Heart Block

by Melissa Brayden

  Once under control again, Emory turned to Sarah wryly. “I should amend that earlier statement to ‘no one will come in if the door is closed except for Lucy, who does whatever the hell she wants.’”

  “Wow. Again, so sorry.” Lucy gestured at the door. “Sometimes I’m oblivious. What can I say? But please don’t kick me out for more kissing. I’m here now, so can I please meet Sarah?” The cartoonish hope in Lucy’s eyes made Sarah smile. She liked this woman already.

  Emory sighed playfully. “Why not? Lucy Danaher, meet Sarah Matamoros.” And then meeting Sarah’s eyes and smiling, “My girlfriend.”

  “A pleasure.” Lucy extended her hand. “And I do mean that. I’ve been waiting ever so patiently to make your acquaintance and I do emphasize patiently.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Lucy. Emory’s told me an awful lot about you.”

  “Well, she lies, so discriminate accordingly.”

  Sarah laughed. “Will do.” She checked her watch. “I don’t mean to run out on you two, but I have a four o’clock consultation across town, and if I don’t leave now, traffic will triumph. The office is amazing,” she said, turning to Emory. “Thank you for the brief tour.”

  “Yeah, sorry it got cut short with all that smooching,” Lucy interjected.

  Emory crossed her arms and gave Lucy the full power of the Arctic stare before focusing her attention on Sarah. “I’ll call you later and we can make plans for the zoo on Saturday.”

  Sarah nodded, met her eyes knowingly, and then turned. “Good-bye, Lucy. I hope we see each other again soon.”

  “Count on it. If we both work on her, she’ll actually let us be friends.”

  “Deal.” Sarah waved and rounded the corner smiling.

  Lucy shook her head in mock disapproval. “You are such a dog,” she muttered to Emory. “At the office, really?”

  “Shut up.”

  *

  The weather was wonderful on Saturday, and in Emory’s opinion, the zoo was the perfect place to spend the afternoon.

  If only she had gotten to go.

  “We can wait, push the trip back until late afternoon so you can make it,” Sarah had said over the phone, several hours earlier.

  “I don’t know how long this will take. I’m really sorry, but I think you should go ahead without me.”

  Silence. Emory could sense the disappointment emanating through the phone, but she was at a loss for how to fix the situation. She felt horrible about having to bow out of what would have been a great time with Sarah and Grace, but truth be told, she saw no other way. An hour before they were supposed to head out for their zoo trip, she’d been sideswiped with a call from the IT department that three separate offices were offline. Dead in the water. While there weren’t many releases scheduled to go out on a weekend, there were a few key clients that would be upset at the drop. She’d have to spend the afternoon smoothing things over personally if they were to have any hope of holding on to the accounts.

  “Sarah, say something.”

  When she spoke her voice was quiet, excruciatingly polite. “I hope it all works out.”

  Damn it. Not that. “Can I come by later and try and make it up to Grace?”

  “Sure. I think that would help.” But there was a distance between them that she didn’t quite know what to do with. She briefly considered putting the clients off for a couple of days, but the repercussions would be big. Too big.

  And now, some eight hours later, as she stood on Sarah’s doorstep preparing to knock, she didn’t feel much better about things. In fact, she felt worse. She had done the only thing she knew how to do and that was to act. To fix the situation at hand. But each action has a consequence. And her life seemed to have a whole new set of consequences lately.

  “Hey,” Sarah said upon opening the door. She leaned against its side and met Emory’s eyes. Her hair was up, but as usual, strands had escaped. She seemed settled in for the night, cozy in the best kind of way. She didn’t offer entrance, which spoke volumes.

  “Hi. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry today didn’t work out. I was looking forward to it.”

  “I know. I accept your apology.”

  Emory shifted. She felt nervous, off-kilter. “Can I explain to Grace?”

  “She’s asleep. It’s past ten, Emory. She goes to bed at nine on weekends.”

  Emory glanced at her watch as a million more self-recriminations warred inside her head. “Oh, I didn’t realize how late it had gotten.”

  Sarah seemed to soften then, and stepped out onto the porch. “She was pretty disappointed you cancelled, but I explained the situation. She’ll be fine.”

  “Will you?”

  Sarah offered a weak smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and moved into Emory, wrapping her arms around her. “You were doing your job today. I get that. I just wish it had played out differently.”

  Emory didn’t say anything because she didn’t know what to say. Sarah should be angry at her. She should be frustrated. She had been ready for both of those things. But the quiet sadness she was met with was a whole new kind of guilt that Emory felt right in the center of her chest. She’d let them both down and they were accepting it.

  How had she let it get to this?

  “Everything okay, Sar?” Danny stood in the open doorway of the apartment and regarded them curiously.

  Sarah took a step back and turned to him, brightening. “Yes, just fine. Danny, you remember my friend, Emory?”

  He smiled. “Definitely. Hi. Good to see you again.”

  “You too, Danny.”

  He looked to Sarah as if a thought had just occurred to him. “Hey, I can find somewhere else to crash other than the couch if you guys want to hang out.”

  “What? No. Emory was just dropping off some paperwork.” Danny looked from Sarah’s empty hands to Emory’s. “But she forgot it in the car.”

  What should have been an easy situation to navigate seemed to have thrown Sarah into panic mode. Emory reluctantly took her cue. “I did. I left it. I don’t know where my head’s at lately.” She hated the lie.

  Sarah met her gaze appreciatively. “I’ll walk out with you. Back in a sec, Dan.”

  Emory walked a few paces ahead, lost in her thoughts, the stresses of the day, and what had just happened on the porch. So many things seemed wildly out of her control, her own emotions included, and it angered her. She wasn’t a weak person and she hated how vulnerable her relationship to Sarah made her feel.

  “Em, wait. Please.” She did, but took a moment before turning fully to Sarah. “I didn’t know he was coming over tonight. His roommate invited over a bunch of friends and he was looking for a quiet place to crash.”

  “He’s your brother. That makes perfect sense.”

  “But?”

  Here it goes. “When are you going to talk to your family?”

  Sarah sighed, her eyes finding the ground as she seemed to gather her thoughts. “That’s not a step I’m ready to take quite yet.”

  Somewhere deep, Emory needed to know more. “Will it ever be?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t know.”

  And there it was. I’m not sure about us was easy enough to read in Sarah’s guarded response. She didn’t blame her. She couldn’t.

  Emory nodded, resolute. She felt herself failing at what she’d known from the beginning would be an impossible scenario. “I better get going. Here.” She reached into the passenger’s seat and handed Sarah a few odd papers from her junk mail pile. “For authenticity.” She turned to her car, but Sarah’s hand on her arm caught her attention. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but instead, leaned in and she kissed her softly. As she pulled away, Emory could see the heavy emotion in her eyes.

  “Tonight was rough. But don’t leave without saying good-bye. Never that.”

  Emory felt a wall come down at the words. Such a simple request that managed to touch something in her. “Never that,” she agreed and stole a final kiss before dri
ving off into the summer night.

  If only everything between them could be as simple.

  *

  “Hot or cold weather?” They were lying in bed a week later. It was three a.m., but Sarah wasn’t missing sleep a bit. She loved it when Emory stayed over. They’d spent the earlier part of the night lost in each other and welcomed the morning hours talking about anything and everything. With her fingertips, she absently traced circles across Emory’s abdomen as she awaited her response.

  “Hot. You?”

  “Oh, most definitely cold. Lots of hot chocolate and cuddling when it’s cold. I mean c’mon.” Sarah lifted her head from where it rested on Emory’s shoulder and shook it slightly, grinning like it was a no brainer.

  Emory tightened her arms around her. “Sounds cozy. I could be swayed to your side with that kind of thinking. Favorite color?”

  “Blue.”

  “Me too, but aqua.”

  Sarah smiled to herself. “Because you love the ocean. Favorite food?”

  “That’s hard. Mahi Mahi, if it’s cooked right. What about you?”

  “Nope. You’ll laugh.”

  Emory slid down on the pillow so they were face to face. “Oh, then you definitely have to tell me.”

  Sarah scrunched one eye. “Whopper with cheese.”

  Emory’s mouth fell open in playful surprise. “As in Burger King? From all the foods in the world, you choose Burger King?”

  They were laughing now. “After a long day, there’s nothing like it. I could go for one right now if I’m being honest.”

  Emory pushed herself up. “Then I’ll be right back.”

  Sarah pulled her back to bed and crawled on top. “No way. You’re not going anywhere.” She kissed her. “Too cute to leave.”

  “You know your accent comes out when you’re playful.”

  “It does not.” She sank further into the kiss.

  “Okay. Except it does,” Emory murmured, as her hands drifted down Sarah’s body.

  They were both a lot less interested in conversation after that.

  *

  Dallas was hot. It was September and still pushing ninety degrees outside, a cherry atop the already difficult sundae that had been Emory’s day from hell. She decided to cool off with refreshment at the hotel bar before heading up to her room for the night. In the forty-five minutes she’d been there, she’d refused drink offers from two different men and one woman, all the while desperately wanting the chance to sort through her own head for five damn minutes.

  Her workday at the Dallas office had not gone the way she’d planned at all, and she was pissed off. She thought back on the series of events and bristled all over again, knowing full well who was to blame. She’d had two Kentucky mules by the time her cell phone notified her of an incoming call. She rolled her eyes at the readout but answered anyway. “I shouldn’t be talking to you. I should be lying on a highway hoping to get run over.”

  “Wow. Kinda drastic. Bad day?” Sarah asked.

  “Bingo.” She stirred her drink with the annoying shamrock swizzle stick. This wasn’t even an Irish bar, for God’s sake.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Emory exhaled, softening. “I didn’t, but now that I hear your voice, maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Okay, I can work with that.” Sarah switched the phone from her left ear to her right so she could flip the pancakes she was making Grace for dinner. “Let’s try it out and see how it goes. Tell me what happened.”

  “Today, I had to fire the two editors I told you about.”

  “Right, I remember. Did they not take it well?”

  “No, they took it fine, because I couldn’t do it.”

  “What do you mean? You never got the chance to speak to them?”

  “No, I got the chance, but the moment I was face-to-face with them, all I could think about was what you said about them having families to feed and kids to put through college, and I’m dead in the water. Next thing I know, I’m flashing on an eighteen-year-old kid flipping burgers instead of growing up to be president of the United States and I’m the reason.”

  Sarah grinned broadly, still attempting to keep her voice entirely neutral. “So what will happen to them now?”

  “I enrolled them in the new training with the rest of the Dallas editors, but I told Sheila to devote extra time to them. More one-on-one attention. I hate that I’m suddenly ineffective. This sucks.”

  “You’re not ineffective, you’re sympathetic. You took steps to make them better at what they do. If it doesn’t work out, you can fire them later. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

  “I want to fire them now,” Emory answered.

  “I get that and I’m sorry you’re upset. If you were here, I’d take all sorts of care of you.”

  “I can’t hang out with you anymore. You’re warm and fuzzy and it’s rubbing off.”

  Sarah could hear the slightest hint of teasing in Emory’s voice and took the opening.

  “So I should make other plans for Friday night?”

  “Don’t you dare.”

  “All right, all right.” She chuckled. “I’ll pick you up at the airport at six thirty. There might be kissing. I can’t be sure.”

  Emory sighed audibly into the phone. “Now I’m going to think about the kissing all night.”

  “Good. Now sleep tight and try not to be too mad at me.”

  “S’okay. I still like you.”

  “Wait, before you go, someone would like to say hello.”

  “Emory, it’s Grace! What’s Texas like? Seen any horses?”

  Emory sat up a little straighter at the sound of the exuberant young voice. “Hiya, kiddo! Dallas is hot. Negative on the horses. Lots of concrete and tall buildings though.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. Hey, we’re having pancakes for dinner. Isn’t that insane? Mom and I have decided to have breakfast for dinner once a month. You should come over next time.”

  “I would love to. I make a pretty mean Denver omelet.”

  “I don’t know what that is, but I’ll check Wikipedia later. Night!”

  “Good night, Grace.”

  *

  “I didn’t imagine she would be as hot as she is,” Carmen mused, stirring her peach tea. “That’s for sure.” They’d come for their weekly get-together at Sabro’s and dined over a plate of sell-your-mother-for guacamole nachos. “Even Roman mentioned her undeniable beauty. Though out of respect, I’ll spare you his exact words.”

  “Thank you, but I have two brothers and I can imagine. So what exactly did you expect? Details.”

  “I don’t know. Someone a little more delicate and uptight with a severe hairstyle that says ‘I’ve got more money than God.’ Real-life Emory, while well dressed, was actually kind of fun.”

  Sarah smiled and relaxed into her seat. “I love that you saw that. She doesn’t always show that side of herself and she should.”

  “So what’s the update on that front?”

  “The update is that I miss her like crazy. She’s been out of town on business all week and won’t be back until Friday, which also, cue the ominous music, happens to be her birthday.”

  “Ohhh, the birthday. That’s a lot of pressure, Sar. Any big plans?”

  “I’m picking her up at the airport, taking her to dinner where I’ll lose myself in those baby blues that I haven’t seen in forever, and then hopefully taking her home and having my way with her shortly thereafter. Speaking of which, would you be willing to keep Grace that night? She absolutely loves staying with you.”

  “You’re sucking up. I like it. I’m sure we can work out some sort of exchange. My anniversary is next month and my rugrats simply adore staying with you as well.”

  “Yikes.”

  “You’ll be fine. I’ll draft you a survivor’s guide. But if they get hold of the scissors, you’re on your own.”

  Sarah sighed. “It’s a deal.”

  “So,” Carmen managed through a bite of her n
acho, “sounds like we’re enjoying our newfound sex life.”

  Sarah smiled shyly at the tablecloth. “More than I ever would have dreamed possible.”

  Carmen scooted her chair in eagerly. “Specifics are definitely required. Are we talking gentle and easy or wild and crazy?”

  “I think we’ve managed both. And maybe a few other combinations.”

  Carmen shook her head in envy and glared. “Bragging is the instrument of the small and petty.”

  Sarah grinned. “You did ask.”

  “I did. And everything else is peaches and cream?”

  “Um, yeah, for the most part.”

  “Uh oh.”

  “Don’t say uh oh, and don’t take that last nacho. It’s mine.” Sarah snagged the last of the nachos and slid down into her chair at its wonder.

  Carmen eyed her knowingly. “Don’t use the nachos as a distraction. I know you, and there’s something else on your mind. Tell me now or I’m getting up and walking out of here. And you know I don’t make idle threats, so start talking. Five, four, three, two—”

  “All right, all right. A little extra aggressive with the mommy mode today, aren’t we? Geez.” Sarah shifted in her seat. “It’s minor. It’s so minor in the scheme of everything good that I shouldn’t even say it out loud. But there are times when I feel like I’m…I don’t know, out of my league with Emory. Like I’m treading water or something.”

  “Out of your league? First of all, that’s crazy. And second of all, what are you even talking about?”

  Sarah took a moment and searched for the best way to articulate the nagging feeling she couldn’t seem to shake lately. “Emory travels all over the world. I’ve never even been out of California. She’s practically a world-class chef, and I peak at chicken and rice casserole. She knows everything there is to know about classic art and I watch Monday Night Football. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

  “No, I don’t. I adore your chicken and rice casserole.”

  “Work with me here. Focus.”

  “Got it. Continue.”