Let Me Love

by Michelle Lynn

  When I step into the kitchen, the kids are all eating sundaes, and Aunt Holly’s putting everything away. Uncle Clyde relaxes on the couch. I really need to take them out to dinner before they leave for a big thank you. There’s no way I would have gotten along without them.

  “Aunt Kailey, you look beautiful,” Chloe says, and I smile down at her.

  “Thank you,” I tell her.

  Sitting in the chair between her and Tara to wait for Trey, the apprehension about leaving them washes over me. As though feeling it, Aunt Holly chimes in, “Trey will be drooling as much as Drew,” she laughs, swiping Drew’s mouth for most likely the twentieth time today.

  Before I can answer, the doorbell rings. From the small window, I catch Trey’s tattooed arm. Chloe beats me to the door and swings it open. “Hi, Trey,” she exclaims, and he picks her up, kissing her on the cheek.

  “Hey C-lo, your aunt—,” he stops and stares at me. That familiar look of desire and lust roams up and down my body as he bites his lower lip. He had to take out his piercings last week, since Drew wouldn’t stop tugging them. Hopefully, it’s only temporary, but like usual Trey took it all in stride. “Your aunt is gorgeous,” he finishes.

  “Yes she is,” Chloe agrees, beaming as bright as I most likely am.

  “Shall we?” he asks, and I nod, walking toward him.

  “See you, C-lo, take care of the family,” Trey tells her, giving her a hug and kiss.

  “It’s all under control,” she tells him, and we laugh.

  “Jesus, Kailey, I’m dying,” he says, opening his door.

  “We can skip dinner,” I say, pushing my body against his.

  “If you keep doing that, we will.”

  We don’t skip dinner. We go to the fanciest restaurant in Western. Trey holds doors open, pulls out my chair, and offers his arm everywhere we go. A true gentleman all the way from the beginning through the end of the date.

  He pulls his car up to the house, and I see Rob in the garage working on his car. Trey gives him a small hello as we enter through the back door. Brady and Sadie are arguing about wedding details—again. Dex is nowhere to be found, as usual. After a quick hello, we retreat to his bedroom.

  “Now for the real fun,” he whispers in my ear, backing me up to the bed.

  He gives me a gentle push, and I fall into the bed, causing my dress to hitch up. “You have to be shitting me? The whole night?”

  I nod and bite the inside of my cheek. “Fuck being a gentleman. Next time, I’ll have to go exploring.” His hands graze across my legs, inching further and further with every second. I swear I’m already wetter than I’ve ever been.

  “Explore me now,” I invite him to me, and he doesn’t wait before his fingers are circling my clit. Rubbing his finger up and down between my folds, the sounds of my wetness echoes throughout the room, only making my desires stronger.

  “I’m going to promise you right now; the second time, we’ll go slower,” he says, and I giggle wanting nothing more than to have him in me. When you sleep under the same roof as three kids, sex is pretty tame, quick and quiet most of the time.

  “Turn on the radio,” I tell him, and he smirks figuring out exactly why.

  “Why, baby, you feeling a little freaky tonight?” he asks me, then when “Criminal” by Fiona Apple starts up, he saunters over to me.

  “We’ll see if you can bring it out.” I tease, and he takes the bait, tearing my dress off me in one fluid motion. I hurry and get on my knees to unbutton his pants, and they fall to the floor. Taking both my hands, I cup the edge of his button-down shirt and tear it open. The sounds of busted buttons hitting the dresser and falling to the floor ricochets through the room.

  After I have him completely naked, he grabs a fistful of hair and pulls my head down. His mouth crashes against mine, his tongue piercing tickles my lips. I open immediately, thrusting right back. Our mouths more open than closed; our tongues take turns in each other’s mouths.

  Gently tugging, he guides me to my feet. I stand on his bed, my pussy in his face. His tongue darts into my fold, and his hand reaches behind my ass to keep me in place. I buck forward when his fingers insert into to my wetness. He just groans and continues tasting me. Completely caught off guard, he grabs my feet, and I fall onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

  “We don’t have long,” he tells me. “I haven’t even cherished these tits,” he grabs a hold of each one, massaging and tweaking. “So, you’re going to be on top,” he instructs, and I automatically return the favor of sucking him into my mouth.

  Scooting over, I lay over his cock and encase my lips over the hardness. His hand ventures to the back to my hair, pushing me into his body. Just hearing the groans and obscenities escaping his mouth has me practically orgasming. “We’ll be revisiting that another time,” he says, pulling me back up to him.

  I swing my legs over his body, inserting his dick between my folds. The wetness allows him to slide right in. He smacks my ass, and I buck rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone. His hands find my breasts, and he raises up to lick and suck my nipples. “You’re so perfect,” he tells me, and I arch my back, placing my hands on his thighs behind me. “Just like that, ride me baby,” he instructs me. I quicken my pace, bouncing up and down while pushing forward. “Shit, Kailey!” He holds my hips and starts raising his ass to reach deeper inside of me.

  “Trey,” I scream, and his serious expression shows he’s most likely listing chords has me clench tight before releasing completely. Trey follows two seconds after me, and I crumple on top of him. Keeping him inside, I wait until he softens and slides out before I move off of him.

  He brings me to his side and our bodies begin to calm down. “You owe me a shirt,” he jokes, and I laugh.

  “We’ll go shopping tomorrow,” I tell him. Eventually, I get up and clean myself up.

  Our night consists of sleeping, making love, sleeping, fucking, and sleeping. It’s the most incredible night, and I honestly feel Trey and I are exactly where we need to be. My fears of him waking up one day and wanting out this life are slowly vanishing.

  The next morning, I’m sad when Trey’s not with me in bed. Hearing the shower running, I’m pretty sure where he is. Debating on joining him, I quickly nix that idea, since the bed is way too comfortable and warm to leave. Getting restless, I begin to think about packing up this room and bringing Trey’s stuff over to the house. I contemplate if Trey would want to move in with us, he’s there all the time anyway. My mind wonders from thought to thought, scenario to scenario. At least the one constant is we’re together in them.

  My phone buzzes, and I reach over to the nightstand to grab it. Seeing it’s just a Facebook notification, I put my phone back down. I bite my cheek when I spy the drawer. Trey hasn’t ever said not to open it, but I know he keeps something very private in there. Crap, I’m so curious. Hearing the water still going, I slowly open the drawer. A box of condoms, a few receipts, and a book are all that occupy it. I release a relieved breath. Even though, I’m not quite sure what I thought he was hiding, I’m thankful there’s nothing much in the drawer. I pick up the book about famous architects, beginning to read about Adolf Loos when something falls out. Bending over the bed, reaching towards the floor, my fingers barely grasp the photo laying there. When I turn it around to look at it, my stomach tumbles to the depths of hell. My mouth goes dry, my heart starts racing, and the sounds of the world are muted.

  The sound of the shower turning off snaps me out of my stupor, and all I can think of is getting the hell out of here. I throw the covers off of me, scrambling around the room to grab my clothes. Once I’ve thrown on my dress from last night, I’m two steps from the door when Trey appears in the bathroom doorway. His body glistening with wet droplets, a towel wrapped around his taut stomach. “Kailey? What’s wrong?” he questions, clearly concerned.

  “Who is this?” I ask him while holding the picture up, already assuming the answer. My hand balled at my side, fingernails piercing m
y palm.

  “I was going to show you at some point. It’s just I keep it—”

  “Who?” I cut him off, and he steps back confused about my inquisition.

  “It’s my daughter,” he cautiously divulges.

  “You bastard,” I yell. “How could you? I fucking believed you loved me. You manipulative asshole.” I scream, tearing the door open and slamming it shut.

  Brady skids down the stairs from their room to investigate the noise. Dex and Rob open their doors. “Are you okay, Kailey?” Brady asks.

  “No, I’m not. Your roommate is fucking prick, who uses people’s hearts to gain what he wants.” By this time, Trey’s already out of the room with his towel still wrapped around him. Sadie appears next to Brady in her tank top and boxer shorts. She approaches me, and I step back. “Did you all know?” They all stare at me with confused expressions, but Sadie places her hand on my shoulder. “Can you take me home?” I ask her, and she nods, escorting me downstairs. She needs no explanation, she’s just there to help me.

  Before I take the steps, I look directly at him. “Stay the hell away from her. Do you understand me?”

  “Kailey, what the hell are you talking about? I’m sorry I never showed you the picture, but I don’t get why you’re so mad.”

  “Do you get some sick twisted pleasure by tormenting me? All these months, all the lies. How could you do this to me?” The tears start streaming down my face even after pushing them back. “I knew it. I knew there was a reason you pursued me the way you did.”

  “Kailey! Talk to me, I don’t understand? Why are you so mad I didn’t show you the picture?”

  “Did you think the situation was your opening, and I was your golden ticket? If you think you’re going to get her now because Jen and Caden are dead, you’re mistaken. I’ll fight you till my last breath. Do you understand me?” I stare directly into those eyes that I once believed reflected the love he felt for me.

  “Who the hell are you talking about?” he screams.

  “Chloe. You gave her up Trey! Using her mother’s illness to sneak into her life through her aunt’s weakness isn’t going to get her back.” His face falls and a glaze covers his eyes. “Don’t contact us, and don’t come around.” I run down the stairs. Sadie’s mouth is completely open in astonishment. I guess she didn’t know. She follows me out.

  I keep running until I get to the safe confines of her car, and Trey runs out of the house after me. Sadie attempts to push him back, telling him to give me space. The guys come out, and Dex places his hand on his chest, attempting to keep him back, but Trey pushes past him and makes it to the car, banging on the window. “I swear, I didn’t know, Kailey. I swear.” Figures he’d go the ignorant way out of it.

  Flipping him off as Sadie pulls out of the driveway does little to make me feel better. Once we’re driving down the street, she places her hand on my leg. She remains silent for a few minutes until we get to a stop light. “Kailey?” Her soft voice fills the silence. “I’m not entirely sure I know what’s going on, but whatever it is, Trey was just as surprised as you right now.” Her phone buzzes, and she pulls it out. Texting someone back, she sticks it back in the center console.

  “Trey had a daughter.” I decide who the hell cares about keeping his damn secret. “He gave her up for adoption when he was seventeen.”

  “Is that what the fight is about?” she hesitantly asks. I’m thankful it’s Sadie with me, instead of Jessa. I’m not even sure Jessa would have let me leave the house.

  “There’s no fight because we won’t be making up. It’s over. His daughter is...is...is...his daughter is Chloe,” I admit to her as much as to myself. My voice doesn’t reflect any emotion. I can almost feel the cold swirling within me.

  “Oh,” she takes a deep breath and glances over at me. The rest of the ride is complete silence, except for my phone’s consistent buzzing in my purse. I know who it is, and he can go to hell.

  We pull into the driveway, and I thank Sadie. “Let me come in. We can talk.” Her hand covers the keys idling in the ignition.

  “No, thank you, Sadie. I need to be by myself for a while.” She gives me a huge hug, and I step out of the car to try to figure out how this happened, but not before I spot Trey’s car squealing around the corner. He slams the car into park as he and Brady get out of the doors.

  “Seriously, man, you practically killed me,” Brady shouts at him, slamming his door.

  Trey pays no attention, running up to me. He has a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that’s still wet from his body, and bare feet. He’s not going to use his charming ways this time. “Kailey, listen to me,” he pleads.

  “NO! Get the fuck out of here,” I scream at him.

  He gets down on his knees, begging me to talk to him. “Just listen to me god damn it!” he hollers back. Uncle Clyde comes out to see what the commotion is. Sadie and Brady stand by the car confused and shocked by what’s unfolding in front of their eyes.

  “You gave her up once, you’ll do it again. How could you think this would be good for her? Hasn’t she lost enough? We’re better without you. She is better off without you. The best thing you did was give up being a part of her life. She doesn’t need to know her birth father was such a selfish manipulative bastard. Just leave,” I say sternly before walking past Uncle Clyde and into the house.

  “What the hell is going on?” Uncle Clyde’s deep voice questions Trey.

  Slamming the door, I see Aunt Holly standing at the window with Chloe and Tara by her legs. She stares up at me confused as everyone else. Looking at Chloe, I’m not sure why I never noticed it before. The shape of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, and the hair color—identical to his. How fucking blind was I?

  “Give me a second, okay?” I tell Aunt Holly and run upstairs. Bursting into Caden and Jen’s room, I go to the back of the closet and find all the paperwork. Pulling out the heavy filing box, I’m thankful for my sister’s organization skills. I collapse to the floor, thumbing through the typed labels, until Chloe’s name appears.

  Aunt Holly quietly comes into the small confines and sits down across from me. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at the papers I’m shuffling through. Medical records, kindergarten registration, then BAM, there it is...her adoption records.

  My eyes scan the paperwork, praying I could be wrong. Trey can’t be Chloe’s birth father. That the little girl in the picture was a baby that looked just like her, that the dress she was in could be a common one for that year. My stomach drops when I land on the closed adoption reads, birth parent names are blank. Looking at the date of Chloe’s birth, I calculate Trey’s age in my head.

  “How could it be?” I say more to myself, but Aunt Holly answers.

  “I don’t know. It’s an unlikely coincidence.”

  “That’s why you know he found out where she was. I don’t know how, but he purposely sought me out. All these months have been lies.”

  She looks over at me and bites her lip.

  “What?” I sigh. She wants to tell me something, but is too afraid of my reaction.

  “I think you’re wrong. He’s outside talking to Clyde. Brady and Sadie took the kids to the park. He’s confused and devastated. You need to talk to him, hear his side of the story. This might have been one of those crazy stories you hear about on the internet,” she says with a hollow laugh.

  “I seriously doubt that. Out of all the people I meet, it’s the birth father of my adopted niece. Give me a break, Aunt Holly.” As I continue to search through the documents, a manila envelope falls out of the folder. There are three envelopes inside. The first is labeled Chloe, the second Mom and Dad, and the third Sweet Girl scrawled across it in Trey’s scribbled handwriting. My shaking hands attached to my trembling body slowly open the first envelope.

  Dear Chloe,

  I know when the time comes your Dad will give you these letters. I hope you’ll understand the decisions we made about your adoption. Chloe, you are one of the greatest blessing
s in my life. Dad & I were so honored to be chosen to be your parents. We love you more than we could ever express in words.

  Because your adoption was closed we didn't receive any information about the identities of your birth parents. Communication was restricted to go through our adoption counselor. We were told your birth parents did plan to register, so you would be able to contact them when you turn eighteen if you so wished. Dad & I were so thankful for the gift your birth parents gave us that we wrote them a letter to thank them.

  Not long after the letter was sent the adoption counselor contacted Dad & me with a request from your birth father. He asked if he could write you a letter. He knew that there was a chance you would never see it, but he wanted to do it anyway. We gave permission, and two letters were forwarded to us. The first was addressed to Dad & me. The second was addressed to you.

  After we read your birth father's letter to us, Dad & I made the decision to keep the letter to you private. It was written for you, and should only be read by you. If you’re Dad has given these letters to you, than you must be questioning him. I wish you all the luck on any answers you hope to find. Please always remember, you’re Dad and I love you so much.

  I love you forever and always.

  Mommy

  The second envelope contains a letter from Trey to Caden and Jen. I’m debating reading it. I know these are private words meant for Jen, Caden, and Chloe, but Jen and Caden aren’t here, and I need to make the decision that’s best for Chloe. If it turns out to be true, and Trey didn’t know, would she be angry that I took away her chance to have a father in her life. A man who would be a great father. A man who is a great father already. I pull the letter out of the open envelope.

  I wish I knew what to call you, but it seems like Mom and Dad is the best thing. Thank you for sending the picture. It means a lot to me. The adoption counselor said you gave permission to write the baby a letter. I wrote her a letter telling her why her birth mother and I made the decision to place her with another set of parents. It also contains all of the information she could use to find me one day. I know in my heart you will know when the right time is to share the information with her. I only ask that you tell her I do love her very much. Thank you for providing her with the parents she deserves.