No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  He leaned over the side of the sofa and retrieved the cushion she’d thrown at him earlier, placing it behind her back, gently kissing her cheek.

  “There you go, babe. See, I’m not all bad.”

  She stuck her tongue out at him again and kicked him playfully.

  “Fuck! I still can’t believe you’re having a baby, India. You always told me you didn’t want kids.”

  “I didn’t want a lot of things before me and Michael.”

  Kenny looked at her. She’d grown up so much since they’d first met, turned into one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, and there was still that little piece of him, that part of his heart that wished, more than anything, that they were still together. How different would things have been if they were? But it was pointless going there. Whether he liked it or not Michael had changed her to some extent, and Kenny almost felt like it was going to be an uphill struggle to keep her in his life from now on.

  “Actually, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about, Kenny.”

  He looked up. “Oh yeah? I think I’ve had enough surprises for one day.”

  She pulled out the letter from Charley and handed it to him.

  “Is this from who I think it’s from?” He opened it slowly and started to read through it. “Jesus ... you’ve got to ignore this India. Really. This is not a good idea, especially now. You don’t need this. And what’s Michael gonna say if he sees it? Because I’m assuming he doesn’t know?”

  She shook her head. “No. He has no idea.”

  He handed it back to her. “Throw it away.”

  “I can’t do that, Kenny.”

  “Throw it away, India. Michael is gonna freak, and I have to say I’d be on his side with this one. Don’t put yourself through it. Just leave it. Please.”

  “I can’t just leave it, Kenny. Not after this. I can’t settle knowing she’s out there and we’re doing nothing to help.”

  He sighed, sitting back, closing his eyes for a second. “So, what are you planning on doing then?”

  “I don’t know.” She folded the letter back up and stood up, slipping it back into her bag. “I was kind of hoping you could help me on that one.”

  He leaned forward. “Do you know where she is?”

  India shook her head. “No idea. She didn’t say in the letter ... why didn’t she say, Kenny?”

  “Probably because she knows as well as we do how dangerous Jimmy Cash can be.”

  “But what was the point in writing to me and telling me all of that and then not telling me where she is? Jesus!”

  “Do you see what’s happening here, India?” Kenny stood up, walking over to her. “You’re getting yourself totally stressed out, and if that man out there finds out what’s going on it’s all going to be over anyway because he isn’t going to let you do anything that puts any pressure on you or that baby. Do you hear me? If you want to help Charley – and God knows why I’m letting you get involved in this but you’re obviously not going to let it go – then you have to stay calm. Ok?”

  She nodded. “Ok.”

  Kenny looked at her. Despite his misgivings about all of this, he knew that if he didn’t try to help her then she’d only go off and do something on her own and he couldn’t let that happen. She was pregnant now, his beautiful best friend was having her own baby and it was taking some getting used to. He hadn’t thought this thing with her and Michael would move along quite so fast but now it obviously had and he was just going to have to deal with it.

  She looked up at him with eyes that were desperately asking him to understand why she couldn’t leave this alone and he pulled her into his arms and held her tight, stroking her back gently, kissing her forehead. “It’ll be ok, babe. It’ll be ok, we’ll find her. She’s almost definitely still in L.A., it’s where Jimmy mostly works out of, that I do know. So we’ll find her.”

  She pulled away from him slightly and smiled. “Thanks, Kenny. I didn’t want to do this on my own, but I would have done, if I’d had to.”

  “I know. That’s the only reason I’m getting involved. I know how stubborn you can be once you get your teeth into something. You’re like a dog with a fucking bone, you just won’t let it go.”

  She smiled again, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “That’s just me Kenny. That’s how I am.”

  He couldn’t help smiling back. “Yeah, I’m aware of that. I’m still not happy about it, and I’m definitely not happy about lying to Michael because if he finds out he’s gonna come gunning for me, but if it makes you happy ...”

  “It does.” She stood on tip-toes, kissing him quickly. “Now get out of here, I’m due back out there in a few minutes. And remember, look surprised tonight, ok?”

  “Ok.” He kissed her back, giving her one last hug. “You are such hard work, do you know that?”

  “Yeah. But you love me anyway.”

  He smiled, walking over to the trailer door. “Yeah. Always babe. Always.”

  ***

  Michael knew without a shadow of a doubt that India would have told Kenny about the baby already. He knew he’d visited her on set that afternoon, knew he’d been in her trailer with her, and he felt a stab of jealousy pierce his chest at the thought of him in there with her.

  He knew India didn’t love Kenny in that way anymore, the rational part of him knew that side of things was over and their relationship seemed to work much better as just friends, but that didn’t stop him from feeling unsettled at the thought of them together. They’d always be close; he couldn’t stop that, not without it upsetting India, which is why he knew she’d already told him. She wouldn’t have been able to keep it quiet. But that didn’t actually bother Michael. No, that wasn’t a problem at all. Knowing that India was now expecting his, Michael Walsh’s, baby might just make Kenny think more than twice about ever going there again with her. Those doors were now well and truly closed. She was having his baby. And every time he thought about that he couldn’t stop smiling.

  He looked in the mirror, fastening his belt and pushing a hand through his hair. Tonight they were telling those closest to them that they were about to become parents, and being able to say it out loud, to actually say the words – that India was making him a father – was going to make it all the more real. He was determined to look after her, to make sure she wanted for nothing during this pregnancy. She was going to have the best care possible. Nothing was going to hurt her or upset her, he’d see to that. And when the time came that it eventually became public knowledge then he’d protect her, he’d see to it that things didn’t get too much for her. She and that baby were his life now, and nobody was going to get in the way.

  He smiled as she walked up behind him, looking stunning in a simple black strapless dress and high, strappy heels, her hair loose and tousled around her shoulders, black leather cuff bracelets round each wrist, a nod to the rock-chick still inside her. She put her arms round his waist and snuggled up against him.

  “You look amazing.” He never tired of saying that because it was always true.

  He turned round and took her in his arms, holding her loosely as he kissed her quickly.

  “Shall we go tell them then?” she smiled.

  He nodded, that overwhelming feeling of just wanting to be alone with her taking him over again. They hadn’t had more than a few hours on their own in the past few months, what with the movie and other work commitments, and he just wanted to get away; away from everyone else and concentrate totally on themselves. He was thinking of New York. He had an apartment over there which meant they could have some privacy, be completely alone, because there was something else he badly needed to do and he couldn’t do it here, he didn’t want to do it here.

  India straightened the collar of his open-necked shirt and kissed him again, taking his hand. “Come on then. Let’s go see their faces when they hear this piece of news.”

  ***

  “Any closer to letting me know when you’re gonna tell her,
Reece?” Terry asked, helping himself to another beer from the fridge in India’s huge kitchen. Much to his relief, tonight really was just an informal evening for family and friends. Only himself, Kenny, Reece and Vince – over from Vegas for a few days – were here. No hired waiters, no catered event. Dinner was being prepared by India’s personal chef and, as far as Terry could make out, he was the only member of staff around tonight. He much preferred it this way. It made everything seem more real, more normal. Or as normal as it could be anymore.

  “I don’t think tonight’s the best time, do you?” Reece replied, leaning back against the island in the middle of the kitchen.

  “Why not? I’d say it was the perfect time.”

  “We don’t know what’s going on yet, do we? We don’t know what they’re gonna tell us, and whatever it is it might mean tonight is not the night to tell India that I’m her father. Besides, I want to tell her on my own, just me and her. Surely you can understand that?”

  Terry threw him a look and Reece sighed.

  “I said I’d do it when the time was right, Terry, and I mean that. Don’t push me.”

  “She needs to know, Reece.”

  “Christ, do you not think I know that. Do you not think it’s the only thing on my mind every day? Do you not think it’s all I can concentrate on at the minute?”

  Terry held up his hands. “Ok, ok, I’ll shut up.”

  “Thank you.” Reece looked up as Michael and India walked into the room. She looked incredibly happy, her whole face lighting up as she looked at Michael, whispering something in his ear and he nodded, squeezing her waist. Whatever they were about to tell them it was obviously good news, which was a relief.

  “What do you reckon all this is about then?” Terry asked.

  “No idea, to be honest,” Reece replied.

  “You don’t think they’re getting married do you?”

  Reece looked at him. “Would you have a problem with that?”

  Terry shrugged. “Suppose not. It’s just that, after Kenny, I would have thought she’d shy away from that for a while.”

  India looked over at Kenny, who was talking to Vince, and gave him a small smile, which he returned, along with a quick wink which she hoped Michael hadn’t caught. She was totally unaware that he’d already guessed she’d told Kenny this afternoon, but she couldn’t wait any longer to tell everyone else the news.

  She smiled up at Michael, who stood behind her, his arms around her waist, his hands gently placed on her stomach as he quickly kissed her neck.

  “You gonna tell us why we’re all here then, sis?” Terry smiled, putting his beer down and folding his arms.

  “Yes, Terry, we’re going to tell you.” She turned to look at Michael once more and he nodded. She leant back against him, her fingers entwining with his as she looked at everyone. “Ok. The thing is, we’ve got something quite exciting to tell you all.”

  “Told you,” Terry whispered, nudging Reece. “They’re getting married. Bet you.”

  “We got some news yesterday that we can’t wait to share with you – and just you for the time being,” India went on. “Michael and I ... we’re having a baby. I’m pregnant!”

  Reece couldn’t believe it. His baby was having one of her own, his grandchild! Now it was more important than ever that she knew the truth.

  “Whoa! I never saw that one coming,” Terry said, going over to his sister and hugging her tight. “I’m gonna be an uncle! Congratulations sis!” He kissed her quickly, letting her go so he could shake Michael’s hand. “And you too, Michael.”

  “Thanks, Terry,” Michael smiled, looking out the corner of his eye at Kenny. Yes. He’d been right. He already knew.

  Reece came over and shook Michael’s hand too, congratulating him before hugging India, wanting to hold onto her and tell her, right now, that she was carrying his grandchild, that he was her father, that he loved her and wanted to look after her and make up for all those years he hadn’t known she was there. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. He wanted that more than anything.

  “This is great news, sweetheart,” he smiled.

  “Are you happy for us, Reece?” For some reason she really wanted his approval. She really needed that.

  He smiled again. “Of course I am. As long as you’re happy then I’m happy.”

  “Good.” She smiled back. “That’s really good, Reece, because, I want you to be this baby’s Godfather. You’ve done so much for me, I can’t ever repay you for that. You’ve almost been like a dad to me over the years, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have as my baby’s Godfather.”

  Those words were like a punch in the stomach to Reece and he just hoped his face didn’t give that away.

  “You’re one of the most important people in my world, Reece, and I want you to be one of the most important people in my child’s world. So, will you be their Godfather?”

  Reece didn’t know how much longer he could do this. His stomach was in knots but he couldn’t do it now, not tonight. It didn’t feel right tonight. So he just nodded. “I’d be honoured, India.”

  She gave a little squeal of delight and threw her arms round his neck, hugging him tight. “Thank you, Reece.” She kissed his cheek and let go of him. “I love you, you know that don’t you?”

  “Yes, I know that, darling. And I love you too.” More than you’ll ever know, he thought, watching her run over to Kenny.

  “This has put a whole new slant on things then, hasn’t it?” Terry said, coming back over. “You’re gonna have to tell her sooner rather than later now, aren’t you?”

  Reece looked at him. “It certainly looks that way, yeah.”

  “A baby, huh? Who’d have thought ... I never realised it’d got that serious between them.”

  “I’m guessing it wasn’t planned.”

  Terry looked at him. “Hey. This makes you a granddad.”

  “I had worked that one out.” He pushed a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “Jesus! Why does life have to be so fucking complicated?”

  “Are you going to tell her tonight?”

  “Of course I’m not going to tell her tonight. Look at her.” He watched as she hugged Vince, her excited face so radiant and beautiful as she laughed at whatever it was he was saying to her. He couldn’t wade on in there now and give her the bombshell he had waiting for her. “Tonight is definitely not the right time.”

  Terry watched his sister, watched the way Michael held onto the tips of her fingers almost absent-mindedly as he spoke to Vince, watched the way she reacted to him like they were two halves of the same whole. This baby was a surprise, sure, but it had obviously made his sister extremely happy. And it had made him realise just how much in love with Michael Walsh she really was. In the few minutes since she’d told them the news, in those few short minutes, as he’d watched the way they were together, even when talking to different people, as he watched their body language, watched the looks that passed between them, he knew this was the real deal.

  “Yeah. Maybe you’re right, Reece.” He picked up his bottle of beer, looked at it and put it back down. “I’m off to get some of that champagne Michael’s just opened. Do you want one?”

  Reece nodded. “Yeah ... Terry?”

  Terry stopped and turned around to look at him.

  “I will tell her. I promise. I’ll tell her, soon.”

  Terry smiled. “Yeah, I know. When the time’s right.”

  ***

  “Thank you for looking surprised,” India said, sitting down next to Kenny on one of the large, comfy sofas that were situated at the back of her kitchen in a cosy sitting area.

  “No problem, babe. Although I reckon he’d already twigged that I knew.”

  India looked at him, shocked. “How?”

  Kenny laughed. “Come on, India. You can’t keep your mouth shut for five minutes if I’m around. You tell me everything, even Michael knows that.”

  She looked over at Michael, who caught her eye
and smiled at her, making her stomach do that flip again.

  “I’m not that bad am I?” she asked, looking back at Kenny.

  “There was no way you could have seen me this afternoon and not said anything. It’s true,” Kenny laughed, noticing her look of total, innocent surprise.

  “I hate it when you’re right.”

  He smiled a smug smile and she kicked his ankle. “Jesus, India, those heels are lethal!”

  “I could do a lot worse, believe me ... God, I could do with a drink.”

  “Surely one wouldn’t hurt, would it?”

  “Probably not, but I don’t want to take any chances so early on. Michael’s put some champagne in my orange juice, just so’s I don’t feel left out, but I could really murder a beer.”

  Kenny laughed. “Now that’s the India I know and love.”

  “Yeah, well, sometimes the old me comes out from hiding.”

  Kenny looked at her.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What you looking at me like that for then?”

  “I like the old you, India. Why isn’t she around more often?”

  She sat back against the sofa cushions and threw back her head, closing her eyes. “There are times I want to go back there, Kenny, go back to being the way I was, a rebel almost, but ...”

  “But what? But Michael wouldn’t like it?”

  She sat up and stared at him. “No! No, Kenny, this has got nothing to do with Michael. Don’t bring him into this.”

  He took her hand and moved closer to her. “Just because he’s older than you, just because he’s different from me, that doesn’t mean you have to lose you, India. Don’t ever lose you. This place fell in love with you for who you were, someone new and exciting and that means they accepted you for yourself. Remember that.”

  She looked at him, not really knowing what to say but knowing that everything he’d just said made perfect sense.

  Kenny looked away, letting go of her hand, leaning back into the sofa.

  “Have you thought any more about this business with Charley?”