Let Me Love

by Michelle Lynn

  “So, are you out here for vacation?” I swear at myself for asking such a stupid question. Why else would she be here?

  “Um...yeah,” she says. I can’t help recognizing the apprehension in her voice. Then again, I just met her, I could be hearing something not there.

  The conversation flows comfortably for the rest of the trip. Between the lefts here and rights there, we sneak in our majors, graduation days, and jobs. Since we’re both Architecture majors, we relax into a discussion of professors and classes for a while. I’m surprised I’ve never seen her before. There’s no way I would have missed her. But with her being a semester behind me, she hasn’t spent as much time in the lab as I have. The lab is where I can be found, if I’m not playing with the band or ‘playing’ at the bars.

  We pull up to the small isolated log cabin way too soon for me, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t another human being in a five-mile radius. It’s eerie and creepy. I get out of the van and grab her suitcase from the back, then walk her up to the door. As we get closer to the porch steps, a light comes on and the door swing opens.

  A lady with grey hair and bearing a friendly smile, opens the screen door. She’s bundled up in her coat with a pair of black snow boots on. “Kailey, darling, you made it.” She opens her arms as Kailey swiftly climbs the stairs. She leans in as the lady wraps her puffy sleeves around her into a tight embrace. After giving Kailey a little squeeze, her aunt’s curious eyes find me. She peers down and whispers to Kailey, “Who’s this?” Her tone is nice and welcoming, and I can’t help liking her already.

  “Sorry, Aunt Holly, this is Trey Michaels. He and his friends were nice enough to give me a ride from the airport.” Kailey remains on the porch while her Aunt steps down, holding her hand out to me.

  “Hi, Trey, thanks for looking out for our Kailey,” she says. I place my hand in hers, surprised by her firm grip.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I reply, standing there like an idiot. Kailey walks down the steps for her suitcase that’s resting on the walkway besides me. I place my hand on hers, and she quickly snaps her hand back, as though I shocked her. “I’ll carry it for you,” I assure her, taken back by her reaction.

  “Why don’t you come in, Trey? We’re making a late lunch.” Aunt Holly opens the door, waiting for me to enter.

  I glance at my watch, and then look to Kailey for a clue if she prefers me to stay or not. Jessa’s mom said she was planning a dinner, but I figure I have some time. “Sure,” I answer, and Kailey lets out a small sigh.

  Carrying her bag, we enter the cabin. The furniture is big and cozy with throw blankets strewn over the backs of couches and chairs. The warm and welcoming surroundings make me want to plop myself on the couch and prop my feet up on the wood table. Luckily, my mom taught me better than that. So, I wait in the entryway until both women pass me. Kailey never looks at me, almost as if she’s annoyed I’m staying.

  “KAILEY!” a deep boisterous voice hollers as a man walks into the room.

  “Uncle Clyde.” Kailey practically runs up to him, throwing her arms around him his huge frame.

  “We’ve missed you, girl. How is everyone?” he asks her while letting his large body absorb her much smaller one. He must be six-six, three hundred pounds. I’m intimidated as hell and a million excuses to leave scramble through my head.

  “They’re good.” I hear her voice shake slightly, and he pats her on the back, almost as if he’s consoling her. When they pull apart, his eyes find me, and I bite the stud piercing under my lip.

  “Who’s he?” He nods his head my way and his wife comes over immediately, patting my arm.

  “This is Kailey’s friend,” Aunt Holly introduces me, “Trey.”

  “He gave me a ride,” Kailey adds, and I’m happy to hear her voice a little more chipper than two seconds ago.

  “Huh,” is all he says while he stomps over to me. He reminds me of a lumberjack, like Paul Bunyan. I think this might be his brother. He even has the plaid shirt and blue jeans with those identical brown boots. I’m just thankful he’s not carrying an axe. After only three strides across the room, he’s right in front of me, occupying the same space. I used to think I was tall. Used to being the key words. “Why did you give our Kailey a ride?” he asks me, and I peer up at him, becoming more scared by the second.

  “Uhhh—to be nice. We’d rented a car and were on our way here anyways,” I stumble over my words, and he stares down at me for what seems like forever.

  “Thank you,” he holds his hand out to me and starts chuckling.

  “Oh, Clyde, I don’t know why you think that’s funny. The boy almost pissed himself.” Holly shakes her head and walks back into the kitchen.

  He continues laughing, and I hear Kailey’s now distinctive giggling chiming in as well. “It’s nice to meet you, Trey.” His handshake ten times firmer than his wife’s. His large hand claps me on the back, and I stumble forward a step. “Let’s eat.” Once I get myself back on two solid feet, I find the most amazing sight, Kailey smiling at me.

  Kailey and I follow Uncle Clyde into the kitchen. Holly already has the table set with a plate full of sandwiches situated in the middle, along with a bowl of pasta salad. Kailey opens the fridge and hands me a soda. Although I don’t usually drink the Diet Coke she just handed me, my mom taught me better. ‘If you’re a guest, you will eat and drink what they give you.’ So, I open it up and take my seat next to her.

  Clyde and Holly drill me with questions about my major, surprised we both attend Western but didn’t know each other previously. They actually appear like they don’t believe us. “You two look comfortable together, are you pulling our chains?” Holly asks, and Kailey assures her we aren’t. “It would be just like you,” Holly adds, but Kailey just smiles and takes a bite of her sandwich.

  Kailey has my mind all over the place. On the plane and the car ride, she seemed responsive and friendly. But when we arrived here, although her love for her aunt and uncle is evident, she’s more reserved. The fact that Holly thinks that Kailey would pull a practical joke, introducing me as someone she hitched a ride from when in reality I’m her boyfriend, intrigues me to get to know her even more.

  Clyde jokingly asks me about my tattoos and the meaning of a few. Why would I permanently destroy my body and why do I have earrings like a girl? He doesn’t appear to ask them to be offensive, just matter of fact from curiosity. Kailey does try to save me by saying she likes my plugs. I don’t miss that it’s her second time mentioning that in just a short few hours. Clyde cocks a skeptical eyebrow at her, and she giggles in response.

  After the meal, I say my thanks and shake hands like my parents taught me. Kailey says she’ll walk me out. I open the screen door, holding it open for Kailey. Without her jacket, she wraps her arms around herself, rubbing her arms. Man, I wish I were those arms right now, giving her a big hug just to feel her body pressed against mine.

  “Do you think you’ll have time to get together while we’re here?” I ask her, fumbling with the keys in my hand.

  “Um...I don’t know,” she shrugs her shoulders up and down. “I guess.” Shit, she’s confusing. First no and now yes. Why am I doing this to myself? Just go find another quick fuck!

  “Can I have your number?” I pull my cell out from my pocket, and she takes it out of my hand.

  Her fingers move rapidly over the keys, and I’m praying she doesn’t notice all the other girls’ names and numbers I have programmed in it. She hands the phone back to me, wrapping her arms around herself again. “I’ll call you,” I tell her and from the tight smile she returns, it’s confirmed that she indeed did see the numbers. “How’s tonight?” The words spill out of my mouth before my brain can stop them due to a desperate need to make her aware that those other girls are nothing to me, even if I don’t fully understand why.

  “I just got in, I’m not sure...”

  “We can stay in, watch a movie.” Hell at this point, I’ll settle for a thirty minute sitcom. The anti
cipation of being in a dark room with her is the most hope I’ve had in a long time.

  She looks at the cabin apprehensively, and then back to me as my own hope that she’ll say yes rises. “Okay,” she agrees.

  Trying to act cool and collected, I nod my head and lean in. She lets me wrap my arms around her and the smell of crisp apple mixed with flowers on a spring day embeds in my senses as Kailey. From this point forward, I’ll never be able to eat an apple without it reminding me of her.

  I release her and step back, not wanting to linger like some creep. Opening the door, I crawl into the soccer mom minivan. She waits by the porch until I pull away, giving me a wave good-bye. Even though, I haven’t figured her out completely, I find myself eager peel back every layer of her.

  I’m finding my way back to the cabin, the anticipation of seeing Kailey again growing with every mile. The streets are pitch black in Colorado; my headlights the only help to light the way as I retrace my drive from earlier, which only cause a whole new set of nerves to flow through me. You would think with all the mountains, there would be streetlights. Surprisingly, the van climbs the mountains with grace, and I start to feel in complete control. Well, at least in control of the car, as far as my emotions, they’re all over the place.

  When I pull up to the cabin, I spot Kailey waiting by the front door. I texted her when I left Jessa’s parents’. Seeing her there, as though she’s just as excited as I am, brings a smile to my lips. I climb out of the van, and she opens the front door for me to enter. The room is dark except for the dim light from the lamp in the corner and the glowing television without much sound.

  She’s all wrapped up in a sweater, keeping her arms around herself just like earlier. Probably trying to protect her body from my prying eyes. I have to admit, my eyes inadvertently veer to her ass or tits, just as much as her glittering green-gold eyes that remind me of a precious gem. The kind only multi-millionaires can afford, yet here they are staring back at me.

  “So...” she squints her eyes my way, most likely trying to figure out what I’m thinking. I wish I could tell her, but it’s too fucking soon for that. Shit, she’d go running into those mountains.

  “What are you watching?” I glance back at the television and then back to her. The newness between us is present, but underneath it I’ve never felt so relaxed with a girl.

  “Just flipping around.” She shrugs her shoulders, finally making her way to the couch.

  Following behind her, my eyes peruse the room. “Where’s your aunt and uncle?”

  “They’re in bed. Early risers.” She takes a seat, curling her legs up under her body.

  Pausing briefly, I debate for a millisecond between sitting right next to her or being polite and taking the cushion over. Fuck it, I plop down next to her. “So, let’s do humor.”

  Those emerald gems glance over, and then she presses play on the DVD and Date Movie begins to play. I bite my lower lip and stare back at her. “Don’t read anything into the title, it’s slim pickings around here.” I laugh at her declaration.

  “You telling me this isn’t our first date?” I ask her.

  “You catch on fast,” she remarks.

  “I couldn’t agree more. Our first date will be one you’ll never forget.”

  “Who said I would say yes,” she quickly retorts. This back and forth banter has my dick twitching.

  “You will,” I say confidently.

  “So cocky and sure of yourself, buddy.”

  “Buddy?” I cock both my eyebrows at her, and she stifles a giggle. “I most certainly am not your buddy.”

  “What would you prefer me to call you?” She’s sitting up now, facing me with her legs crossed. The television becoming long forgotten.

  “I don’t know, how about stallion, lover, or tiger? Yeah, I like that one, Tiger Trey,” I laugh aloud at my own stupid joke. How lame is that? She instantly quiets me, pointing to the back hallway. I imitate the elementary school teacher motion of zipping my lips and tossing the key, making her own giggle explode out.

  “I’m not sure about any of those.” She smiles, obviously starting to relax. “What about tat-boy? I kind of like that one.” She grins over to me. I’m not sure if she’s serious or joking, but I imagine her calling me that when we’re a ripe old age when my tattoos are all saggy and faded.

  “Take Me Now Boy?” I jokingly counter, but she shakes her head no and pursing her lips.

  “Nah, tat-boy. That’s my name for you.” She stands up and walks in the kitchen. Following her, I admire her ass and how she walks so stealthily and quiet, similar to a cat.

  “If I’m lame ass tat-boy, you can be my cat-girl.” She turns around and scrunches her eyes and nose in confusion. She’s in the doorway of the pantry, so I lean closer, cornering her against the wall. “You move with the graceful finesse of a cat. Mixed with those mesmerizing green-gold eyes of yours makes you my very own little kitty cat.” If it’s even possible, I feel her body draw closer and pull away all at the same time.

  “Kind of a cliché, don’t you think? You want me to purr for you too?” She grabs a bag of popcorn and starts pouring it into a bowl.

  “You can purr for me anytime.” I wink. “Give me a break, it’s been a long day. Not to mention, tat-boy, how did you come up with that?” I tease, and she cocks her head silently saying touché.

  She grabs two drinks out of the fridge without a word, and goes back to the couch. She points to the cushion furthest away from her. “You sit over there,” she instructs. Then she places the bowl between the two of us on the vacant cushion, the same cushion I wish I was currently occupying. “So, what’s the most important part of a first date?” she asks, crossing her legs, which only brings my attention back to her body. When she leans forward, her breasts squeeze together allowing me a glimpse of her black lace bra. For a second I let my imagination go wild thinking about what’s not only hiding under that sweater, but exactly how her small tits would feel as I manipulated them with my hands.

  I tilt my head, giving her the flirtatious eyes to hint at the sexual tension, “Do I really have to tell you?” I chuckle.

  Surprisingly, she joins in with the humor. “Come on, tat-boy, think with something else other than...” Her eyes veer down to my crotch. I like those cat eyes focused there. Come pounce on me, kitty. “Trey?” she questions, and I bring myself back to our conversation. Then the light bulb clicks on.

  “Getting to know someone,” I finally answer.

  “Ding, Ding, Ding. One for tat-boy.” She holds her finger up, making a line in the air. Man, I think I just found the female version of me.

  “Aren’t you funny, cat-girl? So, what’s the point of this, other than making Trey seem insensitive and stupid?”

  “Cute, third person.” She smiles, and I let out a breath. “Okay, okay, sorry. Get a piece of popcorn in my mouth and you can ask me anything, and I’ll answer.” I’m surprised, she’s so willing to grant me permission to ask her anything I desire. “I must warn you, though, I played basketball. So, you’ll be answering a lot of my questions.” This playful, almost light-hearted Kailey has me reeling more than earlier. Looks like I just peeled back the first layer of her hard shell.

  “Oh you did, did you?” I ask her, surprised.

  “I was always good at handling balls,” she smirks over at me. Jesus, I’ll definitely be rubbing one out tonight.

  “Then we’re a match, I’ve always been good at getting it in the hole,” I say right back, and her lips press in and turn up on the side as she tries to hide her amusement. “You do know what they call a three pointer in basketball?” I ask her, knowing she probably doesn’t.

  “Oh funny, tat-boy. Yes, I know–tre.”

  “So, you up for playing one on one sometime?” She nudges the popcorn my way. I grab a popped kernel and prepare it in my hand, practicing my throw.

  She leans back and opens her mouth. My hand stops midair. “Don’t lose your concentration, the only thing getting in this
mouth tonight is popcorn.”

  “Don’t worry, you don’t have your mouth open wide enough anyway,” I tease, practicing my throw again. I throw it and bang, it lands right on her tongue.

  “Hot Shot Tat-Boy,” she says. “Shoot.” She chomps on her piece of popcorn, waiting for me to ask her.

  “One on one?” I ask.

  She laughs to herself. “I can definitely arrange a friendly game of horse.” I chuckle at her comeback.

  We continue this game of popcorn truth for a while and before I realize it, it’s three in the morning. She’s found out about two brothers, my lovely sister-in-law, and my very happily married parents. I tell her how I grew up in Oberlin, and she says how she grew up in Western. She has a sister, brother-in-law, and two nieces and a nephew, who all live there as well. Her roommate is a clean freak, who’s never home and constantly has new boyfriends. For a second I pray I’ve never slept with her roommate. It’s a perfect situation since she believes one should never live with their friends because before it’s all over you definitely won’t be friends anymore. So, of course, she finds it odd that I live with all my best friends.

  It’s been forever since I’ve taken the time to get to know someone. The last thing I want to do is leave, but now she’s yawned five times in the last two minutes. I pray one night I’ll curl up with her in bed, but that’s definitely not tonight. Standing up, I hold my hand out for her, and she takes it and rises to her feet. She’s warm from the blanket she’s had wrapped around herself for the last hour. Pulling her to me, I encase her in my arms, squeezing tight. I lean back, keeping her close, and assess the situation. That first date moment debates in my mind, kiss or no kiss. Her body leans closer, my lips, so close I can smell her popcorn breath. I would kill to taste that salt and butter from her mouth, but I don’t want to destroy my chances either. “Call you tomorrow?” I ask her, and she nods her head, giving me no signal of disappointment or relief. Better safe than sorry.

  Entwining our hands, I lead us to the door and when the cold air rushes in, I can’t stop myself. I lean in, kissing her on the cheek, before whispering, “Goodnight, my cat-girl, sweet dreams. Get inside and lock up,” I instruct her before jogging down the steps.