Reunited by Their Pregnancy Surprise

by Louisa Heaton

‘Right.’

  ‘It’s usually temporary, which is the good thing—though I have to warn you, of course, that not everyone will experience it that way. Sam may be unlucky. We have no way of knowing for sure into which camp Sam will fall.’

  ‘But if it is temporary…is there anything we can do to try and help the memories come back?’

  Dr Penn nodded. ‘It can help to try and provoke those memories. Show Sam familiar things—photos, videos, possessions, favourite foods, smells, clothing. Anything and everything that might help the memories come back.’

  ‘Places? Like if I took him to where we got married or our favourite restaurant?’

  ‘Anywhere he can be immersed for as long as possible should help. Usually it’s not just one item that makes memories return but a drowning in overall sensation—place, aroma, sounds, people. All of it at once. Like déjà-vu.’

  Sam spoke up. ‘So if I went home…that might do it?’

  ‘It could, but I can’t promise anything. Memories can take days or even weeks to return.’ He swallowed. ‘Maybe longer.’

  ‘And would they all come back straight away?’

  ‘It’s different for everyone.’

  Sam squeezed her hand. ‘So can I go home?’

  Dr Penn shook his head. ‘Not straight away. I know you didn’t suffer any broken bones or organ damage, but you did have a nasty hit to the head and you had a stent fitted to drain fluid. We need to monitor you for a while yet, and if you manage to stay stable, with no spikes of temperature or complications, and physio goes well, then maybe we’ll look at letting you go.’ He smiled. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another patient to attend to.’

  They watched the doctor disappear and Emily turned to Sam, aware that they were still holding hands. It was nice. It had been a long time since he had held her like that and she hated how much she needed his touch to reassure her. She didn’t want to let him go. She never had.

  ‘How are you feeling, Sam? After all that?’

  ‘It’s a lot to take in. But I guess I ought to look on the bright side.’

  She frowned. ‘Bright side?’

  He nodded. ‘Yes. I know who I am. I know who you are. I still have all the knowledge that lets me be an OB/GYN. I can still work—eventually.’ He waited until she looked him fully in the eyes. ‘I know how much I love you.’

  She swallowed and smiled, trying to still the beating of her heart. It was running away with joy at his words. For how long had she yearned to hear those simple words from Sam?

  But there’s still so much you don’t know!

  Could she truly revel in those three simple words? He’d said he loved her, but he still didn’t know the truth of their marriage.

  He’d hurt her. She’d felt so rejected, so forgotten as Sam had stayed at work, or gone to fundraising galas without her, or disappeared to play tennis with his lawyer. All those arguments they’d had…all those harsh words they’d said to each other out of spite or desperation. How could she forget all they had gone through?

  He had. Completely. Right now he was unaware of it all.

  But she…? She remembered it all too well. Every argument was a scar upon her heart.

  He was trying to be positive. She could see that. Feel that. Should she burst his bubble now? Tell him about the baby?

  He needed to know. Needed to hear the truth so that he could be in full possession of the facts. The facts he needed, anyway.

  ‘There’s something more, Sam.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘You’re not going to like it.’

  He smiled. ‘Let me be the judge of that.’

  His smile twanged her heartstrings. It was so familiar! Held so much of that gorgeous cheeky charm that she’d fallen in love with!

  But she knew. Knew Sam didn’t want a baby. He wasn’t ready for one after being married for eighteen months. Why would he feel ready for one when he’d thought they weren’t even married?

  ‘They…did some tests on me after the accident. Blood tests.’

  He nodded, frowning. ‘Go on.’

  ‘They found something.’

  His face filled with concern and she could imagine what he was thinking. Cancer. A mass. A shadow. Some disease…

  ‘What did they find?’

  She searched his face, knowing the response he would give, knowing how his face would crumple at hearing the news, not sure if she could bear the way he would drop all contact with her, let go of the hand that he was clutching so tight. Be angry with her again just as she’d started to enjoy the way he held her hand, the way he’d smiled at her before he started to learn the truth.

  She’d missed him. So much!

  But he’d made it clear he didn’t want a baby with her, so telling him this was the hardest thing she would ever have to do. It might end them. But she had no choice.

  ‘They found…’ She paused, swallowing hard, ‘I’m pregnant, Sam. I’m having our baby.’

  *

  He knew he was staring at her, but he couldn’t stop. She was…pregnant?

  Images of Serena instantly flooded his brain and he blinked them away. No. He would not think of her. That was all too raw, still. Because even though many years had passed he’d pushed away what had happened and stamped it down low.

  Pregnant. Pregnant! Emily. His fiancée. No. That was wrong—Emily was now apparently his wife. For almost two years. And she was having a—

  He swallowed hard.

  He loved this woman. He loved her so much! He should be pleased. But the way she was looking at him right now… Like she was frightened of his response? Like she was expecting him to start stamping around the room, or throwing things, or—

  Sam knew what he ought to do. He should smile, say that it was great news, pretend that he was thrilled, but…

  I’m going to be a father. I’m going to be…a father!

  Surely she knew how he felt about this? What had happened to Serena had almost destroyed him. How had they been so careless?

  Tentacles of fear wrapped themselves around him and tried to suck him down into that deep, dark well of pain he’d kept hidden for so long. Having that kind of responsibility, having to be the one to take care of a young baby every day, was just so…

  His heart thudded in his chest so loudly he thought he could hear it in his ears. His skin grew hot, clammy, and he could feel the beginning of the shakes. My body…it’s surging with adrenaline… The last time he’d felt this way had been after they’d found Serena…

  Sam blinked slowly. Emily was still waiting for his reaction, and though the idea of becoming a father terrified him he loved her so much he just knew he couldn’t let her see it. Couldn’t let her see his inadequacies. Couldn’t let her see his Achilles’ heel. She would think him an absolute monster if he started on her about this, and both of them had been through too much just lately. His true reaction would have to wait. Maybe when he was out of hospital they could talk sensibly about this.

  So he managed to let out a breath and grasped her fingers tightly. ‘You’re pregnant? Emily…that’s so…’ he forced the word, trying to make it sound authentic ‘…amazing!’

  And he pulled her into his arms and clasped her tightly, breathing in the delicious scent of her honey hair and closing his eyes with such intense pain in his heart, hoping that she could not sense his betrayal.

  He felt her relax and sink into him, gasping with relief.

  *

  ‘You mean it? You’re happy?’ Emily pulled back to search his face, her own riddled with tears, unable to believe that this was true. But true it was. Because Sam was nodding and smiling and happy. And somehow this Sam—this version of Sam who had believed it was two years earlier and they were newly engaged—seemed happy at the idea of becoming a father!

  And if he’s happy then…maybe we can be happy too?

  She kissed his face without thinking, clutching it with hands that were trembling. She’d been about to leave him! She’d almost packed her things
. Had written him that letter. They’d crashed their car arguing over this. It was unbelievable.

  His reaction, though welcome, was startling. Now the relief of telling him about the baby had passed without bad incident she began to feel pangs of doubt.

  ‘Of course I mean it. How could I not?’ He swallowed. ‘How far along are you?’ he asked, with real curiosity.

  She smiled, almost shyly, amazed that she was getting to talk to him about this. Normally! Without him throwing a fit and storming out! ‘About nine weeks, I think.’

  ‘Nine weeks…’ He looked up at her and smiled broadly once again. ‘Still in the first trimester? I guess we really ought not to tell anyone yet.’

  ‘You could tell your family if you want to.’

  Sam shook his head. ‘No, I…I think it’s best we wait until you’re in the fourth month.’

  ‘Okay. Whatever you think is best. I’m so glad you’re happy about this. I thought—’

  ‘Thought what?’

  She shook her head, as if her answer had been too silly to contemplate. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  This truly was an opportunity, Emily thought, for them to save their marriage. Sam loved her. He seemed happy to be a father. Was there any need to tell him what their relationship had really been like? This might be a chance for Emily to wipe their slates clean and start again.

  Although it wouldn’t be a totally fresh start. Because for her the upset of the last few weeks and months was still there. Just because Sam didn’t know, it didn’t mean that she’d forget too. But it might be a start. A way to save them, built on who they had been in the beginning of their relationship. In love. Supporting each other’s hopes and dreams. There had been no need for her to get the suitcase out of the closet.

  And what harm could it do? They’d nearly separated, but now…? Now things seemed to have changed. Sam seemed happy about the baby, despite everything, and that was what she’d wanted the most. She’d been granted her wish—only a fool would throw it all away now. She’d been desperate before, when she’d been on the verge of leaving him. But now she was being presented with a second chance.

  And, yes, his memories might come back to him and cause them problems later, but what if they didn’t? And if they did—well, Sam was happy to be a dad right now. If they both worked really hard on their relationship, then surely all that was in the past…could be washed under the bridge?

  This was a second chance for them, and for the sake of their unborn baby Emily was prepared to risk it.

  She’d always fought for their marriage. Had tried everything to save it. What was one last secret?

  *

  The second Emily left his hospital room to head home for the night Sam slumped back against his pillows, exhausted.

  A baby…

  It was such a huge responsibility. For years. A lifetime. And the weight of that responsibility was not something he thought he could bear.

  What had he been thinking, getting Emily pregnant? Had they not been using protection? How had he allowed himself this colossal mistake?

  He couldn’t be a good father. Hadn’t he proved himself incapable of looking after a baby? That was why being an OB/GYN was so beautiful. He could keep babies safe at work. Get them through their nine months of gestation as safely and healthily as possible and then make sure that the mother delivered her child without problems.

  At the hospital he had a team. He was supported. He had the most recent advancements, tests and medications at his fingertips. Was able to experience joy with the family as he brought new life into the world. Holding a newborn baby…there was nothing in the world like it. It was a privilege. Magical. A brand-new person and he would be the first one to hold it, before he delivered it into the hands of its parents. The elation, the thrill in the room could not be surpassed. And then, once the umbilical cord was clamped and cut, Sam’s job—Sam’s responsibility—was over. He could relax. Let go.

  Sam loved delivering babies. Hadn’t he wanted to do that for so long? Hadn’t he delighted in the miracle of birth so much he had made it his vocation? Deciding that because he hadn’t been able to save Serena he could save others?

  But after the birth?

  No. That was when it could all go wrong. It was why he’d interviewed and hired the best, most elite team of neonatologists and paediatricians for aftercare at his Monterey centre.

  He’d vowed never to put himself in that position again, and when he’d first met Emily he’d thought he’d found someone just like him. Someone who loved delivering babies but who didn’t want one of their own.

  Wasn’t that what she’d said? Early on? He felt sure that she had. He had a blurry recollection of it.

  They’d met in a delivery room. Their eyes meeting across a crowded stirrup. Em had been working as a private midwife and had brought in a couple whose home birth plan had gone awry. As the OB/GYN on call, he’d gone to the room to assist with a Ventouse delivery and had been physically struck by the sight of her beside her patient, clutching the mother’s hand through each contraction, coaching her, intently focused on her.

  He recalled a brief moment of wondering who this beautiful new midwife was before he’d got to work, and once the baby had arrived—safely, of course—he had left the room. Only for her to follow him outside and thank him.

  I stared at her.

  He smiled at the memory. He’d literally been struck dumb. Unable to speak. Her blonde hair had been messy, her cheeks rosy, and she’d been wearing these crazy dangly earrings with turquoise stones that almost matched her eyes. And she’d been wearing flats, so she’d seemed only as tall as his shoulders, and he could remember thinking that she was like an elf.

  Eventually he’d managed to get his tongue and mouth to form simple words. ‘You did a great job in there.’

  ‘Me? No, it was nothing to do with me. You did all the work.’

  ‘Well, it’s my job.’

  ‘Yes.’ She’d stared back at him as if she’d been trying to work something out in her head. ‘I love having babies.’

  He’d frowned. ‘You have children of your own?’

  She’d shaken her head, as if realising she’d said something that she shouldn’t. ‘No! God, no! I don’t want any yet.’

  He’d smiled, intrigued. He’d wanted to know more about her. Wanted to see her.

  His only focus had been to be with her. To soak her up. They’d had such fun together, shared so many likes and opinions.

  It had been easy to get carried away in the whirlwind.

  CHAPTER THREE

  THE NEXT DAY a young man called Matt came to Sam’s room to help him ‘mobilise’. He was in the middle of trying not to feel too dizzy and light-headed after standing up for the first time when Emily came into his room.

  His heart soared at seeing her, despite all his dark thoughts the previous night. She looked fresh and bright, a bohemian chic angel, as if she’d had a really good night’s sleep, and she developed a huge smile on her face when she saw him standing up, holding onto a walker.

  ‘You’re up!’

  ‘Not for long.’ Sam collapsed down onto the bed and let out a heavy breath, clutching his head as if to steady it.

  Matt cocked his head to one side. ‘Dizzy?’

  ‘Yeah, a little.’

  ‘It’ll pass if you take it easy. Try this: whilst you’re sitting down, really push your feet into the floor and flex and release your calf muscles. It’ll help pump the blood around your system and prevent a blood pressure drop next time you stand.’

  Emily stood by his side and hesitantly laid a supportive hand upon his shoulder. She smelt minty fresh and was wearing a perfume he didn’t recognise, but liked.

  He looked up at her, expecting her to kiss him hello, but she didn’t. Because of Matt’s presence? It seemed unlikely. But now that she was here he wanted to show her what he could do. Show her that he was going to get stronger every day. He wanted to be back on his feet. He wanted to be up and about agai
n. Working. Being Sam. He hated being stuck in a hospital bed.

  Gripping the walker once again, Sam stood. Slower this time. He took a moment to make sure the dizziness wasn’t about to make him collapse onto the floor and then pushed the walker to one side and took a step forward. Matt stood close, ready to steady him if needed.

  Who knew lying on your back for ten days after a head injury would make you feel as weak as a baby bird? After just a few steps he was ready to sit down, but Sam was determined to push through. He kept going. Made it across the room, out of the door to the nurses’ station and back again. By the time he got back to his bed he was exhausted, sweating as if he’d just done a full day’s training in the gym, and he sank back onto the mattress with a broad grin on his face.

  Matt smiled. ‘So…you’re one of those people.’

  Sam raised an eyebrow in question.

  ‘Type A. High achiever. It’s good, but you also need to know when to stop.’

  Emily sat beside him on the bed and passed him a towel to freshen up with. ‘He’s always pushed himself and strived for the best.’

  ‘Yes, well, just keep an eye on that blood pressure. It won’t always be as low as it was about five minutes ago.’

  ‘I’m fine, Matt. Honestly. I won’t stop pushing until I’m in my own home.’

  Matt nodded. ‘And probably not even then. I’ll come back later, after your evening meal, and we’ll do some more. In the meantime, rest. You’re allowed to get up to use the bathroom only.’ Matt saluted him and walked away.

  Emily peered into his eyes. ‘Do you remember home?’

  Sam looked at her, tempted just to ignore the question and kiss her. Having her this close to him, smelling as good as she did, looking as beautiful as she did…

  He reached up and tucked a strand of her choppy blonde hair behind her ear. ‘Are we still in the apartment? The two-bedroom place with the sliding doors out onto the balcony? View across the city?’

  He could picture that quite clearly. It wasn’t a problem. He very much wanted to get back there.

  But the slump in Emily’s shoulders informed him that it wasn’t the right answer. ‘No. We don’t live there any more.’