by Wegner, Ola
“I know, Thomas told me.”
She pushed away from him gently, to look at him. “You know even before she left for good, we saw her so little. I really don’t remember her being at home with us, or coming to pick us up after school. Grandma was taking care of me and Peter most of the time when dad was at work. When she disappeared for good one day, it wasn’t even that big a shock for us. We almost didn’t notice. Only when I was older, I started thinking more about her and why she disappeared. I couldn’t understand why she left us without as much as a farewell. I wondered if she wasn’t just a little curious how we lived and looked like.”
“Didn’t she contact you?”
Amy shook her head. “No, never.” She paused. “You know I asked our Grandma about mother, shortly before she died. She said that she took too much drugs, and died four years after she left us.” She stared out of the window. “Father didn’t even mention the fact of her death to us,” she added absently.
Jake cupped her face so she looked at him. “You know that it’s not your fault that she left.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know. I understand that she had to have problems with herself. Father never speaks of her to us, but when we first discovered that Peter started taking light drugs, he got so angry and so terrified.” She involuntarily trembled in his arms. “You know what I fear most?” She stared at him, apprehensive. “Sometimes I’m afraid that if I had a baby one day, it would inherit her character and be just like Peter.”
“Darling, what sad thoughts are these?” he asked and shook her gently. “It won’t happen,” he added more firmly.
But her face contorted and the tears brimmed in her eyes again. Jake brought her to him, feeling wetness on his neck.
“Shush.” He rocked her in his arms, kissing her hair and rubbing her back. “All will be fine.”
“But we often inherit after grandparents not parents,” she insisted miserably.
He pushed her away from him, and looked intently into her eyes. “When you get something in this silly head of yours....” He shook his head in exasperation. “Don’t even think about such possibilities. Hear me? It’s a bad thing to project such sad scenarios. If there’s going to be a baby, he or she will be our baby. Not like anyone else.”
“You’re right.” She smiled palely. “Sorry, I’m simply moody today.” Her smile grew bigger. “But I must admit that you’re pretty good at scattering my demons away.”
He smiled back at her. “You know, leave the dishes, I’ll wash up and you go and take a long relaxing bath.”
She got up from his lap, picked up the dirty dishes, and leaning over, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’m fine, you go and have some rest. You’re the one who’s working much too hard. And it’s been a long evening.”
* * * *
Despite Amy’s anxieties, the next weeks turned out to be peaceful. Thomas didn’t insist on returning to the company on a full time basis. All he wanted to be ensured of was that the people would keep their jobs. He refused to look at the financial and sales reports, or listen to Jake’s plans concerning the future development of his company. He didn’t even visit the place. He said that he wanted to leave the company to his grandchildren.
Amy was both relieved and surprised with such a course of action, but very happy that her father seemed to accept his new life routine. Thomas looked much better. He lost some weight, and a healthy glow returned to his face. He started making furniture again in the shed at the back of the house. He even promised Amy to make a few pieces especially for her new house.
Amy’s life was busy as the house was taking all her attention. She couldn’t sleep at night thinking on how she wanted to decorate the interior. Once, Jake woke in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and saw her lying flat on her back, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. She’d had no choice, but to admit to him that she couldn’t sleep because she’d been thinking what kind of curtains she should order for the living room. He did not comment on this, just gave her a look as if she had been just slightly demented.
The most necessary works like repainting the walls and rebuilding the bathrooms, and the kitchen were being performed swiftly, mainly due to the excellent team of workers Jake hired. Amy started to really believe that they would be able move in before Christmas. When it came to the master bedroom she chose and ordered a king sized bed. The idea of having separate bedrooms with Jake, had vanished from her mind a long time ago. True she hadn’t wanted this marriage, but she was happy, feeling loved, protected, and wanted.
Since the evening when they had talked for so long, their life together seemed to have improved, gaining a new, better quality to it. Amy knew that she hadn’t yet sorted out her own ambiguous feelings towards her husband. She cared for him, she was certain. She didn’t want to live without him. It was the best thing in the world to have the right to snuggle into him each evening and fall asleep in his arms. But she wasn’t ready yet to name it love.
Chapter Seventeen
She was in the middle of introducing data about the newly acquired books into the library’s catalogue, when Geri entered the office with another pile of files.
Amy glared at her from above the computer screen. “You must be kidding.”
“No, I’m not.” Geri put the papers next to the similar pile on the desk. “Mr. Robertson says it has to be done today.”
“Great,” Amy murmured unenthusiastically.
“How’s the house, all ready?” Geri asked, sitting on the edge of Amy’s desk.
“Actually, yes,” Amy answered without raising her eyes from the computer screen. “It’s basically ready to live in. Well, perhaps apart from the curtains, they will be ready next week and the carpets, which I still haven’t time to look for. But I’m determined to move in before Christmas, I am only terrified because of all that packing that’s before me. I’ve got so many things, all those books, clothes, everything...” she sighed. “Not to mention Jake’s stuff that must be moved from his old apartment, though still, he’s got much less to pack than I. I’ve got no idea how and when I got so much stuff.”
“You can pack only the most necessary things, and move the rest gradually, later on,” Geri suggested rationally.
Amy gazed at her friend thoughtfully. “You know that’s a very good idea.” She smiled at the older woman. “But I’m telling you, the house is so beautiful, absolutely perfect,” she said dreamily, but then her expression sobered. “Though my stepmother informed me that in her opinion it was very plain and that I could have easily talked Jake into buying something bigger, and how she put it, more representative of him and his important position in life.”
Geri laughed. “You father’s wife is a piece of work.”
“You’re telling me? Jake keeps telling me that I should ignore her and I really try to but she’s so irritating.”
“I think she’s jealous,” Geri said.
“Jealous of me?”
“Sure.” Geri’s voice sounded very confident. “Let’s take it from her perspective, shall we?” She started counting on her fingers. “First of all you’re younger. Next, your father, her husband, adores you. You’re classy and better educated than she is. And what must be the most painful for her is that you, not her, got a real catch. Jake has got much more money than her husband.”
Amy shrugged. “That’s possible, but I’m not going to spoil my good mood thinking about Claire,” she declared indifferently. “Returning to the subject of the house,” she smiled broadly, “I’m telling you. I couldn’t have imagined anything more perfect. I knew it was the one the first time I laid my eyes on it. I cannot wait to live there. Plus my condo is really too small for two adults. Jake doesn’t even have the proper place to work when he’s home. And the closets are much too small so that his business suits get crumpled all the time.”
“Well, you’ll have enough room at the new place, enjoy it. At least until the children will start to grow, demanding their own rooms,” Geri proclaimed knowi
ngly, and laughed a moment later seeing her friend’s disgruntled expression. “Don’t look at me like that,” she laughed. “You will have at least two before you notice. You’ll see yourself,” she added with a big smile on her face.
“Right,” Amy huffed, trying to put an indifferent expression on her face.
Over a month had passed since that afternoon in the kitchen when they had ‘forgotten’ to use the condom. Her period was late, but she hadn’t done the pregnancy test so far. She knew that chickening out and not doing the test wouldn’t solve anything. She really should get a grip on herself, go to the drug store, and buy the test. There could be many different reasons why her period was three weeks late.
Jake had spoken nothing about it, but he rarely did speak much. He was a man of few words. But she wasn’t fooled with his omission of the baby subject. Amy knew he observed her keenly, and pampered her even more than usual. The best example was that he didn’t allow her to carry more than her own purse, scowling at her when she even tried to reach for a bag full of groceries.
Still, apart from the absence of her period nothing else suggested that she could be pregnant. She didn’t suffer from the usual symptoms like breast tenderness, fainting, vomiting, or strange food cravings. There was still a chance that they’d had a narrow escape this time.
Geri laughed again, bringing Amy’s attention back to their conversation. “I can bet you on that. From what I’ve seen of your husband, he’s pretty determined to have you bound to him in every way possible.”
Amy ignored the last remark, just shaking her head. Jake had made it clear to her that he wanted children, and she really couldn’t blame him after what he’d gone through with his ex-girlfriend. But she seriously thought they should first settle more securely into their life together before expanding their family. Everything was happening so fast. Last summer she had been a single girl, touring Europe with a backpack, with no commitments whatsoever. And now she was married and quite possibly pregnant.
Wanting to distract herself and Geri, as well, from the subject of children, she gave the other woman a pointed look. “Speaking about the house. I just want to remind you that you haven’t yet seen it, though I invited you there several times,” she stressed.
Geri looked at her with a degree of guilt in her blue eyes. “I know, Amy, and I really do want to see it, but we’ve been so busy for the last week. I’ve got barely time to brush my hair in the morning,” the older woman explained, “Ben’s working double shifts this month, and I need to take children to and back from school. Moreover, every Saturday I need to drive the boys to their wrestling practice and Annie to her dance lessons.”
“I know how busy you are,” Amy said, her tone gentler. “Just promise to visit me as soon as you’re able.”
“I promise,” Geri agreed easily and then her expression brightened, “Look, I think I could get away for a couple of hours next Saturday, actually. My mum’s coming for a few days and I think there would be no problem if I ask her to stay with the kids for the afternoon.”
Amy clasped her hands together. “Great! There’ll be enough time to see the house and perhaps have lunch at some nice place.” she cried enthusiastically. “I’ll talk with Laura. Perhaps she’ll be able to come with us, too.”
The women smiled at one another in mutual understanding, and Geri started walking to the door, when she touched her hand to her forehead.
“I totally forgot to tell you,” she said, turning back to Amy. “Someone’s been asking about you this morning. Just before you came to work.”
Amy frowned in surprise. “About me? Who?”
“Some guy.”
Amy’s eyebrows shot upwards. “What guy?”
Geri shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean I don’t know him, and he hasn’t introduced himself.”
“That’s strange.” Amy stared in confusion at the older woman. “Perhaps there’s some misunderstanding, and he’s been looking for someone else?” she suggested.
Geri kept shaking her head. “Nope. He asked specifically about you, but he used your maiden name as if he didn’t know that you got married. He was very confident about you as if he knew you very well. But when I asked him to leave his name or card he said he wanted to surprise you.”
“That’s so weird,” Amy said more to herself then to her friend.
“So you don’t know who it can be?” Geri asked curiously.
Amy pursed her lips. “No idea at all. What did he look like?”
“In his late twenties, of medium height, blond.”
Amy’s frown deepened. “I have no idea who it could be. As a matter of fact it could be anyone. And he really didn’t want to leave a business card or something like that?”
Geri shook her heard. “No, he didn’t, though I specifically asked him to. He said only that he was an old friend and that you probably didn’t expect him. I said you should be free around lunch if he wanted to talk with you. He said that he would be here around one o’clock.”
Amy glanced up at the clock on the wall. “Meaning soon. I should be finished with this in half an hour.” She stole a quick glance at the new pile brought earlier by Geri. “I’ll deal with the rest after lunch.”
“So I understand that you won’t have lunch with me today, but with this secret admirer of yours?” Geri asked with a smile, opening the door to the corridor.
Amy laughed. “Please, I have no admirers, besides there’s no guarantee he’ll return,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, it’s some misunderstanding probably.”
“Ok, so I’ll wait for you together with Laura at our usual place,” Geri said, closing the door behind her.
Amy smiled after her, and then with a new determination returned her attention to the rest of the data she needed to enter.
Little over half an hour later, Amy crossed the main lobby of the library, directing herself to the cafeteria where she usually had lunch with her friends, when someone’s male voice called her name.
Turning around to see who it was, she had to blink her eyes several times, not being quite sure what she was seeing. “Michael?” she uttered in total disbelief, “What are you doing here?”
Before she could react, she found herself wrapped in his arms. “Amy, how wonderful to see you,” he whispered warmly, squeezing her to him.
Amy stood stiffly, letting him embrace her, being too astonished to push him away. After a moment she registered only that it felt strange and somehow unpleasant, even creepy to be in his arms like this. His scent was irritating and he seemed so... short. Short in comparison to Jake, she realized, at last pulling away from him.
“How did you find me?” she asked coolly, “And what are you doing here?”
He seemed surprised by her reaction. “I met your father some time ago. Didn’t he tell you?” he sounded offended.
Amy studied him for a moment, wondering whether he expected her to throw herself into his arms after all these years since he’d chosen to have nothing to do with her. She looked at him and saw a total stranger. He seemed to be a completely different man than the one she remembered.
“Yes, he did, he did,” she said distractedly, managing a neutral smile, “But still I didn’t expect to meet you here. You live in Boston I gather.”
“Yes, I do, for now at least.” He shuffled his hands confidently into the pockets of his slacks. “But I’m thinking about moving somewhere else and changing jobs. I’ve had enough of big city life.”
“That’s strange,” she remarked, eyeing him carefully, “You always said you couldn’t imagine yourself in any other place than a big city.”
He pursed his lips. “Yes, but people change, mature.”
“Yes, they do,” she agreed, though she didn’t think that he looked or acted any more mature than the last time she’d seen him.
He was exactly the same Michael Cummings she had known. The difference was that her heart didn’t flutter when she looked at him and she certainly didn’t feel weak in her kne
es, standing next to him. She realized then that she had been the one to change and mature.
“Look.” He gathered her to him, his arm wrapping boldly around her back. He was already directing both of them towards the entrance. “Let’s go to some place quiet where we can talk in private.”
“There is such a place nearby,” she said quickly, thinking about the small park a few blocks away. She didn’t want Geri or Laura to see him. She wanted to spare herself the awkward introductions.
“Great.” He smiled confidently, opening the door for her. “I have so much to tell you.”
“Sure.” Amy forced herself to smile. “Let me just grab some coffee. I haven’t had a cup yet this morning.”
Fifteen minutes later, they sat on the bench, in a small park across from the library. It was the first day of December and the trees were all bare, though the grass was freshly green as the weather was constantly sunny and there hadn’t been a frost at night.
Amy sipped her decaf latte and listened to the man beside her, who had been talking for the last fifteen minutes. The sole subject of his speech was himself. He was complaining, or rather whining about his horrible job and about his cold, indifferent wife, who didn’t understand him. In general, all of his monologue was about how much he’d been misunderstood, underestimated, and mistreated by everyone around him. Amy was getting sick of listening to this.
“So you do work in the library,” he said when he finished his tale, at last directing his attention on her.
She nodded, not looking at him, her eyes resting on the blue sky. “Yes, for over two years now,” she acknowledged softly, “I finished grad school in the process, too.”
“This is what I’ve always liked about you, Amy,” he noted warmly, “Despite being so intelligent you never wanted a high profile career. My wife thinks only about the promotion she’s going to get. She is career obsessed. She’s like a man in this respect.”
