Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition (The Remembrance Trilogy #1-3)

by Kahlen Aymes

  "I'm pretty sure you were dreaming when I came in here. You were calling my name. It was perfect. And then, when I started to touch you, you responded automatically."

  "Yes. Because it's you." Her voice was quiet and she sounded sleepy.

  "The way we are together, Julia, just owns me. I can't live without you anymore. I'm done."

  Her arms tightened around me and she sighed heavily as she pressed close to me.

  "I love you..."

  "I love you, too, baby girl. It's late and you have to work tomorrow, yes?"

  "I'd only planned on taking half a day off on Friday, so yeah. Maybe Meredith will take pity on me if you come in and show her your pouty face. I hate to leave you alone all day." I smiled and nuzzled her forehead and used her leg between mine to pull her tighter against me. She smelled of vanilla and musk and sex and I sucked it into my lungs like it was nectar.

  "Oh, that's okay. I'll sleep in, meet you for lunch and come back here and take a fork to that luscious looking confection in the refrigerator." My fingers brushed her cheek as my lids got heavy.

  "I'll expect you to cut a piece, not dig into the whole thing, Matthews," she admonished and I could imagine the rolling of her eyes in the darkness as she snuggled closer to me.

  "We'll see how strong my willpower is. It's bad enough that I had that nightie in my pocket all damn day. I felt like a dog with rabies! My mouth was watering, my body was shaking and I was literally going insane. If you keep that up, I'll never graduate."

  She giggled softly against me, leaned up and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

  "Mmm...good boy. Very, very good boy," she teased and I burst out laughing.

  "Okay, that's it!" I said, rolling over on top of her fast enough to take her by surprise. She gasped and looked up at me. The lack of light made her eyes darker, but they were shining as she gently touched my face. "I'll show you just how good I can be," I whispered before my mouth descended on hers in hungry assault.

  I almost felt guilty because I kept her up until dawn making love.

  Almost.

  Chapter 11

  Julia~

  I snuck out of the apartment early in the morning, leaving a sleeping Ryan behind with a note that told him how much I loved him and that I wanted to see his sweet ass for lunch. Despite the heaviness of my heart concerning my possible move to Paris, I wanted to make this weekend as special as I possibly could. My traitorous eyes filled with tears as I made my way to work and the reality of it hit me square in the face. I hastily blinked them back and by the time I made it to my office I was in control.

  Meredith was still in town and had worked out the details with John. All that was left was for me to make a decision. My heart hurt to the point of breaking. I felt listless and I sure as hell didn't want to work today.

  I didn't bother to hang up my coat and carelessly threw it over one of the chairs as I rounded the desk. Picking up the phone, I quickly dialed Meredith's extension and waited for her to pick up.

  "Yeah, doll," she answered.

  "Hi. Listen, Ryan came to town early and I'd really appreciate it if I could cut out of here early today and maybe take the entire day off tomorrow. I'll get everything done. Erm... Or at least make sure that Andrea knows what needs to be done." I rambled on nervously.

  "Julia, of course. Though, I would like to get an eye fix of him while he's in town," she chuckled suggestively.

  "He'll be in around noon to take me to lunch. I was hoping I could surprise him by not coming back to work, so thank you."

  "What are your plans for him?" Her voice was amused on the other end of the line.

  "Well...I wasn't planning on being here tomorrow afternoon. I'm taking him to a concert in the evening and otherwise, probably just hanging out. We play it by ear a lot."

  "Have you told him about Paris?" My heart dropped to my stomach at her question.

  "No. I guess...I'm trying to find the right moment. Meredith, leaving him will be too hard."

  Her voice hardened. "Julia, stop whining like a little baby. It's only a few months, for God's sake. You've been separated for over three years! Besides, you love this damn job. I know you, Julia. You live and breathe the magazine."

  I fell into my chair as Andrea came and hovered in my doorway. I raised my right hand and waved her in. "Yes...but only because what I really live and breathe for hasn't been in the same city. Work has been a form of self-defense to keep sane."

  "Look, you could have always moved to Beantown and schlepped ads at the local newspaper. You were cut out for more. We both know it," she scoffed.

  Andrea raised her eyebrows at me as I sighed loudly into the phone.

  "Besides," Meredith began, "Ryan will be damned proud of you."

  "Um...well, if he even hears anything beyond Hey, Ryan, guess what? I'm leaving the country, isn't that great? I know we had all these plans, but screw it," I retorted and put a hand to my head. I felt my voice crack and I swallowed so I could continue. "I'm not sure if he'll be heartbroken or pissed, but it won't be pretty."

  "Just tell him and see. Give him the benefit of the doubt."

  "Okay, I don't want anyone spilling the beans to him when he shows up here today. I need to tell him when I feel the time is right."

  "Okay. I've got to get to this pile of reports. Even from across the continent, I still have to run a magazine."

  "Yeah. Life's a bitch. Talk to you later."

  I leaned forward onto my desk and hung up the phone, looking up at Andrea as I did so.

  "What's on the agenda today?" she asked quietly. Her expression was calm but she was gauging my mood and didn't want to upset me further by asking too many questions.

  I put a hand over my eyes as I leaned back in my chair. "To be honest...I don't even give a damn, Andie. This whole Paris thing has really taken me off task."

  She nodded sympathetically, her mouth turning down at the corners. "Well, does it help that you look amazing?" she smiled slightly. "I love that dress."

  "It's Armani," I threw out the brand offhandedly. It was a dark blue silk wrap dress that Ryan particularly loved. "Ryan came in last night and acted out my dreams. Literally."

  "What?" she said incredulously. "Where do I get one of those? Crap, he's almost too perfect."

  "No almost about it, that's why this is so hard. I don't want to go."

  "But...," Andrea hedged. "You do want this job."

  "Of course. In a perfect world I could have everything, but it's not perfect, is it?" I got up and moved to the art table behind my desk. My office was a lot bigger than the one I had in Los Angeles and the view of Manhattan was amazing. I closed my eyes, remembering the first night I'd shown it to Ryan. The building was practically deserted and we shut all the lights off so we could admire the skyline. We'd made love on my desk. Blushing, I turned back to it and ran my hand along its smooth edge.

  "Unfortunately, no. Will he understand?"

  I brushed at the errant tear that slipped from the corner of my eye as I struggled to keep my voice from trembling. "Nope. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. It depends on how he reacts."

  "Julia, surely you have some idea of what he'll say?"

  "Of course. He's going to lose it. And he has every right to."

  We got down to business and before long it was lunchtime. I found myself anxiously looking at the clock every minute in anticipation of Ryan's arrival. I'd given Andrea the list of things that needed to be finished by Friday at five, straightened up my desk and then went to make some last minute adjustments on the story boards for the April issue. I rolled my eyes at the collateral list. How many different ways can you do a story on What Your Man Really Wants in Bed? Ugh.

  I reached down to scratch the back of my thigh, lifting the edge of my skirt to gain access. I sighed and threw the boards back down on the slanted surface of the table.

  "Now that is a sight for sore eyes," Ryan's perfect voice oozed like velvet around me. "I think I need to get me some of that. Get o
ver here."

  A smile spread out on my face before I even turned around. I didn't have far to go. He was right behind me and enfolded me in his arms immediately. "You're so gorgeous. I love this dress. I can feel everything through the material," he whispered silkily as his delicious scent enveloped me. "A thong, right? Mmm..." His fingers played with the back of it underneath the thin silk.

  I heard my door close behind him and his brow shot up in question as his lips broke out in the crooked grin that I loved. "Andrea," I explained. "She's an amazing assistant. Shut up and kiss me." I slid my hands up his chest, around his neck and into the hair at his nape.

  He laughed out loud at the smirk on my face. "Thought you'd never ask, my love."

  His mouth swooped down on mine and my heart clenched inside my chest. I kissed him as if my life depended on it. As if it were the last time I'd ever kiss him. Ryan felt the gravity of my response and groaned into my mouth, his hands sliding over my ass to press me into his already hardening body. Our mouths fed off each other like we were starving and I forgot I was in my office, and that a hundred other people were on the other side of the door.

  He dragged his mouth from mine and I whimpered in protest as he kissed the side of my jaw and then slid down the cord of my neck. His arms lifted me off of the ground and he brought my face on level with his. "Julia, you're playing with fire. What's gotten into you? Did you forget where we are?" He nuzzled my nose with his as he spoke, his breathing was shallow and his eyes were closed.

  I let my hands slide out of his hair and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my head on his shoulder. I nodded. "Yes." I never wanted him to let me go. "You feel so good."

  "Keep it up and I'll show you just how good I feel," he growled into my neck, his lips leaving a hot trail of kisses as he moved up my jaw to my mouth.

  I couldn't help a soft smile as I breathed him in. "Promises, promises," I teased.

  "Don't push me. You know I'll do it," he breathed as he licked and kissed at my lips in a series of little nibbling kisses.

  "I know," I laughed softly. "But Meredith knows you're here and she wants to look at you."

  He pulled his head back and cocked an eyebrow at me. "Look at me?"

  "Yep," I said, popping the “p” as I nodded. "You know you're beautiful, so stop with the coy bullshit."

  He smiled crookedly at me as he set my feet down on the floor, but kept me locked tightly in his embrace. He was so gorgeous that my breath caught in my throat. He was dressed casually in jeans, boots and a long sleeved white t-shirt. His face was unshaven and his hair a wild mess.

  "I look like hell today. I just rolled out of bed and ran out of the apartment in search of my girl."

  He kissed me again and I sucked his lower lip into my mouth. My body was responding, the heat and wetness tangible evidence of the need he raised deep within me. His fingers were drawing circles on my lower back and he used the pressure to make sure I knew he was as aroused as I was.

  "Mmmm...love you," I whispered against his mouth.

  "Want you..." he responded.

  "Need you..," I smiled up at him and ran a finger down his cheek to his jaw as I moved out of his arms.

  "Yeah. Ugh, let's get out of here. I'm dying over here. I need a distraction and now." He plopped down in one of the chairs in front of my desk and ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "What plans do you have for me?" he asked wickedly with a big smile.

  "Well, sir, if you'll remember, you weren't supposed to be here today. You're not exactly on my calendar," I pointed out as I picked up the phone and dialed Meredith's number but it went straight to voice mail.

  "Hey, Mere, Ryan is here, but we're leaving in ten minutes, so if you want to bask in his glory, you need to get down here. Pronto."

  Ryan burst out laughing at my words and the expression on my face as I said them. I wrinkled my nose. His hand went to his mouth as he looked at me and my heart melted. He was mine. But how would he feel after I told him about the new opportunity?

  "Seriously, Julia? That shit is fucked up."

  "What? You mean you don't have hoards of women just gazing at you in a daze wherever you go? Completely mesmerized?" My eyes widened in dramatic emphasis.

  "Only one that I want to mesmerize. And, she has her stalkers, too."

  "Mmmm, you think? Not as many as you. Speaking of stalkers, what's new with Liza?"

  His brow dropped over his deep blue eyes. "Nothing new. She still tries to horn in on study groups and stuff, babe. You know I only have eyes and arms and lips and tongue and dick for you though, right?" He stopped when I gasped in shock, the corners of his mouth quirking in the start of a smile, but his tone was serious. "You've ruined me forever."

  My face flushed and my body responded to his sexy words. "I can't believe you just said that," I said quietly as someone knocked on the door.

  "Yes, you can. You know you own me," his eyes were sparkling at me when the door opened and Meredith poked her head in.

  "Are you decent? Is it safe to come in?" she said happily before swinging the door open wide and stepping inside.

  Ryan got up and hugged her lightly. "Hello, Meredith. How are you?" he said politely.

  "Great. You're graduating soon, I hear. Then moving to New York, right?" I tensed at her words. The last thing I needed was having any conversations about the immediate future brought up before I'd had a chance to talk to Ryan about the Paris offer. I cocked my head at her, hoping she'd understand that I wanted her to change the subject.

  "Yeah. It's soon now." He sat down on the edge of my desk facing Meredith as I moved around toward him. His hand reached for mine. "Not soon enough, though. I'm seriously done missing my girl. I can’t wait to be with her every day."

  Meredith shot a look between both of us. "I know she's missed you too. I mean, just look around this office? There are pictures of you everywhere."

  "Oh, that's just for you when you visit, Meredith," I said sardonically.

  "Yeah, right!" she mocked. "So...what are you two up to now?"

  "Well, I surprised her by being here early, so after we go to lunch, I guess I'll just hit one of the museums or go down and check out the neighborhood around St. Vincent's. I'm starting my residency there in July," Ryan answered. "What are you doing in New York, Meredith? Did you transfer from Los Angeles?"

  "Um..." She started but then hesitated, looking at me. "I'm here to put together a team for a special project I'm working on."

  Ryan smiled and stroked my hand with his thumb, "Maybe Julia can help."

  If he only knew what he was saying and what the implications were. My heart sped up as anxiety set in. All I needed was for Meredith to tell him too much.

  "Yes, I'm hoping so. She's very valuable to us. I don't think I've seen anyone with this much potential since me."

  "Yes, I'm very proud of her," Ryan stated.

  "You should be, and she of you. You kids are both going places, that's for sure. Julia, why don't you take the rest of the day off?" Her eyebrow quirked at me.

  "Really?" Ryan asked hopefully, his face lighting up.

  "Yeah, why not? It's worth it to see that gorgeous look on your face. Get out of here, but make sure Andrea knows how to keep your ducks in line."

  I laughed at her use of words and the fact that she made it sound like I'd never asked for the afternoon off. "She's been briefed and I'll have my phone on so she can call anytime. Thanks."

  The minute she left Ryan looked at me knowingly. "You little brat. You left me thinking I had to suffer without you today and you'd already gotten the day off."

  "Yeah, whatever. You haven't been suffering all that much at my hands, baby," I teased. "Besides, you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up." I grabbed my coat and he helped me put it on before we left the office.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to smile as his hand laced through mine. He was so happy that I dreaded telling him about the job offer, since I already knew what his reaction wou
ld be. So, for today and probably tomorrow, I just wanted to be with him and enjoy our time together. The problem was; he knew me so well that I had trouble hiding anything from him. It would take real effort not to let him see that something was bothering me.

  "Okay, so what do you really want to do today?" I asked with a forced smile.

  "Um, feed you and then take you home and ravish you for hours on end. Anymore questions?"

  "None, except um... what are you hungry for?"

  He threw a glance down at me as I walked by his side, his eyebrows rising and a small smile playing on his perfect lips. "Stop, Julia. I mean it. Stop teasing me or I won't be held accountable for my actions."

  "What?" I widened my eyes at him innocently and bit my lip to stop from smiling. "Lunch, right?"

  "Uh huh, right."

  Ryan and I had spent the afternoon in bed. I was feeling desperate and clingy, unable to get close enough or have enough of his lovemaking. I wanted him deeper into my body and to never stop touching me. He was tender and passionate and, as always, made me feel his love with every breath. I fought back the tears the whole time, wondering what in the hell I was thinking even considering this stupid job offer.

  How in the hell was I going to tell him that I was going to Paris?

  We decided to stay in since we were going out tomorrow night and I smoothed the red negligee over my curves. It was completely sheer and every detail of my body was visible, the bikini panties were just as revealing and only added slightly to the coverage. I called in an order for Pad Thai and I could hear Ryan paying the delivery driver at the door to the apartment.

  I had serious plans for him tonight and although I loved making love with him, I also had an ulterior motive. We usually spent hours and hours talking, but I was fragile and I wouldn't be able to keep from telling him about Paris if that happened. I wanted to make him happy, and show him how much I loved him. Truthfully, I couldn't get enough of his hands and mouth on my body. I wanted to soak it all in and commit every second to memory to sustain me, and hopefully him, through the continued months of separation.