by Alice Moore
“Normally I wouldn’t be too happy that I drove you to drink, Roark…” My quiet admission only pulled a growly kind of noise from Roark. Biting on my lips, I twirled his chest hairs around my pointer finger and closed my eyes.
“We had one bottle of wine, Ally. Not six Jägerbombs.” I only hummed at that, and Roark nudged his knee between my thighs to send tingles shooting up my spine. “Just give me a couple minutes. I’ll be fine. Remind me again why you sleep on a futon…”
“I was going to get a bed, but I need to save money to quit my job.” Mumbling lazily, I arched my back and frowned at the tinge of discomfort that lodged in my joints. “It’s not too bad when I’m by myself.”
“Oh yeah… What about that? How long are you gonna stay there?” There was no other way to describe this morning than lethargic, and I had to take a second to dredge up an answer to Roark’s questions.
“Uh… five years? The pay- it doubles every year… they’re so hard to keep staff…” My lips dragged in a frown, and I sucked in a breath through my nose. “I don’t know if I’ll make it that long.”
“Didn’t you want to open an alternative school? I thought you said something like that before.” Humming, I was careful to leave that dream packed in its box, and Roark rolled onto his back again to cover my hand with his. “I think that’s admirable, Ally. I’ve always wanted to donate, but there are so many shitty charities out there with even worse ethics.”
“I know, right. That’s why I want to stick here as long as I can tolerate it- to make enough money to keep myself afloat for a while until people realize I’m not a greedy asshole.” Cracking my eyes open, I searched through glazed lenses to find Roark staring at the ceiling. His face had a bit more color, and the muscles looked more relaxed; the gel capsules obviously worked, and the sight brought a small smile to my mouth. “You look better already.”
“Thanks, I’m feelin’ better.” The silence that descended on us was light, and I stared into space unblinking until Roark spoke up again. “What do you have in your fridge? I’ll make breakfast.”
“Uh… huh?” My stupid noise caused Roark to squeeze me, and he wiggled his arm from under my back to sit up. Thin, sinewy muscles played on his back when he stretched, and I gulped down the sudden lump in my throat. “Wait- I haven’t gone shopping in a while…”
Even as I protested, Roark was up and walking across the room. Pushing myself up on my elbows, I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth when he grabbed the refrigerator door handle. Knowing what he was about to see made me wince, and my heart pumped ice through my veins as the heat escaped to my cheeks.
“… You have the refrigerator of a 22-year-old college bachelor, Ally…” Flinging the observation over his shoulder, Roark bent to rifle through the pathetic contents of the refrigerator. Dropping onto the mattress, I covered my face with my hands as embarrassment washed through me violently. “Are you made up entirely of… meat lovers pizza?”
“No!” Squeaking out an answer, my tongue dried, and my skin prickled under Roark’s gaze. Goosebumps washed my arms and chest, and he chuckled before grabbing my wrists. Prying my palms from my flaming face, he grinned mischievously down at me, and I held my breath as my heart thundered a rapid staccato against my ribs.
“Get dressed. We’ll go to the store.” Releasing me to grab his shirt from the floor, Roark effortlessly shoved his arms through the sleeves before realizing I hadn’t moved. Furrowing my brows, I pushed myself up to sit with a huff and ran my hand through my hair roughly. “What? Does it make you uncomfortable or something to go to the grocery store with me?”
My heart stuttered in my chest, and I shook my head a little too wildly. Holding my knees together, I searched for words that were almost too complicated to fall off my tongue. Carefully seating himself next to me, Roark unbuttoned, silk shirt brushed my thigh to send a jolt up my leg.
“Not uncomfortable… I just… am not sure what I expected.” Closing my eyes, I lolled my head back to let out a heavy exhale. “Like- I was pretty much resigned to the fact that we weren’t going to have sex, Roark- but… I didn’t think that I would be so okay with it. Don’t get me wrong- you’re very attractive. I mean- I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I know what you mean, Ally.” Roark’s voice tickled my ear sensually, and I pursed my lips together as his fingertips brushed my forearm. “There are other ways of being intimate. We’re not friends, but we’re also not in a relationship. This is the middle ground.”
“I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer- deeper- than four dates, Roark.” Rasping my confession, I ground my teeth together as every ounce of blood I owned rushed to my face. The connections in my brain stopped firing, and I held my breath even while Roark shuffled closer to me. There was nothing sexual about the way he wrapped his hand around my thigh, and I didn’t protest when he turned me to face him.
Seriousness set deep in his features, crackling wildly in his eyes when they met mine.
“Does it scare you because it’s not socially acceptable, or because you’re worried it’ll fizzle out and you’ll be alone again…” I couldn’t help but hope that Roark knew which one the answer was, and he didn’t wait for me to respond before sighing softly. “It doesn’t scare me. Ever since I woke up from my coma, people tiptoe around me for any reason. Whether it’s Carla, or work, or most other things- and I let them because it was easier. But I don’t want this to be easy, Ally.”
“It’s not about easy, Roark. It’s- it’s about pace. You may hate the way I eat, or how I get talkative when I’m stressed, or-“ Cutting off my word vomit, I glanced down to watch my abdomen tense and release.
“… There’s always going to be things people don’t like about you, Ally. My ex hated that I snored, and she went so far as to sleep into another room. How am I going to know if I don’t like the way you eat if you won’t get breakfast with me?” My eyes widened at that, and as if he could read my mind, Roark shook his head with a glint of amusement shining through. “That’s not the point. Let’s just go to the store, okay? No strings or expectations attached.”
No strings attached my ass…
“Okay.” Smiling, Roark stood up fluidly to button his shirt, and the loss of his palm sent a cold shock along my thigh. Clearing my throat, I scooted to the bottom of the futon to pull open my casualwear drawer before finding the mind to speak. “I like your snoring. It’s cute.”
“You talk about biology in your sleep.” Stiffening at the tease, I twisted just as Roark was finishing with his shirt. Furrowing my brows, my eyes narrowed on the saucy smirk plastered on his face. “Okay, that’s a lie. I was dead last night.”
A strangled laugh escaped me, and I pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt without looking.
Roark
“Get in- I’ll push you.” Stopping the carriage just short of Ally, I grinned at the incredulous look that crossed her face. “Come on- no one is going to care. Everyone knows employees are dead until halfway through their shift.”
For a long moment she stared into the cart bed, and I almost started tapping my foot until she swayed forward. Tightening my grip on the carriage, I kept my eyes on the scene in front of me as my chest constricted. Ally slowly, unsteadily, climbed into the bed, and I glanced around as she got comfortable. The parking lot was full, with strangers heading in and out of the store, but I ignored it all to push off.
The carriage jerked, and I smothered a laugh when Ally squealed and tangled her fingers in the sides.
“You better be careful! This cart feels unsteady!” Waving off her concern on the way through the parking lot, I let out a chuckle when she glared.
“Relax. It’s just the concrete. You’ll be fine once we get in there. So, what do you want for breakfast?” Energy buzzed through my veins, gorging my muscles, as the final remnants of my hangover were completely forgotten. The day was sunny and arid, and I pushed Ally across a crosswalk with a smirk. She was pink, refusing to lessen her sharp eyes, and I shr
ugged carelessly before she huffed.
“I’m going to get you back for this. Don’t think I don’t know you would’ve put me in here if I said ‘no’, Roark.” God, Ally’s so cute when she’s embarrassed.
“Yeah- yeah. Fine, we can go up and down the aisles.” Passing the automatic doors, I reached to scratch my cheek absently as the produce section immediately came into view. “Do you even eat vegetables, Ally?”
“Roark!” Laughing loudly, I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle myself as a picture of Ally’s refrigerator flashed in my mind’s eye. Crawling towards the throng of people shuffling around the apples and broccoli, I scanned the area absently before glancing at Ally. She looked childlike, sitting cross-legged in a shopping cart with her arms across her chest and an impudent expressing souring her features.
“Don’t forget to look around in case you might want something.” Even as I spoke up, I had a mental list scrolling through my mind. Ally only had leftover pizza, some butter, half a loaf of bread, and a water purifier in her refrigerator; that wasn’t enough to guess what she would eat.
“Oh- oh- let’s get some of those.” Halting our trek through the produce section, I followed Ally’s finger to the asparagus before cocking my head. Still, I grabbed a thin, plastic bag and shook it open. “I love grilled asparagus. I can’t make it really well, but that doesn’t matter.”
“No one ever taught you to cook?” Surprise laced my question, and I set the filled bag in Ally’s lap as she shrugged.
“Well, I can cook, but nothing fancy. Despite everyone saying so, healthy food is actually pretty cheap. I grew up on it- we never had the money to eat out or even get a bag of chips. I didn’t eat an Oreo until high school.” My brows shot up, and I let out a grunt as I pushed the carriage forward. In the bed, Ally nodded, turning the bag of asparagus in her lap as she gazed at the line of vegetables across from her. “True story. We were dirt- dirt- dirt poor. My mom only made enough for the bills and food that would last. Every so often I indulge myself. So, then, where’d you learn to cook, Roark?”
“My mother. She burned water, but she asked our chef to teach me. I’m no hidden gem, either, but I’m not awful. I think she felt bad that she couldn’t do something every other mother could, and she wanted to make up for it. That started when I was 13 or so.” Smiling at the memory, I took a turn to head for the butcher section slowly to avoid hitting anyone I couldn’t see. People were everywhere, idling or pushing carts of varying capacity, but none of their conversations droned in my ears.
“My brother, Matt, was a chef before he went to jail. He had his own place and there’s even a tv special on the cooking channel. Our mom never cooked for us- she was always too tired. I don’t know why she had so many children when she couldn’t provide for them.” My chest tightened at that, and I got the sudden feeling we shouldn’t be having this conversation in the middle of a crowded grocery store. Turning down the curiously empty pasta aisle, I reached to rake my hand through my hair as I fought a frown.
“To tell you the truth… I have the same issue. My parents were fine with one kid, but then Julianne came into the equation… Things started to change. I was 15 when she was born- old enough to realize that our parents didn’t treat us the same.” Stopping the cart at the spaghetti, I examined the boxes only to ignore Ally’s intense gaze on my profile. “I don’t know if it’s because she’s a girl, or just because she was born in the first place. When I had my accident, my parents dropped everything for months, but they didn’t even acknowledge her. Then she gets enrolled in Wells, and now she’s being attacked from the outside, too… Maybe it’s not the same. Your mother did everything she could to the farthest extent, and mine just ignores and neglects.”
“Is that why you were so desperate to do something about the bullying?” Grabbing a random box with a rough nod, I pursed my lips together as I read the label. “If they don’t care, why are they sending her to Wells in the first place?”
“Before my accident I lived in California. They sent her here to ignore her. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’, right? But when I found out, I followed. It’s worse now because of my accident- my parents think that if I never followed JJ, I wouldn’t have gotten t-boned. They blame her. She used to be so different.” Tossing the gluten free box of pasta into the carriage seat, I gripped the handle tightly. “I’m not going to talk about it here.”
“You don’t have to, Roark.” Slender fingers covered the back of my palm, and I took a steadying breath before meeting Ally’s sympathetic eyes. “I won’t push you.”
“Thanks.” Continuing down the aisle, I let the silence grow as I tried to shirk the negativity that weighed down my shoulders. Julianne was my little sister, and it was my job to protect her.
But I couldn’t protect her from the two people that could do the most damage.
“Do you want to get some cookies?” The question came out of left field, and I refocused on Ally to look at the food piled around her. This was more than just breakfast shopping; I had suspected it would get to this point. Nodding, my lip twitched in a smirk as we reached the end of the aisle.
“I’m a fan of walnut chocolate chip myself. You’d like them, I think.” Sputtering an offended gasp, Ally tossed an empty produce bag at me, and my mouth curved into a full smile. That simple action broke through the dark cloud overhead, and I snatched the plastic to throw it back.
“I actually don’t, but I like chocolate chip. So, let me make the executive decision here and say that we get both.” Arching a brow at the haughtiness in Ally’s voice, I chuckled as the lightness above me spread down into my chest.
“If that’s what you want, boss. I’m just a grunt, after all.” The pressure on my heart eased, and Ally stuck out her tongue to pull an amused huff from me.
“Onward, faithful steed! To the cookies!”
Ally
Lounging on the futon, I nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie and stared at the television through watery eyes. Big, comforting hands massaged my shoulders, and I gulped harshly before sniffling loudly.
“She’s about to save him! Look! It’s so- so pure and sweet and- and entirely- impractical!” Against my back, Roark shuffled slightly, and I inhaled sharply as his arms wrapped around my waist. “Heroism doesn’t have to come from a man! Oh my God…”
“Ally, you really weren’t lying when you said you were going to cry even without alcohol, huh…” Blinking hard, I didn’t bother to answer Roark’s rhetorical question, and he didn’t seem to want to press the issue. The television had almost all of my attention, and I shoved the rest of my cookie in my mouth. Shivers raked my spine from the force of emotion I felt during this particular movie, and I clapped my hands together tightly.
“It’s so mushy! I love it! Watch this part, Roark!” Slapping Roark’s arm, I pulled my lips between my teeth as he rested his chin on my shoulder. My favorite part of the movie was over too soon, and I inhaled deeply and let my head fall back. “So good. These are tears of joy.”
“I hope so.” Roark’s gravelly voice vibrated against my back, and I released my breath with a groan. Before I could ask what he wanted to watch next, he pressed his lips chastely against the back of my neck. “I have to go, though. Julianne needs some help with her project… she texted me during one of the songs.”
Stiffening more at Roark’s action than his words, my head snapped up, and I pursed my lips together to hold back a gasp. Tingles shot down my spine and spread along my shoulders as he mumbled against my neck. For a long moment, the sensation was overwhelming, and I blinked hard before reality fell back into place.
“Uh- yeah. Sure. Is it really that late already?” Reaching for my cell phone, my hand shook slightly while heat filled my face. The time read 1:22 in the afternoon, and I frowned slightly. “I didn’t mean to keep you, Roark.”
“I would stay if I could…. But trust me- I’ll be back. Next time, we’re going to watch my favorite movie.” Carefully untangling himself from around me, R
oark left me cold as he shuffled to sit beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, he smiled, and I tilted my head to offer a weak upturn of my lips in return. “Will you text me?”
“Yeah. I have some school stuff to do, anyway. Does Julianne know you’re with me?” For the first time the reality of the situation came crashing down on me, and I nibbled my bottom lip. Blood left my face, and I pulled my knees up to my chest to try to thaw the ice that pumped from my heart.
I went on a date with my student’s brother; it was unethical in so many ways. The school board wouldn’t care, but that didn’t make it any less wrong. In fact, it might be even more so because of that.
“I don’t think so. Are you worried about being fired?” Shaking my head immediately, I sucked in a sharp breath to sigh heavily, and Roark rubbed my back soothingly over my shirt. “I’m pretty sure that as long as you’re not dating Julianne, you’ll be fine.”
Smiling half-heartedly at the poor attempt to ease the tension, I watched through narrowed eyes as Roark pulled his shoes on. His joke warmed me, anchoring a security in my mind that this wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Being smacked with a sudden realization was usually more dramatic than after being thought out, after all.
“… You’re probably right. So, what’s your favorite movie? Should I prepare myself or anything?” A smirk filled with secrets curved Roark’s cheeks, and I huffed when he shook his head. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”
“It’s a surprise. I think you’ll like it, Ally.” Pushing himself up to stand, Roark’s movement caused the air to swirl, and goosebumps rose on my skin. Flexing my toes against the futon mattress, I rested my chin on my cheeks while he patted down his pockets.
“See you later, okay?” His eyes narrowed on me, and I pursed my lips into a thin line as I nodded firmly. For a long moment, he stood there, staring, and my blood roared in my ears before he leaned down. My eyelids fluttered close, and I held my breath only to hiccup when his lips brushed my forehead. “See you later.”
