“Do whatever you think you have to do.” She said softly and traipsed back up the stairs. She heard the SUV tear out of the yard. Hot tears burned as she fell onto her bed. “I shouldn’t have told him.” She heard her scratchy voice in the quiet room. “I should have just kept quiet.” She sobbed herself to sleep.
It must have been hours before she woke again, thankful that sleep kept her from thinking. The curtains blew at the windows and the skies were growing darker by the minute. She untangled herself from the sheet, straightened her twisted clothes, and went to the window.
A storm was blowing in. She hadn’t even fed Redd yet. After using the bathroom, she hurried down the stairs, slipped on her barn shoes down in the mud room and headed outside.
The tree branches shuffled and twisted. It was going to storm bigtime. Huge drops started to fall on the dirt, plopping on her head. For some strange reason, it felt good. The wind blowing her tangled hair, the fresh smell of new rain hitting the dry earth. Somehow she felt washed. Washed clean. The familiar scent of hay and Redd comforted her.
“Redd, so sorry I’m late. It’s way past feeding time. I know you thought I forgot.” She patted his nose and he bobbed his snout at her. “I’ll give you extra.”
Once the stall next to his was cleaned out and freshened with new hay, she put him in there and left him to enjoy his food. “There you go. Clean and fresh. Which is what I’m up to next.”
She left Redd and went straight into the house through the now-pouring rain and hit the shower. Once she was through, she put on her favorite summer pajamas and found a DVD. “Enchanted. Just what I need. Amy Adams and James Marsden.” She popped it in and paused the movie.
A couple fresh eggs, toast and tea and she was good. She plopped on the sofa with her plate and pressed the play button. One hundred and seven minutes later, she was up and moseying around the house, totally at peace with herself. She hadn’t watched a romantic movie at the house in forever. Now she was sorting through Allison’s stash, glad she had not taken her DVDs yet. She found another movie, which she planned to play just as soon as she shut the windows. The rain was playing havoc with the curtains and the thunder was loud enough it interrupted her ability to hear the movie. Which she was not going to allow. Not today. “Ever After...hmmm…this looks good.” She popped a new one into the slot and sat down. Drew Barrymore and Dougray Scott.
When that one was over, she was tired of sitting and decided to sew. What she wanted was a summer dress.
“Dress? What in the world will you do with a dress, Lacy Linden?” She talked to herself. Glad to be busy, she pulled an old sundress out of her closet and cut out a pattern with her new material. A soft brown print. She’d noticed a new style that Allison was wearing where the hemline was a bit longer in back than in front and decided to redesign it just a bit.
The DVDs were set back on the shelf, but the desire to be softer and feminine was not. The fact was, she was so glad that she didn’t have that big lump in the back of her mind anymore. It was finally out. That brought thoughts of Thad. She prayed into the air “Lord please keep him from making a mistake.”
Staying busy at the machine, she buzzed and cut and snipped and shaped the simple pattern into a dress. She sewed slender straps for it, but it looked too plain, so she dug in her scrap pile and found a piece of plain brown material and added a sash just under the bust line.
Happy to have it done, she grabbed her needle and thread and was just about to sit down and sew the hem when she heard a car.
“Oh no…I hope it’s not Thad.” She plodded downstairs taking the dress with her.
“Al. What are you doing here?”
“I used to live here?” She said smartly. “Say, I’ve come by to see when we can deliver the stuff to Gannon’s new place. I’ve got a trailer lined up.”
“Great! How about tomorrow?” Lacy sat at the kitchen table, trying to get the thread through the eye of the needle.
“Say, what are you doing? Did you make this?” Allison grabbed the hanger from the hook and held the dress up.
“Yes. Used the pattern from my other sundress.”
“The only dress you have in your closet.” Allison mumbled.
“You’re right.”
“What made you make this dress?”
Lacy thought a minute and with a nervous laugh said, “You don’t want to know.”
“Ohhhhh…so there’s a guy you’re trying to catch.” A huge grin made Al’s cheeks swell.
“Not exactly.” Lacy took the dress and began working on the hem. “You hungry?”
New subject.
“No. Ate on the way out, but I have to get back to work. Mondays are crazy. Had to deliver some papers, so thought I’d stop in and feed Redd, but I see you’ve already done that. Which brings me to my next point. The family is waiting for Redd.”
“Already?”
“Thanks for taking care of him, Sis.”
“Sure. He and I are getting to be buddies,” she smiled.
“What is it with you? You look so calm. So domestic. Something in the water?” She laughed and grabbed a glass of sweet tea. “On the way out here it was storming like crazy, once I got in this vicinity. It was clear and sunny at work.”
“Yeah, it blew in quick. Refreshing, though.”
“Well, I have to run. Let’s get the stuff delivered as soon as we can. Will you call Gannon and ask him when a good time is?”
“Sure. I need to talk to him anyway. “Get going, you’ll be late.”
“Yep. See ya, Sis. I miss you, you know.”
“I know. I miss you too.”
“Yeah, is that why my room already has new curtains blowing in the windows and material and thread all over the place up there?”
“Go on. You know you love your condo.”
“Don’t forget to call Gannon.”
“I will. I will. Now go.”
“I’m gone.” Allison laughed as the screen door slammed.
Chapter 19
Lacy never left the house that August Monday. Somehow the aloneness, the sewing, the knowing that her mind was cleared of the secret held in so long, did not make it go away, but it lessened the pain. But her release was someone else’s pain. She worried about Thad when she didn’t see him for two days. She prayed for him and hoped he would work out in his heart what she’d had to work out in hers.
Two new dresses hung in the closet. Both sundresses, same pattern, different looks. One basic brown, one sunny yellow with an orange and lime green band at the bust line with an added bit of lace.
Satisfied with herself, she tore through one closet after another, cleaning, tossing, keeping, crying, laughing, and memorializing her life. By Wednesday morning she had cleansed her heart and each closet in the upstairs bedrooms, including her parents’. She’d left that one until last. Going through shoes, shirts, her daddy’s ties, her mama’s best dresses, had worn her out. Thankfully Allison had made arrangements to move Gannon’s things without Thad.
Gannon said he still hadn’t returned from visiting a friend, so they made a plan. Allison would bring her friends and it would be done in no time.
Lacy made potato salad and sloppy joes. A bag of chips and sliced watermelon would do. She had everything ready when Allison came for her. The trailer was bouncing behind a big white Silverado. “You ready Lace? You can ride with the carload…there’s no room in the truck. They’re going to follow us over.”
“Works for me.” Lacy squeezed into the last seat in the car. She felt like she was in a world of her own, so sat quietly looking at the fields passing through the window. When they pulled into the exclusive location, her heart skipped a beat. Thad’s vehicle was there.
The chaos began. Everyone was grabbing furniture, two by two and hauling it in. Lacy spotted the beautiful large glass vase and made sure it got inside in one piece.
“Here, let me have that.”
She heard Thad’s voice behind her and turned. “Thanks, I didn’t want it
to get broken.” She said softly and quickly glanced at his face. “I’ll go get the table it sets on. Be right back.”
Thad took the table from her hands. “Where does this go?”
“Right there by the window so it will reflect the light.”
“Hmmm…nice idea. Now you want the vase this way or this way?”
“This way.” She stepped forward and turned it just so.
“Nice.” He stood back, hands on hips and slipped her a smile.
“So how did your last two days work out?”
He looked a bit sheepish, Lacy noticed, as he shoved his hands in his back pockets.
“I went to see him.”
Lacy looked away and back again. “And … “
“I was mobbed.”
“Mobbed? What happened? Did you get hurt?”
“Not exactly. Hey looks like they’re about finished here. Can we go somewhere quiet and talk?”
“Sure.”
Allison flew by and announced that everything was in its place and food was ready at Lacy’s place.
“Want to come? They won’t stay long.” She whispered.
“Sure. I’m starved.”
“Good I have plenty.”
“Ride with me Lace?”
“Sure. I’ll tell Al. Just a minute.”
The two rode back to her house and ate with the group and right after they ate, the chairs squealed away from the table and they were gone. In one fell swoop.
“Well, that worked out well.” Thad helped her clear the table. “Things look different here.” He looked around.
“That tall cupboard you had here is gone. The table is rearranged. And you changed the stuff in the glass cabinet.”
“Good observation.” She smiled. “I got busy cleaning. Couldn’t stop.” She felt his eyes looking into hers to gauge how she was doing.
“I’m fine, Thad. Had plenty of time to think.”
“Me, too. I’ll fix that screen for you at the front door. Where’d your dad keep his hammer? You got any extra screen?”
“Yep, out in the barn. Hammer’s on the wall in the back. Nails, too. I’ll finish up in here.”
He left and she finished the dishes and let them air dry on the sideboard.
“Find everything?”
“Yep. Man, your dad has plenty of antique tools out there. Between Gannon’s stuff and your dad’s stuff, you should make a killing.”
“Think?” She smiled and helped tear off the punched-through screen.
It took Thad a bit longer to fix it, because he was a perfectionist and she told him so.
“Look who’s talking.” He gave her a playful shove.
“Thad, I’m glad you were there that night. When I let it all out.”
She saw his face change and was instantly sorry for bringing it up.
He turned, picked up the hammer and the extra screen and put them back in the barn then returned.
“Sit with me on the porch?”
“Sure.” She tried to keep it light and hoped they could find some way to talk this out. “Want lemonade?” She popped back up from the chair.
“Nope. Just sit Lace. We need to talk.”
She sat down slowly and waited.
“The other night, the stuff I said…about going to punch him out. Well, I called a few friends from school, found out where he lived and drove there intending to confront him. On the way…” He paused and looked away for a moment.
“On the way there, I stopped at a gas station to fill up and a bunch of college kids were there washing cars to raise money to pay for camp for a bunch of kids who couldn’t afford to go. Then before I knew it, one of the kids said my television character’s name and they were all over me.”
He glanced at her to see her smile.
“What? You think that’s funny? Have you ever been in public when fifty people start gathering around and want your autograph and your picture made with each one?
She couldn’t help but think the Lord had interceded.
“Well, by the time that was winding down, a newspaper reporter showed up and the whole evening turned into a fundraiser for the camp kids. And I was the guest of honor.”
“Oh my!” Lacy had her hand over her mouth now, for as much as lie within her, she could not stay serious.
“Oh my! Is right. I got out of town at ten minutes before the 11 o’clock news or would have been overpowered and ended up on national television, which my producer would have read me the riot act and got some hotshot new guy in to take my place.”
She giggled.
“And you sit here laughing.”
“Well, I did pray and ask the Lord not to let you get in trouble.” She gave him a minute to process that.
“So prayers work that way?”
“I have no idea why God works the way he does, but He did work.”
“I’d say He did.”
“So, the gist of it is…you made some fans very happy and made some new fans and it kept you from punching out someone for something that happened ten years ago.”
Thad just looked at her like she’d grown donkey ears.
“He stole something from you and you are over it?”
Lacy stared him down. “Over it? You think a girl gets over it?”
“Well that’s what you’re acting like. I leave you sobbing and falling into my arms a mess and come back to find you cleaning closets and making potato salad.”
“It was my way of handling it. For so long I wouldn’t allow myself to think about it. I kept working and working. Then once the truth was out, somehow the poison was out. It no longer held sway over me. I can’t explain it.” She shrugged. “I just know I feel cleansed.”
She turned to see Thad looking straight out to the fields, thinking.
Long minutes passed. “There’s something I haven’t told you yet.”
Lacy’s heart sped up to double time. She hated leading sentences like that.
“When I got home I got a phone call from one of the guys I contacted. He sent me an email with a picture. He…” and Lacy knew who he was talking about…”is in a wheelchair paralyzed from the neck down. Seems he was in a bar brawl with another man over a woman and was shot.”
Lacy swallowed hard. “I see.” She said quietly.
Thad swatted at a couple flies, and Lacy could hear the tree frogs get louder and louder. They were quiet for a long time before she could speak.
“The things he did already came back to him.”
“Yeah, they did.” Thad agreed.
“It’s enough. Enough hiding secrets, enough trying to pay people back for things that only God has the right to do…enough.”
Thad nodded but said nothing.
A glance showed his fingers arced and resting under his chin, but he never turned to look at her.
It was enough.
Chapter 20
By the first of September Allison had handed over her tiara to the new County Fair Queen and Gannon had moved into his new place, Mrs. Anderson visiting regularly. Thad left town for a few days before he had to go back to Hollywood. The new season was preparing to start shooting.
Lacy had so much stuff in the barn, she began having barn sales every other weekend. Thad had helped her set up tables so everything would be safe from the weather. Even Redd had gone to his new home.
Mei Le taught her how to use Craig’s List and things were flying off it, while cash was mounting in the bank. Mei Le may have to improve on her English, but she was a whiz at the computer. And she could pencil draw beautiful art. Kippy was like a proud mother.
There would be one more leaving she had yet to endure. Thad. When he returned from wherever he went he would be saying goodbye. They had shared something profound in her life and she would always be grateful that as childhood friends, he had helped her get through the secret that had been eating her alive, without realizing it was taking over her life.
If there was anything she learned these last weeks, it was that things and peo
ple come and go but life goes on. Period. Either you got on the train or you stayed at the station and waited for the next train…or the next…or the next…until one day you realized no more trains were coming.
She endured losing both parents the same day, lost her virginity the night of Thad’s prom and her little sister moved out on her own, Gannon left his farm, and Thad was going back to Hollywood. Which meant she had to get her own life. A softness settled in her heart. The man that hurt her and kept her body, soul, and mind captive was a paraplegic. That did not make her happy. But she was free of feeling she had caused it somehow. But the man would never be free from that deed nor the others that got him in trouble. It was time for her to move on.
Kippy and Mei Le were becoming regulars at her house. Kippy’s mother had been a society lady and never sewed or did housework or such things. So Kippy learned the social rules but she never learned to create things, or grow things. She wanted Mei Le to learn everything she could to support herself. Kippy made sure Mei Le already had a resume for the day her English was good enough to secure a job.
Lacy began to learn Mei Le’s story slowly. She had come out of a hard life, been sold by her brother to the brothels in the big city to help out the rest of the family. One day, she was sent to run an errand and when her “guide” was hit by a motorbike in the street, was able to run. Since she couldn’t go home, she went to a family that she knew from childhood and hid out there, until they could get her a ticket to the U.S. There was an organization that assisted sexually exploited children if they could manage to get away. Mei Le was only eighteen. Somehow by a miracle, God’s miracle, Lacy knew, Mei Le had made it here to Kippy’s house.
Lacy had not been aware that there were programs available to invite young women from working in brothels to the U.S. Many were willing to take young girls into their homes and help them find a skill so they would never have to go back. But for the girls it meant leaving the country of their birth, and their family, siblings, and friends behind. The only option open to them was staying in the lifestyle. Some chose to stay, others left. Mei Le chose to leave. Lacy could only imagine how terrible her life must have been to leave her own country. And, she learned other countries, India, Africa, Guatemala, Philippines, Mexico, and even the U.S. had similar problems.
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