Star of His Heart

by Brenda Jackson

  “Rachel!”

  His palms bracketed her head, his fingers dug into her scalp and his moan became music to her ears while she proceeded to torture him. She felt his shaft swell deep inside her mouth and she stretched to accommodate its size.

  “I’m coming, baby.”

  And he did.

  She appeased every deep craving she ever had, using her throat to prolong his orgasm. He seemed lost, powerless as he gave himself over to the magic she created. And she reveled in the control as she never had before.

  When he could draw another breath, he pulled a condom pack from his jeans, sheathed himself and entered her. Quick work but thorough.

  He began moving in and out of her, thrusting hard and deep, taking her to the brink where she’d led him moments ago. No matter what would come tomorrow, she knew she would have these memories of their lovemaking. Memories that would comfort her and tear at her heart long after he was no longer a part of her life.

  But for now, for today, he was and because of that, she was satisfied.

  It was time for him to leave.

  After making love on her living room floor, they had returned to the kitchen and eaten the brunch he had prepared before going back up to her bedroom and making love some more. When they were spent, they had showered together, returned downstairs to devour the apple tarts he’d made for dessert, then he’d gone upstairs to gather his few belongings.

  “Do you think the paparazzi have gone now?” she asked, walking him to the kitchen door that led to her garage where his car was parked beside hers.

  “Yes. I spoke with the manager of my condo complex and she apologized profusely. The one thing I was assured of when I moved in was that my privacy would be protected. She doesn’t understand what could have happened.” He paused. “I think I do.”

  She lifted a brow. “What?”

  “My agent. He thinks one of the ways to build my career is for me to stay in the spotlight, to keep my name in the news.”

  He could tell her mind was at work. Making that statement had made her remember her one argument as to why there could never be anything but friendship between them. For that reason, he was not surprised by her next statement.

  “I refuse to think of this weekend as a mistake, Ethan, but it’s something we can’t allow to happen again. You are who you are and I am who I am. We live different lives and reside in basically different worlds.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that way, Rachel.”

  “Yes, it does. I could never ask you to give up your dream for me, like you can’t expect me to do the same for you.”

  He paused for a moment and then asked, “So where do we go from here?”

  A sad smile touched her lips. “Nowhere. Let’s chalk it up as nothing more than a one-night stand. This weekend is our secret. And it’s up to us to know it was just one of those things that can’t happen again.”

  He glanced down as if studying the floor and then he looked back at her. “What if I said I don’t agree? That there has to be a way?”

  A bittersweet smile touched her lips. “Then I’d say don’t waste your time trying to figure one out. It doesn’t exist. We are as different as day and night.”

  Ethan pulled in a deep breath and felt a tightening in his gut because he knew, in a way, she was right. Becoming a successful Hollywood actor was his dream, and it was a dream that didn’t mesh with hers.

  He leaned down and kissed her hard and deep. Only one thought pierced his mind then and again moments later when he walked out her door. How on earth was he going to give her up?

  Chapter 10

  “Quiet on the set!

  “Take three!

  “Action!”

  Rachel could hear the sound of Frasier’s booming voice carrying all the way into her trailer. Today they would be shooting mostly medical scenes, and several doctors from an area hospital were on the set to make sure that aspect of the show was done correctly.

  She had arrived at work early, mainly to have herself together by the time Ethan got there. Like she’d told him yesterday, although she hadn’t regretted any of it, their time together could not be repeated. For twenty-four hours she had let herself go and had made love to a man who had pleasured her body in ways probably not known to most men. All women should be made love to the way Ethan had done to her. Memories of their time together still made her skin hot whenever she thought about it.

  When he had arrived this morning, he had not given her any more of his time and attention than he always had. There was no way anyone seeing them interact together would suspect they’d spent practically the entire weekend behind closed doors. There had been so much red-hot chemistry between them and they had taken advantage of it time and time again.

  Although no one on the set had a clue, each and every time he glanced her way or gave her a smile, heat would begin simmering in the pit of her stomach. One look into Ethan’s eyes had the power to send a rush of desire spiking through her. That was why she was letting Theresa work out on the set today, brushing up the actors during shooting, while she remained in her trailer applying the makeup for those in the next scene.

  “You’re quiet today.”

  Rachel blinked, remembering where she was and what she was doing. There never had been a time when thoughts of a man had interfered with her job. She looked down at Tae’Shawna Miller, the model-turned-actress from last season who played a nurse on the show. Tae’Shawna was known to be moody and self-centered and, not surprisingly, months ago she’d begun hanging around Paige.

  Rachel wasn’t sure what Paige might have told her, but lately Tae’Shawna had been acting even moodier where she was concerned. She’d even gone to John saying Rachel had applied her makeup too heavily last season and that she wanted to bring in her own makeup artist. John had denied her request.

  “It’s Monday,” Rachel said, hoping that would end things. It was a joke on the set that although Wednesday was considered hump day, Monday was pretty low-key with everyone trying to recover from the weekend.

  “I hear you, girl. I could barely pull myself out of bed. If it wasn’t for Ethan calling to wake me up this morning, I probably would have been late coming in today.”

  Trying to keep her hands steady and acting as nonchalant as she could, Rachel continued applying Tae’Shawna’s makeup and asked in a casual tone, “Ethan Chambers?”

  A smile touched the woman’s lips. “None other. We spent some time together this weekend. I’m only mentioning this to you because I know you’re the soul of discretion. Ethan would be upset if he knew I told anyone. He wants to keep things quiet since we’re both working on the show.”

  The woman gave a naughty smile before adding, “Needless to say, I had to all but force him to leave last night.”

  Rachel managed to remain calm as she dissected the woman’s words, hoping what Tae’Shawna was saying was more wishful thinking than gospel truth, especially since Ethan had been with her from Saturday night to late yesterday afternoon.

  But she couldn’t help wondering if he had left her bed and gone directly to Tae’Shawna’s. And where had he been before coming to her place on Saturday night? She’d felt it hadn’t been her place to ask. However, now the woman in her couldn’t help wondering if Ethan had shared his weekend with her and Tae’Shawna.

  That question was still on her mind hours later. For the moment, her trailer was empty and she slid into the chair to take a breather, trying to fight the green-eyed monster of jealousy consuming her. She pulled in a deep breath, wondering why the thought of Ethan being involved with Tae’Shawna bothered her and how she could get beyond it.

  The odds had been high when he’d shown up at her place Saturday night that he would probably spend some of his weekend with another woman. It would have made perfect sense that he did. After all, he was a known playboy around town. It really shouldn’t concern her since they had used protection every time they’d made love, so she wasn’t at risk. But still…

  It d
isappointed her that, on the set, Ethan portrayed himself as a man not giving any of the women who came on to him the time of day. Although he was always friendly to them, she’d had no reason to assume that things had been any different after hours. Was it only an act? Was he involved not only with Tae’Shawna but others as well, possibly even Paige?

  She eased from the chair and began pacing. She told herself she should not be bothered if he was also seeing other women. They hadn’t set any rules or guidelines regarding their relationship. A frown deepened her brow when she reminded herself they didn’t have a relationship. What happened this weekend was just a one-time deal. She had made that clear to Ethan. But why had he bothered to make it seem as if he hadn’t had sex for a while, certainly not that same day? Men!

  She knew when it came to sex, men would get as much of it as came their way and still want more. A part of her couldn’t help feeling somewhat disappointed to discover he was one of those men and wasn’t different at all.

  “Looks like you’re thinking too hard again.”

  She spun around to find the object of her deepest and most disappointing thoughts leaning against the trailer door. She hadn’t heard him enter the trailer.

  “And what’s it to you?” she asked in a tone that sounded pretty snippy to even her own ears.

  He shrugged. “With that attitude, nothing, I guess. Frasier gave everyone an additional hour for lunch again, and I was wondering if you’d like to take a walk over to—”

  “No.” And then because she knew there was no reason for her to have an attitude, she said, “Thanks for asking, but I have a lot to do here.”

  He nodded slowly as he continued to look at her. She wished he wouldn’t do that. And she wished it didn’t bother her, didn’t make her feel those vibes again, especially when he probably looked at Tae’Shawna the same way. Not only Tae’Shawna but all the other women with whom he was probably involved.

  “Is that why you haven’t been out on the set today?”

  “You could say that.”

  Avoiding his gaze, she moved around the trailer, picking up items to repack in her various makeup kits, as well as hanging up items of clothing that cast members had discarded.

  “Is something wrong, Rachel?”

  She glanced over at him. “No. What gives you that idea?” She then returned to what she was doing, basically presenting her back to him.

  Moving away from the door, Ethan strode through the space separating them and came to stand in front of her, forcing her to look up and meet his gaze. “Hey, I knew yesterday you were serious about continuing this ‘friends only’ thing and, although I prefer more between us, I will respect your wishes.”

  “Do you?”

  He had a confused look on his face. “Do I what?” His tone was low, gruff, with more than a hint of agitation.

  “Do you prefer more between us?”

  He released a frustrated sigh. “I told you I did.”

  She nodded slowly. “And what did you tell Tae’Shawna?” The moment the words left her lips, she wished she could take them back. She probably sounded like a jealous shrew. And she had no right to be that way, considering she had told Ethan there would be nothing between them. Ever.

  She stared up at him to see even more confusion settle in his features when he asked, “Is this supposed to be a trick question or something?”

  “Not a trick question, Ethan, just a curious one.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “And what does Tae’Shawna have to do with us?”

  A shiver ran through her when he said the word us. Although when it came to them there was no “us,” just hearing him say it did something crazy to her. “By ‘us,’ you mean you and Tae’Shawna?” she asked.

  A smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes touched his lips. “Was that question supposed to be a joke, Rachel?”

  “What do you think?” She made a move to walk away but he reached out and gripped her arm, not too tight, but enough that the heat of his hand felt like a flame licking her skin. Amazing, she thought. Even when she wasn’t happy with him, he had the ability to make her want him.

  “Explain what you meant by that,” he said. She thought she heard somewhat of a growl in his tone.

  He was staring at her, and she returned his stare with no intention of breaking it. And she had no problem explaining what she’d said as well as elaborating on what she’d meant. “When I worked on Tae’Shawna’s makeup earlier today, she took me into her confidence and shared information about you and her.”

  His expression seemed thoughtful. “Me and her?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what did she say?”

  She shrugged and then said, “Nothing more than that the two of you spent part of the weekend together and that you didn’t leave her place until late last night and that you were her wake-up call this morning. I know you were with me from Saturday night until yesterday afternoon, but—”

  “You’re not sure about the time I wasn’t with you?” he said, finishing her statement for her.

  “Yes, but it really doesn’t matter. Saturday night just happened between us. And it’s not like I didn’t know about your reputation.”

  He nodded as he held her gaze. “My reputation that you know about from a tabloid you don’t read. Right?”

  It was easy to see his expression had gone from thoughtful to rigid, as if he was struggling to contain the anger she could actually feel radiating from him. She was smart enough to take a step back when he took one forward, and she noticed the eyes staring at her had turned a stormy gray. Not a good sign.

  She took another step backward only to have her spine hit a wall. He caged her in when he leaned forward, bracing his hands against the wall on both sides of her face. If his aim was to get her attention, he had it.

  She lifted her chin and met his glare with one of her own. “What is this about, Ethan?”

  “You tell me, Rachel.”

  “I told you. And I also told you that you don’t owe me an explanation about Tae’Shawna because—”

  “I wouldn’t repeat it if I were you,” he interrupted in a tone gruff enough to make her heed his warning.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stared at her. Then finally he said, “First of all, when I made love to you Saturday night, it was the first time I had been intimate with a woman in over six months.”

  She couldn’t stop her mouth from dropping open. Nor could she disguise the flicker of surprise in her eyes. Both were probably what made him continue on to say, “This weekend I needed to get away, so I got up early Saturday morning and drove across the border to Tijuana. Alone. When I got back later that night, I discovered the paparazzi camped out at my place and called you. When I left your apartment Sunday afternoon, I went straight home. I don’t know what make-believe game Tae’Shawna is playing but, unfortunately, it’s not the first time and probably won’t be the last time that some woman claimed we were together or involved in an affair when we weren’t. That’s how those tabloids you don’t read are sold.”

  “Ethan, I—”

  His sharp tone interrupted her. “The only thing I want to know from you now is whether you believe me or Tae’Shawna.”

  She frowned. “Does it matter?”

  “To me it does.”

  She took a deep, uneven breath as she stared into his eyes, still jarred by his admission that their night together had been his first time in over six months. Her heart was pounding because he indicated what she believed mattered to him. And although she didn’t quite understand why, she was glad that it did.

  As odd as it might seem, she didn’t want him to be involved with women like Tae’Shawna, women who would go so far as to invent a relationship with a man. Or even worse, women like Paige who would try anything to get him into their beds.

  There was one thing that was actually making her feel somewhat warm inside—the fact that he hadn’t wanted any of the model types. He had wanted her. And the strange
st thing of all was that she didn’t want any of those other women to have him either.

  She couldn’t explain the thought processes that supported her reasons, especially not to him when they were still somewhat foggy to her. But what she could do was give him the answer he was still waiting for. “I don’t believe you’re involved with Tae’Shawna, Ethan.”

  Ethan hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until he released it after Rachel had spoken. Why what she believed mattered so much he wasn’t sure, but it did. It might have everything to do with that bond he felt with her. A bond he’d never felt with any other woman. That bond had strengthened when they’d made love. He wondered if she realized it. If she didn’t comprehend it now, he was certain she would later.

  Needing to kiss her, he reached out and pulled her into his arms and captured her mouth with his. All the reasons this weekend had meant so much to him came roaring back to life like a living thing with a mind of its own. It had the ability to push him closer to her even when she wanted to keep him at a distance.

  He tried to steady his heart rate and had almost succeeded until she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body closer to his while returning his kiss with equal fervor. Her response was what he had hoped for and definitely what he was enjoying. It wouldn’t take much for him to take her like this, standing up against the wall. He fought the temptation. Instead, he continued to make love to her mouth with a hunger that seemed relentless. The feel of her hardened nipples pressing against his chest was sweet agony, as was the rough texture of her denim jeans rubbing against his hard erection. He continued to fight the temptation, knowing what his body wanted would only lead to trouble.

  That fight was taken out of his hands when they heard the sound of conversation right outside the trailer door and they quickly ended the kiss. He took a deep breath while forcing his body to cool down, which seemed nearly impossible to do.

  He reached out and flicked the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “I know what you said last night, but I think we’ll be doing each other an injustice not to explore what could be, Rachel. There will be risks but I intend to convince you they will be worth it.”