Believe: The Complete Channie Series

by Charlotte Abel

  “I’ll ask for your cooperation, but if you refuse…” He tightened his grip on her waist. “I’ll use any means to protect you.”

  “Protect me from what?” River’s eyes widened.

  “The revolution to free New Eden.”

  Her trembling increased. “How do you propose to protect me?”

  “I’m taking you, Gabriel and Paul to my father’s house.”

  “If we disappear, Reuben will be executed.”

  “I have a plan to fake your deaths.” Reuben looked and sounded as if he’d aged twenty years.

  “We can’t leave.” River’s gaze darted between Jonathan and Reuben. “There won’t be a revolution without the son of Ephraim to lead it.”

  Jonathan’s heart ached for River. “As soon as I’m sure you’re safe, I’m coming back.”

  “No!” River moved her hands to Jonathan’s arms, digging her nails into his biceps. “I am bound to you. I go where you go. I live where you live. I fight where you fight. And if you die, so do I.”

  “I’m not going to die.” Jonathan wrapped his arms around River. Instead of melting against him, she stiffened. It felt as if she’d clenched every muscle in her body.

  “You don’t know that.”

  Jonathan stroked her hair. “I’m the promised son, remember?”

  River turned her head towards Reuben. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”

  “It was Jonathan’s idea for him to return. But I agree with him.”

  “How can you do this to me? You know I’m bound to Jonathan. You know the kind of pain we’ll both suffer while we’re apart.”

  “I also know you survived merge fever without mating.”

  River gasped then whipped her head around and stared at Jonathan. “You told him?”

  He pressed his forehead against hers. “War is a nasty business. I need to know you’re safe so I can do my job.”

  “You need me by your side.” River leaned back but kept her hips pressed against his. “Why else would the son of Ephraim’s mate even be mentioned?”

  “Can I trust you to honor my wishes?” Jonathan glanced at Reuben.

  He shook his head.

  River didn’t answer.

  Jonathan had no clue how it worked, but he knew without a doubt that if he commanded River, and meant it, she’d have no choice but to obey.

  He gripped her chin and lifted her face to his. He pressed his lips to hers and opened his heart. He didn’t care that Reuben was watching. Or that tears flowed down his cheeks. He poured all his love, passion and pain into that kiss. He wasn’t sure which of them ended it, but when it was over, he was completely drained. “I need you to stay with my father until I come for you. Paul and Gabriel will need your comfort and strength. It won’t be easy for any of you. Will you do it?”

  River nodded.

  Reuben cleared his throat. “Say it out loud, River.”

  Her words fell from her lips between broken sobs. “Yes, I’ll do it.”

  “What will you do?”

  “She said she’d do it.” Jonathan didn’t like the way Reuben was bullying River. “That’s good enough for me.”

  “I will do all that you ask, Jonathan, son of Ephraim.” River took another shuddering breath. “But I won’t like it.”

  River

  RIVER’S CHEST ACHED EVERY TIME she looked at Jonathan. She was still angry with Reuben for agreeing to exile her and the boys until the conflict was over, but there was no denying his own sacrifice. They all agreed that it was safest to keep the truth from Gabriel and Paul until the last possible second, but Reuben couldn’t hide the mantle of sorrow he wore like a second skin.

  River, Jonathan and Reuben continued to search for Jonathan’s wolf but there was no trace of him. For some strange reason, the animal had fled New Eden. River didn’t want to wait any longer to explain the full truth to Jonathan so she took him to the cleansing pool to demonstrate. It was far enough from the stable to keep from scaring the horses and Jonathan would most likely need a good long soak to calm his nerves.

  She led him to the stone bench next to the pool. “Sit here. I have something to show you.”

  “Okay?” He cocked an eyebrow as he sat.

  River’s fingers trembled as she unlaced her vest.

  Both of Jonathan’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought we had to find my wolf before we mated.”

  “We do.” She dropped her vest onto the stone bench then pulled her tunic off over her head.

  “Then what are you doing?” Jonathan’s voice cracked.

  “Shush.” She pressed her finger against his lips. “Just watch. And don’t be frightened. I’ll explain everything when I shift back.”

  Jonathan’s Adam’s apple bobbed.

  River leaned over and kissed his forehead then stepped back and shimmied out of her breeches. She laid them on top of her tunic and vest.

  Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut.

  River chuckled. “You need to watch. Open your eyes.”

  He opened one and groaned. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “It’s important.”

  He gripped the edge of the bench so tightly his arm shook. But he opened the other eye and nodded.

  River closed her eyes and pictured her wolf form. Her body vibrated with energy, but refused to shift. She imagined the breeze ruffling her fur. Heat spread across her skin. She dropped to her knees and pressed her palms against the ground and tried to remember the feel of snow beneath her paws. Sweat beaded her upper lip and forehead. Her eyes burned. But she remained fully human.

  “River?” Jonathan closed the distance between them and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You’re burning up. Whatever you’re trying to do, stop it.”

  She sat back on her heels and opened her eyes. “I don’t understand.”

  “Your eyes are glowing again. Are you sick?”

  As soon as she stopped trying to shift, her fever cooled. “Something’s wrong.”

  Jonathan helped her to her feet. “Can you walk? Or do you need me to carry you?”

  “I can walk.”

  Aside from Jonathan’s frequent offers to carry her and inquiries about her health, the trek back to the ranch was quiet. When the smoke from the smithy’s chimney was in view, River assured Jonathan that she wasn’t ill and told him she needed to talk to Reuben.

  “Okay. Let’s go.”

  “No. I need to speak with him privately.”

  “And I need to know what the hell is going on.”

  She pressed her palm over his racing heart. “I know. I’ll tell you whatever I can, but you need to trust me. Please.”

  “I can’t refuse when you ask so sweetly.” A gentle smile curled the corners of his mouth. “I’ll be in your room.”

  River stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  River slipped inside the smithy and waited for Reuben to finish adjusting the boiler before speaking. Rivulets of sweat ran down his back, following the paths of his scars.

  He turned around and smiled at her. “How did it go?”

  “I couldn’t shift.”

  “What happened?” Reuben tugged his gloves off and tossed them on the nearest workbench then wove through the maze of equipment to get to her. He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead. “No fever. Do you feel ill?”

  “I had a fever while I was trying to shift, but it disappeared as soon as I quit trying. What if I can’t ever shift?” River’s breath disappeared from her lungs. Her heart raced. A tingling sensation curled her fingers into fists.

  Reuben grabbed her elbows. “Take it easy. Breathe.”

  She gulped in two quick breaths but her dizziness increased. “What’s wrong with me?”

  Reuben hooked a three legged stool with his foot then lowered River onto it. “No one’s ever survived merge fever without mating before. Your situation is unique.”

  “If I can’t shift, I’ll be branded as an omega.”

  “Over my dead b
ody.” Reuben grabbed his tunic off a hook by the door.

  River braced her elbows on her knees. “What am I going to do?”

  Reuben put on his vest and coat without lacing or fastening either then extended his hand to River. “We need to talk to Shula.”

  “No!” River stood up then grabbed Reuben’s arms to keep from falling. Why was she so dizzy? “Shula will force me to mate with Eli.”

  “Again. Over my dead body.” Reuben slipped an arm around River’s waist and led her outside. “Although I think you do need to mate before you’ll be able to shift.”

  “I’m not going to let Jonathan squander his opportunity to merge with his spirit guide. We have to find his wolf.”

  “You need to consider the possibility that something might have happened to that particular animal.”

  River’s heart stopped as images of steel traps, outsider’s bullets and even a forced merge by some other shifter flashed across her mind.

  The wolf inside River assured her that Jonathan’s wolf still lived. It wasn’t a verbal communication or even a visual one. It wasn’t even a feeling. It was knowledge. She knew without a doubt that Jonathan’s wolf was still out there, still waiting. She was as sure of it as her own existence.

  “No. It has to be that one. He’s my wolf’s mate. And it’s mutual. He sought out Jonathan.”

  “That would be ideal, but it might not be possible.” Reuben tightened his grip around her waist. “Our people have been forcing merges for decades. It doesn’t lessen the bond betweens mates if their spirit guides aren’t a mated pair.”

  The thought of Jonathan merging with the wrong wolf tore a hole in River’s chest. The same instinct that told her not to tell Jonathan about shifting until she could show him also told her that he had to merge with his true spirit guide. Anything else would be disastrous.

  Two weeks passed with no sign of Jonathan’s wolf. They were running out of time. River decided to use Jonathan’s missing wolf to strengthen her argument that she needed to stay with him at all times. She waited until Jonathan was busy chopping wood and Reuben was alone in his office then knocked on his door.

  “Enter.”

  River slipped inside then leaned against the door and took a deep breath.

  Reuben looked up from the ancient book on his desk. “What’s on your mind?”

  She straightened her spine and crossed the room, stopping in front of Reuben’s desk. “The heirs of Sanctuary will open the mountain any day now. If we’re going to sneak Gabriel and Paul out of New Eden, we need to do it soon.”

  Reuben propped his elbows on his desk and rested his chin on his knuckles. “I noticed you didn’t include yourself with Gabriel and Paul.”

  “I have to stay with Jonathan until he merges.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Just because I survived merge fever without mating doesn’t mean he will.”

  “You aren’t the only one that can cure his fever.”

  River’s eyes burned as her vision tunneled. Her wolf growled. The sound rushed from deep inside her chest and burst out of her human throat.

  Reuben’s eyes glowed but instead of reprimanding her, he smiled. “Use the energy and shift.”

  River’s wolf continued to snarl as she paced in front of Reuben’s desk. The beast wanted to sink her teeth in Reuben’s throat for his blasphemy but she refused to shift. River felt the conflict as if it were her own. It was usually the other way around. New shifters had a hard time controlling their wolves, shifting whenever they were stressed or angry. She couldn’t shift because her wolf didn’t want to.

  Reuben stood up and stalked out from behind his desk to tower over River. He used his deep alpha voice. “Shift.”

  River’s body trembled as fever consumed her. She couldn’t disobey an alpha’s direct order, but she didn’t have enough control over her wolf to force her to shift. Her bones ached. Her joints throbbed. Why didn’t her wolf obey Reuben? He was an alpha.

  He’s not my alpha. Wolves didn’t speak human languages, but River had no problem translating the defiant feeling into words.

  “That’s enough.” Reuben grabbed River’s shoulders and lowered her onto the stool. “Stop trying to shift.”

  River’s body sagged against Reuben’s thigh. He picked her up and carried her to his own chair behind his desk and settled her there. He kept his hands on her shoulders until she stopped trembling then sat on the corner of his desk. “Are you alright?”

  She shook her head. “Jonathan can’t mate with anyone else. He’s mine.”

  Reuben crossed his arms over his chest. “Mating with servants to break his fever isn’t going to change how he feels about you.”

  “I don’t want him to mate with servants.”

  “Would you rather he take his chances and see if he survives without mating?”

  “Of course not.” Still weak from the effort of trying to shift, River tapped into her love for Jonathan to gather strength. She stood up and locked gazes with Reuben, challenging him. “He won’t need to mate with servants. I’m not leaving his side.”

  “Are you going to force that poor boy to give you a direct order?”

  River kept her head up as she crossed the room and opened the door. “I’m going to persuade him to see things my way.”

  Exhausted from trying to shift, River went to her room and changed into the oversized tunic she slept in for Jonathan’s sake. As a mated pair, they were expected to sleep together. Reuben knew the truth, but they needed to maintain appearances for Gabriel, Paul and Eli’s sake. The fewer people that knew River hadn’t mated, the better the chances that Shula wouldn’t find out and cause problems.

  Jonathan wore his pants to bed and River wore her tunic. The desire to mate still burned bright, but they managed to control themselves…usually. River collapsed into bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. She woke up when Jonathan spooned his body around hers.

  He spread his hand out over her belly and pulled her closer. “I had a talk with Reuben.”

  River’s body tensed. “And?”

  “And you aren’t coming back with me.”

  “But—”

  “And I’d die before I’d mate with anyone but you.”

  “No.” River flipped to her other side so she could see Jonathan’s face. She grabbed his shoulder. “Promise me that you’ll mate with someone after you merge. Even…” She forced the words past her wolf’s barrier. They came out as a growl, but still discernible. “Even if it’s not me.”

  “I can’t make that promise.”

  “Then let me stay with you.”

  “No.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Please don’t make me give you a direct order.”

  River’s eyes burned, but it was the burn of unshed tears. She had one chance to change his mind.

  “If I promise to stay with your father, will you promise to do everything in your power to stay alive, even if that means mating with someone else?”

  “I can’t.”

  “What if it were me?”

  “What do you mean?” He frowned.

  “What if I were dying and the only cure was for me to mate with someone else. What would you choose?”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “Would you rather I die?”

  “I’d rather die than force you to make that choice.”

  “That’s not the question. I was already burning up with fever when you found me after I merged. What if you hadn’t gotten there in time? Would you rather I mate with Gabriel or die?”

  “You didn’t mate with anyone and you didn’t die.”

  “Which is unheard of. You won’t be that lucky.”

  “Then I won’t merge.”

  River jumped out of bed and yelled, “You won’t have a choice!”

  Jonathan climbed out of bed and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll just stay away from wolves.”

  She melted into his embrace. “I didn’t want to merge without you. I fo
ught it, but the instinct was too strong.”

  He ran his hand down the length of her braid. “How about this…I’ll do my best not to merge until we’re reunited, but if it happens, I’ll do whatever it takes to stay alive.”

  “You have to mate with at least two women, preferably three.”

  “What?”

  “If you only mate with one, you’ll be bound to her. I want your heart to remain free.”

  “Too late. It already belongs to you.” Jonathan leaned back and kissed her forehead.

  “Do you promise?”

  “Yes. If you promise to stay with my father until I come get you.”

  “I do.”

  “Thank you.” Jonathan gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. “Unbraid your hair and let me comb it for you before we go to bed.”

  She did as he asked and sat on the edge of the bed. It was part of their nightly ritual.

  When he finished combing her hair, he swept it off her back and draped it over her shoulder. He kissed the back of her neck. “Gabriel’s wounds have healed enough to travel. Reuben is going to get the drugs from Shula tonight.”

  “We’re leaving tomorrow?” River’s lungs refused to draw breath. She wasn’t ready. She’d never be ready, but she’d thought Reuben and Jonathan would have at least warned her. She needed more time to prepare herself.

  “Shhh…It’s okay.” Jonathan pressed a kiss to her temple. “We aren’t leaving tomorrow.”

  “When?” River’s voice cracked.

  “In about three days. Reuben is going to dose our food with an emetic to make it look like we’re sick.”

  It made sense. It would be more believable if they appeared sick before they appeared dead. “I’m scared, Jonathan.”

  “I’ve been put under before. It’s just like falling asleep.”

  “What if we never wake up?”

  “Did you know that Shula has the equivalent of a real medical degree? I had no idea there was so much modern technology inside Sanctuary Mountain.”

  “Shula hasn’t been allowed inside Sanctuary Mountain since she joined us on the surface.”

  “They can’t take away her knowledge. Reuben assured me that Shula will be able to mix and measure the right dose of anesthetic for each of us.”