Grey Eyes

by Ramey, Quinteria; Alston, Brandon

  London looked uncertain of how to proceed. “I know this is a lot, but if you just let me explain, I promise it’ll all make sense.”

  I wasn’t convinced.

  “Please?” she asked, putting on the puppy dog look that reminded me of the London I’d known in life.

  “It better be good.”

  “You were an archangel once,” she began. “Second only to Michael and Gabriel. But you lost your way.” She waited for a reaction before she continued. Still awaiting the words that made this all make sense somehow, I gave none. “Mankind had regressed during the Middle Ages, having lost much of the progress brought about in the Golden Age. People were suffering on an unprecedented scale—plagues and famine were sweeping the land. You came here to gift them with magick, to give them greater control over the world around them. Many of us questioned whether man could handle such power, but you assured us that you would be their guiding light.”

  “But like I said, losing our connection to heaven makes us prone to human mistakes. Like shortsightedness. You had a sick child, whose time on earth was meant to be short—but you didn’t let nature take its course. You utilized magick that you weren’t authorized to use to keep him alive. Once that child ended your life, mankind was left without direction. Those “gifted” with magick abused it for power and wealth, and came to be known as “witches.” Without your example, witches learned to become fearful and suspicious of the conjurers who tried to take your place. Your murderer was free to spread his sickness across the world. You made a mess that the world is still paying for.”

  “You’re saying that I’m her? Merline?” I whispered. I remembered Dr. Roberts’s words to me in the clinic that day. He spoke about there being only one other conjurer to have multiple gifts, to have unnatural magick as her affinity—it was her. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

  She took my hand and nodded. “There’s more. After so many of your successors failed, you were given the chance to straighten things out—you were granted another human life. But again, you lost sight of why you were here. You fell in love with a vampire. Tristan. You were struck down because you abandoned your purpose. We kept giving you chances, and you kept choosing Tristan. Only, times up now Ana. The vampires have become too many, too strong. They’ve become a real threat to overrun the humans now. That cannot happen for obvious reasons. This is your last chance to make things right, or Michael will come to do the job himself, and you don’t want that. This is your last chance at redemption.”

  I still didn’t want to believe it, but who would come back from the grave to lie? “I don’t understand. I mean, if they didn’t want me to be with Tristan, then why would they keep letting us find one another?”

  “Because you have to make the choice to do what’s right rather than choosing what you want. Redemption is never easy. It isn’t meant to be. It has to be earned. You need redemption, Ana. You can’t come home with the way things stand right now. Not until you destroy Daemon.”

  “That’s my purpose?” I asked. Tristan had lied about Daemon being involved. She nodded. “But if Daemon dies, then Tristan will too,” I breathed sadly. Their fates were intertwined, and the reality of what she was asking was setting in. It terrified me.

  “How many people do you think have died at the hands of vampires, just in the time we’ve spoken? They must be eradicated, Ana. The suffering must stop. You don’t have to die young, you aren’t meant to. Destroying the vampires is just part of what you’re here to do. You’re meant to bridge the gap between humans and witches, to restore the witches’ faith in conjurers—to accomplish the goals of your original visit.” Her face softened. “I understand what you must be feeling. I do remember what it’s like—how I felt about Aiden. But in the end, my choosing to be with him kept me from remembering what I was here to do—until it was too late. I’m giving you the chance I never got—to say goodbye. They left Tristan to die. I brought him here—“

  “Where?”

  “In your closet—“

  I leapt from the bed and sprinted to my closet, swinging open the door. My heart sank. There he was, stretched out across the floor, a piece of metal driven into the left side of his chest. The rest of his body was battered and badly bruised. He didn’t seem capable of the quick healing that I’d witnessed before. Something was different. It had to be the result of the two months of torture he’d endured, which he’d willingly taken on to protect me. How could ending his life be my purpose, when I alone had the power to save him?

  I dropped to my knees and leaned over him. London was just behind me and she closed the closet door shut behind us, locking us inside.

  “Surya,” he strained. “She came to see me. It was too much for her. She told Daemon the truth. He was furious. He made me watch as they killed her, and then he sentenced me to die too.”

  Fear shot through me, but I tried not to let it show. “It’s okay, Tristan. Don’t worry about that.”

  “He knows that you’re the one who’s responsible, Ana. You have to run. You’re not strong enough yet.” He stared into my face, seeing something there that upset him. “But you aren’t going to, are you?”

  My eyes jumped up to London. “I think I have to face him.”

  “Then just let me go, Ana. You won’t have to worry about causing my death anymore…”

  “No! I can save you Tristan. I want us to have a future, but you have to fight. You have to stay alive…for me.” I hated to lie to him but I needed him to hang on. He couldn’t die on me.

  He smiled and started to say something but the words never came. His eyes began to roll. Panic shook me and I could feel Lexy’s part of my soul begging me to do something.

  “London, I can’t. I can’t watch him die. I have to save him.”

  “Ana—“

  “London, please…”

  She shook her head. “You can’t make him human again. The venom in his veins is too pure. You aren’t as strong as you once were. ”

  I took matters into my own hands. I put a hand on either side of his chest and willed his body to heal—hoping to tap into the same magick that healed my mother. Nothing was happening. “London, help me. Please!”

  She looked conflicted. “Ana, this is a mistake. It’ll be so much easier if you just let him go—for both our sakes. My purpose is tied to yours. This is my last chance too.”

  “Please,” I whispered. “You said that you were here to help. So help me.”

  She shook her head. Tears streaked down her cheeks. “I can’t. I’ve made that mistake too many times already. I’ve been your sister, your best friend, your maid… Every time you come back, I’m the one you confide in and I always tell you wrong. Whether it’s because I don’t know any better, like this past life as London, or because I just want you to be happy—I tell you to go for it, to choose Tristan even when I know you shouldn’t. All those times I assured you that there would always be a next time. Only, there won’t be a next time Ana. I wanna go home.”

  Something clicked. That night on the beach, when Tristan had promised not to fail me, he’d told London that she shouldn’t either. I didn’t have all the facts then, but now I knew what he’d meant. London had been reincarnated too, apparently every time that I had. “I’m not really choosing him London. I’ll do what you ask. I won’t let you down this time. I just can’t let him die.”

  London shook her head and closed her eyes. “And that’s exactly why you’ll fail in your purpose, because you love Tristan too much to let him die. We’ve tried to help you. Even when we take away the memories that made you love him… even when we guide you to another who will love you with his whole heart… even at the risk of the angel who has been your companion since the beginning of time—you’ll always, always, choose Tristan…” She sighed. “Tap into your emotions, Ana. They make us stronger. Love heals.”

  I couldn’t worry about her words now because I really couldn’t watch him die. I focused on how much I cared for him, letting the memories I had of u
s flood my consciousness. I could feel a tingling on my back, but it still didn’t seem to be enough. I needed to dig deeper, to feel more… So I kissed him. I closed my eyes as Aleksandra rushed to the forefront of my mind and felt myself fade and disappear.

  “So beautiful. Is it possible?” he asked. “Am I in heaven?”

  I opened my eyes. He was staring upwards with those intoxicating green eyes of his. Except, he was looking past me. Tears ran down the sides of his face. I turned to see what it was he was staring at and saw wings of pure white light stretching out of my back. “I won’t let you die,” I told him. London was gone.

  His body had almost completely healed when someone began pounding on the door. “Ana? Are you alright?” It was Darren’s worried voice that called to me. I moved to open the door, but as soon as my hands left Tristan the bruises began to reappear. I put my hands back onto him to continue the magick, but the connection we had was gone. I leaned in to kiss him again, and the closet lit up once more.

  It was also the time at which Darren decided to kick open the door. He didn’t seem to know what to make of the wings, but he had seen my lips pressed to Tristan’s. Hurt and anger shone out from his eyes and he stormed off. I called out to him, pleading with him to let me explain, but he didn’t return. I was stuck, but Tristan needed me more right now.

  “Remember what I said Ana,” London’s voice spoke in my head. “You can’t have them both.” Images flashed in my head of Darren’s car swerving off the road, tumbling down a hill and into some trees.

  Again, I was running. The moment Tristan was okay I was out the door, past Amelie and Corinne in the hall outside my room, down the stairs, and into the crowd. I ran straight through to the elevated portion of the room, where I could get a good view. I needed to find Taylor.

  I didn’t see her anywhere, but I did see Aspen running up to me.

  “I loved your speech—what’s wrong?”

  “I need to find Taylor, it’s really important.”

  “I just saw her, she’s outside—“

  I started toward the door before Aspen could finish, feeling guilty that I’d been the one who’d gotten to see her sister. I tore through the crowd to the back entrance, and spotted Taylor just a few feet from where I was standing. “Taylor!” I called.

  “She looked like she really liked it,” she said into her cell phone as I approached.

  “Taylor,” I said again, this time putting a hand onto her shoulder.

  She turned around and her face went pale. “I’m sorry Ana, I know I shouldn’t be talking to Christopher after what his dad did, but—“

  “I don’t care about that,” I interrupted. “Darren’s in trouble. I need you to take me to him.”

  “O-Okay. My truck is parked in the side parking lot.”

  ********************

  “What happened?” she asked, as we turned onto the main road.

  “Car accident. But I don’t know where he is. Just keep an eye out.”

  “Then how do you know he had an accident? Did he call you? We should tell someone…”

  I didn’t answer any of Taylor’s questions. I was already trying to reach out to Darren’s mind. I knew that I would have to delve deeply. I needed to experience what he was experiencing. I needed to know where he was.

  “Darren!” Taylor and the truck I was riding in faded away. I was with Darren now. He was outside the car, with pieces of broken glass scattered around him. Smoke filled his nostrils and everything on his body ached. He was wondering if he was about to die, wishing he’d stayed to let me explain… Thank God he was alive.

  Through his eyes, I could see a water tower not far away and that was all I needed. I broke off our connection and found myself being shaken by Taylor. We were parked in the grass just off the road.

  “Ana, are you alright?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m…I’m fine. Do you know where any water towers are?”

  “If we turn around and take Muller’s Street, there’s one set off into the woods. I don’t think it’s being used anymore—is that where Darren is?”

  I nodded.

  “But how—Nevermind. Gotta get used to this whole witch thing.”

  She whipped the truck around and sped back toward Muller’s Street.

  I didn’t wait for the truck to come to a stop before I jumped out. His car was upside down at the bottom of the hill but he wasn’t very far down. I slid down beside him and let my hands find his chest. I didn’t need to kiss him to tap into my healing abilities—my love for him was right near the surface, not buried inside of me like it was with Tristan. Just looking at him brought up those intense feelings inside me. I felt the tingling start and saw the grass light up around us.

  Darren started to cough, and rolled over onto his side. After a minute or so, he was healed, and I moved away from him. I found Taylor a few feet away from me, staring at me with awed eyes. I couldn’t help but smile, only Taylor would have stayed after witnessing something like that.

  Panting and exhausted, I let myself fall backwards onto the grass. I’d done it. I’d saved both of them. Part of me wanted to say “Ha!” to London’s claim that I had to lose one of them, but I realized that had she not tipped me off, I never would have known that Darren was in trouble. I might have waited for him to cool down first, and by then, it would have been too late.

  “Ana,” Darren called. I leaned up and crawled over to him. “I should have let you explain,” he said. “I can’t lose you. Not now. You chose me, Ana…I’m the one you chose.”

  I nodded and took his hand. “I know, Darren.”

  “I love you,” he said next.

  “I love you too.”

  Taylor came over and put her arms around both us. My family and friends were still safe. I let out a grateful sigh.

  ********************

  It was well past midnight before I was finally able to let Tristan out of my closet. Getting rid of Amelie and Corinne had been difficult. They’d been made to look pretty incompetent by my little escape to find Darren, and were now hesitant to let me out of their sight for any reason—even sleep.

  But that was nothing compared to what was coming.

  Tristan smiled warmly as he stepped into my bedroom. In an instant, he was in front of me, and had pulled me close. “How soon can you be ready?”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Tristan.”

  He looked confused. “But you said— Isn’t that why you healed me?”

  I dropped my head. “I just didn’t want you to die,” I replied in a small voice. It was selfish and I knew that, but I needed Tristan alive. I couldn’t imagine the world without him.

  “How could you be that cruel, Ana? I love you.” He shook his head. “I thought you’d decided to run away with me—that we could be together one last time. I can protect you from Daemon. The only reason I wanted you to move on was because I didn’t expect to ever see you again.”

  Hearing the ache in his words pained me. It had been cruel to lie to him. But what else could I have done, let him give up? I needed to explain my decision to him. I just prayed that he understood.

  “Tristan, the girl you’re in love with isn’t me. Not anymore. I do feel what you feel, that longing, that connection between us, but it’s not my love Tristan, and it’s not our connection. I didn’t know the difference at first, not until I opened myself up to Darren… I—I’m sorry.”

  Tristan had been shaking his head as I spoke. Like I’d dreaded, he wasn’t going to accept my decision easily. “You just have to remember the good times,” he said. “That’s all it’ll take. I’ve made mistakes. I don’t deserve your forgiveness—or your love for that matter. I’ve always known that… You—you said that you’d received some of your memories, surely you can see that I haven’t always been so manipulative. The memory of what we were, of what we can be again, it still lives in me. To kill that is to kill me, Ana.”

  The grief in his words stirred up a hurt in me so severe I
had to sit down. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I was so very terrible at delivering bad news. Having steeled myself for his resistance, only to have that fade, I changed the subject. “You knew that this was the last life I would get, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “I used to wonder about how many times they’d let you come back. You told me once that your “last chance” reincarnation would be noticeably different from all the others. Well, this is the fastest you’ve ever come back and your face is the same as Lexy’s. But even before I met you as Ana, I knew the next reincarnation would be your last—what Lexy and I tried to do, I knew it would make the other angels furious. I promised you that once you reached your final lifetime I would stay away from you. I couldn’t. If I had the willpower, I would have, I swear to you. But you’re everything to me.”

  The guilt was eating me alive. I could only stare at my feet, wishing things were different—that somehow I could give him what he needed and still be true to Darren—that my purpose for being here wasn’t to cause his death.

  With his hand, he took my face. “Choose me, Ana. Let me have the next twelve months. The angels, they always give you until your seventeenth birthday to decide. When that day approaches, I’ll leave—I’ll take care of Daemon myself. Then you and Darren can be happy for the rest of your lives. Let’s have Neverland one last time… You may have his heart, but you have my entire soul. I know you felt it when we kissed.”

  He was right. I did feel it. The kiss was blissful. That powerful yearning had never truly dulled. It probably never would. Part of me was—would always be the girl he fell in love with, only, that part of me wasn’t Ana. Even though we shared the same soul and some of the same feelings, having separate sets of memories essentially made us different people. Even having Aleksandra’s memories didn’t change that. All but the earliest of her memories of Tristan were partial and incomplete; after she’d gotten her memories, so much of who she was and what they talked about depended upon happenings from previous lifetimes—which I didn’t have access too. Memories are what make us up. “I can’t,” I told Tristan. “I have feelings for Darren.”