by Wegner, Ola
“I like my job,” Amy said, not being able to help her half-defensive tone.
“Of course, you do.” He smiled, taking her gloved hand in his, and squeezing it.
She took her hand away. “I don’t find anything wrong in the attitude of women who want to work to prove their abilities and talents and face new challenges. Besides, I think that you have a slightly distorted image of the profession of a librarian. The job holds much responsibility, I assure you.”
Jake stared at her for a moment with a frown, but then his face relaxed and he even grinned. “I forgot how good a debater you can be when you set yourself on something. It’s a shame that you didn’t finish law,” he expression sobered, “Sometimes I feel guilty about it.”
“Why?” she asked, sending him a glare.
He leaned toward her. “You don’t have to pretend, Amy.” His face was so close that she felt his breath on her cheek. “I know you left school because of me.”
Amy chuckled, murmuring more to herself than to him. “Your ego has certainly not suffered over the years.”
Jake chose not to comment on that. “Your father mentioned you got married,” he changed the subject.
“Yes, I did,” she confirmed calmly, “A couple of months ago.”
“And your husband is a kind of builder or something like that, right?” Michael remarked casually.
“He’s an engineer,” she retorted sharply, before she could even think. “He owns his own building company, one of the biggest in the state. He’s very successful,” she added more calmly.
Usually she would have never said something like that. She hated bragging about Jake in front of other people. She thought it inelegant and indelicate, and generally unnecessary, but something in Michael’s tone unnerved her. He sounded superior, almost condescending when speaking about Jake’s profession and she didn’t like it.
“Oh, really,” Jake said lightly, but Amy instantly noticed he sounded a tad less confident. “Well, well, so he must be really very busy, running his own company.”
“Yes, he is,” Amy agreed quietly, “but he always finds time for me,” she said proudly.
There was a long moment of silence between them. Amy sipped her coffee, her eyes on the pond in front of them. She sensed his eyes on her, regarding her carefully, but she refused to meet his eyes.
“You are so pretty.”
She smiled politely. “Thank you.”
“I mean that.” He leaned into her. “You’re so ... I don’t know, simply glowing.”
“Perhaps because I’m...” She wanted to say pregnant, but at the last moment bit her tongue. “... happy,” she finished.
“You are?”
She laughed. “You sound so doubtful about this.”
“No, no,” he contradicted hastily, “It’s just the guy you married...” he began hesitantly, “He doesn’t seem to be your type.”
“Why are you saying this? You don’t know him,” she managed to keep her voice calm.
“No, I don’t know him, but I do know you and...”
She interrupted him, “You do?”
It was his turn to laugh, though it came a bit unnaturally. “Sure I do, and from what I heard about him from your stepmother for example... he doesn’t suit you.”
“Why shouldn’t he suit me, as you put it?” she asked, looking up at him with a smile, her eyes twinkling, “He’s handsome, successful, responsible, tender, loving, and perfectly able to provide for a family. He cares for me, and every single day shows me that I’m the most important person in his life, and that nothing makes sense to him without me by his side. I know he would do anything for me. Believe me, it would be heady stuff for any single woman.”
Amy didn’t care to glance at Michael to see his reaction to her words, but she couldn’t help a small smile when a very long moment later he asked in a higher than usual, unnatural voice. “How did you meet?”
“Oh, actually, I’d known him long before I met you.”
Michael frowned. “You never mentioned him to me.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t tell you about all the people I knew. Why should I?” she asked, unable to hide her irritation any more. “Besides he’s older than me, older than you as a matter of fact. For years I treated him more like my father’s friend, his business partner, rather than anything else.”
“But it changed,” he guessed, “Why?”
She smiled over the rim of her paper cup, speaking quietly. “Because he made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse.”
“He did?”
“Yes.” Amy stood up and threw the empty paper coffee cup into the garbage can. “Look, I really have to go. I’ve still got lots of work to do before I go home.”
“Wait!” He grabbed her hand. “When can I see you again?”
Amy frowned. “Again?” She winced inwardly hearing how cold and impassionate her voice sounded. “What for?” she added more gently.
“What do you mean, what for?” he asked incredulously.
“Michael, there’s absolutely no point to this.” She freed her hand from his, “We have separate lives now. We have met and talked and it’s been very nice to see you again after so many years, but I really don’t have time for anything else.” She gave him a friendly smile and was about to walk away, when he caught her hand, again.
He stood up in front of her and studied her carefully with a heavy frown. “You’re so different,” he said as he searched her face. “You have changed so much.”
“Yes, I have changed,” she agreed calmly. “You said yourself that people do change, and mature.” She smiled at him a last time, “Look, I really have to go. It’s been nice seeing you. I wish you the very best luck in everything, in your marriage and work,” she said sincerely, and walked away without turning to look back at him even once.
* * * *
When she came back to the library, she found it hard to focus on her work, her thoughts stubbornly returning to her unexpected meeting with Michael. Had she been actually head over heels in love with that guy? Had it been the same man, who had broken her heart, the man who, for years, she’d longed? Good God, she had been dense to ever consider him something special. He was so irritating, shallow, immature, and boring. His wife was a poor woman.
It was as if her eyes suddenly had been forcefully opened, and she’d seen everything clearer.
She did her best to finish what she had planned for today and then rushed out of the library. She stopped by the grocery store and bought a bottle of red wine and fresh flowers. She felt in the mood to prepare a special surprise dinner for Jake, having in mind, making all his favorites.
Once at home, she began cooking, and when the situation in the kitchen was under control, she went to her bedroom to make herself more presentable. She decided to put on the dress he’d bought for her. It was actually the first time she would wear it and she thought it was perfect for the occasion. She doubted she would have dared to wear it somewhere in public, because she felt more undressed than dressed in it. She didn’t feel comfortable enough to show so much of her skin, knowing that her body was a far cry from supermodel standard.
The dress was elegant and the material was beautiful, a deep red. But it was much too short for her taste, showing off a large expense of her fleshy rounded thighs. Plus her arms were entirely uncovered. She pinned her hair up, in an elegant twist, and applied a stronger than usual style in make-up, especially enhancing her eyes, to her satisfaction, giving them a smoky look.
When Jake entered the condo some time later, there were candles and flowers on the table, soft music in the background and the dinner was almost ready.
He stood in the middle of the living room and stared at her, while she was putting the finishing touches to the table. He looked tired and weary. There were deep lines on his face, and dark circles under his eyes, beard stubble gracing his cheeks.
“What’s the occasion?” he asked, clearly dumbfounded.
“Does it have to be a special
occasion?” she asked with a smile, and lifted onto her toes to kiss his cheek.
“But it’s not my birthday,” he said, letting her take off his jacket and remove his tie.
Amy only smiled, and pushed him gently towards the bedroom, saying. “Go and wash your hands. I have all your favorites on the table.”
He returned ten minutes later, refreshed and sat down in the place of honor at the head of the table. “Tell me what’s wrong? I’m getting worried.”
Amy’s face saddened visibly. “Have I treated you so badly so far that you can’t even expect a special dinner from time to time?”
“Of course not, but still... All this,” he gestured at the flowers and candles on the table, ending on her dress. “I know you, Amy.” He paused, regarding her carefully, “Something had to happen.” Then his face brightened. “I know, what’s the occasion!” He presented a huge ear to ear grin. “You’re pregnant!” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. Before she knew it she was in his arms, crushed against him.
“No, it’s not that,” she said and pushed at his chest gently.
“You’re not pregnant,” he whispered. There was a raw, tangible disappointment in his voice and expression.
“Well, I’m not sure yet,” she hesitated, “I may be. I missed my period, you know.”
“Yes, I know.” He sat back on the chair, but didn’t release his hold on her. She stood in front of him. “It should have come some three weeks ago.”
She gaped down at him. “You know when I should start my period? You really remember such things?”
He gave her a look saying that it was completely natural for him to remember it.
“I will do the test tomorrow,” she promised.
“Perhaps, it’s better to make an appointment with your doctor,” he suggested gently.
She shook her head stubbornly. “I prefer to do the test first.”
“Ok.”
“But don’t get your hopes up too high,” she warned him seriously, “I am usually regular, so I shouldn’t be so late. But I don’t have any other typical symptoms for early pregnancy like nausea or...”
“Yes, you have,” he interrupted.
“Excuse me?”
“You have symptoms typical for early pregnancy,” he repeated patiently.
“I have?”
“Yes,” he said and without a word of warning, he pushed the thin straps of her dress aside. The loose fitting bodice fell down, exposing her bare breasts. “See,” he gently cupped one breast, rubbing the tip with his thumb. “They’re swollen, bigger and the nipples are darker.”
She frowned down at her chest. “I haven’t noticed.”
“Well, I have. Aren’t they more tender?”
“Yes, they are, but it’s nothing unusual. They are often tender.”
He kissed the underside of one breast, before pulling the bodice back in place, covering her. “So what’s the occasion then, if it’s not pregnancy?”
“There’s really no occasion,” she said, settling herself on his lap. “I met someone today, and this meeting helped me to realize how lucky I am to have you, and how blind and ungrateful I’ve been not to see it before.”
He frowned. “I don’t understand.”
She rested her head on his shoulder, speaking softly. “I just want you to know that I’m very happy that I’m with you. And I want everything to work between us.”
He didn’t speak for a long moment before his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her more tightly to him. “Come here,” he murmured thickly.
“Everything is perfectly all right,” he whispered, while she clung to him.
“Has someone frightened you today?” He cupped her face to look into her eyes. “You behave as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
“A ghost?” She laughed, but then sobered. “Perhaps I did. Simply, I saw today how my life could have been if some things had gone differently and if I hadn’t married you. And I didn’t like this vision, not in the least.” She clung to him again.
“Baby, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her hair. “Now, what about those favorites of mine?” he said and nudged her playfully. “I’m really hungry.”
Amy slipped from his lap to her feet, kissed his cheek and walked to the kitchen, her high heel pumps clicking on the hardwood floor.
Jake ate with appetite, but she could see that his eyes were closing on their own will. It was good it was Friday and he could sleep in tomorrow. She would see that he wouldn’t go to the office tomorrow to deal with some urgent matter.
When she noticed that he was just nibbling at the desert, even though it was his favorite cheesecake that she’d baked herself, she decided it was high time to put him to bed.
“Come.” She stood up, taking his hand and dragging him from the chair. “I’ll prepare you a warm bath before bed.”
He didn’t object, when she led him to the bathroom and ordered him to disrobe, at the same time drawing the water into the bathtub, adding relaxing salts.
When the bath was ready, he obediently climbed into comfortably warm water. Amy smiled to herself. Her bathtub was too small for him, and he looked rather crowded, his knees bent out of necessity. In the new house, in the bathroom next to their bedroom they had a large corner tub which could fit both of them.
Mindful not to ruin her dress she reached for a shampoo to wash his hair, massaging his scalp. His eyes closed and he murmured appreciatively.
“You’ll be all right?” she asked, washing the suds from his hair.
He nodded, not opening his eyes.
“Don’t stay here too long,” she said, walking out of the bathroom.
It took her a while to clean up the table and put the kitchen in order. On returning to the bedroom, she saw him splayed on the bed, buried under the covers, and sleeping soundly.
Having taken off her dress carefully, she hung it back up in the closet. She removed her make-up, brushed her teeth, and donned a comfortable cotton nightdress. With a tired but happy sigh, she slipped under the covers, cuddling to his side. Instantly a heavy arm draped over her, pulling her close.
“I’m so pathetic,” he murmured.
“You are?”
“Yes, I am,” he brought her even closer, his head resting on her shoulder, “And I owe you an apology.”
Amy stroked gently his still damp hair. “You do?”
“Sure. My wife welcomes me home all dressed up especially for me and sexy as hell... And I am too tired to shag her senseless,” he whispered against her neck on a yawn.
Amy laughed, and reached to her left to turn off the bedside lamp, whispering into the darkness. “Go to sleep you pathetic creature.” She kissed his forehead. “We have the entire weekend for you to shag me senseless.”
But he probably didn’t hear her, as he was already snoring softly into her ear.
Chapter Eighteen
Amy maneuvered her small car into the parking lot under her building. She was happy to see that her usual parking place was unoccupied. That was, perhaps, the last time she would do that, she realized. All the furniture from her condo that she’d decided to take with her had been already moved into the new house, as well as, her books and most of the clothes. There were a couple of boxes left, but they would take them with them tomorrow morning, because it happened to be the actual last night that they would spend in her old apartment.
She climbed out of the car and moved to open the trunk. It was stocked with various groceries. She’d figured out it would be for the best to buy all of the food today, so they wouldn’t be bothered with it later during the weekend. Tomorrow she would simply fill the fridge in the new house with what she’d bought today. She decided to take upstairs only the products which would serve to prepare today’s dinner, plus the ones which needed to be stored in the fridge through the night. The rest could wait till tomorrow.
The bags she took weren’t very heavy. Now that the doctor had confirmed her pregnancy, she started to really look after he
rself. She took precautions, trying not to tire herself too much. Not that Jake would ever allow her to exert herself anyway.
Jake was over the moon with the news about the baby, to say the least. They knew for nearly two weeks now. When she’d opened her eyes the morning after she’d talked with Michael in the park, the pregnancy test had been already waiting on the bedside. Jake sat beside her, completely dressed, which suggested that he’d gone to buy it first thing after getting up himself.
She’d taken it and gone straight to the bathroom to follow the directions to perform the test. While she’d waited for the blue line to show, she yelled at Jake to stop pacing on the other side of the door. He was making her nervous.
At last, the blue line had appeared on the dipstick. She’d opened the door and put it just under Jake’s nose. To say that he had been ecstatic was a gross underestimation. She believed that he would have carried her around in his arms all day long if he could have and if she had allowed him this.
On Tuesday, he’d insisted on accompanying her to the doctor’s office. He’d cleared all his meetings for the day, to be with her when the obstetrician had confirmed her to be six weeks pregnant. He’d actually started thanking the doctor, who only smiled politely and pointed out that his wife’s condition hadn’t been to his credit. Amy grabbed the overly enthusiastic father-to-be from the doctor’s office, before he made a complete fool out of himself.
It was strange but since the pregnancy had been confirmed officially, the symptoms, which she had lacked previously, appeared all at once. She was tired, sleepy and almost every day suffered from morning sickness. The tenderness in her breasts had increased so much that she couldn’t even stand when Jake touched her. She was reduced to sleeping on her back, though it wasn’t her usual position.
One morning she’d felt so sick that she actually had been forced to phone the library to say she’d be in to work late. She’d sat on the tiled bathroom floor, conveniently close enough to the toilet bowl. She’d waited for the next wave of nausea to come and make her empty the contents of her stomach. She’d felt too weary and inhuman to even protest Jake’s ranting at that moment. He’d sat beside her on the floor, and kept repeating over and over, again, that she should quit her job immediately, and stay home until the baby started kindergarten.
