No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  He picked up proofs of the photographs they’d had taken of her only that morning and looked at them. She was beautiful; there was no doubt about that. If she got this part she and Kenny were going to look so good together on screen. But if she got this part her life was also going to change beyond any recognition and he felt just a little bit guilty about that. Being thrust into all of this could be dangerous. He’d seen what this city and this industry could do to young actors and actresses – both the famous and the not-so-famous – and he didn’t want that to happen to India. She was already special to him; already someone he wanted – needed - to get to know more, whatever the outcome of this screen test. That was extremely important to him.

  He put the photographs back down on the table in front of him and sat back, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. He’d protect her; he’d already made his mind up about that. He had to make sure she was ok. He’d found her, he’d brought her here, and it was his job to make sure nothing and nobody hurt her. Ever.

  ***

  “She’s got it, Michael. Reece might be right y’know. We may be taking the biggest gamble of our lives here but he might just be right.”

  Michael Walsh looked at his co-producer. They didn’t have the money to be wasting time on somebody who wasn’t going to even come close to cutting it but he seemed outnumbered on this one. Everybody who’d already met the mysterious India seemed to think she had something, but what he was concerned about was whether that “something” was going to translate onto film. She was totally and utterly new to acting of any description and that in itself was making him uneasy. He hadn’t even seen what she looked like yet.

  “Here. Take a look at these,” Vince went on, handing Michael the envelope containing India’s photographs. “She’s certainly got the looks.”

  “Not much use if she can’t act, Vince,” Michael said, sliding the pictures out and looking into the face of this girl for the very first time. And in that second something hit him, a feeling that could only be described as akin to someone reaching into the pit of his stomach and punching him hard. He couldn’t explain it and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

  He was vaguely aware of Vince’s voice in the background as he flicked through every photograph, taking in every inch of her face.

  “She’s a looker, isn’t she?” Vince said, getting up and pouring them both a drink.

  Michael didn’t reply, just kept on looking through the photographs.

  “Michael?”

  Vince sat back down and handed him his bourbon. Michael knocked it back in one, throwing the photographs down onto the table.

  “Are we sure Kenny Ross is right for the male lead?”

  Vince looked at Michael like he was mad. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course he’s right for the role, he’s perfect!”

  “He was perfect before she came on the scene, Vince. Now I’m not so sure.”

  “You’re crazy, Mike! You can’t go changing male leads now, and I don’t even believe we’re having this conversation. Kenny is the only guy we ever considered for this part, he is the part and she is going to be perfect alongside him. I’m telling you, we’ve found the dream pairing here.”

  Michael closed his eyes and rubbed them with his fingertips. He suddenly felt very tired.

  “We’ve got the screen test in the morning,” Vince said, standing up and picking up his jacket, flinging it over his shoulder.

  “I’m well aware of that,” Michael sighed, opening his eyes and leaning back in his chair.

  “So, you just wait and see. I’m telling you, they are gonna be perfect on screen together, I can feel it. And just think of the publicity it’s gonna generate, Mike. A totally unknown girl from Northern England and one of Hollywood’s hottest young actors. We couldn’t buy that kind of publicity.”

  Michael watched his friend walk towards the door, picking up his car keys on the way.

  “The perfect couple, Michael. We might just have created the perfect couple.”

  And that was exactly what Michael was afraid of.

  CHAPTER 5

  Kenny paced the floor, holding a script he didn’t need. He’d read this part so many times he could say it in his sleep. He’d be verging on boredom if he wasn’t so intrigued to meet the girl who’d be testing with him today. He hadn’t heard that much about her in the few days since she’d arrived in L.A. but Vince and Reece seemed to love her. He wasn’t so sure about Michael, though. He seemed distracted this morning, a little tense almost but that could be down to the fact they’d all been here before and it had always come to nothing. Michael had every right to be tense. It was his movie after all.

  Kenny looked up as Michael walked into the room, flicking through pages on a clipboard and not even looking up to acknowledge Kenny’s presence.

  “She here yet?” Kenny asked, leaning against the wall and throwing his script onto the floor.

  “Hmm?” Michael eventually looked up at Kenny then down at the script he’d just thrown away. “Yeah. She’s outside with Reece and Vince.”

  “Are they sitting in?” Kenny asked, trying to engage Michael in some kind of eye contact but he was concentrating on whatever was on that clipboard again. He was in a strange mood that was for sure.

  “No. I thought it best if as few people as possible were in the room. She’s going to be nervous enough as it is.”

  “I’ll be gentle with her,” Kenny smirked.

  Michael looked up at him but didn’t smile back. What the hell was wrong with him today?

  “Are you ready?” Michael asked, walking over to the camera to make sure everything was set up and ready to go. He wanted to get this moving.

  “Sure. Ready when you are.” Kenny gauged his director’s mood as somewhat tetchy and decided not to carry on with the wise cracks.

  “Right. Then let’s get this show on the road.”

  ***

  India felt tears suddenly well up in her eyes as the reality of where she was and what she was doing hit her hard. She’d had little or no sleep last night and had spent most of it sat up in bed, channel hopping on the TV. She’d really needed Charley to talk to; anything to take her mind off things, but the time difference was confusing her so she hadn’t ‘phoned because of that. And she couldn’t ring Terry; she didn’t need him lecturing her on the eve of what was probably the biggest day of her life.

  Reece had told her there was nothing to worry about but how could she not worry? This wasn’t her world. This was so far away from her world. But she didn’t want to let Reece down. He had so much faith in her but she had no idea if she could do this. The nerves were overtaking everything and it was all she could do not to be sick.

  She looked up as the door to the room she was standing outside opened and Michael Walsh suddenly appeared, smiling warmly at her, but all she was aware of was her stomach turning another barrage of somersaults as the nerves came back to hit her all over again. Michael Walsh was standing there, right in front of her. One of her favourite actors, and he was smiling at her. At her. India Steven. Legal Secretary from Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

  “Are you ready, India?” he asked, standing aside to let her through.

  As she was ever going to be.

  She nodded her reply, took a very large, very deep breath, and followed him inside.

  ***

  Kenny looked up as Michael walked back into the room, followed by the mysterious India. She was looking down at the script in her hands; hands that he could quite clearly see were shaking, and he couldn’t see her face properly. But, as she slowly looked up, her eyes suddenly locked onto his - incredible blue eyes that he couldn’t look away from. This was weird, almost too weird. He felt as though he’d known her all his life yet this was the first time he’d ever seen her. There was just something about her that was making him feel instantly comfortable in her presence.

  He smiled at her – he couldn’t help it, it was almost a reflex action - and his smile became even wider a
s she smiled back, her face immediately relaxing, her shoulders dropping as the tenseness left her body. Everyone had been right, she was beautiful, true, but that wasn’t the only thing Kenny was seeing. One look from this stranger, this new and beautiful girl that had walked through the door just seconds ago and he was busy re-evaluating everything in his life. How could somebody do that to him?

  She walked over to where Michael had told her to stand and still their eyes were locked, until Michael spoke again and she broke the gaze, leaving Kenny a little confused. He pushed a hand through his dark hair and stared down at his feet for a few seconds whilst he gathered himself together. How could someone you’d never met before walk into a room and make it feel as if you’d always known them? Always known that one day they were going to turn up, always known that they were out there somewhere, someone you knew you could tell everything to, someone you knew you could share everything with. He’d never believed in all that fate crap before but, as he looked back up at India, watching her as she followed Michael’s instructions intently, he kind of believed it now.

  ***

  India felt her stomach turn yet more somersaults, although quite how it was doing that when it was all tied up in knots she didn’t know but it was doing something. And she felt slightly nauseous again as she followed Michael Walsh into the small, square room, checking the script she was holding onto for dear life, her hands shaking with nerves. She knew he was there - Kenny Ross - she knew he was there, she could feel him. And then, as if someone else instead of her had taken control she looked up, looked right at him, right into those deep, brown eyes and she couldn’t look away. She couldn’t break that stare.

  It was the strangest feeling, something she never thought could be real but she felt as though she was looking at a long lost friend, somebody she’d known all her life. He was standing there, leaning back against the wall, wearing a tight white t-shirt, black leather trousers and biker boots, his dark hair pushed back off his face - which was sporting slight stubble - one hand in his pocket, and he looked amazing. But she wasn’t feeling how she thought she’d feel. She wasn’t feeling like some love-sick, star-struck groupie who was finally coming face to face with her idol. It was like she was seeing a friend and it was freaking her out slightly. But then he smiled, that movie-star smile she’d seen so often up there on the big screen, and she found herself smiling back, every little ounce of nerves and tenseness leaving her body so quickly she felt almost light-headed. This was only adding to the whole surreal experience. It was a crazy feeling but one she suddenly felt totally in control of.

  “Shall we go through what’s going to happen here, India?”

  Michael Walsh’s voice snapped her back to reality and she broke the gaze, still smiling inside. Maybe crazy things happened for a reason after all. Maybe Charley was right. Maybe she should just throw caution to the wind for once in her life and roll with it. And that’s exactly what she was going to do.

  ***

  Michael couldn’t help but see what was going on. He watched Kenny’s eyes as they met with India’s, watched what was going on between the two of them and he could see it, he could see it all and it wasn’t what he needed.

  He’d known it was going to happen from the second he’d seen her picture, he’d known it even more once he’d seen her in person. He knew Kenny Ross, he knew his reputation and he knew what he was capable of. This is what he’d feared, what he’d blindly hoped wouldn’t happen, but he should have known it was inevitable.

  There was something about Kenny Ross he couldn’t trust. He was a great actor, one of the best of his generation, he couldn’t deny that. But Michael couldn’t trust him. It felt as though he was standing in the way of something Michael wanted, something he needed, and Kenny was stopping him from getting it. He’d felt it last night and he was feeling it even more now.

  Calling India over made her break the gaze and Michael found himself breathing out and relaxing as she made her way over to him, listening as he explained what was going to happen. She looked at him, but the look she was giving him was one of pupil/teacher and he felt his heart sink.

  Sending her back over to Kenny, it was impossible not to notice the way her body language changed in an instant, her face breaking back into a smile as she approached her young and handsome would-be co-star. That had been Michael not so long ago. He may never have been quite as handsome as Kenny but he’d always been able to attract the women, any woman he’d wanted. In an instant he’d just had proof that those days were well and truly over.

  ***

  “You ok?” Kenny asked as she came back over to him, still clutching her script but this time in hands that were no longer shaking.

  “I’m fine. I’m really fine,” she laughed, and she was. Amazingly, after a night of nerves she’d never, ever felt before, and never wanted to feel again, she was absolutely fine.

  Kenny laughed too, instinctively reaching out and touching her arm to reassure her.

  A cough from the other side of the room made them both look around to see that Michael was in position by the camera and waiting for them both to get started, so Kenny kicked the script he’d thrown down on the floor away from him and gave India another smile. “You ready?”

  She just smiled back and threw her script down onto the floor beside his.

  ***

  She had the part, as far as Michael was concerned. Without a doubt this young lady was the one they’d been looking for, the one they’d been waiting for. Out of the blue had appeared the leading lady of his dreams but, despite this, Michael’s heart sank even deeper as he watched Kenny and India together. Vince was right. They were lighting up the screen, sparking off each other. It was working. It was working far too well but he couldn’t deny that this partnership was going to make this movie. The two leads needed to have chemistry; they needed to look like they belonged together and, no matter how much Michael hated the idea, Kenny and India were, as Vince had put it, the perfect couple.

  He stood up, still watching the two of them together. He’d already called ‘Cut!’ but they were still talking, laughing together as if they’d known each other for years instead of less than half an hour.

  The perfect couple. As long as that stayed just on screen Michael figured there wouldn’t be a problem. He had plans for India Steven. And they didn’t involve Kenny Ross.

  ***

  India had already pinched herself a dozen times until her arm hurt but she was still here, still standing on a sound stage in the middle of Los Angeles after being told, by Michael Walsh no less, that she’d just landed the leading role in a Hollywood movie! Just over a week ago she’d been making her way through the Newcastle rush hour to another day at ‘Wheatman and Rogers’ and now she was going to be an actress! Where the hell had that come from? This kind of crazy shit didn’t happen to people like her, it was like a fairytale and she couldn’t stop smiling. Who did she tell first? Reece was already somewhere finding champagne to celebrate with … yes, Reece Brogan, Hollywood movie star was celebrating with her, India Steven! It was beyond mad!

  She wanted to tell Charley but what was the time over there in England? She began counting on the fingers of one hand, concentrating so hard she didn’t hear Kenny come up beside her.

  “Can I help?” He leaned back against the wall beside her, now wearing a black leather biker jacket over his t-shirt, his hair falling over his eyes.

  She looked at him, unable to believe that she was standing right next to Kenny Ross, that she was going to be in a movie with Kenny Ross. Knowing her luck she’d wake up any minute now and find out she’d just had some elaborate but extremely graphic dream, so she sneakily pinched herself again, just to make sure.

  “I’m trying to work out what time it is back in the U.K. I want to call my friend, tell her the news.”

  He smiled at her again. He couldn’t stop smiling at her. Kenny Ross wasn’t feeling like Kenny Ross anymore. “It’s about twenty-past five in the morning.”

&
nbsp; “Far too early to be calling her then.”

  Kenny looked straight ahead of him, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. India couldn’t help staring at him, at the outline of his jaw, the stubble on his chin.

  “You did good in there,” he said, turning back to look at her again.

  “Thanks. You made it easy.”

  Another smile. Was she really standing here having a conversation with Kenny Ross? And feeling like she could talk to him for hours, too. She felt so comfortable in his presence. She couldn’t explain why, she just did.

  “Come out with me. Now.” Kenny hadn’t been able to stop himself; the words had just fallen out.

  India looked at him.

  “We’ll go celebrate,” he went on, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, scuffing the heel of his boot against the wall behind him. “I know a great little place on the beach. We can grab something to eat, have a couple of drinks ...”

  “I don’t know ...”

  She suddenly felt nervous again and started looking around for Reece. But then she remembered that feeling she’d had when she’d first looked at Kenny, that overwhelming feeling of safety. She’d already taken one hell of a chance in coming here to L.A. in the first place so why shouldn’t she take another and spend some time with him? Getting to know him better wasn’t going to hurt, and she was old enough to look after herself, wasn’t she?

  He was inwardly begging her to say yes. He couldn’t forget how he’d felt when they’d first looked at each other. He needed to find out if she felt the same way. It was playing on his mind and if she didn’t come with him he’d never settle. He needed to find out what was happening here because he had no idea what it was he was feeling. He had no idea at all. He only knew that he wanted to be with her, for just a little bit longer. He wanted to be with her.