in?

  I know why. Because deep down inside, I know he’s too good to be true. He winks at me as the doors close. Our kiss still lingers on my lips. There has to be a catch. There’s always a catch, especially in my world.

  I manage to fend off dinner offers all week long, but he doesn’t give up. I claim project overload, exhaustion, laundry— you name it. By New Year’s Eve morning, he’s a bit frustrated with me.

  “What are you doing tonight?” Kel asks Emerson on our way to work.

  “Nothing. My wife, Julie, went to Sacramento to see her father since we didn’t make it up there for Christmas. I couldn’t deny her that.”

  “Why didn’t you just go with her?” he questions.

  “Does work ring a bell?”

  “Oh, yeah. Although I think they’ll let us out early tonight. Maybe you could catch a late flight.”

  “No. I think next week’s travel is enough for me. I have to say, I’m stoked we’re all going to training together.”

  Kel shushes her, motioning to Ernesto. “He’s not.”

  “How do we know that?” she responds.

  Kel shrugs and turns to gaze out the window. Traffic is moving really well today, probably due to the holiday. I really don’t mind. I’d rather be at work than home alone.

  “What about you, Finn? Any plans for tonight?” Emerson asks, slightly nudging my seat.

  “Some people from my group asked me to meet them at a bar uptown later. If nothing better comes up, I guess I’ll go.”

  He glances over at me and I pretend not to notice. I secretly wonder what people.

  “Like who?” Kel asks, right on cue. Sometimes I’m grateful he’s so nosy.

  “Tyler, Paul, Lana, and Carly,” he responds.

  I snarl when he says Carly’s name. I bet she can’t wait to get her paws on him.

  “That sounds cool. Better than sitting home alone, right, Liz?”

  I nod my head sheepishly.

  “Liz doesn’t have to ever sit home alone, but she’s insanely stubborn,” Finn adds.

  “Hey, I have a great idea!” Kel says, leaning forward excitedly. “Why don’t we all go out after work tonight? It’ll be fun and then none of us has to go home to an empty house.”

  “Dude. That’s brilliant!” Emerson adds. “Finn, what do you say?”

  Finn glances over at me. “It’ll only work if we all agree. Liz,” he coughs out my name.

  “Come on, Lizard. What do you say?” Kel asks.

  Turning in my seat, I give him an evil glare. “Did you just call me Lizard?”

  “Yeah, I did. You have a lot in common and the name fits. Liz… Lizard. Get it? Anyway, you have these spikes on the outside that make people afraid to approach you. You’re cold-blooded and prefer to be alone. You don’t move much unless you’re cornered and then you’re ready to attack. There’s something cool about you that draws people in, but also makes them afraid to come too close. So yeah, you’re a lizard.”

  I feel my bottom lip tremble. Is that how they see me? Facing right, I gaze out the window and try not to let my emotions get the best of me.

  “That was rude,” Emerson says, berating him.

  “What? I didn’t mean anything by it. I think lizards are cool.”

  Finn takes my hand in his and I welcome the reassurance it represents. He squeezes it gently and although I don’t dare look at him, I know what he’s telling me with his gentle touch. He’s saying he’s not afraid of my spikes and scales. Little does he realize, they run so deep, I may hurt him whether I want to or not.

  The day flies by. The company provides a lunch on the fifteenth floor. Gloria brings me a sandwich. I’m not in the mood for being social. Finn texts me at four.

  Finn: I’m not asking for me, but a certain group of carpoolers really want to hang with you tonight and I hate to disappoint them. What do you say we all go out to dinner? All of us. That way
you won’t have to be alone with me.

  Liz: You all go ahead. Gloria said she’d give me a ride home.

  It’s a lie, but worst-case scenario, I’ll take a cab to Cliff’s to get my car and use my spare keys.

  Finn: If you don’t go, I don’t go.

  I cringe. If he doesn’t go out with us, that means he’ll go out with Carly. Memories of how cute they were together flood my mind.

  Liz: Fine. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

  He responds with a thumbs-up, which is generally a bit cold for him. Placing my hands over my eyes, I sigh. If I’m not careful, I’m going to push too hard and he’s going to bail. How many times can a man hear “no” before he stops asking?

  “You heading out?” Gloria asks as she rounds the corner of my cubicle.

  “Pretty soon. I don’t think it looks good if the new manager is the first to leave,” I say with a grin.

  “Happy New Year, Liz. And for the record, I’m glad we’re friends.”

  I smile. “Me too.”

  She turns to leave, thinks better of it and turns around. “One more thing. Go out with Finn. Take that man by the collar and never let him go. I’m telling you, my gut tells me he’s one of the good ones.”

  I nod. “We’ll see.”

  As soon as the office lights dim, I pick up my bag and head off to the restroom to freshen up. I apply a bit more eyeliner, giving myself a smoky eye and apply a darker shade of lipstick. I brush out my hair and unbutton the top button of my blouse. It’s about to be a new year and I really don’t want to be a lizard anymore.

  I’m the last to the car. Finn is leaning on my door as I approach, eyes gleaming and his crooked smile welcomes me. He’s changed out of his suit and is wearing jeans and a button-down shirt. I have to remind myself to breathe.

  “Wow. You look gorgeous,” he says as I get closer.

  “You too.” Ugh. I cringe. “I mean, thanks, but I’m wearing what I wore this morning. I don’t know why I look good all of a sudden.”