Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition (The Remembrance Trilogy #1-3)

by Kahlen Aymes

  "Yeah, a little. I considered asking my dad to bribe the dean," I joked, "but you can’t rush med school. It is what it is."

  "Have you decided yet what you want to specialize in?" Ellie interjected.

  Julia was resting her head on my shoulder and held my hand under the table, reminding me how badly I wanted to get her home. It felt so natural being with her, like we'd always been together. No one ever belonged together as much as we did. It settled over me like warm honey. She belonged with me and I was wrecked for the rest of my life. Gone.

  Julia nudged me and brought me out of my reverie. "Ellie asked you a question, hon."

  "Um, either some sort of surgery or trauma."

  "Trauma? Ewww," Ellie retorted. "Wouldn't that be gross, Ryan? You mean people from accidents, right?"

  "Anything that is an emergency, really, Ellie. Someone has to do it, right? Plus, I'd have a regular shift at a hospital and I wouldn’t be on-call all of the time, which might come in handy at some point." I let my middle finger scratch the inside of Julia's palm under the table and she squeezed my hand in response. "I don't know for sure yet, though. I'm going to talk to my dad and try to get some time in ER before I make a decision."

  "What about Aaron? Has he decided, babe?" Julia questioned. "Seems to me that he'd pick something like that, too."

  "He’s more interested in Internal Medicine and wants a regular practice. He's planning on popping the question soon." Julia's eyes widened. "Don't say anything to Jen, you guys. Aaron will have my ass if she finds out before he gets around to it." I ran my hand through my hair and laughed.

  I leaned into Harris so I could speak in a low tone. "Thanks for letting Ellie stay with you, man. I really appreciate the time alone with Julia."

  Harris looked at me knowingly and nodded slyly. "Yeah. Did you finally seal that deal, dude? Seeing the two of you, I'd say that you two are definitely on another level now."

  "Yes, and it feels great. It's been a long time coming."

  "Congratulations." He patted me on the back before the girls’ chattering together interrupted us.

  We chatted with them until Harris’ break ended. Julia spoke to Ellie while I finished my drink and waited impatiently for a sign that I could take her home as soon as possible.

  I watched my girl approach and my hands settled on her hips as she stopped between my legs. Her arms slid around my neck and I pulled her in tight.

  "Take me to bed," she whispered suggestively in my ear before her mouth trailed along my cheek to my mouth and we kissed passionately. I sucked her lower lip into my mouth and tasted her like she was the sweetest ambrosia. Wine and sweetness. So, so good.

  I lifted my mouth from hers reluctantly, but was anxious to be behind closed doors with her.

  "Jesus, you taste amazing. Let's get out of here."

  Julia nodded. "Yeah."

  I wrapped my arm around her waist and led her toward the coat check to get our coats before we could leave. We passed the man who’d accosted her and he turned his back to us. Thank God. I just wanted to get out of there and avoid another confrontation with the loser.

  We didn't speak on the walk through the parking lot or on the drive back to her apartment. With my hand in hers and her head on my shoulder, the air was charged with anticipation and silent communication that we were both anxious to be alone together, to have our mouths and bodies meshing for hours on end.

  The minute we pushed through the door of her apartment, I threw the keys on the entryway table, pulled her to me and latched on to her mouth, pushing her clothing aside in heated fury.

  We were frantic. The closeness of the evening, the sexiness of holding and touching her for hours, all the while wanting to take her down and have her had driven me to the breaking point. The sexual tension was finally more than I could bear.

  I lifted her up and her legs wrapped around my waist as I pressed her back against the closed door. My pelvis pushed into hers and her heat made my breath hitch. My erection throbbed, aching for friction, my need for her vibrated through every part of my body. Feeling how much Julia wanted me too, made my blood sing. The little mewling sounds she made in her throat excited me even more, my dick so full and hard it was almost painful.

  I'll never get enough of this woman.

  My heart was pounding and I was gasping for breath, all the while kissing her over and over again, devouring, and sucking her tongue into my mouth. Her hands clasped in my hair as one of mine clasped around her breast and I kneaded the perfect mound, feeling her hardened nipple press into my palm through the thin fabric of her shirt. I wanted it off, no barriers between us, her skin on mine. She was moaning in need of her own and it drove me to distraction.

  "Julia, God...You're so hot. The sounds you make drive me insane. You're mine. Always mine."

  Her hands groped at the front of my shirt, but our mouths kept returning to each other again and again, distracting her from the task.

  "Uhhhhh...Ryan...I want to feel you."

  "Fucking rip it off of me if you want. I don't care." I pressed into her, establishing the rhythm that we both needed as I held her against the door. She moaned into my mouth before the buttons on my white shirt went flying, the fabric giving way as she pulled the shirt open over my chest and her warm hands splayed out on my skin.

  I lifted her off the door and carried her toward the bedroom, one of my hands twisting in her hair and pulling her head to one side so I could bury my mouth in the curve of her neck as my tongue traced a trail up her neck to her ear. "How did I live without touching you like this? I must have been insane."

  "Ryan...I want you...now..." It was music to my ears, reinforced by the pounding of her pulse beneath my lips, and how she writhed against me. The smell of her skin and perfume was intoxicating, making conscious thought almost impossible.

  I lowered her to the bed and followed her down, my hands finally free to lift the white shirt from her body. I slid my hands underneath and pushed it upwards over her ribs. She sat up slightly and raised her arms, allowing me to remove it completely before leaning back, watching me as I slowly worked the snap and zipper of her jeans before sliding them down her shapely legs.

  How many times had I dreamed of doing this very thing after a night out with her?

  My chest constricted at the look in her eyes. They were darker, to the point of being black, and her hair was in disarray against the pillows. The site before me was my undoing. Julia lay still as I gazed upon her perfect form, clad now only in white lace bra and matching string bikini panties. Her skin was so creamy and translucent, her hips and breasts softly swelling in perfect proportion, her legs long, her gorgeous face full of longing. I struggled to breathe and my heart pounded so fast I felt it would fly from me.

  "You’re gorgeous. I could spend hours just looking at you."

  "You're the beautiful one..." she breathed and reached for me. "But I need more than just looking, Ryan. Touch me." Her arms ran up my chest as I leaned over her and she pushed my shirt off of my shoulders, kneading my flesh and scratching her nails down my arms. I felt my body start shaking and I quickly stood up to shed the rest of my clothes. I couldn't take my eyes off of her face as she watched me, her eyes falling to my erection, so rigid and ready for her. The want in her eyes was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  I moved to sit on the bed and pulled her into a sitting position, pushing the straps of her bra down, kissing the flesh on her shoulders, finishing the job by unhooking the back and throwing the beautiful lingerie aside.

  I cupped her cheek and kissed her mouth lightly, pressing a series of kisses all over her face and she moaned, her tongue coming out to graze mine, pulling me in. I gave in to both of us and kissed her deeply, pressing her back on the bed and following her down. Her hands skimmed down my body and closed around my length, making me gasp.

  "Julia..." I breathed against her mouth. "I've never wanted anyone so much in my life."

  "I’m yours, Ryan." She closed her eyes and kis
sed me passionately as her hands excited me beyond imagination. It was all I could do not to push her down and plunge into her. My hands traced down her body and she shivered, arching her back and causing her mouth to pull slightly from mine. "All yours," she whispered again.

  My hands pushed the delicate lace panties down her legs before sliding back up to touch her in her most private place. Her moist heat welcomed my fingers. I wanted her so damn much it caused my mouth to go dry, but sex was still new to her and I didn't want to move too fast.

  "Your body tells me that you're ready for me, my love, but I don't want to hurt you, honey. I want you to take control, okay?"

  Her mouth parted as her breath left her body in a rush and her lids lifted to look at me. I moved up into a sitting position against the headboard, pulling her up and guiding her to straddle my lap as I looked into her beautiful face. Her eyes were heavy, her lips swollen.

  "God, you're beautiful." I felt my heart swell with emotion and my throat tightened. I groaned as I pushed her hair back with one hand and moved the head of my dick against her, rubbing it back and forth in the slick wetness.

  Her head fell back and her mouth opened wantonly.

  "Ryan... mmmmm." I found her entrance and slid the hand at her face down her body, touching until I found her clitoris, rubbing little circles with my thumb. So responsive, she instinctively started to arch into me and lower her body onto mine.

  "Baby, go slow. I don't want to hurt you. Only do what feels good, Julia."

  Her head snapped up and her eyes opened as she looked into my eyes. She lowered herself, completely sheathing me. I gasped at the heat and the look in her eyes.

  "This is what feels good. You inside me. All the way, Ryan." Her hips rocked against me and I continued to stimulate her with one hand and the other grasped her hip to help guide her movements. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her fingers tangled into my hair as we began to kiss deeply.

  The kisses were incredible, so intimate, as we sucked on each other and moved together. I'd never felt closer to another human being in my life. We went slowly, feeling every touch, every inch of every thrust and every nuance of each and every kiss until she was finally panting and trembling around me. I felt myself losing control of everything I had. Body and soul, she owned me.

  "Uhhh...Ryan."

  "Say it, baby. I need to hear you say it," I moaned against her breast as my arm wound around her waist and pulled her harder onto my body, increasing the pressure and the pace.

  "You're making me come, Ryan. Oh God... I love you."

  "I can't live without you. I need you like air."

  Our hips moved together and I exploded inside her as she cried my name into my shoulder, both of us shuddering and quaking together for endless seconds. We held each other and kissed the sides of each other's faces as I raked my hand down her back.

  "Oh, babe. Julia,” I breathed as her body jerked one final time.

  I was still shaking as I moved, holding her to me, still buried inside her body, lifting her with me to lay her down on her back on the bed. I propped myself on my elbows and looked down at her. She raised her tear filled eyes to mine and I brushed the tears from her face.

  "Shhh...love, are you okay?" Julia nodded and touched my face with gentle fingers as she gazed into my eyes.

  "Perfect. I just..." she closed her eyes, "I can't believe how much I love you, Ryan. It takes my breath away. It's like...not possible that this much love even exists."

  "I know. You're my whole life." I ran my nose up one side of hers and down the other before kissing her mouth, tracing her top lip with mine. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth until I deepened the kiss as she demanded. I couldn't help myself and felt myself growing hard within her again and her hips surged against me.

  "More," she whispered against my mouth as we began to make love again and I knew that we'd be sleeping late tomorrow. Tonight I had other plans.

  Chapter 6

  Ryan~

  The weekend flew by and I was sitting across from Julia for the last time in what would be God knew how long, as we both picked at our breakfast. It was a shame because it was perfect Eggs Benedict. I begged Julia to stay in bed with me, but she insisted she make breakfast. Unfortunately, it was tasteless in my mouth and I struggled with every bite, my heavy heart overshadowed everything else. Julia was pushing the food around her plate, barely eating in the same lackluster manner as I was; her eyes downcast and preoccupied, a small crinkle between her perfectly arched brows.

  "Hey," I said softly, longing to see her beautiful dark green eyes rise to meet mine, but afraid of the sadness I'd find there.

  She glanced up and tried to smile, the corner of her mouth barely rising. "Hey, handsome."

  I stared for a long moment, unable to tear my eyes away. She was tousled from our night of passionate play, her hair messed by my hands; my t-shirt was falling off of one bare shoulder, the neckline too big for her slight frame. She turned her face to the side, presenting me with her profile as she tried to blink back the tears and swallowing hard in the process. My stomach dropped as I watched her struggle with her emotions.

  She was the most beautiful thing in my life and my mind had settled long ago that she always would be. I loved her so much I could barely wrap my mind around it. It was like the sun being the center of the universe, the planets all held captive around it, unable to break free of the pull and unable to sustain without its magnificence. She was my sun, the absolute center of my universe.

  "Come here," I murmured and set my fork down before pushing my plate away. My arms were aching to hold her, my whole body screaming to be near her, and my eyes beseeched her to come enfold herself in my arms.

  She stood up suddenly and took her plate to the sink, tossing it in carelessly, the glass clanking against the side of the ceramic. She leaned against the counter and dropped her head as her shoulders visibly slumped. She was on the verge of breaking down and didn't want to show it, thinking it would make me even more miserable leaving her.

  "Julia. Please. I need to touch you," I begged, my voice low and aching.

  She turned around and looked at me, stretching her hands out on the counter on both sides as she leaned against it, her eyes filled with tears on the brink of spilling over, her chin trembling.

  "I don't want to do this, Ryan. I never wanted to do this," she said brokenly.

  Oh, God.

  Her voice was shaking as she covered her eyes with her right hand. "This is why I resisted loving you. I knew it would kill me to be away from you. I just...I don't know if I can do it after..." She broke off as the silent tears slipped from her eyes and she angrily wiped them from her cheeks.

  I got up from where I was sitting at the kitchen bar and gathered her close to my chest. I turned my face into her hair, but she refused to hold me in return and my heart broke. Her resistance was not something I expected after the beautiful weekend we’d shared.

  "Baby, are you mad at me? Why aren't you holding me back? I need to feel you, Julia. I want to touch you every second we have left to us."

  I felt her body go limp against me as she gave in to the silent sobs that started to shake her shoulders, and her arms finally enfolded my waist to pull me closer as she cried. "I don't want you to go," she whispered as if her heart was breaking. "I don't want to ache for you when you can't be with me!”

  My heart exploded in my chest, a mixture of elation and misery. My arms tightened around her and I kissed the side of her tear-soaked face. "I love you so much." I held her as if my life depended on it and stroked her hair with one hand until her sobs quieted a little.

  Finally, she found her voice. "I-I'm s-sorry," she whispered brokenly.

  "Sorry for what? For loving me so much? The last thing you should be is sorry." I tried to soothe her by rubbing small circles on her back but, in truth, my heart was shattering like glass, the shards falling to slice me open. I kissed her face again using my hand at the side of her jaw to raise her mouth
to mine. "Please don't be, Julia. I'm sure as hell not sorry," I whispered against her mouth. "Nothing means more to me than you, you have to know that." I placed a series of soft kisses on her lips and dragged my mouth along her jaw. My hand slid behind her head and I fisted in her hair while I pressed my open mouth to the pulsing vein in her neck, sucking on the warm skin.

  "I know it...but it doesn't make this any easier, Ryan."

  She moaned and I expelled my breath as her hands ran through my hair to tug my mouth back to hers. She was angry at the situation, maybe even at me, but she wanted me and I was lost. My mouth opened to devour her. Our lips moved in unison, tasting and sucking on each other, our tongues dancing together in intimate play; perfect mirrors, each one knowing when to give and when to take.

  These long, sensual, deep kisses were ours. Just ours. I'd never felt so connected over a kiss with anyone in my entire life. I caught her lower lip between my teeth and pulled it with my mouth as I raised my head. "God, babe. I don't ever want to stop kissing you….it's so good. You taste so damn good."

  I pressed my hand on her chest over her heart and rested my head against hers, struggling for breath. I closed my eyes as her chest heaved under my hand, her heart thudding beneath my fingers. The whole time my body was swelling to the point of pain, my heart was aching and pounding so fast it felt like I was dying.

  How is it possible to ache so much in so many places, and be so damn hungry, desperate and heartbroken at the same time?

  "God, Julia, I'm going to miss you." My hands were frantic in their search for more of her skin, as they found both of her breasts under the material of the shirt. The tender flesh was so soft and supple in my palms, my thumbs brushing across both nipples at the same time and she moaned.

  She pulled my lower lip into her mouth and then slid her tongue along my upper one; doing things to me I couldn't explain or understand. A low groan tore from my chest almost against my will.

  "Ryan..." she breathed my name, her voice throbbing with want and love. I could hear it dripping off of her words like honey and knew I had to have her one last time or I wouldn't survive. "Ryan, please," she begged against my mouth.