Ensenada Escapade: Destination: Desire, Book 6

by Crystal Jordan

  She loved it.

  A wide grin had curled her lips by the time Ben returned, the other woman having presumably disappeared out the back door. He smiled back, flashing that dimple. “You like it. Good.”

  “Seriously? We get the whole house?”

  “The whole house.” He held up a key ring and jangled it a bit. “I called the owners while you were sleeping and it happened to be free for the night, which is nothing short of miraculous, so I took it as a sign we should stop.”

  “Awesome.”

  “There are two bedrooms upstairs, one with a couple of twin beds, the other with a couple of double beds. The master is downstairs and has a king.”

  “A king? Such luxury. I don’t even have that at home.” She tapped her chest. “Queen size.”

  “Really? Then you definitely get the master tonight.” He slid a hand in his pocket. “Whether you decide to share it with me is up to you.”

  “No pressure, huh?” She liked that. There was very little doubt in her mind that he’d get an invite to share the big bed, but she appreciated that he’d given her a graceful way out if she wanted to take it.

  “None,” he insisted, his gaze serious. Then his expression lightened. “There’s also a bonus room upstairs with a TV and chairs made out of surfboards.”

  “Oh, I need to see that.”

  “Let me give you a tour.” He dropped his bag at the foot of the stairs, but kept walking toward the back of the house. She followed suit, leaving her bag, and then found herself in a pale blue kitchen. He led her through a dining room with a fireplace, into a spacious bathroom, upstairs to the spare bedrooms, and into the surfboard chairs room. The white-and-blue color scheme continued throughout the home.

  “It’s beautiful.” And huge for two people for one night. “I don’t even want to ask how much it cost, but I’m guessing it would break my piggy bank.”

  He glanced back at her as they clomped down the steps. “It’s okay to splurge occasionally.”

  Once she hit the ground level she walked around the living room to look out the windows. “We’re a frugal family. We had to be, with Mom so often out of work. She never managed to hold down employment for more than a few months at a time, always certain something else was her true calling. Anne had two jobs to help us make ends meet until Hazel, Cami and I were old enough to get after-school jobs and share the load. I don’t ever want to live hand to mouth again.”

  His brow furrowed as he came to stand beside her. “There’s a big age gap between Anne and the rest of you. Ten or eleven years, right?”

  “The gap between Karen and you is just as big,” she pointed out.

  “True. My parents had fertility issues.” He bumped her shoulder with his. “What’s your parents’ excuse? You, Cami and Hazel are stairstep children.”

  She tried to smile, but it felt tight and unnatural. “My parents split up, had joint custody of Anne, and…honestly, I think Dad took Mom back to give his daughter a more stable home life. I suspect Mom got pregnant with the rest of us to make sure he never got it into his head to leave her again. Yes, she’s really so codependent she can’t live without someone to support her. Emotionally and financially.” She gave a laugh, the sound far more bitter than she’d intended. “So, she didn’t really want us, and it always showed. She loved us in her way, but that’s not the same as loving a child you were excited to have. We were a means to an end for her.”

  “I’m sorry.” He put an arm around her. “I knew about her codependence and how she mooched off of Anne after your dad died and was no longer moochable.”

  “Thank God for Anne,” she said fervently. “I try to make sure she knows how grateful I am for all the sacrifices she made so that we three girls could have a normalish childhood, but it’s not enough.”

  He squeezed her against his side, his tone gently teasing, “And she doesn’t really let you thank her because she’s a Kirby and thus can’t take a compliment to save her life.”

  A direct hit. She wrinkled her nose. “You do what you have to do for the people you love, and you don’t expect them to grovel in gratitude for it.”

  “Like Anne supporting her family for a decade, and you with Hazel this week.” His eyes widened. “Oh, and you with Cami when she got into that car accident.”

  “Shut up, Hudson.”

  “Sure.” He pulled her into his embrace, stopping any further conversation with his lips.

  Now there was a way to end an argument that she could get on board with. She slipped her fingers into his silky hair, feeling the slight burn of his stubble scraping over her skin as he changed the angle of the kiss. Their tongues tangled, and he slipped his hands down her back to cup her ass. She arched into him, rubbing her breasts across his chest. Excitement twisted within her, the sharp build of desire that was becoming familiar, addicting.

  Breaking the kiss, he staggered back a few steps, breathing hard. “You’re a dangerous woman, Nora Kirby. I intended to keep my hands to myself at least until after dinner.”

  “Carbing up. Good idea.” She glanced at the bright, early afternoon sunshine. “We haven’t had lunch yet though.”

  “Exactly.” He nodded firmly, taking another step away from her, as if she was too much temptation from this close. “I want to prove that we can be in the same space, when there’s no crisis, without arguing or sexing it up.”

  No sex. What? She crossed her arms. “I’m not sure I like this plan.”

  “I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise.” He offered up a winning smile. “If you decide to share your room with me.”

  “This no sexing it up rule has to go.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a piece of meat, Kirby. Plus, we’re going out. I like getting laid as much as the next guy, but I do draw the line at getting arrested for public indecency.”

  “Bad for a lawyer’s rep, huh?” She made her tone overly sympathetic, and he rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. Just to yank his chain a bit more, she added, “We’re doing really well at this not arguing thing.”

  He dropped his arm and glared at her. “I’m doing my part. You could help me out.”

  Okay, his tone annoyed her. She lifted her chin. “Like you’ve done to me all these years? What, don’t you enjoy antagonism?”

  His attitude level cranked down a notch and he had the grace to look sheepish, though still a little aggrieved. “You have a point, but I’m trying to do better.”

  “You’ve been remarkably less obnoxious the last couple of days,” she conceded. “But we were either in the middle of an emergency or in the middle of nookie, and you wouldn’t have gotten the second if you’d been an ass for the first.”

  Sighing, he rolled his shoulders like he was trying to relieve the tension there. “Would it help if I apologized for being such a dick to you back in junior high? I had a huge crush on you then, but I didn’t know how to show it without acting like a world-class moron.”

  Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. In truth, she had no idea what to say. He’d been an ass because he liked her? It was the worst kind of cliché—she wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Or maybe punch him for making her tween life miserable as often as he could. And he’d actually had a crush on her?

  “What about all the years since middle school? You’ve continued with the same sort of behavior. Not quite as bad, I admit, but you’ve never exactly been nice to me.” She held up a hand. “Not counting the last couple of days.”

  “I know you’d like me to apologize for antagonizing you, but I won’t because I’m not sorry.” His jaw set mulishly, but something in his gaze looked…worried? Scared? “While it wasn’t the most mature thing I’ve ever done, it was the only way I could get you to stop giving me the silent treatment. Plus, you go off like a firecracker at the slightest provocation from me, which I find incredibly hot. You can h
ate me for that if you want to…but I hope you don’t.”

  “Did you ever think about maybe being nice to me?” She kept her tone as even as she could, not wanting to attack, but not sure how on earth he’d decided nastiness was the right approach.

  “Yes. You ignored me.” His lips twisted in a bitter smile. “The fact that you don’t even remember my effort says it all, doesn’t it?”

  “Your singular effort?” She shook her head, her thoughts spinning, not sure how to process everything he’d thrown at her. “Didn’t it ever occur to you that I had every right to ignore someone who’d treated me badly in the past? I was forced to take enough crap from my mother growing up, why should I have to put up with it from you? Not just once, but for years. Why didn’t you just leave me alone?”

  “Because I never got over you, damn it!” he snapped. His eyes went wide as if he’d stunned himself as much as her. Sucking in a breath, he ran trembling hands through his hair, leaving furrows behind. “Because I needed your attention and that was the only way I could get it. And, yes, I realize exactly how childish and stupid that sounds. I tried to stop myself a million times, but every time you were near some part of me just had to engage. I just…needed you to see me.” He released a shaky breath. “I feel like the last couple of days have been the first time ever that you’ve really seen the man I grew into and not some shithead tween.”

  She rocked back on her heels, so many feelings careening around inside her that she couldn’t even think. Disbelief, anger, shock, hurt, and something a lot sweeter than all of those emotions. She pressed a hand between her breasts. “I…I don’t even know what to say. I’m going to need some time to consider all of this before I can give you a real reaction.” Tears welled in her eyes, but even she wasn’t sure why. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

  His face became inscrutable. “Okay. The beach is just at the end of Linden Avenue. Or you can walk up the street and check out the shops.”

  Bobbing her head in a nod, she slipped past him and grabbed her purse. “Please…don’t think I’m trying to be mean about—”

  “I won’t,” he replied. A wry smile curled his lips, but pain filled his gaze. “Thanks for being sensitive about my feelings.”

  A choked sound escaped her, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and she fled from this whole confused mess. What scared her the most was that the thought that kept coming back to her was…did he actually see the grown up her or was sleeping with her some kind of teenaged wish fulfillment?

  And why did it matter so much to her that she get an answer to that question?

  He couldn’t have handled that any worse. Maybe if he’d have slapped her too. That might have made it a more shocking delivery, but not by much.

  At least he hadn’t confessed his love for her. Just admitting he’d never gotten over his tween crush had made her expression turn so horrified, he’d almost suspected he’d sprouted horns and a tail.

  So much for his big plan for them to get along, and maybe convince her that their affair could last—should last—for longer than this trip. Ha! That wasn’t going to happen now. Because he was a gigantic idiot who’d spewed all over her with the same level of verbal diarrhea he’d exhibited in junior high. Yep, he was a grown up now.

  It was a wonder he’d ever managed to win a court case.

  After she left for her walk, he’d told himself to go find some lunch, but he hadn’t made it further than the front porch before he decided it wasn’t worth bothering. He couldn’t muster up the appetite to eat. He’d had ideas of taking Nora out to some of his favorite places in town, but…who knew if that would happen? He’d be lucky if she didn’t come back, collect her stuff, and insist on driving straight home. She wasn’t the type to strand him here, but it would be a ride that redefined awkward.

  Shit.

  He sat in the one of the wicker chairs on the porch and stared into space, dissecting every word he’d said, analyzing it as if it were evidence presented in a case. In the end, it didn’t matter what had come out of his mouth—it was how she’d taken it. That was something he wouldn’t know until she came back.

  The squeak of hinges from the front gate brought him back to the present. He turned his head to watch her approach, but didn’t get up to greet her. She looked wary, climbing the porch steps and walking over to stand in front of him.

  “I don’t hate you,” she said.

  “What?” He shook his head. He hadn’t been expecting that to be her opening salvo.

  She twisted the strap on her purse. “Of all the things you said, I thought that might be the one you wanted addressed first, if I hated you for antagonizing me all these years. I don’t hate you.”

  “That’s good…right?”

  “May I sit?” She nodded to the other chair.

  “Of course.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. Was she serious? There was courteous and then there was excruciating politeness. She was hitting the excruciating level.

  She cleared her throat, set her bag on the footstool and sat. “Look, maybe I should hate you. You’ve been an ass many, many times. And having a crush on me isn’t really much of an excuse for your behavior.” She held up a palm when he opened his mouth. “Let me finish. The problem is, I don’t think I have it in me to hate you. You’ve never crossed the line from annoying to anything more sinister. You’ve pushed my buttons, sure, but if I’m honest, I’ve gotten my jabs in too. And you weren’t always the one who started a confrontation. I’m not entirely innocent here.”

  “Thank you. For not hating me.” He forced his muscles to relax. “For the record, I don’t want our contentious relationship to continue when we get home.”

  She flinched a little. “Ah.”

  What did that mean? Jesus. He actually wished he were in court—the stress was easier to handle. He was less worried he’d put his foot in it. “It’s the conflict part I’d like to nix.”

  “I see.” She nibbled her lower lip. “I think you’re living in fantasy land on that one, Ben. We come at every issue from different angles, and there’s probably never going to be a day when I don’t wish I could stick a sock in your big mouth at least once. You can be more than a little pushy.”

  He nodded to concede the point. “Like blackmailing my way into your car.”

  “For example,” she agreed. “But…I’m willing to admit I’ve come to value your no-bullshit attitude. The bluntness bordering on rudeness will probably always annoy me, but you don’t dither or complain when the chips are down. And seeing you go all charming lawyer with the Mexican authorities…it was a side of you I’d never witnessed, and I can appreciate that you’re not necessarily as forthright with everyone as you are with me. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I wanted you to know I’d noticed.”

  “It’s a good thing,” he rushed to assure her. “At work, I have to be so careful about every syllable. There are very few people I’m as blunt with as I am with you. Maybe you never noticed because our mutual acquaintances are also in that very few people category. Those are the ones I trust.”

  “Why would you trust me?” She threw up her hands. “I haven’t been kind to you either. You shouldn’t even like me anymore. God knows I did or said everything I could think of to push you away.”

  “Because you’re a good egg, Kirby. Always have been, always will be.” He let a small laugh escape. “You’re the type of woman who’d drop everything and rush to help someone she cares about. No questions asked, no trying to make them beg for the privilege of your assistance. From planning a baby shower to a rescue road trip to taking weeks off work to nurse a life-altering injury.”

  A becoming blush pinked her cheeks. “I wasn’t like that to you.”

  “But I saw it. I saw you.”

  Her lips pursed. “If I’m honest, I saw you too. Not necessarily that you could be nice to anyone exc
ept your family, but…that there was chemistry between us, that you’d grown into an attractive man. I was uncomfortable with it, repressed it as much as I could, but it was there. Your voice, especially.”

  “My voice?” All right, so he liked having his good qualities extolled as much as the next guy, but that one wasn’t usually on the list.

  She raised her eyes heavenward, as if praying for patience. “You have the kind of voice that could make a girl come on command. Also, dimples. Those aren’t hurting your appeal. I noticed, even before this trip.”

  “I feel like speaking or smiling is taking an unfair advantage somehow.” He had to suppress a guffaw, which surprised him considering how recently he’d been lambasting himself.

  Tapping her lip, she winked. “We could invest in a ball gag. I gotta tell you, that would fulfill some serious fantasies of mine. Not the sexy kind, but I’m flexible.”

  And that did it, he burst out laughing. “I like you, Kirby. A lot.”

  That earned him another blush. “It’s going to take some time to adjust to that idea. Sex is a whole different beast than liking someone personally. I’ve always considered ours a mutual loathing.”

  He folded his arms. “What, you thought this was a hate fuck?”

  “Bam, bluntness.” She gave him A Look. “How am I supposed to answer that without coming across as an asshole? Did I think this was maybe you scoring and scoring a subtle putdown in our little war? No, not really. Have I assumed this was just chemistry gone wild that would burn out pretty quickly because we don’t get along, so what other option would there be? Well, yeah.”

  He waved a hand between them. “This is chemistry that hasn’t managed to burn out in over a decade for me.”

  Leaving it at that, he had to throttle down on the need to tell her they should continue exploring their mutual attraction for as long as it lasted—aka, the rest of their lives. It was better that she figure that part out herself. Pushing her now wouldn’t pay off in the end, and he needed to play this as a long game.

  A buzzing noise came from her purse, and she dug into it for her cell phone. “A message from Hazel. She and Priya are still doing okay. They say to thank you again for the groceries.”