Let Me Love

by Michelle Lynn

  “Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, we know it,” Dex interrupts and strings a few chords for her.

  “Great,” she exclaims, beaming from ear to ear. I sit behind my drums really wishing that I had Kailey with me. Maybe I can convince her to come and sit on my lap for a few songs. But right now she’s rallied the troops to watch their mom perform. Caden holds Drew in his arms, shaking his head in amusement at his outrageous wife. Kailey sits on the ground with the two wide-eyed girls in her lap, staring in awe at their mother. Our eyes catch briefly before I’m about to start the beat. As I cross my arms and my foot presses on the petal, my sticks start drumming. She licks her lips and images of that tongue in my mouth, or around me, has me shifting on my stool.

  Jen starts singing the words, strutting back and forth on the make shift stage. Grant and Dex laugh while joining in singing when she places the microphone in their face. All the guests are front and center, with a few couples dancing, my parents included. Kailey, Chloe, and Tara clap their hands to the beat, and Jen walks off stage and sings right in their faces before stomping her way back up to us. Everyone is engaged and loving her, she should have been a performer. Then it’s time and Grant steps up, playing his solo and Jessa screams, “Go baby,” and raises her hands with a rock on hand symbol.

  Jen drags the girls up on stage and gets down on her knees, allowing them to scream into the microphone. After what seems like a zillion ‘I love rock ‘n rolls’ we fade the song, and Jen wraps her arms around the two small girls, kissing both their heads. She gets down on the grass, and Caden hands Drew off to Kailey before dipping his wife and kissing her. Chloe screams, “Gross,” while Kailey and I share an amused laugh.

  Before I can blink, Grandma Ida has the mic and is talking to Dex. He raises his eyebrows my way and she grabs his face, bringing his attention back down to her. I take his continuous head shakes to mean we don’t know any of the songs she’s requesting. Finally, his head nods, and I wonder how long I’m going to be up here. Dex looks at me with an exasperated look before walking my way. Grant follows suit. “She wants ‘Do You Love Me’,” he whispers.

  “Shit, are you sure?” Grant’s eyes follow to Ida as she practices her twist.

  “Alright,” I agree. “Hopefully she doesn’t break a hip,” I joke.

  “This should be fun.” Dex plasters a smile across his face, and she smacks his ass on the way back to his side of the stage.

  If I thought Jen hit it out of the park, Ida made it clear across the river. Everyone circled around in the small yard, doing the mash potato and the twist. Not one person’s body isn’t moving. Chloe and Kailey hold hands while their ankles twist and hips bob back and forth. Shit, Kailey’s ass looks fucking delicious right now. My eyes are so fixated on her tight jeans, hugging her ass as she shimmies back and forth that I don’t notice a tall figure coming her way until his hands obstruct my view. Fucking Nate Gibson, what the hell is he doing at my party? Kailey looks back, and then turns making his hands fall off of her. That a girl. Chloe now between them, she continues to concentrate on the small girl in front of her, but Nate isn’t allowing her to distract him. I see his lips keep moving as she keeps backing up, then apologizing to people after bumping into them. Shit, when will this song ever end? Running out of options, she picks Chloe up, and my brother Derek steps between her and Nate. Thanks, little bro. A few choice words back and forth between Derek and Nate happen before Nate turns around. Finally the song ends, at least I hope it was supposed to end. Because I’m not wasting my graduation night on this fucking stool unless her ass is in my lap.

  With determined steps, I reach Kailey, and the anxiousness in her eyes tells me she’s scared I’m about to start a fight. Instead of chasing down Nate, I pull her toward me with Chloe in between. “What did he say?” I whisper, and she shakes her head. She bends down, releasing Chloe and the little girl runs to her parents, who are already walking toward us. “Kailey, what did he say?” My voice sterner this time around.

  “He just asked if he could cut in. It’s nothing.” She waves me off, but her mannerisms tell me it was more. “What I don’t understand Trey, is why he’s pursuing me now, after he dumped my ass after only two dates and one lackluster fuck?” I’ve never heard Kailey so angry.

  “It’s kind of stupid, but I’ll be putting a stop to it,” I attempt to appease her, but she won’t stop huffing, and Jen is getting closer with every sigh from her lips. The last thing I need is her big sister finding out Nate and I have always had a pissing contest involving girls.

  Kailey doesn’t speak, just crosses her arms over those perky breasts I was just admiring and shifts the hips attached the ass I had wanted to grab only moments ago. Impatiently waiting for my answer, those damn eyes bore into me like always when she wants to know I’m telling the truth.

  Releasing a heavy sigh, I begin to reveal a pretty immature and stupid fault. “Nate and I, we kind of compete for girls.” Her arms collapse and her shoulders slump in disappointment. “Not like that, it’s just occasionally if he saw me with a chick—.”

  “Nice, Trey,” she rolls her eyes at my word choice.

  “Girl,” I correct it, but it does nothing to change her stance. “Anyways, if he saw me starting to get with a girl and I left to go get a drink or something, he would try to step in and grab her before I did.” I swipe my hand over my head, completely humiliated to admit it to her.

  “And would you do the same thing?” she asks, hands on hips now and Jen standing right beside me, sighing.

  “Yeah,” I shamefully admit softly as though she won’t hear it. “It was a different time, before you,” I add, but she just shakes her head and walks away.

  “I’ll talk to her,” Jen says beside me. “It’s not like we didn’t know you were a himbo,” she mentions with her back toward me.

  “What the fuck is a himbo?” I ask to myself.

  “It’s another word for male slut,” a familiar girl’s voice answers from behind me.

  When I turn around, I wish I hadn’t. “Hey, Bridg,” I say.

  “Hey, Trey.” She fiddles with her red solo cup with her name written on it with small heart over the i and her B looks like a set of tits. “Nice playing,” she compliments me.

  “Thanks. Listen, I gotta go.” I take steps back toward the house.

  “Yeah, go get your crying debutant. Would hate for her to be upset,” she sneers.

  “Rein in the claws, Bridgette,” I warn, but she continues to run her mouth. I look around thankful that everyone is wrapped up in their own conversations.

  “Why would you choose her? She has nothing you want, or, for that matter, need.” She steps closer and rakes her finger nail down my chest. “I know how you like your cock sucked, I can make you hard just by my dirty talk. What does she do? ‘Oh, Trey’. Just a bunch of lame moans, I’m sure. I would bet you come thinking about someone else,” she keeps ranting, and I’ve heard enough.

  “Get over yourself, Bridgette, and—,” I’m about to tell her to fuck off when Kailey’s gasp announces her presence at the door. Her face pale and her eyes filled with wetness. I stare between the two girls, before Kailey bolts back into the house. “Fuck off, Bridgette,” I scream before following Kailey.

  I weave through the masses of bodies while hearing quarters dinging the tables and plastic cups being flipped. I half wonder where all the adults are, but I soon forget them when I spot the brunette hair briskly heading to the staircase. When I pass through the living room, I find all the adults. My parents, Jessa’s parents, Sadie’s mom and grandma are all sitting around drinking coffee and chatting to themselves. “Trey,” my mom calls out, but I ignore her, taking the stairs two at a time.

  When I spring the door open, Kailey’s head is in her hands. Getting down on my knees, I place my hands on the outside of her thighs, hoping she’ll talk to me. “I’m sorry,” I tenderly apologize.

  Her head springs up and anger floods her eyes. “What exactly are you sorry for?”


  “That you had to hear that, for who I was before I met you, for the fact that Nate is trying to get you back. Although, don’t worry, I’ll handle that.” I ramble every possible thing I can think of. Not that I don’t regret it all, I do.

  “Was she your fuck buddy?” she asks, staring up at me through her dark eyelashes.

  I sigh. “Yeah,” I admit, and she takes a deep breath.

  “That’s what I thought. You do know she wants more,” she informs me, but allows me to take her hands.

  I entwine our fingers. God, her warmth feels good right now. “Maybe, but she’s not getting it.” I use my hand and raise her chin, so she can look me right in the eye like she usually does. “I only want and need one person—you.” A small smile begins to claim her lips, and I’ve never been more relieved. “Please, know, I don’t want her, baby. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” I gently push her back on the bed. “You’re the one I love. You’re the one I see my future with.” My lips travel up her neck as my knees nudge her legs apart. “Do you believe me?” I whisper, and she nods her head. “Tell me, Kailey,” I beg.

  “I love you, Trey,” she whispers back and hearing those three words escape her mouth, all my self-control flies out the window. Not caring about the house full of people or that someone could walk in on us at any time, there’s no way I’m leaving her body even for the minute to take care of the task of locking the door. I pull my shirt over my head and her hands splay across my chest.

  Our lips meet and frantically delve into one another’s. Teeth knock, lips bitten. You would never guess we just had sex less than twenty-four hours ago with the way we strip not only each other’s but our own clothes off our bodies with pure lust that fills the four walls. I can’t get enough of her. “Fuck me, Trey,” she requests, and I need to be inside of her so damn bad.

  I rip her soaked satin pink panties from her body and toss them to the floor while she leans forward and twists her arms behind her to unclasp her bra. Her breast spring out with pebbled nipples. My hands don’t let me think twice before they’re over the small mounds of flesh, rolling the pink nubs through my fingers. She slides her big toes into my boxers and pushes them down my legs. As I step out of them, I open the drawer and grab a condom. Wishing like hell she would do it with her mouth again, but not wanting to waste any time, I tear open the foil and roll it over my hard cock. “Hurry,” she breathes, and I don’t waste time getting between her soft silky legs, thrusting in immediately. Her moan confirms that’s exactly what she wanted.

  Instead of the usual gentleness I do with her, I lunge in and out, driving deeper with every thrust. God, she’s so fucking warm and wet. It’s a perfect fit for my dick as her folds encase me, like a warm sweater on the coldest of winter nights. Her legs wrap around my hips, and her nails dig in my shoulders, pushing me faster and harder. Her eagerness makes me that much hotter and harder. Our lips suck and lick each other’s neck and shoulders. Then her moans turn to wails, and she’s begging me not to stop. Not like I would. When her teeth sink into my flesh, and she tightens around my cock, I’m done. The come bolts out of my cock at record pace, I collapse on top of her, and she holds me in her arms.

  That’s the difference between fucking a one-time girl and fucking your girlfriend; I would have already been up and out the door by now, but with Kailey it’s different. She can tell me to fuck her, and I can throw her around like a rag doll, but as soon as it’s over, we’re back to the love. “You’re amazing,” I say, and she just continues to catch her breath in the sweet comfort of our embrace.

  Kailey and I don’t rush to go back downstairs, knowing the party will still be there in an hour or so. We cozy up under the blankets, and I hold her close to my chest. “Congratulations, graduate,” she softly says with her fingers tracing over the drum set tattoo on my chest. “How does it feel?” she asks.

  “Fucking amazing.” I mindlessly rub my own hand back and forth down her bare arm.

  “I’ll have to experience it through you.” Her voice lowers.

  “Hey,” I nudge her head up so she can see me, “you’ll graduate, Kailey. We’ll make it work.” I have no doubt we will. It might be hard after Jen...but I won’t let her not finish her degree.

  “We’ll see,” she says, shrugging her shoulders like there’s no way it will happen. “Are you excited?”

  “Of course. Not to make you feel bad, but no more tests or early classes.” Not that I’ll be far removed from it.

  “When do you leave?” she questions, and I feel wetness against my chest. Is she crying?

  “Leave for where?” I sit up a little, so she has no choice but to reveal her face. When she does, she has long lines of mascara down each cheek. How did I not realize she’s been crying this whole time?

  “Cincinnati.”

  “Why would I be in Cincinnati?” I feel like we’re playing some twisted game again.

  “The job, isn’t that what Dean Girardo was talking to you about at the ceremony?”

  “Kailey,” I curtly spout, a little angered that she would assume I’d make a decision that major without consulting her. “He offered me a job. Here, at Western.” I had plans to make a big deal of it. Take her to a nice dinner, have a real date for once. Rest her mind that’s been worried about me leaving and watch her face light up knowing I’d be here for at least a year, until she graduated.

  “What? You can’t teach—,” she says, her voice rising back up to the normal level, if not a little excited as well.

  “They’re building that new fitness center. They need architects, and he asked me to accompany the team. All the senior graduates had to do a blueprint for our last assignment. Mine got accepted—well, parts of it did. It’ll be a mixture of a lot designs submitted. I’ll work under him as a paid intern and gain the experience.”

  She immediately straddles me and places her hands on my face. “So, you’re staying? You’ll be here for a while?” she questions.

  “At least another year, long enough to get you graduated, then we can find somewhere to go together, or stay here,” I admit with a shrug, as though her reaction is exactly what I pictured. There’s no way, I’m going anywhere without her.

  “Oh, Trey,” she exclaims. She bends down and wraps her arms around my neck tightly. “I thought you were leaving.” She pushes back from me, leaving our faces right in front of each other. “Not that I would have stopped you. I’ll never hold you back,” she says. I pull her into me, ignoring her disclosure.

  We enjoy the moment of peace and quiet a little longer before we venture downstairs to join the party. By the time we escape the bedroom, all the parents are gone and Jen and Caden have left, leaving our usual crowd. I sit in a chair with Kailey on my lap. Looking around the table, I’m amazed eyeing each one of my buddies in a similar position as me. Sadie is nuzzling into Brady, Jessa is searching the cabinets while Grant’s chin rests on her shoulder and well...Dex. Dex and Sam currently have their tongues down each other’s throats. What a change just from last year when we were all single. Usually these parties entailed us sitting around playing cards and drinking until the sun came up.

  “You guys have nothing to eat,” Jessa angrily says, slamming the cabinet. “I’m starving,” she whines, and Grant starts searching for her. When she flings the freezer open, her hands can’t grab the ice cream fast enough. Taking a spoon out of the drawer and nudging it with her hip to shut it, she grabs the chocolate sauce from the fridge and plops down at the table. She pops open the carton and pours an inch of chocolate gooeyness over it before her spoon digs in. A huge heaping of ice cream rests in front of her face while we all stare in awe her way. “What? Did you guys want some?” she asks before her mouth covers the whole spoon, and she slides the ice cream off of it.

  “Attractive, babe,” Grant says, rolling his eyes.

  The table fills with laughter as Sadie gets up and grabs the rest of the containers and seven more spoons. We all take our turns dipping our spoons into the different kinds
of ice cream my mom had brought over. My friends...my family, I love them and adding Kailey just makes it all fit together.

  Chapter 13

  Kailey

  It’s been two weeks since the graduation party. I can’t believe how fast Jen’s health has diminished. She can barely get in the car to go to her doctors’ appointments, so forget about picking Drew up now. She’s needs me more than ever lately, and I refuse to disappoint her. Taking a chunk of my parents’ life insurance money, which was supposed to be going toward my schooling next year, I quit my job for the summer in order to take care of the kids. Caden has to work to support the family and keep his insurance. Even with his class schedule lighter this summer, he has to be away quite a bit.

  I moved out of my apartment and into their house to make it easier. The roles are beginning to shift, and everyone feels it. Chloe and Tara now run into my room in the morning instead of Jen’s. Drew cries out for me more nights than not. It’s terrifying when I think of the future, so every time it creeps into my mind, I push it back as far as it’s willing to go. I’ve caught Caden crying two nights this week in the quiet dark room of the living room with only the flicker of the television lighting the room. Leaving him to his solitude, I tiptoed out of the room before collapsing into my own fit of tears in their guest room. How on earth would we all go on with our lives without her? She is the glue bonding us together.

  Trey started his job a week after he graduated and loves it. It’s nice to see him so happy, doing what he loves. The thing I’m not so happy about is the girl, Sara, who’s also working on the building. Yeah, yeah, there’s a team of them, but all I ever hear out of Trey’s mouth is, ‘Sara thought of this awesome thing we could do’ or ‘Sara and I grabbed a bite,’ after I’d prepared him a dinner. He spent his days flitting around with Sara while I changed diapers, fed kids, cleaned floors, looked after Jen, and watch Dora the Explorer five million times. You’d think Swiper would get the hint by now, but he continually gets caught. The threat of Trey and I slipping into different lives lingers over us like a dark cloud reaching its capacity of water. Eventually, it has to release.