No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  He looked up as she walked onto the set, looking like an angel with minimal make-up, her long blonde hair loose around her shoulders, and he smiled as he walked over to her. She smiled back, she trusted him, he could see that.

  “Are you alright?” he asked. “I’ll get rid of any unnecessary crew in a minute; we’re just making sure everything’s set up.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Kenny not here?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Michael could have punched the air with delight. As director he hadn’t put up any objection to Kenny being on set with her but he’d hoped she’d see that having him there wasn’t the best decision. She was a smart girl.

  “Ok, well, two minutes, sweetheart, and then we’ll go for a take. Unless you’d prefer another run through first?”

  He wasn’t going to object to going through it more times than they actually needed to. Unprofessional, maybe, but he was the director. He could do what he liked.

  She shook her head again. “No, I’m fine with going straight for a take.”

  He smiled, finding it hard to take his eyes off her. No wonder Kenny wanted to keep her as close as possible. What sane man wouldn’t?

  He watched as she walked over to the bed, letting make-up and hair do the necessary touch-ups as he cleared the set of those that weren’t needed. Then he took a deep breath. A very big, deep breath. They were ready to go.

  He could actually feel the sweat start to break out on his forehead and he quickly wiped it away with a towel as he watched the action unfold. He watched as India slowly dropped her robe, the lighting on set making her look almost ethereal, her light blonde hair curling down her naked back.

  He could do this, he was a professional too, and this wasn’t real, it wasn’t, not yet. This was just a practise run; he was going to think of it like that - a practise run. And when the day came that this all turned into reality, then he could really tell her how he felt. And finally she would start to love him back. Finally.

  CHAPTER 14

  Jimmy was treating Charley like a princess and it was all she’d ever dreamed of. He was a gentleman, or he was to her, anyway. He showered her with expensive presents, took her out to glamorous clubs and trendy restaurants and made sure she wanted for nothing. Of course, in return, Charley was probably the most hardworking of all the girls he employed.

  Jimmy Cash was a very wealthy man. He made vast amounts of money from the many businesses he owned, ranging from men’s clothing stores to his magazine and newspaper publishing company, but the real money came from ‘The Wood Shed’. Everybody knew that. Despite the fact he came across as a very important corporate hot shot everyone knew where Jimmy Cash had made his fortune. Porn was big business and he knew that. He also knew that people would pay good money to watch things they couldn’t easily get hold of elsewhere, which was why he was known in the industry for pushing things as far as he legally could.

  So far he hadn’t asked Charley to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, and she was already reaping the rewards of being his number one girl. Being with Jimmy meant she got to experience perks many others never would, and she liked that. It made her feel important.

  So popular was she within the industry now that people were almost begging to work with her, and she was often given the chance to pick her own co-stars, be that men or women. She was playing the porn game hard and fast and the money she was making was giving her everything she could wish for, including her daily cocaine supply. She’d been put in touch with a reputable dealer by one of the other girls and he was turning out to be a life saver. All she had to do was call his private line and he’d have whatever she wanted over to her within the hour. Sometimes, on days when she didn’t really feel like doing her job - and there were a few - a line or two were what got her through. But ultimately, she was having a blast. She had money, a handsome, wealthy man by her side, and the recognition she’d always craved.

  But, in her darker moments, in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep and had nothing to take her out of it for a while, she would think about India. Beautiful, famous, Hollywood A-lister India. What they’d shared together back in Newcastle seemed like a million years ago now, a different world. There was the odd time, if Charley thought about it for too long, that she still wished she had what India had, when she wished she had the career, the status - the husband. Oh, she still wanted Kenny Ross, like an ache that just wouldn’t let up she wanted Kenny Ross. Jimmy was a wonderful man, in reality the kind of man Charley had always wanted, the kind of man who would do anything for her, give her everything she wanted, but she still wanted Kenny Ross. And he was the one thing Jimmy couldn’t give her.

  For now, though, she was happy where she was. She was living with Jimmy in his palatial gated estate in the Hollywood Hills, and every morning when she woke up and looked out of the many huge windows with their magnificent views that graced every room, she still couldn’t believe where she was.

  “Charley!”

  Jimmy’s voice made her jump and she turned around as he walked into the kitchen, all suited up and ready for his flight to Vegas. He had a few meetings lined up regarding his latest business venture - a new hotel and leisure resort in Las Vegas - so he was going to be away for a week or so. Charley would miss him, but she knew he’d bring her back some fantastic and expensive gift. He always did.

  “Have you seen my briefcase, darlin’?” Jimmy asked, in that wonderful Dallas drawl of his.

  “It’s on the table, over there,” she smiled. “You all set?”

  “I sure am, honey. And raring to go. Hopefully we’ll have the papers signed and the deal sealed by the end of the week, then it’s all systems go on our very own Vegas Hotel.”

  She walked over to him and kissed him quickly. “I knew you’d do it, Jimmy. You’re a very persuasive man.”

  He gave her that dazzling smile of his, sliding one arm round her waist and pulling her to him. “You gonna be a good girl while I’m away?”

  “When am I ever anything else?” she whispered, and he laughed, that deep, sexy laugh he had, throwing back his head.

  “Ok, angel. You know you got a lot of work on over the next few days. Don’t let me down now, we need that movie finished by Thursday for final editing. Got distributors waiting to get it out there. Anything with your name on it is making us big bucks right now. Let’s capitalise on that while we can. You ain’t gonna have those pretty looks forever y’know.”

  He kissed her nose, then pulled her in for a longer kiss before letting her go, dismissing her almost as he added a stack of papers to his already full briefcase. But Charley knew the drill with Jimmy. When he wanted you, you went to him and when he was finished with you, you accepted that and got on with something else. Those were the rules and she’d play by them because of what he was giving her in return.

  He checked his watch just as the telephone on the table next to him rang and he picked it up, listened to whoever was on the line and then replaced the receiver without saying a word.

  “My car’s outside.” He picked up his briefcase and threw Charley one last smile. “Like I said darlin’, you be a real good girl now, you got that?”

  She nodded, half of her breathing a sigh of relief as he walked out the door.

  ***

  Kenny stood in the kitchen of his Malibu beach house, alone and feeling like the biggest idiot. He was angry and annoyed with himself, frustrated that he hadn’t had the bottle to tell India about this place sooner. Preferably before they’d got married.

  It was only a house, just a house, and he’d only wanted to keep it a secret from people who didn’t need to know, not from people he loved. And he loved India, and now he’d hurt her. She’d accused him of not trusting her, and to some extent she’d been right. He’d been scared and anxious to let her in and that had been a mistake. But hindsight was a wonderful thing. He didn’t even know why he’d suddenly chosen that morning to tell her. It had hardly been the r
ight time, as she was getting ready to leave for work. He could have waited, taken her out to dinner or something, but Kenny Ross had never been in this situation before, where he’d had someone else to think about, someone else’s feelings to take into consideration, and he was still getting used to it.

  He walked outside and leaned back against the porch wall, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked out at the ocean. It hadn’t been a row as such, but the look on her face had felt like a kick to the stomach. She’d just turned her back on him and walked out.

  He’d make it up to her though. He’d do anything he could to make her see he’d been wrong. It was something so meaningless and stupid and he couldn’t believe he’d been so precious about a house. Kenny Ross letting his reputation get in the way of what really mattered. Again. He’d never really grown up at all.

  He went back inside, back into the kitchen, taking a beer from the fridge. Maybe he’d go surfing, get rid of some of his frustration out on the waves. Jesus, why hadn’t he just gone after her? He hated himself for being so weak sometimes, for second guessing his feelings.

  He took a long swig of beer and pushed a hand through his hair. He needed to cut loose for a bit, get out of there, take the bike out or something, anything to stop himself from thinking too much because if there was one thing Kenny hated it was over thinking stuff. It never did anyone any good.

  He put his half empty bottle of beer down on the counter and looked outside at the beach. It was beginning to come to life with people and the sounds of the day ahead. No, he’d leave the bike and get his surfboard. He knew a good stretch of beach along the coast that was quiet and unknown to a lot of people. He’d take the jeep. Decision made. Maybe a bit of time alone, just him and the ocean, might help get his thoughts together. If that didn’t help then nothing would.

  ***

  “Everything ok?” Michael approached India as she sat outside on the steps of her trailer during a break in filming.

  She wasn’t actually sure if everything was ok. She wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling really. She was still trying to understand why Kenny had kept his Malibu home a secret from her, and why he’d chosen now to share the information. It was confusing, and it had upset her. She’d accused him of not trusting her. All this time he’d had his own place, his own beach house, and he’d never mentioned it once. Why? She thought she knew him, thought she knew everything about him, but it seemed she was wrong.

  She looked up at Michael and smiled. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

  “You sure? You look a little ... sad.” He indicated the spot next to her and she nodded, so he sat down. “Do you want to tell me what’s up?”

  She looked at him again. He was so kind to her, she liked him. He was becoming a good friend.

  “Is it Kenny?” Michael asked, mentally crossing his fingers, hoping Kenny Ross was at last starting to show his true colours.

  India pushed a hand through her hair and sat back, sighing. “It’s something so stupid, so meaningless really, but sometimes ... sometimes he just gets to me, Michael.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s not even worth me worrying about, not really. I’ll get over it, it’s nothing.” She looked at him and smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Really. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure?” he smiled, tentatively moving his hand closer to hers until they touched, ever so slightly. He bit the bullet and wrapped his fingers around hers, giving them a small squeeze. A friendly gesture, but one he hoped might trigger something.

  She looked at him again, smiling the smile that Michael had fallen in love with the second he’d seen her. And as much as he wanted her to be happy, he still hoped that whatever it was that was happening between her and Kenny would prove to be much more than nothing. He hoped that Kenny Ross had finally laid the path for him to walk on and take India as his own, because he’d make her happy. He’d make sure she was nothing but happy.

  “I’m here. If you ever need to talk, or you just want someone to listen ... I’m here, India.”

  She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, suddenly just wanting a hug, wanting to feel close to someone. That morning’s conversation with Kenny had really thrown her, and the mixed feelings of confusion and anger she was still experiencing were giving her a headache.

  Michael read the signs and slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him, hugging her gently. “How about lunch?” he smiled, tilting her face up to look at him.

  She smiled back. “Yeah. I think I’d like that.”

  “Good.” He gave her shoulders one last squeeze and reluctantly stood up. As much as he would have loved to sit there holding her all day he had a movie to direct, produce and star in and duty called. “I’ll see you later then?”

  She nodded, and as he walked back onto set he felt happier than he had done in years. It felt as though everything was starting to fall into place and he couldn’t hide his smile.

  India watched him walk away, pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them as she watched everything go on around her. Her life was good, how could she say it wasn’t? From Newcastle-upon-Tyne to Hollywood in just over two short years, but it wasn’t without its complications, the biggest one of all being Kenny. She had no idea why he’d suddenly felt the need to come out with all this information now, but the more she thought about it the more she was beginning to understand his reluctance to say anything at all. Kenny’s image was that of the free spirited, wild rocker, the guy who lived life one day at a time but there was obviously this part of him that knew he couldn’t be that person forever. Everyone had to have an escape. The beach was hers, and it was obviously his too, so he could have told her. Out of anyone, he could have told her.

  She heaved herself up off the steps and went back inside her trailer. She needed a drink of water before she went back on set. Lunch with Michael would be nice, and she was looking forward to it. Making this movie with him was turning into a really great time, he was a wonderful actor to work with and she was learning so much from him. But he was also becoming a great friend and she was grateful for that. To have people like him and Reece in her life made her feel very lucky. But then, having Kenny in her life too, for all his complications, was also an amazing thing, and she couldn’t stay mad at him. He knew he’d been stupid, she’d seen that in his face. Maybe tonight they could talk about it, maybe she could get him to really open up to her and start to actually make a go of this relationship. Something they probably should have done before they’d got married but it was too late to dwell on that one now.

  She smiled to herself, suddenly feeling better about everything. And if this was the worst thing that could happen to them then she really didn’t think they had much to worry about. They were going to be just fine.

  ***

  A few hours surfing had helped to blow away the cobwebs and Kenny was now in a party mood. A day on his own had taken him back to the times when he’d do this on a frequent basis, just up and leave with his surfboard and take off to wherever the jeep took him for a day of doing whatever he liked without anyone else to worry about.

  He loved India, of course he did, but he was having too good a time to stop it just yet. He wanted to re-live those wild days again, kick back and hang out with the guys, throw a party, go crazy for the night. And now he’d learned not to be quite so protective of his home that’s exactly what he was doing.

  He’d put the word out, loaded the jeep with as much alcohol as he could on his way back home, and now the place was full of the sound of rock music, people spilling out onto the decking, the sounds of a party in full swing filling the air and Kenny was loving it. He’d drunk quite a bit but he’d needed it, it was chilling him out, getting him in the mood to enjoy this party to the limit.

  “Hey, Charley!” he smiled, recognising India’s friend immediately as she walked though the door, arm in arm with a couple of ver
y pretty young girls. He guessed they were girls she worked with. He hadn’t invited her personally but she obviously knew a couple of the guys he hung out with. Besides, this was open house now; she was as welcome as anyone, even though he was fully aware that she was working for the notorious Jimmy Cash now. He’d even seen a couple of her films and, although it took a lot to shock him, he was surprised she’d turned to hard-core porn. She’d been doing ok before and he could only assume she was in it for the money. Why else did a lot of these girls go down that road?

  Charley smiled at him. Kenny Ross, as gorgeous as ever, and right there in front of her. It had taken her all of a few seconds to agree to come to this party when she’d heard it was happening, despite being very much Jimmy Cash’s girl. But he was in Vegas, and what the eye didn’t see, the boyfriend needn’t worry about. Not when Charley was staring a possible opportunity right in the face.

  “Hi, Kenny.” She looked around the room. “India not around?”

  Kenny pushed his hair back off his face. “She’s filming.” A lie, of course. India had no idea this was going on and he tried to pretend that stab of guilt hadn’t happened.

  Charley couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. A possible opportunity had just turned into a definite chance. “Ok. Well, I guess we’ll just have to have fun without her then?”

  Kenny smiled back. “Yeah. I suppose we will. Do you want a drink?”

  He hadn’t even noticed her two friends disappear but they had, and they were now standing alone.

  “I’d love a drink. Anything you’ve got.”

  This was like a dream come true for Charley. Here she was with Kenny Ross, India nowhere to be seen, and Jimmy in Vegas. She got the impression, from Kenny’s body language when she’d asked him where India was, that something had gone on between them, a row or something, she didn’t know, she didn’t care. All she cared about was that she had him alone. And she’d waited a long time for this. The opportunity was finally here and she wasn’t going to waste it.