“Hey! What do you know about acting? It’s not as glamorous as it seems. Take after take after take, you begin to feel like rubber lips after a while.”
“Oh don’t tell me you don’t love your work, Gannon.”
“Ah, now you’re calling me Gannon, too.”
She shrugged. “He asked me to call him Gannon so I did.”
“Well, you’ve got me calling him that, too. But I don’t think he minds.”
“Yeah, he loves you Thad. And he is so proud you’ve made a life for yourself.”
“He doesn’t say much to me about it. I pretty much thought he was waiting for me to get a real job.”
“Really?”
“He’s different now that Grandma is gone. Softer. Willing to see things as they are, instead of trying to fix them.”
“He does miss Sally Jean. They were married for life. Sounds like you could learn a lot from him.”
Lacy heard him chuckle.
The drive was long, winding and beautiful. The recent rains had greened things up. The miles of cornfields waved in the wind and the windows down made everything look newer. The air was rain-water fresh out in the country.
Finally, just as she felt her stomach growl, the car started to slow and he leaned forward looking at mailbox numbers.
“I told Mrs. Tucker I would be stopping by for dinner today. You remember Gloriana?”
“Oh my goodness. How could anyone forget Gloriana Tucker?”
“Are we really eating here? I thought we were going to a restaurant. Do you think she minds me coming along?”
“What do you mean?” Thad frowned and pulled into the long winding drive and parked near the house.
“Well everybody knows Mrs. Tucker had you all picked out for Gloriana. Since you’re still single she might like to make a run at you again.” Lacy laughed.
“I doubt that. It’s been eleven years since graduation. And, why do you think you know everything?” He scolded and came around and opened her door.
“You don’t have to open my door, Thad.” She took his offered hand until she was out, then dropped it.”
“I’m a gentleman.”
“You’re right. Sorry.” She apologized. “I’m just not used to someone opening every door for me.”
“Come on, we’re going to the back door, like always.”
At the second knock, Thad was leaning in looking through the screen door…”Hope everything’s all right. Ah, somebody’s coming.”
A woman came to the door but it wasn’t Mrs. Tucker.
“Gloriana?” Lacy spoke first because Thad had pushed her in front of him, like the gentleman he was.
“Yes. Come in. Mother is resting.”
The smell of cigarette smoke and mothballs assaulted them once inside the door.
“If this is not a good time, we can come back another time, right Thad?”
“Oh no, she would die if she missed you.” Gloriana said quickly, then puffed on her cigarette.
Lacy saw Gloriana glance shyly at Thad, her cheeks flushed.
“She was so glad you took her call . . .”
“No problem.”
Lacy felt Thad’s hand at her back.
“Mother. Thad is here and he brought Lacy Linden with him.”
“Lacy? Bill and Susan’s girl?”
“One and the same.” Gloriana pulled in a last puff then put the stub out in an ashtray.
“Oh do come in. Don’t mind the mess. Gloriana has come to stay with me.” Mrs. Tucker fanned the air with the same church fan Lacy had used that morning.
“I haven’t seen you at church, Mrs. Tucker. But then I haven’t been coming regularly since my parents died.”
“Oh honey, that was just so awful. We all felt for you that day. And little Allison, too. Just such a shame.” She wagged her head.
“I had to stop going. No one had a van that would work a wheelchair and Gloriana here doesn’t drive, do you dear?”
Gloriana took a chair off to the side Lacy noticed. And she also noticed that Thad sat right next to her on the sofa instead of taking another chair. Odd. Lacy scooted a little further away from him to give herself breathing room, and so that Gloriana didn’t think they were a couple. Gloriana had the biggest crush on Thad back in high school. And she was voted the most beautiful girl in the class, as well as Valedictorian. Everyone thought Thad Gannon would snatch her up. But he never did.
“And to her everlasting sorrow,” Mrs. Tucker said with a quick glance at her daughter, “Gloriana missed her opportunity to marry Thaddeus Gannon. Especially now that he is a major star.”
Lacy saw the twinge on Gloriana’s face as she lit up another cigarette.
Gloriana had been adopted and was the apple of her parents’ eye. She’d had everything. New clothes, new car before graduation, all the best education and all the best opportunities. Except she couldn’t get Thad Gannon to give her a second glance.
Mrs. Tucker talked about old times and Gloriana’s school days. Gloriana didn’t say a word, just crossed and uncrossed her very slender legs every now and again. Lacy felt sorry for the young woman. No one would have recognized her as the beautiful girl that she once was.
“Well, Gloriana, why don’t you go get the lids off the food and let’s all sit down and eat. We haven’t had company for an age.”
Gloriana did her mother’s bidding in the kitchen, came back, and pushed her mother’s wheelchair up to the table. Thad and Lacy followed.
“Oh my. You made your seven-layer coconut cake, didn’t you Mrs. Tucker?” Thad gushed.
“I did at that.” She smiled. “Now you two sit down and start us off. Gloriana will you pour the tea?”
Gloriana had already gone for the pitcher.
“Thank you,” Lacy noticed Gloriana’s hand shaking when she poured Thad’s tea.
“Come sit down, Gloriana. We’re fine. This looks so good. Did you have a hand in all this?” Lacy took a big bite of potatoes and gravy.
She nodded, but didn’t smile.
After Mrs. Tucker made sure everyone had helped themselves to seconds, it was time to serve the cake.
“Let me.” Lacy picked up the knife and pulled the saucers toward her. “Gloriana you stay seated.”
Gloriana smiled a little and kept her seat.
Lacy cut and asked Thad to serve.
After a long talk at the table, mostly by Mrs. Tucker, they excused themselves and said their goodbyes.
Gloriana followed them out through the back door into the yard, which was grown up and unkempt. Mr. Tucker had been the gardener of the family. “He would have rolled over in his grave to see the place now.” Gloriana’s clouded blue eyes gazed at the yard.
“Gloriana, how have you been doing? You didn’t get to say much in there.” Lacy laughed lightly.
“Oh, not much.” She said, her mouth pinched.
“I’ve stayed at the farm since Dad and Mom passed. Hard work.” Lacy restarted the conversation.
“I know. Daddy loved the gardens and now, well, there’s just no time.”
“Exactly. Wears a person out.” Lacy agreed
“Yeah, I’m plumb worn out. Mama and me…well, we don’t get along too well,” she looked over her shoulder.
“Times are hard.” Lacy felt her pain.
“Mama made me marry a guy from Gaylord, Michigan. He was rich but he wasn’t a good man. I had to come home. I lost some of my teeth.” She said, looking down. “He … punched me.”
Thad stepped back as Lacy leaned in to Gloriana and hugged her. “I’m so sorry.”
The two parted. “Would you mind if I come back for a visit and bring you some fresh corn and green beans?”
“That would be nice.” Gloriana waved as Thad and Lacy walked through the overgrown pathway.
“Man.” Thad said when he got in the driver’s seat after putting Lacy in. “Who would have thought?”
“Makes me angry.” Lacy said her face turned to the window. The two of them didn’
t talk for a while.
Thad turned on the radio. She figured he was trying to lighten the mood.
“Hey there’s a fruit stand. Can we stop?” Lacy pointed. “They’ve got melons. Can’t grow them no matter how hard I try.”
Thad pulled the SUV over and parked in the shade.
Once they’d loaded up on peaches, blueberries and melon, he suggested they find a quiet place and slice up the melon. “After all that food, I don’t know where you’ll put it, but sure,” She laughed.
He found a small picnic spot on the side of the road, the most important feature being the tall oaks shading the table. He took a melon, pulled out a pocketknife and sliced into it. It was still warm. They both slurped and wiped their hands on an old towel from the back seat. They finished and noted the sun was lowering and a strong breeze had kicked up.
“Wow, what a day.” He pulled out a blanket and spread it out. “I’m going to stretch out here for a few.”
He laid back, hands beneath his head and she flopped belly down. “It’s like Heaven out here. Looks like storm clouds are heading in. Just right to cool things off.”
“Feels good…” He laughed lightly.
Lacy rested her head on her arms and let the breeze blow through her hair.
“So, are you glad to be out of high school?” Lacy thought back to their visit.
“Yes. For a lot of reasons. Makes you wonder what happened to everyone from school doesn’t it? You plan on going to the ten year reunion?” Thad asked, his eyes still closed.
“Nope.”
“Well, that was quick.” He peered out of one eye.
“There’s no one there I’d be interested in.”
“What no guy crushes?”
“None.”
“Well how do you know? We guys don’t always tell.”
Lacy felt a bit uncomfortable with the way the talk was going, so didn’t answer.
“Hey, you still mad at me for standing you up at prom?”
“Nope.”
“Sounds like you’re still ticked to me. Wouldn’t blame you though. I was a jerk.”
“You’re telling me.”
“See? You do remember.” He sat up.
Lacy started to squirm.
“Forget it, okay?”
“You sound mad.”
“Forget it, Thad.”
“So… nothing came from the ride home with Billy Barker that night?” He teased. “Did you get your first kiss?”
Lacy tensed and felt her hearing go numb, jumped up and walked to the car without another word.
“Hey what’s up? You want to go just say so.” He grabbed the blanket and heard the door slam before he could get there, tossed the blanket in the back and got in.
“Just take me home, Thad. Now.”
They drove in silence for a few minutes. “What happened back there, Lace?”
“Don’t call me Lace. You know what happened.”
“I don’t know anything. Why don’t you just tell me?”
Lacy clamped her mouth shut and closed her eyes, then opened them up quick. She needed to see where they were going.
“Take me straight home.” She ordered.
“Fine.” He grumped back.
The silence was deafening and Lacy could feel her heart racing in her ears. Why did he have to bring up the past? She’d been fine.
When they pulled into the lane, Lacy jumped out of the car, slammed the door and was halfway around the back of the SUV when he caught her.
“Stop, Lacy. What’s wrong?”
“Let me go. You know what’s wrong. How dare you…” She pounded on his chest, a wild woman.
“Hold up. Hold up.”
She could feel his grip around her wrists and his tender voice in her ear, but it wouldn’t go away. The feeling of helplessness.
“Stop, Lacy. Talk to me okay?”
He was leaning down to look into her eyes and she couldn’t look back at him. She pushed him away with both hands to his chest.
“Whoa! I’ll let you go. Just stay. Talk to me.”
She backed up, pushed her hair back from her face and stared at the ground.
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“Knew what, Lace?” He said softly.
She put her hands over her face and felt her knees give out.
Thad caught her, picked her up, carried her to the porch and set her in a chair.
She got up and paced.
“When you sent me with him, did you know?” She stopped to stare at him. She had to read his eyes and know the answer.
“Who, Bill?”
“Yes.” She grit her teeth.
“What? Did he hurt you?” Thad jumped up, took her upper arms into his hands and squeezed.
Lacy tried to pull away, but he held tight, lifting her chin. He could see the answer in her blue eyes.
“Damn.”
He let her go, slammed his fist through the screen door and swore again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lacy fell back into the chair, her face in her hands, thankful it was getting dark, and bawled like a baby. She had never cried until now. Had bucked up and forced herself to keep moving.
“Is that why you missed my graduation ceremonies?”
He didn’t wait for an answer. I’m so sorry.” He knelt at her feet. “I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have beaten him into the ground. He gave me his word.”
Lacy felt a sense of calmness come over her. The truth was out. It had lain bitter and boiling for so long she had not considered it anything but her own fault for taking the ride home with a guy from school she barely knew. Besides that, Thad—after inviting her to the prom—had stayed with Missy. What else could she have done?
“Who knows?” He demanded.
“No one.”
“No one? You didn’t tell your parents?”
“No. How could I? I rode with him. People would think that I . . .”
Thad stood and paced back and forth across the creaking boards. “You went with him because I set it up.” He slammed his fist into the porch post. “Because of me. I’m the one who told him to give you a ride home that night.”
Silence.
“You should have told me…someone.” He paced back and forth, hands fisted.
“I couldn’t tell you.”
He stopped pacing. “Of course, why would you trust me after I stood you up?”
“It’s been ten years, Thad. I . . . I pretended like it didn’t happen.” She watched him comb his hair back with his fingers several times.
Suddenly Thad was sitting in the chair next to her, bent forward, face in his hands.
“Thad, I’m sorry...”
“For what? You didn’t do anything.” He mumbled.
He looked up and Lacy saw the anguish in his face.
“I was a jerk and you were raped.”
When he said the word, she started weeping again and jumped up to pace.
Thad stood and gently enclosed her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.
“I’m so sorry, Lacy. So sorry.”
Stiff at first, Lacy felt the sobs dwindle and her body relaxed. For the first time in her life, she felt completely safe.
Darkness had settled around them. Lacy disengaged herself from his embrace and backed away a step.
“Thank you.” She whispered and opened the screen door and went inside, locking the door behind her.
Thad Gannon sat on the step and called his grandfather. “I’ll be right over. Sorry I’m late.”
Lacy heard the sound of the SUV driving away slowly. She made her way upstairs, fell into bed, pulled a cover over her head and slept in her clothes. She didn’t want to be awake.
Chapter 18
A headache the size of Texas banged in Lacy’s head as she woke and then remembered. How could she ever face Thad again? Her guilt. His guilt. She turned over, pulled the cover over her head and squeezed her eyes shut against the light. Too tired to th
ink, she fell back into a fitful sleep.
A loud banging at the door forced her to untangle herself from the sheets and go to the window. Thad.
She paced back and forth, knew she couldn’t avoid this moment forever, cocooned herself in the wrinkled sheet and went, half tripping, down the stairs.
“I have to talk to you,” He walked past her without asking to come in.
She could see the muscles in his forearms bunched up. “You haven’t slept have you?”
“Off and on. Did you?”
He stopped long enough to look at her and she could see the hurt in his face. “It’s over Thad. It’s been ten years.”
“Ten years of me walking around not knowing.” He shot back. “You should have told me. I’d have taken care of it.”
“Taken care of it? How could you undo something that had already been done?” She gave him a hard look.
He turned his back, leaned into the doorway and stared out the screen.
“I was a total jerk. That’s why this happened.”
Lacy’s shoulders slumped. How could she make him understand? What was done was done.
“Sometimes things happen. We’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She said softly, but found it hard to feel the words.
“And sometimes we do things that hurt other people forever.” He ranted.
“So…what… you want to go punch him out? If it makes you feel better…”
“I want to face him man-to-man. You deserve at least that. He got away with it.”
“You don’t think God will take care of it?” She wondered where that came from.
“Where was God when you were being raped, Lacy?” He turned angry eyes on her.
She shrugged. “What do you want me to say to that, Thad?”
His fist punched the air. “Nothing. Just let me think. I’m not going to let him think he got away with it. I’m going to find him and face him. Make him tell me the truth.”
“Hmm….and I suppose you’re going to do that for me?”
“What do you want me to do?” He blasted back.
She pulled the sheet around her tighter and said, “Nothing. I didn’t ask you to do anything.”
Thad looked at her and felt the anger rise up again. “Maybe you can’t do anything about it, but I can.”
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