Collapse: The Tale of Waking Marissa

by Jessica L. Gaffney

  “Then take it.” He said.

  “How?”

  “Live in the moment. Leave nothing unsaid.”

  She bit her lip, wondering if that was an invitation. She had spent so much time pondering what she lost and what once was, that she had failed to give herself any leeway.

  “We should do this again.”

  “Definitely.” Marissa slid toward the edge. “How about the park near the golf course?”

  “You’re on.”

  The sun was darkening. “Think you can make it up the hill without me carrying you?”

  “Is that an insult? I don’t think you’re strong enough to get up that hill with me on your back.”

  “Ah, come on,” he sighed, “you’re as light as a feather.”

  Marissa cherished their time alone but it was getting cold. Hawke gave her a tug to get started. When he let go she thought about pushing him down in the snow. Maybe he’d chase her— not that they’d get very far. The snow was knee deep.

  Together they dredged up the steep embankment. Marissa paid close attention to where she placed her foot. The steps were icy and the wind was blowing against them. The clouds that kidnapped the sun during the football game had returned and the bitter chill seeped into her bones.

  Marissa started shaking. She bent over to catch her breath. Hawke put his hand on her back. “You gonna be okay?”

  She nodded. “I am just really winded.”

  Corbin called down from the top of the hill. “You two okay?”

  Hawke waved him on. A minute later Corbin met the couple midstride. “How long have you been out here?”

  He studied Marissa’s face.

  “At least an hour.”

  He looked at Hawke. “Can you carry her? She needs to get inside.”

  Hawke climbed the stairs with ease as she jostled on his back. Corbin ran ahead and opened the door. She ducked under the doorway as the warmth stung her cheeks. “Oh this feels so good.”

  “I didn’t realize how cold it was. I’m sorry I let you wait.”

  Marissa’s teeth chattered as her body temperature rose. Hawke led her to the small seating area outside the ladies’ room. It was the exact spot she was in that morning, when she walked out of the group to clear her head. “Next time, I think I’ll wait by the fire.”

  Corbin sat down beside her. “You know, Hawke, we could use some help with our skit.”

  Marissa tugged on his arm. “Yeah, we need another actor.”

  “I don’t know,” he blushed.

  Her eyes pleaded with him. “You should come. It’ll be great.”

  He looked at Corbin. “Stephanie’s in your group, and she’s already caused trouble for you.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Corbin offered. “I’ll keep my eye on her. Besides it’s time you started fitting in.”

  Hawke glanced down at Marissa. “You sure you are up for this?”

  Right now she’d agree to just about anything that brought them closer. “I think Corbin’s right. You need to start fitting in.”

  Hawke seemed to pause for a second. “Well, if things go terribly wrong at least I can hide out on the slopes tomorrow.”

  Marissa was growing excited. She had forgotten all about skiing.

  11 Up Hill

  It was a short walk to the Little Lodge but the air was still cool. Hawke made Marissa a cup of tea to keep her warm on the way over. The trick worked because the heat seeped through the mug and into her palms. The steamy liquid soothed Marissa as the taste of lavender and spring quenched her thirst.

  The thought of snuggling up to Hawke on the ski lift was incentive enough to endure another day in the cold.

  When the trio walked into the lobby, Corbin nodded at Hawke and then called for the group’s attention. The couple sauntered in behind him, both smiling ear to ear.

  “Okay, everybody, listen up. Hawke has agreed to join our skit. So make him feel at home. I don’t want any problems. Is that clear?”

  Burton slid his hands in his pockets and agreed. The rest of the group seemed indifferent. Stephanie, however, marched toward Corbin with tight fists. “He can’t join us. He’s staff.”

  “He’s here because I asked him to join.”

  She pressed her hands to her hips. “Why can’t he join the green team? They only have seven people?”

  He ignored the suggestion. “We have a minor setback. As some of you know, Tiffany Stallings has sprained her ankle. We need to find a replacement for her part.”

  Stephanie nominated Marissa. “She can do it. She’s the only person here not in the play.”

  “I don’t know Rod’s wife. How could I play the part?”

  “Actually you’d be really good at it.” Corbin said. “She’s your height and has your hair color. And I don’t think you have many speaking lines.”

  “Fine,” she huffed.

  Stephanie flung a copy of the skit into her lap. “Good luck.”

  Hawke squeezed her hand and told her she would do great. He took the script and read it through. “Hold on a second. Corbin, I have an idea.”

  Marissa sipped her tea and thumbed through the play. It was only a three-page script and there were very few lines. From what she knew of Rod’s wife she may be able to pull this off.

  Corbin bounded up on stage. “Alright, everyone. Hawke’s got a great idea.”

  “You can’t change the play!” Stephanie hollered. “It’s almost done.”

  “Burton, Hawke will need your help.”

  The boys hustled up the hall. Stephanie stomped her foot. “Where are they going? This is my play! I’m the director!”

  Marissa turned around to hide her sneer. Stephanie’s tantrums were worse than her little sisters’.

  Marissa wandered toward the stage. She ran her fingers over the worn carpet covering its floor. It looked less imposing without a preacher posed at the podium. She walked up the first step and headed toward the drum cage.

  She wondered if the drums belonged to Hawke or the church. She certainly never expected the church to allow loud music as part of its service. But because they did, maybe she’d check it out next Sunday. She’d talk to Hawke about it.

  Burton emerged from the hallway with a pair of crutches, and Hawke followed with a pile of phone books. They carried them down front and plopped the items on stage.

  “What are these for?” Marissa asked.

  “Corbin wants us to reenact what happened last year, when Rod got hurt tripping over Jedd’s snowboard.”

  “Good idea,” the group resounded.

  Stephanie scoffed, “What about the phone books?”

  Hawke pointed off stage. “They symbolize that giant Bible Rod’s always toting around. It’s perfect.”

  Burton blurted out the next idea. “Hawke, why don’t you play the part? I’m no good at it anyway. I can be Jedd instead.”

  Hawke recoiled. “No, guys. It’s your skit.”

  Burton pushed the issue. “Come on. We want to win. And you know him better than most of us.”

  “Yeah Hawke.”

  Stephanie objected. “You can’t be serious. Hawke playing the pastor? This isn’t a satire.”

  Marissa saw the way Hawke’s countenance began to slip. How much more digging would that girl do?

  “That’s enough Stephanie. I want you guys to work as a group. You can’t do that by attacking one of your members.”

  Hawke’s shrugged his shoulders. “It’s your decision, guys. You’re the team.”

  Burton glanced at Hawke and back at the group. “Come on everybody. You know he’s the right choice.”

  Marissa spoke up. “I think we’ll win it if Hawke plays the part.”

  Hawke smiled down at Marissa and waited for the group’s approval.

  “Fine.” Stephanie sputtered as she walked away, “But if we lose, this wasn’t my idea.”

  Hawke extended his fist to Burton, “Thanks, man.”

  “You’re welcome.” They both nodded as an un
spoken friendship began. The dynamics of the group were unfolding. Stephanie seemed to make everyone rigid and quiet, which was evident by the round of jokes and other pranks when she left. Hawke was now being called “Rod Almighty” as a spoof and everyone got along.

  As luck would have it, Marissa was now playing the role that Tiffany had had. She was Mrs. Stallings, Hawke’s pretend wife.

  After three rehearsals with the new props added to the skit, the group was ready for dinner. Corbin assisted Marissa offstage and pulled her to the side.

  She was about to say thank you when Corbin held onto her elbow. “I need a minute with you and Hawke.”

  Marissa’s smile faded. She hoped this wasn’t another PDA conversation. Hawke sat down by the fire as Corbin crouched down beside them. “I’m afraid I need a favor.”

  “What kind of favor?” Marissa asked.

  “You did an excellent job keeping your wits about you around Stephanie, but I need you to try and make peace with her.”

  Marissa frowned. Hadn’t she done enough just biting her tongue? Corbin leaned closer as if relaying a play to his team. “I know she’s not a good example, but you two are the oldest ones here. I need you to try and smooth things out. It’s important for the group.”

  “No.” Marissa was fuming. Her face tightened as if a snake had her by the throat. “That girl doesn’t want peace. Why should we be the ones to bow down to her?”

  “Because it’s the only way this feud will ever end.”

  Hawke seemed just as upset. “You know I’ve tried to talk to her.”

  “I know.” He patted his leg.

  Corbin made eye contact with both of them. “My wife seems to think that Stephanie is at her breaking point. We don’t want her making foolish decisions because she’s angry.”

  Marissa handled conflicts in a more volatile way, but Hawke seemed accepting. “I’ll take care of it before dinner.”

  Marissa was mortified. She was not his official girlfriend, nor was she sure how interested he was. And now she had to sink to Stephanie’s level and apologize?

  Corbin stood up and the tension dissipated. “How about I save a place for you two at dinner?”

  The couple agreed. Hawke held Marissa back as Corbin trailed outside.

  “Look, she hates me,” Hawke said. You do realize that, don’t you? She got way too serious for me, when I was actually seeing someone else at the time. I didn’t do relationships, you know that.”

  Marissa nodded. Here it was -- the warning on how they should see other people.

  “There was only one girl before you that I ever wanted to date. And she was too old for me.”

  Marissa perked up. “So she’s mad because you are with me and you weren’t faithful to her.”

  He nodded. “Something like that, yes. Now what do you say, should we get this over with or what?”

  She followed along, knowing the plan would backfire. A guy should never bring the new girl along when he tries to smooth things out with his ex. But hey, she didn’t mind sticking it to Stephanie one more time.

  Marissa flattened her smile and tried to ease her breathing. “She’s gonna take a swing at me, I guarantee it.”

  “No she won’t.”

  Marissa followed him down the hall to her room. “Well if she does, I’m hitting back.”

  He took her hand and smiled. “You got a lot of fire for someone so small.”

  “Darn right.”

  The door to room eight was wide open. Hawke knocked on the door. “Steph? It’s Hawke. Are you in there?”

  Marissa peered under his arm.

  “Steph, come out. We need to talk.”

  Marissa pushed past Hawke into the room. “Oh God. Not again.” Her clothes were strewn all over the floor. “My make-up.”

  She rushed over to the dresser, now covered in crushed blush and smashed eye shadow.

  Marissa lunged onto her bed. “You see what she’s like. She’s a witch to the core.”

  Before she could say another thing, she looked under her pillow. “My picture is gone. It’s gone.” Her heart thundered. “It was right here.”

  She tore off the covers and searched under the mattress. “I’m not dumb. I put it under here so she wouldn’t see it.”

  Hawke flipped up the mattress and charged up the hall. “Go over to the dining hall and get Corbin or Kirsten. I’ll meet you there.”

  A few minutes later, Kirsten rushed into the room. Her feet stopped like a horse at the jump. “Oh Marissa. What happened?”

  She hung her head and forked her fingers through her hair. “Stephanie had a tantrum, that’s what happened.”

  Kirsten sat down beside her. “I’m so sorry. I never thought she’d do this.”

  Marissa wiped her nose on her sleeve. “You should have seen what she did on Friday, when she wanted my bunk.”

  Kirsten wrapped her arm around her. Marissa’s voice cracked. “Look what she did to my stuff.”

  “It’ll be all right, I promise.” Kirsten handed Marissa a box of tissues.

  “It may not be. She took a picture Hawke drew for me. It was beautiful. You should see it.” Marissa blew her nose again. “How could she do that?”

  “I think Stephanie has more issues than even I realized.” With that confession, Kirsten took Marissa’s hands and whispered a prayer for the picture. It was so simple she thought it would never work.

  God didn’t care about little pieces of paper, did He?

  ~~~

  Corbin was in line for food when Kirsten and Marissa breezed up the hallway. Stomping their boots on the welcome mat, the two blew on their hands and squeezed past the other kids. Most of the Chatham group had already eaten, which gave Marissa time to calm down before entering the mess hall.

  When Corbin heard about Stephanie and how she’d acted, his eyes widened. “Where is Hawke now?’

  Kirsten watched Marissa as she tried to hold back tears. “I think he went to find her.”

  “Don’t you worry,” he looked at Marissa, “he’ll find the drawing.”

  Casting a mournful gaze at the carpet, Marissa tried to hope. But it was no good.

  As the line moved Hawke hustled up the back steps. He weaved his way forward. “Marissa!”

  Her head jerked. “Did you find it?”

  “It’ll be back in your room once dinner is over.”

  Marissa gave him a huge hug. “Did you see it? Did she ruin it?”

  “It’s going to be fine. We straightened things out, I promise.”

  She tried to stay cool but her emotions were raging. It wasn’t fair. Making peace with the enemy was not her idea of a truce.

  “If any one looks at me the wrong way, I’m gonna snap.”

  Corbin and Kirsten pretended to carry on a conversation as Hawke stooped closer to her ear. “Trust me. It’s going to be fine.”

  She gave him a stubborn stare. “It won’t be fine when Evan finds out you talked to her.”

  They kept their voices low. Marissa scanned the room for Evan or Burton. “How’d you find her anyway? Was she alone?”

  He slid his tray along. “If you must know, she was in my room.”

  Marissa’s jaw dropped. “She was where?”

  Hawke smiled but finished explaining. “She was sexting Evan.”

  “In your room?”

  “How’d you know that’s what she was doing? And what about my picture?’

  “She said she would return it.”

  Marissa’s eyes bore into his. “Well it better be in one piece.” She moved around him in line and scooped two helpings of vegetables onto her plate and a slice of dark turkey. Hawke followed her. “Are you actually fighting with me?”

  Marissa sighed. “Maybe. I don’t’ know. I just can’t take any more of this.”

  “Well you don’t have to take it out on me. And don’t worry about Evan. His nose would bleed before I even touched him.”

  Hawke was right. She remembered him getting nose bleeds when they were
kids.

  She trailed across the dining room to the back table where she had breakfast. Kirsten and Corbin stopped and sat down on the other side. “I hope you don’t mind if we join you?”

  Marissa shrugged.

  Hawke sat beside her and carried on a conversation with Corbin. She tried hard to ignore them, but they chased away her mood with practical jokes and one-liners.

  In that moment, an invisible band locked Hawke and Marissa together. They had conquered their first hurdle and the Corbins’ seemed pleased. “I could get used to this -- the four of us all hanging out together,” Corbin said.

  Marissa hadn’t noticed the way Hawke lit up when the Corbins’ were around. They were like pseudo parents. Maybe that’s what she needed, a young couple to befriend her.

  Rod interrupted with a burst of energy. “Mind if we join you?”

  Marissa looked up to see the other staff members with trays of dessert. “We lost our seats when we got up to get some of this blueberry pie.”

  The clank of dinnerware continued as Rod sat down by Hawke.

  “So I hear you joined Corbin’s group for the skit?”

  “I did.” He sat back in his chair.

  “What’s it about?”

  He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Well, it’s bound to bring laughs.”

  Kirsten scooped a bite of pie off her husband’s plate. “Can you tell us about it?”

  Hawke smiled. “It’s a comedy that hits a little too close to home, if you know what I mean.”

  Marissa started to follow the conversation and crawled out of her shell. There was a good nature to their sarcasm. Apparently Corbin had been playing practical jokes on Rod since he started working at the church. Who knew Christians joked around so much!

  When the group broke up, Corbin walked the couple to the dessert table. “You did the right thing by confronting Stephanie. I hope you realize that.”

  The boy nodded. Marissa was proud of him. He took care of business no matter how hard the situation seemed to be. She placed her hand at his back to show her approval. As she did, the ice inside her began to melt and she prepared herself to fall in love.