A Very Special Christmas

by Jessica Matthews

  "She'll be so pleased to see you wearing it tonight," Eleanor went on, plainly oblivious to the undercurrents in the room. "What time shall we pick up the two of them?"

  Alex spoke over the mug in his hand. "We're not."

  Jennie's eyes widened, but she didn't say a word.

  "Oh, really, Alex. It's silly to take two cars when we can all fit in one. She'll have to juggle Joshua by herself and in this cold, too."

  "She isn't coming." He looked at Jennie as she spoke, gratified to see his daughter look sheepish before she pushed peas around her plate.

  "Oh, dear. She'll be so disappointed. Joshua isn't sick, is he?"

  "No, Mom. He isn't sick."

  " I don' t understand.''

  Jennie jumped up. "May I be excused?"

  Alex nodded and she fled from the room.

  Eleanor cast a puzzled glance at the door Jennie had run through, then at Alex. "What's wrong with the poor child?"

  "Long story, Mom." He gave her the condensed version, finishing with, "We will straighten this out. Tonight."

  Eleanor nodded as she rose to refill her teacup. "Your plan could backfire."

  That had been Claire's concern, too, but after a few days of politely tiptoeing around Jennie's sensibilities, it was time for action. "I'll risk it."

  "On the other hand, Jennie has been the queen bee far longer than she should have been. You've spoilt her."

  "Gee, thanks, Mom, for not telling me how you felt earlier."

  Eleanor smiled at Alex's sarcasm. "If I had, would you have listened?"

  Alex thought about it. Would he? Probably not, simply because he hadn't had a reason to do so.

  "No matter how badly you want it, Jennie may never come around."

  The thought was too scary to contemplate for longer than a second or two. "I know."

  She slowly nodded before she cleared her throat and spoke briskly. "Yes, well, we're going to think positively. My granddaughter may be stubborn, but she isn't stupid." Her eyes narrowed behind her glasses. "You do realize that once you and Jennie straighten things out, you're not home free. Claire won't be easily convinced that Jennie's experienced a change of heart. She'll need a dose of strong convincing."

  "I know, but I can only go one step at a time, Mom. One step at a time."

  The Thomas Jefferson Elementary School gymnasium was filled to capacity with parents, grandparents and siblings of the students. Alex ushered his mother to a seat, realizing how few of the parents around him had come alone. A good number were divorced, but mothers had brought stepfathers and fathers were accompanied by stepmothers, making him feel like an oddity.

  He wanted Claire at his side, not a stranger. Yet if all went well, he wouldn't sit at the next Christmas pageant with only his mother for company.

  The program was blissfully short—an hour—and later the only part he could recall with any clarity was the ten-minute segment when Jennie had stood on stage. Her costume was the most angelic, in his opinion, and he regretted not bringing his video camera. If Claire couldn't see the show in person, she might have enjoyed seeing the taped version.

  "Thank you for coming," Mrs Kennison, the principal, announced as the last shepherd herded his "sheep" off stage. "We know how busy everyone is this close to Christmas, but we hope you'll stay long enough to enjoy the PTA's cookies and punch in the cafeteria. Have a wonderful holiday and we'll see you next year."

  Alex didn't want cookies or punch, but the people flocked in that direction and he couldn't fight his way out of the pack. "Have you seen Jennie?" he asked Eleanor.

  "No, but I'll watch for her," she replied.

  Before he reached the refreshment line, he noticed Joyce Morris with a small group of people, appearing more relaxed than when he'd seen her in his office. She said something to her companions, then approached him.

  "Hello, Alex. It's good to see you," she said.

  "Same here. How's the arm?"

  She tapped the cast through her sling. "It's fine. I want to thank you for everything the other day."

  "I was glad to help. I assume you haven't had any problems with Rick?"

  "No. If he wants to contact me, he can go through my attorney." She laughed. "I can't believe I feel like a new person. I should have left him ages ago."

  "I'm glad to hear you're happy. I hope everything works out the way you want it." He glanced around the crowd. "Have you seen Jennie?"

  Joyce pointed with her good hand. "She's standing over there, talking to Wendy. Those two girls have been thick as thieves the past few weeks."

  A suspicion began to take root. "They have?"

  "Oh, my. Talking on the phone for hours. When our life settles down, maybe she can spend the night."

  "Yeah, sure. We'll work something out. Merry Christmas."

  He strode toward Jennie and as soon as she saw him, he swore her face paled two shades. "It's time to go."

  "I have to get my coat. It's in my classroom." She bid her friend goodbye, then hurried away.

  On the way home, he listened to his mother's gushing praise of the pageant while he impatiently waited for his showdown.

  "Goodnight, Jennie, dear," Eleanor said as she got out of Alex's car.

  "'Night, Grandma."

  "Hurry inside before you catch cold," she instructed.

  "OK. Bye, Grandma." Jennie hurried to the porch, then called out, "Daddy, Grandma, come and see what someone brought!"

  Alex frowned. "What in the world...?" He bounded up the steps and saw Jennie peering into a large trash sack. "What is it?"

  "There are Christmas presents in here," she said excitedly. "I hope they're ours."

  He didn't know who might have played Santa. "We'll check the tags, but let's go inside where it's warm," he said. The large box was heavier than he'd anticipated and he was equally surprised to recognize Claire's handwriting on the labels.

  "They're from Claire," he said.

  "How nice." Eleanor beamed. "What a wonderful surprise for both of you."

  "Isn't it?" He glanced at Jennie, whose enthusiasm at receiving an unexpected gift had suddenly dimmed. "Put them under the tree and get ready for bed."

  Jennie obeyed without argument.

  As soon as he was alone with Eleanor, she laid a hand on his arm. "Be firm, but not too hard on her."

  He nodded.

  "And you'll let me know how your heart-to-heart turns out?"

  "I will."

  "I'll cross my fingers for a good report."

  "Me, too, Mom. Me, too."

  Claire watched the hours creep by, mentally picturing Alex's and Jennie's activities. At six-thirty, she imagined them arriving at the school. At seven, she saw him in a gym full of parents and heard the hush descend as the pageant began. At seven-thirty, Jennie walked on stage in her angel costume, the gold trim around her neck, sleeves and hem sparkling under the spotlight as she recited her rehearsed lines.

  Joshua would have loved seeing the play, especially seeing his buddy, Jennie. Maybe next year, Claire consoled herself.

  Next year, that was, if Alex with his "full steam ahead" philosophy didn't do more harm than good. She wanted him to succeed, but he couldn't dictate people's acceptance, not even his own daughter's.

  She hoped Jennie would like the gift. If only she could stitch the rift in their relationship as easily as she'd stitched her costume.

  Yet all wasn't lost. Even if things didn't work out, she still had Joshua and she'd regained Christmas. While she'd always remember that last season with Ray, she'd put the fierce sadness completely in the past. She had Alex and Jennie to thank for that.

  Alex perched on the edge of Jennie's bed and studied his daughter. "What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

  She immediately burst into tears and flew across the comforter into his arms. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I didn't mean to be nasty, but I wanted Claire to be a friend, not a stepmom."

  "Why didn't you want her to be your stepmother?"

  "I was scared."


  He patted her back and remembered that Claire had suggested the same thing. "Why? What did Wendy tell you?"

  She sat up. "How did you know about Wendy?"

  "When I saw you two together, I guessed," he said. "So what did she say?"

  "Wendy's mom told her that she needed a husband and Wendy needed a dad. Then, after they got married, she didn't have time for Wendy any more 'cause Mr Morris wanted all of her attention. He was mean to Wendy, too, and when she told me how he hurt her mom's arm, I was afraid the same thing would happen here."

  No wonder she always stated that she didn't need a stepmother. "Oh, honey, everyone's situation doesn't turn out like Wendy's."

  "Yes, it does," she insisted. "The other kids in my class told me how they hate their stepmoms and stepdads. They all wish they could go back to the way things were."

  "Do you really think they're as unhappy as they claim? Callie gets along well with her stepfather and Joey likes his stepmother." He knew because they were his patients. Callie's father was a regular jail resident and Joey's mother was a chronic alcoholic. Both of their stepparents were doing a far better job than their "real'' counterparts.

  She shrugged.

  "In some cases," he continued, "it's easy to look back and see the fantasy of the way it should have been instead of the way it was. As for Claire, you liked her, remember?"

  "People are nice to the kids until they move in. My friends told me that, too. How their moms and dads don't love them like they did before."

  "Oh, Jen. Just because I love Claire doesn't mean I'll love you any less."

  "You say that now, but I don't want my house to be like Wendy's where everyone argues and fights. They're living with her grandma now. I don't want to move. I like my house and my room." She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her blue nightgown.

  "Now, listen to me," he said, pulling her onto his lap. "For one thing, Claire and I aren't going to be like Wendy's mother and stepdad."

  "How do you know?''

  "You'll have to take my word for it."

  "But he hurt her."

  "Yes, he did, and he'll have to answer for that. Are you worried that Claire will hurt me?"

  "Of course not. You're bigger than she is."

  "Then maybe she should worry about me hurting her."

  Jennie frowned. "You wouldn't hurt her. You're too nice."

  "Isn't Claire nice?"

  "Yes, but..." She fell silent.

  "Do you think I'd mistreat Joshua? I'm bigger than he is." '

  "No, Dad. You wouldn't. You're not like Mr Morris."

  "How do you know?"

  "I just do."

  Alex nodded. "It's the same way I know that Claire wouldn't hurt you either. I trust her because I believe she'll be good to all of us."

  "But I don't want to share you with anyone."

  "You aren't the only one sharing," he pointed out. "Josh has to share Claire with us. It works both ways."

  "Oh."

  "I won't promise that we won't have arguments or that you won't have times when you're unhappy with Claire and Josh, but every family suffers through disagreements, even those where the parents stay together."

  "Do you think so?"

  "Of course I do. Grandma and I have gotten into a few lively discussions, but when it's all over, we still love each other."

  "Do you love Claire better than my real mommy?"

  "I loved your mother when I married her, but she chose to leave. Now I love Claire."

  "More than me?"

  "Someday you'll understand there are different ways to love people, but I love you both."

  "She might not love me because of my scar and how I treated her."

  "She doesn't care about your scar," he reassured her. "As for the way you treated her, I think she'd forgive you if you asked."

  She nodded, looking thoughtful. "Maybe we should buy her a Christmas present. Josh, too."

  He couldn't have been happier to hear her mention it. "Any suggestions?"

  "Yeah, but it's sort of expensive. I'll even give you my piggy-bank money if you don't have enough."

  Jennie's offer was a boon he hadn't expected, but it could prove to be the one thing that would convince Claire of Jennie's sincerity. He grinned as he tickled her tummy. "It's a deal."

  Claire cleaned house all day on Christmas Eve and now that night had fallen, carols drifted out of her stereo as she dressed Joshua in his footed pajamas and played with him on the floor in front of their tree. Every now and then Joshua would point to the twinkling lights and exclaim "Pwetty" before he asked about Santa.

  "Santa's coming tonight," she told him. "You can open your presents in the morning."

  "Morning?"

  "After we get up," she said, settling him on her lap in order to read the Christmas story to him.

  The innkeeper had just said he had no more room at his inn when the doorbell rang.

  "Bell," Joshua exclaimed as he clambered to his feet and ran to greet their visitor.

  Wondering who would visit on Christmas Eve, Claire was very surprised to see Alex standing on her porch with a red Santa hat on his head. "Alex!" she exclaimed, feasting her eyes on him. "What are you doing here?"

  "We've come to see if there are any good little boys and girls at this house."

  Suddenly she noticed Jennie half-hidden behind him. She wore a perky elf hat, but her expression was far from perky. The youngster glanced at Claire, then looked down as she dug her hands in her pockets and the toe of her shoe into the floor. Her previous belligerence wasn't evident, but she obviously wasn't excited to be back at Claire's house.

  The thrill of seeing Alex drained away as if someone had pulled the plug in her bathtub of happiness. He'd forced-Jennie to come, plain and simple. Hadn't he realized that she, or any child for that matter, wouldn't respond to such heavy-handed tactics?

  Be that as it may, she couldn't leave them on the porch. Yet as Alex waltzed in with a smile on his face, her blood began to simmer. After sitting at home, fretting and stewing while she cleaned her house until the spiders scurried away in terror, he had a nerve thinking that he could walk in and pretend everything was perfect.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked, conscious of Jennie's awkward demeanor. "You should be at home, like everyone else, letting Jennie open her presents."

  "Santa hasn't brought hers yet," he announced, dropping a large bag at his feet. "The only packages under our tree are the ones you gave us. We decided it would be more fun to open them with you. So here we are."

  From the way Jennie averted her gaze, Claire suspected that Alex meant "I" instead of "we."

  "Do you mind if we take off our coats?" he asked, already shrugging his off his shoulders.

  "No." She took his, then Jennie's, feeling as if she'd lost complete control.

  "Great. Come on, kids. Let's see what's in our bag."

  Joshua and Jennie hurried into the living room, leaving Claire in stunned amazement. She quickly hung their coats in the closet before joining them.

  "Alex," she warned, watching him crouch down in front of the Christmas tree and begin unloading brightly wrapped boxes from his Santa sack.

  He acted as if she hadn't spoken. "Here's one for Joshua. Another for Joshua. One for Jennie. Claire, here's yours and..." he pulled another from his bag "...here's mine."

  "Alex," she said sharply, "could I see you a minute? In the kitchen?"

  He rose. "Jennie, make sure Josh doesn't touch anything until we get back."

  In the kitchen, Claire turned on him. "What is the deal?" she hissed. "You forced Jennie to come, didn't you?"

  "Actually, I didn't."

  "Yeah, right. I have two eyes in my head and I can see just fine. She's miserable. You've ruined her Christmas and—"

  "She's just shy."

  Shy? "Your daughter doesn't have a shy bone in her body."

  He cupped the side of her face. "Tonight she does. Trust me."

  Suddenly, Joshua's howl
and Jennie's "Dad, he's ripping the paper'' interrupted them. Alex kissed her swiftly. "Relax. You worry too much."

  I worry too much? she fumed inside, but she couldn't argue because he was already gone.

  Only because I have a good reason to worry, she mentally added. Alex hadn't shed any helpful light on the situation and now she was forced to crawl through a potential minefield.

  "Are you coming, Claire?" he called. "The natives are restless."

  Succumbing to the inevitable, she squared her shoulders, pasted a smile on her face and re-entered their impromptu gathering.

  "Claire, you get the sofa," Alex commanded as he wiped away the huge tear on Joshua's cheek before he placed him on the floor next to his small pile of packages.

  Jennie sat next to her large box while he took his position near Claire's feet.

  "Here's the plan," he said. "We're going to open them one at a time. Josh is the youngest, so he goes first."

  He didn't need a second urging. The moment he grabbed hold of a package, he poked his finger into a seam and ripped. Jennie helped him take off the lid and he crowed with delight over his new toy trucks, puzzles and driving simulator.

  "Jennie's next," Alex announced.

  Claire watched her reaction with bated breath as the youngster opened her present. Her eyes widened and suddenly she burst into sobs.

  Claire wanted to howl herself. Her idea of giving Jennie something that would cultivate a common interest had bombed. She looked helplessly at Alex and he simply shrugged, as if he, too, was at a loss.

  "Oh, Jennie," Claire said after her sobs turned into hiccups, "if you don't like it, we can take it back. You can choose something else."

  "I don't want to pick something else," Jennie wailed.

  "Then what's wrong?" Claire asked, although she didn't expect Jennie to be any more forthcoming than she had been.

  "I feel so bad." Jennie's breath came in gulps.

  "Why?"

  "For being nasty to you." She wiped her eyes with her fingers and sniffled. "I'm sorry for being crabby and mean."

  Jennie's sincerity brought tears to Claire's eyes and she was speechless.

  "Can you forgive me?" Jennie asked in a small voice.

  Claire glanced at Alex and puzzled over his raised eyebrow. Now she understood why he hadn't seemed concerned when she'd pulled him into the kitchen. She'd assumed Jennie had been miserable when, in fact, she'd been shy and nervous, as Alex had said.